I was ordered to pay support in 1995 for my then 2 year old daughter, I never signed a paternity affidavit, never was served court papers, the process server threw the paper on the porch of my Grandmother's house and said you've been served as my Mom opened the door. I was living with my daughters mother at the time a couple miles away. I was ordered in default and although neither one of us participated in the proceedings, I was ordered to pay.
I was 18 at the time and my girlfriend was 17, she turned 18 just as the final order was entered. We stayed together until 2007. I never received anything from Support enforcement or the courts except one letter in late 97, which she promptly took to the Support Enforcement office to take care of it (or so she said) We were like any other family she got her dad's house and we lived there from 97 until 07 when she kicked me out, only reason she gave was we grew apart. I paid 53,000 into that house, did a huge remodel on it and landscaped the acre in the back. All I left with was my clothes and tools.
1 year after I moved I got a letter from Support enforcement that said I owed $40,000. I called them and they said there was nothing I could do but they would ask her for a statement in re: to the years we lived together. She only admitted to 99 through 07 which I didn't understand until I got the new letter & balance due, in the explanation it said she was on TANF (welfare) from 95 - 99 I HAD NO IDEA, we even had talked about getting on food stamps once and argued a little about it and then decided we weren't going to go that route. How could she do this? How could she get away with it? Supt.
Enforcement office thinks I was gone while she was on assistance, she told them she didn't know where I was. Her dad and her owned the business that I ran out of our house I was paid in cash or the money just went into the house or for bills. I had no bank account or any solid records of anything. We were a family why would I need evidence of that? Now I have a 17 yr old who has a 1 year old, she hasn't gone to school since I moved out. She lives with her boyfriend. Me and my new girlfriend take care of her baby a couple days a week normally and foot the bill for quite a bit of her needs and still pay child support.
I was held in contempt when I wasn't working and still have to go to court even though I'm paying the full amount now. My ex is on food stamps even though my kid doesn't live with her she's claiming that she does and although I've tried to show proof to every one who I thought could help including my wonderful public defender and the case worker no one cares, DCS says that even though my child may not be living with my ex, that my ex MIGHT still be supporting her so I still have to pay. What a crock!!
I talk to my kid every day I see her a couple times a week, she is totally out of control as far as me being able to parent on anything, in her mind she is a mother with a grown man as a boyfriend (neither one of them work) she's not a child anymore so why am I still paying child support?