28/yr/newlywedHusband

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28/yr/newlywedHusband

by Jovan Jubert
(Jacksonville NC)

When I was 24 I had turned a semi partime job into a career, aggresively moving from bank teller to loan specialist within 2.5 years. Before and during that time I maintained an on again off again relationship w/ my ex for 7 years. We both were (technicaly) considered single. So we both played the field when we weren'together. In the end she stop taking birth control. And I unknowingly decided to settle down with another woman. Bad news came when my ex came to my job told me she was 3mnths late.

I was uncertain and unconvinced that she was pregnant with my child but still overall concerned. 2 months after hearing that news (4.5mnth pregnant) I got fired from my career as a loan specialist at that bank.

Due to a misdemeanor that happened 4 yrs prior, prevented me from persuing the same career, or any career there after. 2months before my ex was expecting I joined the military to better myself, and if there was a posiblity that the baby was mine, that I could support him/her some way or another.I was on unemployment that was about to dissolve.And I felt I had no other choice.

After discussing w/ the ex who is 2mnths due about the implications (needing a paternity test ect.) she was rather content and supporting of my overall dicision but upset at the timing. So I missed this birth of this bastard child.

Once my basic training was complete, I saw the newborn for the very 1st time. She was 2mnths old. And was the most gorgeous baby I have ever seen. Unfortunatley the mother who once understood the importance of a paternity test decided that a paternity test was just a way for me to deny my own child. And refused for me to try and swab this child so i could get results to proactively handle this issue accordingly.

5-6mnths later, due to military pay this (E-2) was giving $100 (literaly giving diaper money and nothing more) to my ex. And I wasn't convinced this child was actually mine. Roughly $600-$800 total was given to this woman for 8months. I was in another state on a military base, when I received an official letter in regards to paternity from the state of FL. And 30 days later I was 99.97% the father of my "beautiful daughter". Still not happy with the past relationship w/ the mother of my child, I decided to plan a wedding with my current interest. I insisted on trying to place my daughter on military insurance immediately after I signed her Birth Cert. but the mother refused to give me her information. So I had to convince the Dept of Rev. to give me my daughters social so I could place her on TRICARE. I kept the notorized copy of the SSN(for court purposes) and something made me feel that my ex was up to no good. So I started to change our cell phone discussions to txt msgs and saved all of them.

Soon after I proudly signed my daughters Birth cert. I legaly got married, got an apartment, and wonderful wife. I made several frustrating attemps to see/spend time w/ my daughter, but the mother abused my attempts and played the "no call no show games" with my daughter., and was often nowhere to be found. But still was recieving money from my wife and I.

1year & 1mnth from my daughters birth date, My ex & I were both mediation arguing over900 dollars in child support. I insisted upon timesharing and was told that child support overides this current hearing. But what they didn't know was that I had already filed a petition prior to the hearing regarding manditory visitation. Eventually the Child support hearing was dropped, and rescheduled at a later date.

The next month my wife and I had our very secretive, well orchastrated & exicuted wedding in my hometown in FL. I notified my ex several times about my availiblity during that week prior to the wedding so I could spend time w/ my daughter, when I came to visit my daughter at the daycare the mother called the local authoriies on me and "claimed" that I was going to Kidnap her.

I now have an attorney. And we have Court October 7th for manditory visitation. In which I have witnesses who are there to testify on mybehalf that I am a good father to my daughter when I have her. And I have evidence of text messages stating that she wishes she could just take the money from me w/o me having any relationship w/ my daughter, she wants me to die in Iraq, and be out of her & my daughters life forever. and claims that I am a neglectful parent. Even though I drive 4 states away(9.5hrs each way) everymonth to try and spend time w/ my daughter. And I usually get 3hrs of supervised visitation all b/c she is considered costodial by default. Until Oct 7th. Unfortunately I am still worried about not getting 50/50 timeshare w/my 18mnth old daughter.

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28/yr/newlywedHusband

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Jun 06, 2011
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Can dual lawyers play fair?
by: Jovan Juber

I have a huge feeling that he (opposing lawyer) may have changed my address to the fake(modified) address in the Florida Bar Database (if a database exist) to make an advantage in court w/o me knowing. End result; I terminated my lawyer for not informing me of the contempt hearing.

I was found in contempt for not paying the "court ordered" amount of child support for 3 consecutive months. When I showed up to the court date I was prepared to explain to the judge as to how comfortable my daughter had become and completely oblivious that we were having a contempt of court hearing. I actually thought the hearing was to follow up on the status of my daughter's relationship w/ me after a specified duration of weekend visitations.

I have googled several articles of several situations in several states in which non custodial parents have been arrested for driving on a suspended license, completely unaware that DCF/CSE mailed out numerous warning letters to bum address informing the non custodial to contact DCF/CSE immediately to prevent such matters from taking place.

If u have any information please share your experiences w/ me. Or if u can tell me that the Florida bar has a data base or if u have a friend who may understand the methods in how a database is maintained please let me know. I need to know if the data base has an entry date/time of modification along with who modified it.

Thank u for your prayers, and continue to pray for me and my loving wife. I Just want all readers to know, that I'm struggling, but God is amazing and making a way for my wife and I.

Again If you have any input on legal databases and how they controlled or managed. Please feel free to email me at Jjubert83@aol.com

Jun 06, 2011
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But wait I can explain... (cont)
by: Jovan Jubert

Unbelievably frustrated and and incapable of visiting my daughter for 2 going on 3 months. I terminated my (now ex)lawyer for failure of keeping me up to speed. I then hired new legal representation (on credit)God can work miracles!!! Unfortunately the next hearing that took place was the worst thing I had ever experianced.

Because I couldn't afford to travel from NC to FL I had telephone conferenced into legal a slaughter house of accusations not only from the opposing lawyer (which was expected) but the judge as well (which wasn't expected). As to why I didn't pay the court order child support. Or simplisticly expressed by the judge... Why didn't you give money to your 2year old Daughter!?!?!?!?!?

Basically I'm now classified as a Dead Beat Dad.

End result, I was found in contempt for not paying the full amount of child support ordered. To add insult to injury when full amount of child support was deducted out of my pay, I was financially incapable of traveling for almost 3 months. I laugh now, because I've come a long way, and God has a way of revealing himself when you are at the lowest point in your life.

After being slapped with an arrears of 10k without consideration of past travel expenses)and after child support got done w/ my bi monthly deduction I still had to find a way Florida to spend time w/ my daughter, and pay the 1000 in full to the clerk of court, oh yeah and lets not forget I had to pay the opposing lawyer 500 for wasting his time.

LOL!!! Again God is Amazing, HE kept me from going to jail for 30days!!! Blessed me with loved ones, a supportive spouse, a supportive church home, active duty and civil service members, who truly support and encourage my actions to pursue full custody,

Jun 06, 2011
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But I cant explined (cont...)
by: Anonymous

Public service announcement... Child support and Visitation are two separate matters.

In the month of Oct 2009's time sharing hearing, I presented the court with certified documentation that my current residence had changed. When the hearing was over, the judge made a ruling "stating that 6 months from Oct2009 would be a hearing to see how both child and non custodial relationship bonded to determine increase visitation.

Long story short the court order placed me in a dilemma. I could pay the court order child support in full, and be financially capable to travel 1000mi round trip monthly, or make a monthly visit (and strengthen the relationship between my daughter and I) and be held in contempt. While travel expenses be determined at a later date.

Not that the judge was at fault for creating such an order, I heavily blame my ex lawyer for not communicating w/ me and not petitioning the court for clarification immediately after I informed her of my tribulations.

7 months before my ex-lawyer's termination. 3 month progressed, as well as my daughter's bond w/ me. But I received no court order. Nor could I get a hold of my Lawyer to get a copy. I had to rely on a very close relative to physically pick up a certified copy of the court order and mail it to me 4 months after the Oct hearing. on the same month I arrived in court to discuss matters related to child support. Unfortunately travel expenses was never disgussed (because child support and time sharing are two are strictly separate issues). And I had no clue what the pourpose of the hearing was for until I walked in the court room and was blind sighted with questions about how much money I didn't make when I was in Boot camp (to calculate arrears).

7 months passed and I was never notified by the opposing party of such violations (and the opposing party violated numerous orders also and still continues to violate them). 2 months before our next hearing, I had to call the Florida Bar to find out if my lawyer was still alive. Only to argue w/ him/her as to why she still never sent me a copy of the court order that our Judge created.

That's when we both realized that my current residence wasn't "on the system". To her surprise she informed me that she mailed me 2 certified copies of the time sharing order. when I asked what address did she mail the docs to... she told me she mailed the docs to an address that never existed, the false address closely resembled a residence that I did live in. But looked as if it was entered w/ a keystroke error. So I strategicly wouldn't receieve the docs through mail forwarding. No court orders, no court docs from opposing lawyers stating that I had violated the court order.)

Jun 06, 2011
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I can explain!!!! And then God shows himself ...
by: Jovan Jubert

Is it possible for an attorney (who is certified by the Florida Bar Association) to modify address of litigants in reference to a civil hearing; without the opposing party acknowledgment?

For instance. ie; in case of said litigants "Wayne v Doe(you)". The lawyer(who is a representative of Wayne) modifies the address of Doe(you) w/in the State Bar database (w/o your knowledge). Then mails very important court related documents to that modified address (not to exclude Child Support Enforcement Docs)?

My opposing lawyer is a dual lawyer. He is a state appointed attorney for the Dept. of Children and Families/Child Support Enforcement, who is appointed to represent the parent(s) who file for child support in court related matters.

Outside of that practice, he also doubles as a attorney who specializes in prosecuting active duty service members in family law.
(I respect a man who has ambition. But isn't there sportsmanship in Law?) Is there not a conflict of interest when you dually represent a client for two separate subject matters? Maybe? Maybe not?

Jan 13, 2011
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January 2011
by: Jovan Jubert

I would love to get on here and post some real serious, and personal news. And to be honest, most of it isn't possitive or encouraging.

But God never puts on you more than you can bear. And the Devil can't take anything away from you that he never gave you.

And I do know that God has given me patience & a loving and encouraging wife. God knows my heart, and I now understand that this "battle" is no longer a fight when you give it to GOD. What ever has happen will be comming to an end. The only thing I can talk about. Is his grace and how merciful and reaviling God is. And I am very thankful, and non deserving of his blessing.

B/c if it wasn't for HIM then I wouldn't be able to stand here and tell you that Fathers should never give up. This situation has brought us very strong in our faith and trust in GOD!!!! If your non religious, and really going through it. Find God!!! B/c your lost!!! And your eternal father never gave up on you. You gave up on Him. Just pray harder, gain, get, have and maintain faith... get into a church community, a church family and do right!!! I haven't gotten custody of my daughter yet!!! And still haven't had single overnight visitation. And yes... I still am enduring typical non custodial hardships. But I try to stay as factual honest and without blemish. Life and death in the tounge, Speak Life, not death. Thank you GOD, thank you to those who has prayed for us and over our trials & tribulations. Continue to pray for us. B/c we still have a more struggle to go through. But knowing that I will one day be able to be a "possitive and active father" to "MY OWN" child goes alot farther.

Thank you God for walking with my wife and I, through this struggle, and thank you for blessing me with an inspiring and dedicated woman. And thank you for blessing me with a beautiful daughter that only you could create. Fathers be fathers to your children!!! What this country doesn't need is children having children, and repetion in generations feeding a debt to our future. Take a stand and be A MAN!! A Man of faith... And A Man of GOD!!!

Apr 07, 2010
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yeah, right
by: Anonymous

I find it very interesting that all of your comments pertain to the mother and all that she does wrong, but you take not one bit of responsiblity. I can only take that to mean that you must go visit her every weekend. And you pay all of your child support on time. And you don't ever start any arguements with the mother. It's all just her fault, right? I find that very hard to believe. Take a little responsiblity for your own actions man! You say you had to call the police 3 times because she violated the court order, but you only go visit once a month? If you are so worried about your daughter, why don't you see her more? Oh, I'm sure your response will be because I have to pay child support. Suck it up man, you had a child, you have to pay to raise that child just like every other parent in the world. I'm sure she doesn't have a choice in whether she wants to pay for food and diapers and formula and daycare and doctor visits and toys....(I think you get the point here), so you are just as obligated to help pay for those things too. I can't believe that you would say that the mother is such a horrible person, and essentially a bad mother, but she has custody? And the courts must agree that she is a good parent for her to continue to have custody. I know that fathers have a right to be in their childs life, but it sounds like you need to take a little more responsiblity for being a father and stop placing all the blame on the mother.

Mar 31, 2010
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Update.
by: Jovan Jubert

Well Had Court 10/2009. Judge made the determination that we needed to increase communication, decided that we both were at fault for lack of communication. She didn't like the txtmsg records. Don't know how to communicate with a woman who doesn't want you near her child. Judge Created a court order that allowed me to have visitation privleges. However I had to call the police on the mother on 3 seperate occasions bc she violated the court order, and now I go to court again for the 2nd Hearing to find out how the last 6mnths has gone. Overall I am not happy i had to get police involved but excited that my My daughter calls me Daddy. And she knows who I am... I cherish every moment I get, just wish I could get more time... But I think the judge is working me up to equal visitation. Thank you for your concerns and continue to keep us in your prayers thoughts, and hearts.

Dec 01, 2009
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So Sorry You Are Going Thru This!
by: Anonymous

I'm sorry to hear you are going through so much just to see your daughter! Your ex is crazy not to let such a wonderful person be in their OWN child's life! I wish you the best! Please keep us updated! God Bless You, Your Wife, and Your Daughter!

Sep 01, 2009
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Shameful
by: Anonymous

It's shameful that there are women out there as you have described. I would venture to say that she is unhappy that you are with someone else now, instead of her and this is her way of getting back at you. It's good that you are keeping very accurate records of your interactions with both the mother and your daughter. I just hope that the court takes that into consideration if it comes time to use that information.

I wish you good luck, and thank you for your service to our nation.

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28/yr/newlywedHusband

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