A Wife to a Husband
Who pays child support to 2 other women!
I am a Woman married to a man that pays child support to two other women the children were born prior to our marriage. The first one he was told of came from a woman he met in a club after some time later she told him that she was involved with another man and she was pregnant, but that the baby was not his but he offered to get a DNA test done. She declined and now 5 years later came back to let him know that the other man who was there during the delivery, signed the birth certificate and played the role of Father to this little girl of 5 yrs is now not the Daddy. So you can imagine my dilemma. The other child was discovered during our engagement several months after they broke up and already having made plans for our Wedding, figured that it would not become a problem.
Oh boy was I ever wrong. :(
My biggest problem with how the child support is handled. In 1950 Congress passed the first Federal child support enforcement legislation. Through the years it's gone through a "FEW" changes the last known change was in 1996 where it's aimed towards working with fathers and it requires all employers to report information about newly hired employees-namely "FATHERS".
I think it's time that the Child Support Laws get REVAMPED!!! My husband pays out $1600.00 in child support to 2 women that he was not even married to. Not to mention we have 3 children at home. Which, thankfully when Baby Momma #2 came around...she was not able to get back child support, because it was not known that he was the father at the time and she showed up asking for a DNA test 5 years later, which had she shown up before the girls 4th birthday, then he would have to pay back child support for those 4 years, OUCH!!
I really think that several things need to be brought to the attention of tour Legislators. Namely that we are now in a society where WOMEN have evolved since the 1950's and are holding jobs that are paying the same or more than some men. I feel that just because the old adage of “The man flips the bill" is no longer the norm." Women are far more capable of doing the same.
I feel that the system is biased, that it is being discriminatory toward the man. Mainly being that the man is looked at being a "Dead Beat Dad", regardless of the fact that he is or has taken car of his obligation by ensuring that the child is receiving the monetary amount bestowed upon him from the courts. He misses one payment and they want to throw him in jail.
The way I see it... "What's good for the Gander is good for the Goose".
Now that we have made it through 2 child support issues, it brings in a lot of new questions.
1. If the man's wages are being calculated to determine the amount of child support, then why can't the woman’s "Baby Momma" earnings be included too?
After all the man did not conceive that child on his own it takes to tango, and I feel they are being let off the hook.
2. If the child support is being taken out of the mans check, he is already paying taxes on that money, so why is it that he can not claim the child as an exemption? The Women already gets that money tax free and come tax time they get to claim the child too?? HOW IS THAT FAIR?
3. The courts need to come up with some different type of system with regards to marriages that conceived children and those who conceived children out of wed-lock. I feel that men are being scrutinized because of their past, well what that says about the woman, she is just as
responsible. In some cases, she may have done it to trap the man.
4. I think that the review of Taxes does not need to be excluded if the patents are married to someone else. I surely do not want my wages included in the calculation for the amount of child support that is figured based on my earning too. I should not have to pay for children born out of wed lock, that I did not bare myself. Even though my husband is the responsible party, and he is keeping up his end of the order.
5. The calculation should be different for custodial parents that were married or re-married after the child support was calculated. It's not fair that they are receiving support when they have a spouse, who is living in the same house hold and clearly making a living and supporting the family they married into.
6. Custodial Parents involved in a Divorce where they did not have a job and stayed home and raised the children, should not have any type of income taken into account, other than the income from the working parent.
7. The state needs to come up with a card that is used strictly for child support. Cash can not be advanced from it, every penny is accounted for, and shows what the money is being spent on and requires that the money can not be direct deposited into the custodial main accounts it goes directly to the card. This will give the OAG an average of what is spent per child.
If they wanted the money for the "good of the child," then there would be no objection to this method.
These are a few things that I have made note of since going through the child support process with my husband. Not to mention, if in fact these "Custodial" parents are responsible people and they need the money for the "good of the child", then there would be no objection to either of these changes.
I guess I am a little tired of not being able to see my husband as much as I would like and hearing my babies ask, "Is Daddy staying home tonight?" Because he is working his fingers to the bone to help make up the difference in the money coming out from his paychecks to support some lavish lifestyles that the Baby Mommas did not have before child support. I think the last time I was able to spend my own money on myself was prior to our marriage, at least once a month I got a pedicure, manicure and visited a Salon, not to mention I have not been able to change my wardrobe in the last 5 years, I still have the same clothes and shoes.
Much less a vacation and both women always show up well manicured, hair dyed to compliment the seasons, salon gelled nails, and every two weeks of changed colors and fills to boot. Not to mention the manipulation of visitation to fit their schedules because they are going “Out of Town." I delivered our third child and he was born in February and my husbands family had to come down to see him, where they do not live in town, so without extra funds to travel the family comes down here to see us.
One of the women is a complete drunk and still goes clubbing to have her "one night stands". That's why Thursday, Friday & Saturday nights she allows the little girl to do sleep over’s at her friend’s houses almost every week when she is not staying with us.
Not to mention if the child support was calculated including the "Custodial” parents income, then that would put some of those” Dead Beat, Custodial Parents" in their place.
I have nothing against single parents or those who were stay at home parents prior to a divorce I just want those that abuse the system(ie..Spending the childs money, because they can) be held more accountable.