Abuse of Military Fathers paying Child Support in Virginia

by Mike
(Chesapeake, Virginia)

I am an active duty Coast Guard member stationed in Portsmouth Virginia. I love being serving my country and has done so honorably for eighteen years. I like being stationed in the great state of Virginia. With that being said; I have a problem with the child support laws of this state. I currently pay child support and was placed in arrears due to new child support order against me exceeded 60% of my Net Disposable Earnings. The Coast Guard informed the DCSE (Division of Child Support Enforcement) of this change and yet I was still obligated to pay the excess. I have requested numerous times to have my case reviewed / modified and yet to hear anything back from DCSE.

My checking accounts were frozen and have caused me great financial hardship. In addition to these arrears I cannot perform my job due to the fact I travel and any travel claims that I submit for payment is taken by the state. I love my children dearly and I have do not want to stop supporting them at all but I feel that the child support laws punish law abiding citizens, especially military members assigned in this state for the dead beat non custodial parents not taking care of their children.

Also, military member’s entitlements are considered income in this state for child support and entitlements are not even considered income for active duty members due to the fact entitlements change from duty station to the next. Lastly, I want to take care of my children but I also want to be able to live as well. The laws of this state are very biased towards the military which is one of the greatest forms of revenue for this state and non-custodial parents. I want to continue serving my country but I cannot continue living in fear of being penalized for being in the military in this state.

I have strongly considered retiring here in Virginia but the fear of being put in arrears for things out of my control leads to me to look elsewhere to retire and contribute to another state and communities.

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VA doesn't always get the guy
by: Anonymous

It sucks if you're doing the right thing but I know for fact that Virginia don't always get these guys. I had to escort many of my sailors to court and some were screwed over badly. I wasn't surprised considering I was never able to get a support order for my daughter against her father. I have spent the last 12yrs taking care of her by myself and she's not hurting for it. I only suggest that you continue to fight for what's right and don't give up because then you'd be giving up on your children.

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some help that I found out.
by: Anonymous

I am actve duty coast guard and Prior service marine. I have 2, 7 and 11 y.o., daughters with my ex wife that I pay $350 for with joint custody. But I have a son in florida by a recent ex that I pay $400 for. The Mother doenn't have custody as she have signed her rights to her grandparents and I counter-petitioned. A year later and whole lotta hell. I ended up losing custody and paying the grandparent $882 witha arrears of $18,000. All this on a E-4 pay.
Here's some things that I have found out. First, according to Code of federal regualtion, (5 CFR 581.104) BAH, BAS, Travel allowances and soome other entitlements are not usbject to garnishment. Unfortunatley, states will still include these entitlements and send letters to where ever to get this money from you. This is not allowable and most times you need a lawyer or admin to inform the offices sent for offset and garnishment, including your state. According to CFR 581.103, tax returns and special pay can be garnished for support.
Another piece of information is that PPC or DFAS can only take take up to 50% of a member's END PAY on one support order and 55% on 2 or more orders. So if you calculate your end pay to be more than 55%, inform your pay office. This is 5 CFR 581.402. For mulitple orders this is 5 CFR 581.303 and 305.
As stated before, The state will include your entitlements because they CAN. They're not suppose to include it according to FEDERAL REGULATION, but they will do as they please since any member will have to have their support orders review each time they transfer. Because it cost to review and the state takes a percentage of that money.
Last note, review the states guidelines for custody and make proper percautions. Just like the military, Document EVERYTHING! Phone calls, Emails, Social Network Messages (FB, MYSPACE, FLIKR, etc), letters, text messages. Try to get invoices form your phone company, save texts on your phone. EVERY little piece of info that shows that you are in the child's life. if my command would of allowed me to make the hearing, I would of had custody, but its I wasn't able too. Therefore resulting in the final judgemnet. Also, try to look into the Service Member's Civil Releif ACT (SCRA) on Civil Court cases (this does include family law, people have tried to say no it doesn't, trust me it DOES!)
If you can't afford a lawyer, just skip state legal aid, as you will need a referral from a non-profit organization in your duty state for your state the order is in and they will still deny you. Write your state senator and request constutent casework to deal with the matter. Military legal is only good for Military matters, with little knowledge of state and local laws.

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Lazy Ex wants more money because he is about to deploy
by: Anonymous

My fiance's ex-wife just told us via text that she is going to request that his income to be reviewed because she knows he makes more money while deployed. I am beside myself. He has NEVER not paid. For years he was paying $1500.00 and about a year ago it was reduced because he is stationed in Japan and lives in the barracks (he doesn't get BAH or OHA). He is still paying $900.00 a month for one child. The child still calls her dad and asks for money for lunch and school clothes, which is fine but at the same time it angers me because I wonder where all the child support goes? She refuses to work. I'm just so bewildered at her constant harassment.

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Military Vet on the other side
by: Anonymous

I am a veteran of the US Coast Guard where I did my duty and fought for my country until I was unable to continue on do to an injury. My ex and I had a beautiful little girl who not only did he deny for almost a year, but still to this day hasn't tried to see her, but yet he married the hoe he cheated on me with and is supporting her and her two kids....my daughter is almost 2. So when the courts ordered him to pay 1050 a month, it didn't hurt my feelings at all. That's 9 something for monthly support plus the difference for the 5 grand in back support he owes. He actually got off pretty easy especially since he argued with the judge like a moron, oh and the support is based off of what BOTH parents make, not just the one that has to pay. In my case the ratio is 70% to 30%...that's why he has to pay so much, not because he is a military member. The more money you make in comparison to your ex, the more you have to pay. I'm not out for his money, though it does help, hell at this point I'd be happier if I didn't have to deal with him and he would just sign off his rights, pay the rears and move on.

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military family
by: Anonymous

We r dealing with the same thing. Get a good lawyer that understands military pay etc. We r only paying 530.00 a month because it is what WE can afford to pay. Of you are military a judge cannot make u pay what u can't afford!!!!! Military only makes so much so therefore we aren't supposed to be paying what we can't afford good luck. Oh ya don't go onto ur base and ask the crew there they ARE NO HELP. GO get a civilian lawyer that is familiar with pay etc.

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This is not just happening to fathersmyM
by: Tia Boyd

My daughter is serving in hawaii, she has one child from a previous relationship and one with her husband. Once she was given her first duty station her husband took her son and left. She had to send her daughter to live with her father because she no longer has a family plan. Her husband took her to court and she was ordered to pay $850 per month! She is being classified as a geographical single soldier and is going to lose her BAH but the judge did not care. The judge did not care that she has another child. The lawyer appointed to my daughter stated the judge was going to order her to pay $950. What the f@#k! Without her $2000 BAH, that she only receives on paper due to living in base housing, she receives $1097!!!

I am going to help her fight this and all of you soldiers should fight as well. If you know of any help please email me sweettia0327@aol.com

Thanks

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the leave children arround the world
by: Anonymous

Im a spanish woman,i had a girl with a navy seal,she is almost 2 years old,i meet him here and then i we meet in virginia when i find out and tell him he said i will suppor us,i came back and he forgot everything he says,when i had my baby i send him pictures,I understand if he doesnt want to have a relationship,but he made my child too,is not only my responsability.Now when i ask him for the child support he says he know s his baby but the navy needs the paternity test,i know thats not true but is ok,he is on his right,he doesnt even want to have a reation with his daughter,and she is so cute and smart,here is a lot of woman like me,and is not fear.I know a lot of people only care about money but me,all i asked for was the right for my girl,first her father(not my Man) and some economic help,all i want for her is he hapiness.Sorry for my english

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This is all rediculous...
by: Anonymous

I am military as well and am going through the same things as you all are. The comments that are put forth by the user below this comment must be a spouse that all of this is talking about. I caught my ex wife cheating on my on web cam when I was in Iraq. When I got back and started the divorce proceedings, the judge didn't want to hear anything that I had to say. He told me that my claims where insufficient and that my ex had it all in writing about how I was. During the court session, I was ordered to pay $1,068 a month on E-4 pay. I was told that I had visitation rights, but it was up to the mother as to when I get to see my daughter. Well, 3 years later I finally got to see my daughter again a month before I deployed again. She is now 7 and for a while she was getting on Facebook and calling me and always talking to me, but now that my ex-wife knows that I will not get back with her and marry her again, she won't let me speak to my daughter. I have been told by many lawyers and judges that because I am military that I will never have custody of my child. They said the reasoning behind this is because we as military personnel are unstable, like mental wise, and we are always moving. I try to explain to them that is why the military has changed the stability rate when you get stationed somewhere. I believe it is straight non-sense on how we as military get treated when it comes to divorces. Especially when it comes to common wealth states. Something really needs to be done about it all, but no one really wants to help get things done. I have contacted my senator and was told that there is nothing that can be done about it. I think it is all bull hockey. But, the way I look at it is that good things come to good people and bad people get what they deserve in time.

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advice welcome!
by: Anonymous

my husband and i are going through the same thing. we just moved to alaska from virginia where bah is higher however the cost of living is dramatically higher here! his ex took him to court to re adjust his child support and the judge awarded her 1000 a month for one child!! we are currently trying to appeal but to no avail! bah and bas are given to our military men and women because they choose to die for this country! we need to stop raping them for all they are worth! i am a full believer and supporter of child support! but at a reasonable amount! he now pays 1500 a month for 2 children! making it impossible for us to pay our bills! and i work as well. however alaska is a very expensive state to live in! any one with suggestions please email me at brandi_harless@yahoo.com.. thank you! Any advice will be great!

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oh my god grown up .. buncha whiney babys
by: Anonymous

let me tell you something you made the child and ita yours unless proven otherwise its not like there taking your whole paycheck man up. there aint nothing you can do about it.. never will be petition whoever you want.. it is what it is .. you got some as@ and now you have to pay for it ... live eith it set it up on allotment so you dont have to think about the fact that your paycheck is getting raped by the system every payday lo and that your pissed off ex is spending it on god know what

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Military Dads treated unfairly
by: Anonymous

My husband is in the military (21 yrs). His ex took the kids to another state and asked to redo the child support in that state. We agreed and gave the required information to our lawyer. She usually does this right before a deployment (on purpose). Despite numerous requests, she did not give her information for 2 years. When it came time to settle or go to court, she finally gave her information over and WE were ordered to pay arrears (from the day she filed) based on the pay my husband was getting at present...not 2 years ago. Can anyone believe this? The agreement was to include the arrears in the monthly child support payments and it was signed by the judge, but now the IRS is telling us they can take it from our tax returns. We would pay child support regardless, but my husband is not a dead beat Dad and still gets treated like one. He is not able to see his children unless he travels there, but due to the massive increase in child support payments, he cannot afford to do so. It hurts him not to be able to see his kids, and the kicker is - they think he doesn't want to see them! It is really sad. We expect to be taken back to court in the next 1 to 2 years. Not surprising. Good luck to everyone out there.

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NOW IS THE TIME TO FIGHT
by: Anonymous

I am a member of the military as well. I am getting taken back to court by my ex and also was a victim of not being able to see my children for 2 years and fought just to see them. Now she wants more money.

People, listen now is the time to act! There is a national petition on the web to have a review for some changes regarding the bias treatment we receive for the BAH and the how it is putting many of us in the poor house and unable to serve our country. That is CLEARLY letting us down by allowing this discriminatory practice go on!! Talk to your Congressmen. Find that petition and put your name to it and tell anyone whom is affected!!!!! This has to get hot! If your a veteran of Traq and Afghanistan contact the IAVA if your member and push the issue! We fight to defend our country now we have to defend ourselves! PASS IT ON!

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what do i do??
by: Anonymous

my husband to is in the military... & we are married with a newborn of our own . he has two children with a woman who works at our local court office!!! & now that he is in the military she is taxing!! they are taking 60% as well & now were not able to make our bills.. she with working at the court house has manipulated all visitation & has refused visits many times. we cant afford a lawyer. we will be moving form California to kansas & we will not be able to appear in court. he signed poa to me but i dont even know where to begin..... any advise or help would b luvly

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Military men get taken
by: Anonymous

My husband went through the same thing but in San Diego. There the BAH is high don't sure how its far but the state of GA counts BAH into your monthly income. The amount for one child that the mother does not even let us see was set to above 600.00. We had to hand over our car back to the bank because we could not longer afford it. We had to move and my son had to start going with out. That is when we pushed and I mean pushed them to do a review but we had to pay for it..
I am a woman but I am ALL for father rights and far child support payments. If a father want's to change his job he should be able to do that with out the fear of going to jail or losing his DL because he can't make the outragous payments

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It Don't Matter
by: Rjamison331

Don't do that, if you retire it would be for nothing. They have stump you. Get a lawyer and let him do a show cuase on how you owe arrears, and put in for modification. And how do you owe support, shouldn't they have taking out if you have them on your paper work. You do? cuase if not the state would be taking care of them, and you should go to the state the children live in. Explain that is temporary station. You are not alone on this matter, and its not the deadbeat dads. Once you have to pay an order you are considered a deadbeat, and once that court session is done you go in to arrears and thats how they start fathers are not paying child support. Don't believe the Hype it's all a game and on this one they are using children as the gimmick to get money. PS trying to get petition together about this situation and take before congress or the Appellate courts.

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