All For Father's Rights, but not sure that the Father is....

by Mila
(Madison, WI USA)

I am currently pregnant and the baby's father is in the Army Reserves. He has been a great help in making sure that the baby and I have a place to live. He helps pay rent even though he doesn't live there. All my family lives in a different state than we do. His family lives in the same state as we do. However, recently I have been noticing things that have me scratching my head. I am all for my daughter to know her father, and am willing to make sure that he gets to spend time with her after she is born. My daughter will need her father in her life. Yet more and more I am witnessing him, the father, doing and saying things to people that doesn't match what he tells me. The father currently lives with a friend who is married to another serviceman.

He plans on living with them till he deploys in the next few months. He has been telling them that they will be allowed to have his visitation rights while he is deployed. He has also told them that when he does have our daughter, that he plans to include them in every activity. But what he has been telling me is that he wants father/daughter alone time when he returns. (Which is fine with me.) He has also told me that he wants to be there for her.

(Which again is fine with me.) But this whole telling people one thing and me another thing is getting me all confused as to what he wants. I am more than willing to work with him on visitations and even joint custody. But during this entire pregnancy he has never gone with me to a Doctor's appointment, nor has shown any interest in doing so. Whenever I have given him the dates, he tells me he is busy. Yet you can see a post on facebook saying he was doing things with the married couple he lives with.

Another thing he has been doing lately is telling people that I don't want to give him any rights of any kind. (Which is a lie in itself.) We aren't married, or dating, but are good friends. As I have stated before, I am more than willing to work with him and his rights as my daughter's father. Yet I can't seem to figure out if he really wants to be her father, or pawn her off on his married friends. (Especially since they can't a child of there own.)

At this point I am confused as to why he is playing these childish games. I want him to have his rights as the father and to make sure that those rights aren't being violated.

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