Already deemed a deadbeat by NY state family court

by Barb
(NY)

I am writing this story in regards to my bf,he does owe back child support monies, but that came to be because when he first went in front of the courts, rather then go by what he was then making, they went by what he used to make years before which back then made decent money,until the economic downfall. They have ignored several modifications, actually when he did file a modification strangely enough, the support obligations went up, rather then decreased.So he was ordered to pay a sizable amount, one which he could not afford, he has and still does send extra monies to his children, although NY state courts cal it a " Gift".


Does the NY family court system even realize now that we are in the midst of a recession? or do they not just care, and automatically deem a father a deadbeat no sooner as he walks into a court of law. Wake up out there, people are losing their jobs, are homeless, are standing on unemployment lines, food pantry lines. etc.. but NY state still thinks that a good father who has been looking for work, just about be willing to do anything,think of him as a no good dad, just because he can't find work.

And even when he does look for work, no perspective employers want to deal with anyone with child support issues let alone garnishments, yes they do discriminate even though they are not supposed to.They take away the fathers rights, drivers license, as a punishment, making it harder to get to work, when a man finds a job then they take out so much that even the father can't afford to live, basically he might as well be homeless and be a bum.

The judge in court never even give the father a chance to speak, and when they do have something to say, they say" we are not here for that", basically whatever the father says falls on deaf ears and a blind eye.

What it boils down to is that if the father can't afford to pay the support obligations. they threaten to send them to jail, more like a debtors prison if you ask me, totally ridiculous!
Now please tell me that sending a father to jail is a good thing? Okay so the court sends him to jail, he comes out in 6 months, guess what? by the time he gets out, his job is gone, he still owes the same amount of money, the mother still gets no money and our hard earned taxes are still going to support the father who NY state threw in jail, this is insanity!!

The laws are always in favor of the mother, she could be the biggest drug addict in the world, the worst mother and still the woman nine out of ten times ends up with everything.Thats because the laws are unfair and unjust,next time you are in a NY State court of law, looks at the flag, its the one thats says "Excelsior", its has a woman holding 2 scales and she is blindfolded, thats because justice is unfair, its blind and unequal, seems NY state is the only state that boasts inequality and unfairness.

They now want my my bf to pay $1100,00 a month, absurd,thats unfair and no one in this area even can afford to make that kind of payment,because of the economy and lack of jobs out there.More punishment, if you have any support issues, you can't get a hunting license,or a fishing license, guess they dont want the fathers to be able to do anything or have any kind of fun.

My bf already has bi-polar depression, if he goes to jail, guess what he will be even more depressed, or try and take his life after he gets out or will find a way to do himself in if he goes to jail, still, the mother gets nothing, except the chance to see her ex at his funeral,way to go NY state, I applaud you, lets make sure more fathers do the same while your at it.

I know what he is going through and this whole thing makes me wonder, way back when, where was the child support when I needed the help?I ended up getting 80 bucks a month,and the guidelines were the same back then as far as percentages, how do these women rate anyways? if I could sit back and collect 1100 dollars a month, I'd be able to quite my second job and have more free time.

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THIS IS HELL
by: Sheila

I have spent the past four years in court ranging from a restraining order (he was a domestic abuser, not me!) to I don't want to pay to why can't you pay for my wife's health insurance.

He has contributed $66,000 in the last for years for his children's lives, zero minutes and no gifts ever He has conservatively spent $300,000 on attorneys. He has been "teaching me a lesson" for years at the expense of the New York taxpayer. He is a bully and an abuser! His desire to make his kids pay for the fact that I divorced him. At least I can be grateful that I live in a time and place where you can divorce your abusive husband. The problem is that all of the laws are on his side.

I love my kids and alway have to pay for everything in hopes that the court will make him contribute. When he does not have to contribute, it is always on a technical issue. It seems that the responsible parent (really, their only parent) is the one who pays financially and emotionally because the system is now a vehicle for him to further abuse me and my children.

I wish that there was a vehicle to stop him and make him reimburse the taxpayers for his abuse of them too!!!

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fathers get screwed
by: Anonymous

I feel for all of you fathers out there. My husband just recently (2years ago) won custody of his son. When he did not have custody child support told him if he did not agree to an amount with his ex they would look at how much money he had been making for years prior. However once he won custody and set out to get child support, they ruled that his ex only need to pay him $24 a week. That does nothing. Once he started to carry health insurance for his son he took his ex back to try and have her pay for part of health insurance. They ruled that she only need to pay 29% because she is a waitress in a restaurant and wasn't claiming her tips so it looks like she made no money. The judge even confirmed that she knew people were doing that, yet we still get nothing in child support because the court system only works in favor of mothers. Its a joke that no one else can see this and that NY allows this to go on!

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My story
by: Anonymous

I am in a similair situation myself. I have been ordered to pay an amount of money to my ex that is based on what I used to make, not what I currently make. Plus health insurance so that it seems like my paychecks go all to my ex-gf. Thankfully, I have stayed in front of it, so I am not worried about being jailed, but I am trying hard to get legal visitation and/or custody and since I am about 9 hours away from my daughter, having extra money in my hand would make that a lot easier to do to pay for my travel expenses.

In the original hearing, the judge told me that I couldn't dispute any of my ex's claims of her expenses since the state she resides in had swore her in, so I couldn't raise any flags to what were obviously false statements. Living with her parents and paying rent? Why was it there wasn't any rent when I was there and had income, but then my income leaves and rent starts? Give me a break. No work and living at home and still needing daycare? Then to find out that she just got a new Altima for a vehicle? I'm sure my daughter needed the altima over a more economical vehicle.

I just did the math and including the difference in what I would pay for health insurance and my support, it is around 26% of my income for 1 child. Does anyone know what the legally correct amount should be before I try to get my amount reduced?

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The system stuns me
by: Anonymous

I feel for all of you that have commented. I also am in the same situation with my bf who amazing enough works in the judicial system and now sits in jail for back child support. The whole thing is simply ridiculous to me, let father who may possibly work and make money sit in jail because they have had a run of bad luck or financial struggle. In his case the ex never worked while they were married and now apparently had to go on public assistance because he has not been able to make the payment....my thought or maybe she should be required to get a job!!! He knows it is his responsibility, but putting fathers in jail does not anyone....and I would imagine does not very often get the mothers money quicker. Has anyone found any advocates that can help fathers in these cases?

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jail time
by: Anonymous

To the person who wrote they only have to serve 2/3 of their sentence. Could you tell me how to find that info. he has been in for almost 3 months of his 4 month sentence.

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BTW
by: Anonymous

To the girl whos lives in PA and your bf sits in jail, don't worry, mine is there too, but found out that anyone sentenced only has to serve 2/3 of their sentence.My bf was given 3 months, but will be out in 2 months. My Bf's ex is a real conniving Bitch,she even went as far as to lie to her medical ins company and tell them that she was divorced. When my bf went to doctor because he was in sever back pain they told him that he didn't have any. he had an upcoming court date and told the judge what she did, he reamed her out a new @ss and ordered her to reinstate my bf back on her benefits and had only 2 weeks to do it. yet this judge where we live in Ny as the others know how devious she is, but still cling to every word she says.
I am more pissed off because they could have at least waited one week so he could spend xmas with me and my family, so its going to be a very lonely holiday for him and me, so I feel your pain hun.When he does come out al he has to pay is 20 bucks a week to keep him from going back in, as long as the father is making an attempt, they cant jail him unless he misses a payment.Thats all the skank deserves anyways, 20 a week and there is nothing they can do about it, same things as a credit card company, if your in collections, all ya have to do is pay even 5 to ten dollars a month, they have to accept it, because your are making an attempt.You will get through this, my bf and I have been living together for 12 years now and this really hurts.Also on the past court date this past week, the judge asked him if he spends time with his 16 year old, which he does when the sons wants to come over, the mom said "well, he doesnt really have a relationship with his father" another lie from her,but what did she do with her son for this Thanksgiving? Nothing, not even make the kid a turkey meal, she toddled off down to her bf's house and left the kid alone. I suppose she has a better relationship huh? ROFLMAO!
BTW all I got from my ex years ago was 80 bucks a month,and this skank wants 1100 a month, she can rot in hell,if it takes my last dying breath, I will make sure she gets the bare minimum!!!!!

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they don't give 2 hoots about the father
by: Anonymous

Another comment I must add to my original post on this crazy system is that after the first few months my bf had supervised visitation at our local library,I would often tag along and make some fun activities for the kids to enjoy, several times they would tell us, that they heard mommy, grandma and grandmas drunk bf, talking and they overheard them saying that my bf their daddy would have to get past a loaded gun to see us kids.We just dismissed it as over active imaginations because they were younger and you know what kind of stories they can come up with.
Well finally he did get unsupervised visitation, we had the court papers in hand and were ready to go pick the kids up at my BF's ex mother in laws home where they would get dropped off everyday after school.Thank god I had the presence of mind to take along my cam corder, no sooner as we pulled up the driveway, the grandmother comes running out yelling at the kids to get back into the house.But they knew we were there to pick them up, so they hooped in our car, all of a sudden here comes grandmas dunk bf with a shotgun in his hands and he was loading shells into the gun and cocking it up and pointing it at us and telling us to get the F**k off the property or he was gonna shoot.once at our place the cops were called, g-mas drunk bf was arrested and they took his guns for which he had permits for none.A week later CPS came to the moms house to investigate and interview the kids, what does mommy do? She yells at her kids to go to their room. Now if I was a social worker that would have raised my suspicions and I would automatically know that the mother was trying to hide something,she had a guilty conciseness, therefore did not want the kids to be questioned. I think shes the one that should have be in jail, not my bf, because she not only endangered the welfare of a minor, but these were her own kids!, Nothing like using kids as a weapon!!This ex of my bf has done everything she could to sabotage his and the children s happiness and welfare.I dont think she deserves one red cent!!

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he is now in jail :(
by: Anonymous

I knew it would happen,it was only a matter of time,my bf had court on this past Monday for the so claimed will violation,he now sits in county jail for 3 months.I cried my eyes out for this man whom I love so dearly, to see the hurt, pain and see him humiliated and degraded, to be put into a class of "Criminal", which he certainly does not deserve. As far as I am concerned, I think the mother should be in jail, because when the scheming, greedy mother, filed the petition back in the summer,she stated that my bfs oldest kid resides with her, in fact his kid has not lived with the mother for a year and a half. and is also collecting public assistance in another state for her and her daughter. So for the mothers own personal gains, she falsified the information on the petition.I am going to do my darnedest to raise a red flag so that the courts see how false she filled out the petition form.I have copy of form highlighted in yellow, where it states both children live with her as well as his daughters social networking site info page, clearly stating that her current city she resides in is not the same state the mother is claiming she lives in with her.I hope justice is served, and karma does have a way of biting one self in the @ss.

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unfair to fathers
by: Anonymous

Having same problem in PA. My bf is in jail right now for missing a hearing. He got sent there for 4 months unless he comes up with over $2000 how is he suppost to do that. I am so frustrated. I've tried to help him find any hiden law and find someone who can lend him the money to get out. No luck in either search. He has had 3 job offers and cant take them because he sits in jail. those jobs will be gone when he gets out. so no job which means he cant pay support and back in jail they will put him. They dont care his kids moms dont care either. They rather him sit in jail then try to pay support. Where does that make any sense? He doesnt get to see his kids even though court ordered. The laws for child support only hurt the fathers they dont help. They need to give some help to all fathers right now with the way the job market is right now.

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With or Without
by: Anonymous

I'm WITH THIS. CA CSS is just as careless. I been through it and lost new relationships and attempts to redeem my own life without living off others. I have so much to say about CSS. They are just loan sharks careless for well being. Oh they're taking a little under 75% of you check and more at times. No problem they got Uncle Frankenstein Sam on there side. They take forever after its way too late and your with out a home and its just down hill from there cause there's nothing for a man to do after that. I always will say CSS is up to no good and need to c there way out. once there in they don't get out and will be like a leach straining the relationship to the family and making it unbarable and disgusting where the family just brakes and becomes a thousand pieces washing up on the coast of America. I don't believe there would be so many dead beat dads if the dead beat mothers weren't given all the power. it's a two way street and it's TRUE I guarantee it with out fail.

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Look
by: Rjamison331

Look at this, While I was going through my emails. The 10 o clock news annouced Mayor Bloomberg hired a sherrif to go after child support and liens on people. Like I said we need to get a petition going against the system in order to break through this monsterouse down grading system, and he can take the case to Appellate Court.

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