Amanda, IL

by AMANDA
(ILLINOIS)

My husband I started dating in 1997. He was the father of a young, adorable son. He and I bonded instantly! Since then, I have helped to raise his son, and his son currently lives with us. We married in 1998 and have been happily married since then. We have adopted a daughter and had a daughter together. We are happy, healthy and love all our children!


In 2000, when our son started Kindergarten, we decided it was time for him to have a permanent home, rather than the split 50/50 time that was happening previously. The child's mother agreed to allow him to live with us for a year, then he could decide where he wanted to live, with her or us. We took it upon ourselves to go to court. First, we asked if the mother would be willing to voluntarily let him live with us, as he started school, established friends, and we did not move often. Obviously, this was a resounding "no". I can live with that. I would not want my child to think that I simply "gave" him to his father. Long story short, we were awarded residential custodianship in 2001. At that time, the mother was paying us support in the amount of $275.00 biweekly, as ordered by the court. We DID not ask for child support as part of the plea of the court. We were reserving that right for future reference if we needed it. However, according to state law in IL, the non-custodial parent must pay 20% of their NET income for support.

Well.....the mother remarried and quit working for the government agency she was employed at the beginning of the court case. She up and quit, so that she did not have to pay as much in support. Then she learned she was expecting. The court actually ABATED her support order until she returned to work. When she did in fact return to work, she returned to a "different" job, doing customer service over the phone for a reduction in her pay at 25% of what she used to bring home. Why? So that she did not have to pay my husband. We are talking 10 years later, and she has paid that reduced amount since then. In late 2007 we contacted the State Disbursement Unit to assist in collecting her payments, as she would be late, forget, etc. They have been collecting this for us since then, and now we have asked for a modification, as she will not pay for anything extra, such as school fees, medical, dental, extracirrcicular, etc. Now the court states that she is allowed to have deductions from her income, such as child care for her new children from her second marriage. I calculated taking 25% of her income away for her taxes and insurance and she should be paying double. I do NOT THINK IT IS FAIR THAT SHE IS GETTING leniency, because she is a woman. If the situation is reversed, my husband would be required to pay his 20% flat, no considerations for any other situation. Can anyone help me to get this issue resolved? The SDU is not interested in hearing this from myself or my husband. And we cannot go back to previous years to collect what she made from 2005 to present. DOES ANYONE ELSE THINK THIS IS UNFAIR?????

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