At The Other End
(St. Paul, MN)
So yeah, I guess I am a deadbeat dad. I have 2 kids and am ordered to pay 1100 dollars a month. My order was dated to start Feb 1st of 2011 and the order wasnt even postmarked until Feb. 25th of 2011 so I was already a month behind, on top of that they had the wrong employer listed so by the time it was all sorted out, I was already 6 weeks behind.
I do construction, but not typical construction. I dont have a busy time like in the summer. I cant predict when I will be working because it is different all the time. My income varies from week to week, and my order was based off a particularly good year I had while married to my ex. Since the economy has been in the tank, I am broke. While not working my unemployment doesnt even cover what I am ordered to pay each week. so while not working i fall further and further behind.
I am beyond broke. I am 31, have had to move back in with my father, cant afford to put gas in my truck to get to work, cant afford my medication, one which I need to live, cant afford the 7000 dollars I am behind in medical bills, so now I cant go back to my doctor to get the perscriptions I need to live.
Yet my ex works part time, goes to school part time, and drives a new car. Something is wrong here. I dont even get to see my kids that often. If I'm working I cant see them, and when I am not working I dont have the money to see them. Because they live about 500 miles away. Now that I am so far behind on my child support I dont dare even go into their home state because of fear I will be arrested. Whats wrong with this picture? I am trying to pay.
Yet I have been driven into poverty by my order. But yet I make too much money to qualify for any sort of help. I am to the point I will just stop working and I would be better off in jail. I feel bad for you moms that are only getting 100 or 200 dollars a month and still cant get money out of your ex. Men like that disgust me. But I am starting to understand why many men dont pay, The only time I have been able to afford to make any payments is if I am working for a new contractor and they havent gotten the support order yet. I have even gotten to the point I have been looking at renouncing my citizenship in the US and immigrating to another country.
Sad, but I know that my kids will be taken care of. But its not going to do my kids much good if I am dead which is what is going to happen to me if this continues. If I cant afford my insulin, as a type 1 diabetic, it will kill me. If I wasnt on such strong antidepressants I would have killed myself over this. I am broker than broke, filing for bankruptcy wont even help me with all the bills I have. Something has to change in the system. On one end we have deadbeat dads, who actually are only a small percentage, and on the other we have dads like me who make too much money for help but are nearly homeless or have to depend on others to live because of all the support they have to pay.
I am to the point that I am either going to quit working and go to jail, leave the country, make a deal for extremely lowered child support and sign away all my rights to the kids, or off myself. either way, my kids will see me as much as they do now, which is never.