We were friends but never even a couple. It was just one of those things (unplanned blessing). Before my son was born we agreed to not involve anyone else in our business. Since then she has been nothing but irresponsible. We earn about equal income and I’m guessing about equal debt (then). First I provided transportation for her when she had non and was on leave (she later gave the car away). As soon as she went back to work she, bought another car and further put herself in debt. She was getting evicted and had to live with her mother who was not in a stable home and already overwhelmed with her sister and her kids. I decided to let my son and her live in my home as I was moving closer to my job. I only ask that she keep the lights on, a phone, and gas. I pay the notes and water bill; I buy all my sons clothes, shoes and anything else he needs. It has been seven months and I find that there has been no gas in the house since she moved in; it’s the end of Jan. I only found out because my son was admitted to the ER with a 105-fever b4 Christmas. Her attitude has changed, we normally didn't communicate unless it involved the child but now I can tell that her deadbeat freinds and the things they go through with their deadbeat babydaddys have influenced her. I've tried everything within reason to make life better for her and my son; I'm at my limit (for her). I've asked coworkers about legitimizing for joint custody, and child support. I know it's coming, I know the courts may not favor me. Open to any options.
My suggestion is to get everything in writing. If you are giving her a place to stay with her only obligations write a contract that says so & it it signed by both parties & notorized. I would suggest you talk to an attorney before she does, because she will. You can also go to your county court house & go to the law library to see how to fill out forms for filing. Try not to get the child support recovery involved if at all possible. The courts don't always look at who makes the most they also looks at who is more stable. You could file for custody yourself if you think that's best. Nothing ever says a woman has to have custody of the children.
Jan 21, 2009 Rating
Not much you can do by: Anonymous
All I can say is save all your receipts and be prepared for the worse. These agencies will calculate how much you should have been paying all along. Anyhow, a judge will make the final decision based on your net income. technically, you're not obligated to pay anything until a judge says so, but as long as you can show them you have contributed to the care of your son, they won't go as hard on you. If you don't give anything, bet they will back date the amount as far as they can. As far as any agreement: Understand most people with kids never stick to that agreement; especially when others have influence over them. Remember, unless the Judge signs an order, verbal agreements don't mean crap!
