Baby Momma Drama...

Baby Momma Drama...

by Ya Babi New Mommi
(Wilmington, DE)

Well My fiance' babys momma... is holding the fact that he has moved on and found someone he really wants to be with...ME! And she wont let him see his kids. He hasnt been able to pay child support because we have bills, and things we need to pay for as well. he currently cant find a stable job because of where the econmy stands right now. We have court on Thursday 9-11 and I need help, so he dosent go to jail. Why should him or I or both of us pay when she still wont allow him to see his sons.

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Baby Momma Drama...

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Oct 31, 2008
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Continued
by: Penny G.

Continued....
I don't know much about New Jersey Laws, but I do know a little about Indiana Laws and some on Illinois as well. Dead Beats are both male and female. I have seen many women have it socked to them just like the men. Where I work, I see this daily. I am a mother of two from a divorce! He doesn't pay support on time, he is almost always behind! Out of 10 years he has paid school book fees once and has bought clothes once. He is supposed to do half of it every year! This year I insisted he help for a change and he did but told me he only has to pay support once a month to keep from going to jail! While this may be true, he doesn't pay a months worth once a month, he is falling farther behind, and is behind enough now in arrears for me to have his tax check and or go to jail. I have been dealing with this for 10 years and even kept him out of jail once. I wont do that again!
My fiance is a single dad of two, his ex doesn't pay support, she doesn't come see the kids, she is in West Illinois and we are in Central Indiana. It is a 4 hour drive! We have to take the kids over there once a month because she is too lazy to work and the judge feels sorry for her. She has no children with her, just a boyfriend, she has no rent (lives in a family owned house) and has no home phone only a trac phone. She was able to buy a newer vehicle and now works making more than I do! We still have to take the kids over there and no support. She doesn't pay a sitter and has let it be known that if the oldest doesn't come see her, that the youngest cant come...she doesn't want to take care of her on her own and doesn't want to pay a sitter! She had them removed from her by the state of Illinois 8 years ago...the oldest is getting to a point he doesn't want to see her, he has teenage things to do and so the youngest does without seeing her too! She never calls unless she wants money. Money that is not owed to her, she just wants it and, half the time when she calls for money, she isn't interested in talking to the kids! We have to deal with teary eyed children wondering why their other parent doesn't come around or seem to care. While the other parent, does as they please and happy to do so!
So you see, both sexes are dead beats, and it is easy for both to slide by without getting into trouble. My ex and my fiances ex are both going to be sorry, when these kids grow up and have them figured out. Our Teenagers are already figuring this out. We don't talk to them about it, I answer questions as honestly as I can without dragging either parent through the mud.
Regardless of the situation, This guy needs to get a job and take care of his children, its not only the custodial parents job! It takes two to make a baby and two should be there for that baby and raise it as well!

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Oct 31, 2008
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Submitted by: Penny G.

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Continued.... I don't know much about New Jersey Laws, but I do know a little about Indiana Laws and some on Illinois as well. Dead Beats are both male and female. I have seen many women have it socked to them just like the men. Where I work, I see this daily. I am a mother of two from a divorce! He doesn't pay support on time, he is almost always behind! Out of 10 years he has paid school book fees once and has bought clothes once. He is supposed to do half of it every year! This year I insisted he help for a change and he did but told me he only has to pay support once a month to keep from going to jail! While this may be true, he doesn't pay a months worth once a month, he is falling farther behind, and is behind enough now in arrears for me to have his tax check and or go to jail. I have been dealing with this for 10 years and even kept him out of jail once. I wont do that again! My fiance is a single dad of two, his ex doesn't pay support, she doesn't come see the kids, she is in West Illinois and we are in Central Indiana. It is a 4 hour drive! We have to take the kids over there once a month because she is too lazy to work and the judge feels sorry for her. She has no children with her, just a boyfriend, she has no rent (lives in a family owned house) and has no home phone only a trac phone. She was able to buy a newer vehicle and now works making more than I do! We still have to take the kids over there and no support. She doesn't pay a sitter and has let it be known that if the oldest doesn't come see her, that the youngest cant come...she doesn't want to take care of her on her own and doesn't want to pay a sitter! She had them removed from her by the state of Illinois 8 years ago...the oldest is getting to a point he doesn't want to see her, he has teenage things to do and so the youngest does without seeing her too! She never calls unless she wants money. Money that is not owed to her, she just wants it and, half the time when she calls for money, she isn't interested in talking to the kids! We have to deal with teary eyed children wondering why their other parent doesn't come around or seem to care. While the other parent, does as they please and happy to do so! So you see, both sexes are dead beats, and it is easy for both to slide by without getting into trouble. My ex and my fiances ex are both going to be sorry, when these kids grow up and have them figured out. Our Teenagers are already figuring this out. We don't talk to them about it, I answer questions as honestly as I can without dragging either parent through the mud. Regardless of the situation, This guy needs to get a job and take care of his children, its not only the custodial parents job! It takes two to make a baby and two should be there for that baby and raise it as well!

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Oct 31, 2008
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Good Point But.......
by: Penny G.

Yes a child should never be taken from another parent unless that parent is physically, mentally, sexually or verbally abusive to the child or is a convicted felon (and Im not talking about DUI's unless he/she is drinking and driving with the child in the car).
On the other hand. There is no excuse to not have a job unless you are physically or mentally disabled. Her statement was...he cant find a job...now while the economy stinks right now, there are still plenty jobs out there he could find, Burger King stinks but, its better than no money at all.
The person I believe you are referring to is the one where he has 5 kids, well he now has a 6th on the way. You see, this guy gets them pregnant, tells them he loves them and then finds more women to lie to while he is supposedly only with the one with the child. Then he leaves that woman for a new one, he just wants someone to take care of him. He has never paid child support and I have personally known him to have jobs making $500 to $1000 a week bring home! Good jobs. Then child support catches up with him and he quits and stays unemployed while another woman takes care of him! None of these women are keeping him from seeing his children, he chooses not to see them. His kids try to call him and he wont answer the phone, and if he does, he screams at the kids, trying to make things their fault. He doesn't deserve to have children! He is screwing them up.
Now back on the subject of the woman who started all this about her lazy boyfriend. This man is not disabled in anyway. She stated he doesn't work and cant find a job! He can find a job! He just cant find a job that pays what he wants, and he cant find a job that will allow him to sit at home and sponge off of whomever is taking care of him. Yes his kids should get to see him. I don't think they need to be around a new girlfriend just yet, so he should see them on his time and his time only (just him and the kids). But, just because she isn't letting him see the kids doesn't mean the kids should have to go hungry, do without the things they need and some of the things that they want. The kids done nothing yet, they are a pawn in this game! He should be the bigger man and pay his support, while he is not, he is allowing the Mother to let the kids know he doesn't pay and is a dead beat, and is only screwing up how his kids will feel about him in the future! He needs to be a man and do whats right for those kids...if he doesn't who will?!??!The State? Well as long as he is drawing welfare due to not working,and due to no support she will be drawing welfare as well...so not only the state is taking care of him and the kids, so are we working people, that's where part of our taxes go! So the world has bigger economy problems!

to be continued.....

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Oct 31, 2008
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Submitted by: Penny G.

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Yes a child should never be taken from another parent unless that parent is physically, mentally, sexually or verbally abusive to the child or is a convicted felon (and Im not talking about DUI's unless he/she is drinking and driving with the child in the car). On the other hand. There is no excuse to not have a job unless you are physically or mentally disabled. Her statement was...he cant find a job...now while the economy stinks right now, there are still plenty jobs out there he could find, Burger King stinks but, its better than no money at all. The person I believe you are referring to is the one where he has 5 kids, well he now has a 6th on the way. You see, this guy gets them pregnant, tells them he loves them and then finds more women to lie to while he is supposedly only with the one with the child. Then he leaves that woman for a new one, he just wants someone to take care of him. He has never paid child support and I have personally known him to have jobs making $500 to $1000 a week bring home! Good jobs. Then child support catches up with him and he quits and stays unemployed while another woman takes care of him! None of these women are keeping him from seeing his children, he chooses not to see them. His kids try to call him and he wont answer the phone, and if he does, he screams at the kids, trying to make things their fault. He doesn't deserve to have children! He is screwing them up. Now back on the subject of the woman who started all this about her lazy boyfriend. This man is not disabled in anyway. She stated he doesn't work and cant find a job! He can find a job! He just cant find a job that pays what he wants, and he cant find a job that will allow him to sit at home and sponge off of whomever is taking care of him. Yes his kids should get to see him. I don't think they need to be around a new girlfriend just yet, so he should see them on his time and his time only (just him and the kids). But, just because she isn't letting him see the kids doesn't mean the kids should have to go hungry, do without the things they need and some of the things that they want. The kids done nothing yet, they are a pawn in this game! He should be the bigger man and pay his support, while he is not, he is allowing the Mother to let the kids know he doesn't pay and is a dead beat, and is only screwing up how his kids will feel about him in the future! He needs to be a man and do whats right for those kids...if he doesn't who will?!??!The State? Well as long as he is drawing welfare due to not working,and due to no support she will be drawing welfare as well...so not only the state is taking care of him and the kids, so are we working people, that's where part of our taxes go! So the world has bigger economy problems! to be continued.....

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Oct 30, 2008
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GET A CLUE HONEY
by: Anonymous

I AGREE WITH THE MAJORITY HE NEEDS TO PAY CHILD SUPPORT REGARDLESS OF THE SITUATION. I REALLY DO BELIEVE THAT HE'S LYING TO YOU ABOUT WANTING TO SEE HIS CHILD BECAUSE I HAD ONE JUST LIKE HIM. I TELL YOU THIS MOVE ON FIND SOMEONE BETTER AND STOP BELIEVING EVERYTHING HE TELLS YOU. YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF FOR MAKING SUCH A COMMENT.

Oct 30, 2008
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RESPONSE TO LAST COMMENT MADE
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I GOTTA TAKE A SHOT AT THE IGNORANCE DISPLAYED ON THE LAST COMMENT MADE. DEAD-BEAT DADS ARE DADS WHO PURPOSELY LOSE THEIR JOBS IN ORDER TO SKIP CHILD-SUPPORT PAYMENTS HOW CAN THE LAST PERSON COMMENTING ASSUME THE PARENTS SITUATION WITHOUT PROOF, RELAX U DO NOT KNOW THIS COUPLE. IM FROM NEW JERSEY AND ALL MY FRIENDS HAVE THE SAME ISSUES THAT I HAVE RELATING CHILD SUPPORT/BABY MAMA-DRAMA OR WHATNOT, THE BOTTOM LINE IS IF YOU ARE A FATHER OF CHILDREN YOU ARE SCREWED BY STATE AND GOVERNMENT WHO OFTER DISCRIMINATES AGAINST THE MALE, AND FOR THAT PERSON BELOW HOW COULD YOU NOT LET THE FATHER SEE THEIR CHILDREN YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED, WHAT DO THE CHILDREN HAVE TO DO WITH HIM BEING OUT OF WORK. YOU ARE SHADY IGNORANT AND NEED SOME LIGHT PROBABLY AN ANGRY SINGLE MOM. AND I SAY SINGLE MOM LITERALLY, I KNOW WOMEN IN THIS STATE WHO HAVE BROKEN RELATIONSHIPS IN ORDER TO GET THE CHILD SUPPORT MONEY OUT OF THE FATHERS AND IT HAS BITTEN THEM IN THE ASS. IN FACT I KNOW THIS GIRL WHO BROKE UP WITH HIS BABY'S FATHER TO GET HIS CHILD SUPPORT MONEY AFTER HE FURNISHED AN APT FOR HER AND HIS KIDS, GOT HER A CAR AND LOVED HER AND HIS FAMILY VERY MUCH, YET SHE HAD A PLAN ALL ALONG, SHE TOOK HIS CHILD SUPPORT MONEY AND CURRENTLY GETS $$ DOES NOT SPEND IT ON HER CHILDREN AND RECENTLY GOT INVOLVED WITH SOMEONE ELSE WHO MOVED INTO THE APT. AND PAYS HER RENT AND ALL HER BILLS. THE STATE REGULATIONS DONT CARE ABOUT THESE KIND OF SITUATIONS AND NO ONE SPEAKS OUT. MOTHERS ARE LITERALLY RIPPING OFF THE STATE, THE FATHER GETS SCREWED AS USUAL, AND THE END RESULT IS HORRENDOUS FOR THE CHILDREN, SHAME ON THESE PEOPLE LIKE THE LAST COMMENTER ON THIS PAGE.

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Oct 30, 2008
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I GOTTA TAKE A SHOT AT THE IGNORANCE DISPLAYED ON THE LAST COMMENT MADE. DEAD-BEAT DADS ARE DADS WHO PURPOSELY LOSE THEIR JOBS IN ORDER TO SKIP CHILD-SUPPORT PAYMENTS HOW CAN THE LAST PERSON COMMENTING ASSUME THE PARENTS SITUATION WITHOUT PROOF, RELAX U DO NOT KNOW THIS COUPLE. IM FROM NEW JERSEY AND ALL MY FRIENDS HAVE THE SAME ISSUES THAT I HAVE RELATING CHILD SUPPORT/BABY MAMA-DRAMA OR WHATNOT, THE BOTTOM LINE IS IF YOU ARE A FATHER OF CHILDREN YOU ARE SCREWED BY STATE AND GOVERNMENT WHO OFTER DISCRIMINATES AGAINST THE MALE, AND FOR THAT PERSON BELOW HOW COULD YOU NOT LET THE FATHER SEE THEIR CHILDREN YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED, WHAT DO THE CHILDREN HAVE TO DO WITH HIM BEING OUT OF WORK. YOU ARE SHADY IGNORANT AND NEED SOME LIGHT PROBABLY AN ANGRY SINGLE MOM. AND I SAY SINGLE MOM LITERALLY, I KNOW WOMEN IN THIS STATE WHO HAVE BROKEN RELATIONSHIPS IN ORDER TO GET THE CHILD SUPPORT MONEY OUT OF THE FATHERS AND IT HAS BITTEN THEM IN THE ASS. IN FACT I KNOW THIS GIRL WHO BROKE UP WITH HIS BABY'S FATHER TO GET HIS CHILD SUPPORT MONEY AFTER HE FURNISHED AN APT FOR HER AND HIS KIDS, GOT HER A CAR AND LOVED HER AND HIS FAMILY VERY MUCH, YET SHE HAD A PLAN ALL ALONG, SHE TOOK HIS CHILD SUPPORT MONEY AND CURRENTLY GETS $$ DOES NOT SPEND IT ON HER CHILDREN AND RECENTLY GOT INVOLVED WITH SOMEONE ELSE WHO MOVED INTO THE APT. AND PAYS HER RENT AND ALL HER BILLS. THE STATE REGULATIONS DONT CARE ABOUT THESE KIND OF SITUATIONS AND NO ONE SPEAKS OUT. MOTHERS ARE LITERALLY RIPPING OFF THE STATE, THE FATHER GETS SCREWED AS USUAL, AND THE END RESULT IS HORRENDOUS FOR THE CHILDREN, SHAME ON THESE PEOPLE LIKE THE LAST COMMENTER ON THIS PAGE.

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Oct 05, 2008
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YOU THINK she is withholding the child
by: Anonymous

Sweetie...get a clue...my ex has FIVE kids with THREE women..two of his children are mine. NONE of us have EVER withheld visitation for his lack of payment of child support YET he TELLS everyone that we have...bottom line is that he is a deadbeat dad that cares NOTHING for his children...he has a new wife and has told her that none of us ALLOW him to see them or talk to them but bottom line is HE NEVER calls or COMES to visit. SO while you THINK he is on the up and up and that he CANT see them....think on this for a minute...what if he is LYING TO YOU? What if she really is wanting him to visit but he is choosing not to....also think of this (because I didnt at the time and now want to warn YOU)...what if you two have children....then he leaves....what makes YOU THINK FOR ONE MINUTE that YOUR CHILDREN will be treated any differently???? Get a clue honey....men dont change...and if he is like this with a child now...YOUR CHILDREN will be NO DIFFERENT......

Oct 05, 2008
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ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!?!?
by: Anonymous

The kids have to eat every week. They have to have clothes and shoes every week. The clothes and shoes that they can grow out of sometimes in a months time, they need child care which cost $100 to $150 a child a week, they have to have school supplies, school clothes, you have to pay school book fees, you have to have heat for them and lights so they are warm and can see to do their homework, you have to have groceries, not to mention the money the cafeteria charges for school lunches. Dont forget water that you need to keep their little bodies hydrated. The heat, electricity and water are things you need to provide meals with. Mom has to have a car and gas money to get back and forth to work with so she can make up for what the dead beat dad isnt doing plus her portion on providing for the children. The kids have field trips several times a year (these cost). Once they get into school the teacher sends them home with a list CONSTANTLY letting the custodial parent that there are yet more school supplies needed. I have two children, it cost me $25 a week to feed them school lunches and costs me $900 every August to put them in school. These kids also have Birthdays and Holidays they enjoy Feb is Valentines day (every loving parent wants to let their child know they are loved on this day with a gift) You have Easter (the easter bunny gets credit for this) You have Halloween (costumes are NOT cheap) you have Christmas (Santa gets this credit) and you have Birthdays (ahh at last credit for mom).
You are foolish to think this is ok. You see I was foolish once. I married a man who used excuses as to why he didnt see his son or pay support...Just like you I bought into it and felt sorry for him. Then we figured out a way to see his son. But he didnt want to...why..because he would have to get a job and keep it to pay lawyer fees and was afraid of back support. SO, instead of fighting to see his son. He decided it wasnt worth it to him. He drank more and his alcoholism got worse. He wouldnt hold down a job, always looking for fights at work and everywhere he went. And he put me and my kids through some terrible stuff. He didnt love us, he didnt love him self and he didnt love his child. After two grueling years I left him and left him everything but my clothes and my kids and their clothes and personal items. He still lost everything and only cared about himself. A man will NEVER love you like you need to be loved if he cant even love his child the way he should!
You must be childless yourself to believe it is right to make a child suffer! A loving parent knows this is not the way to be. WAKE UP!

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Oct 05, 2008
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Submitted by: Anonymous

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The kids have to eat every week. They have to have clothes and shoes every week. The clothes and shoes that they can grow out of sometimes in a months time, they need child care which cost $100 to $150 a child a week, they have to have school supplies, school clothes, you have to pay school book fees, you have to have heat for them and lights so they are warm and can see to do their homework, you have to have groceries, not to mention the money the cafeteria charges for school lunches. Dont forget water that you need to keep their little bodies hydrated. The heat, electricity and water are things you need to provide meals with. Mom has to have a car and gas money to get back and forth to work with so she can make up for what the dead beat dad isnt doing plus her portion on providing for the children. The kids have field trips several times a year (these cost). Once they get into school the teacher sends them home with a list CONSTANTLY letting the custodial parent that there are yet more school supplies needed. I have two children, it cost me $25 a week to feed them school lunches and costs me $900 every August to put them in school. These kids also have Birthdays and Holidays they enjoy Feb is Valentines day (every loving parent wants to let their child know they are loved on this day with a gift) You have Easter (the easter bunny gets credit for this) You have Halloween (costumes are NOT cheap) you have Christmas (Santa gets this credit) and you have Birthdays (ahh at last credit for mom). You are foolish to think this is ok. You see I was foolish once. I married a man who used excuses as to why he didnt see his son or pay support...Just like you I bought into it and felt sorry for him. Then we figured out a way to see his son. But he didnt want to...why..because he would have to get a job and keep it to pay lawyer fees and was afraid of back support. SO, instead of fighting to see his son. He decided it wasnt worth it to him. He drank more and his alcoholism got worse. He wouldnt hold down a job, always looking for fights at work and everywhere he went. And he put me and my kids through some terrible stuff. He didnt love us, he didnt love him self and he didnt love his child. After two grueling years I left him and left him everything but my clothes and my kids and their clothes and personal items. He still lost everything and only cared about himself. A man will NEVER love you like you need to be loved if he cant even love his child the way he should! You must be childless yourself to believe it is right to make a child suffer! A loving parent knows this is not the way to be. WAKE UP!

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Oct 04, 2008
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Its hard but its not fair either!
by: Tony

Your boyfriend should be allowed to see his child if he has a job or not. However the law in most states does not care about unempolyment the economy or any of that! He will go to JAIL if he does not pay his child support regardless of what his ex does as far a visitation goes. Thats a seperate matter. He will have to take her to court to attend to her not keeping up with her end of the bargain. Its sad but parents who don't allow visitation typically get away with it! They should be meet with the same force as parents who don't pay their child support. It is totally unfair,but that is how it goes. He has got to start working somewhere....and I'm not saying that its going to be easy to find a job but if he wants to maintain his freedom he will have to find somebody to hire him doing something. Child support is a necessary evil just like cops, lawyers, politians etc......Some women use childsupport to make an ex boyfriend or spouse suffer when it only hurts the child. Its no way that suspending a drivers license or lowering a person credit score for lack of payment will help them improve on there payment history.On the flip side what if he had custody of his child. He would have to find a way to provide then so he still does, just by force that is excessive in most situations. The old saying it is cheaper to keep her comes to mind because the laws are not designed for you to have a good life. The law is designed for the child to get paid which is fine however child support is typically set too high on a consistent basis. Yes. One month you may need $800 bucks. The next you may only need $500 to take care of the kids and that is never accouted for but at any rate a income is his only solution!

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Oct 04, 2008
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Submitted by: Tony

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Your boyfriend should be allowed to see his child if he has a job or not. However the law in most states does not care about unempolyment the economy or any of that! He will go to JAIL if he does not pay his child support regardless of what his ex does as far a visitation goes. Thats a seperate matter. He will have to take her to court to attend to her not keeping up with her end of the bargain. Its sad but parents who don't allow visitation typically get away with it! They should be meet with the same force as parents who don't pay their child support. It is totally unfair,but that is how it goes. He has got to start working somewhere....and I'm not saying that its going to be easy to find a job but if he wants to maintain his freedom he will have to find somebody to hire him doing something. Child support is a necessary evil just like cops, lawyers, politians etc......Some women use childsupport to make an ex boyfriend or spouse suffer when it only hurts the child. Its no way that suspending a drivers license or lowering a person credit score for lack of payment will help them improve on there payment history.On the flip side what if he had custody of his child. He would have to find a way to provide then so he still does, just by force that is excessive in most situations. The old saying it is cheaper to keep her comes to mind because the laws are not designed for you to have a good life. The law is designed for the child to get paid which is fine however child support is typically set too high on a consistent basis. Yes. One month you may need $800 bucks. The next you may only need $500 to take care of the kids and that is never accouted for but at any rate a income is his only solution!

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Oct 02, 2008
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GIVE ME A BREAK!
by: Penny Garrity

That child did not split them up or put the two of you together, just because the mother is making that child suffer because of his father moving on, doesn't give anyone to take food out of that kids mouth, or clothes off of his back! Heat to keep him warm, water to keep him from dehydration and the list goes on and on! There is NO excuse for a person to not work unless they are disabled, and by disabled I mean truely not disabled..not too lazy to work so they use a crick in their neck as an excuse, ANYONE can work, and if they are truely disabled, then they can have their social security or unemployment checks garnished. Tell that dead beat man of yours to get off his lazy dead beat butt, and get a job and take care of his kid! Why would you want someone that doesnt care anymore for his kid than that? If he doesnt care enough for his kid to take care of him, what makes you think you will ever measure up?
Lord, get a clue and think about whats important .....this drama is useless and not cute, he will wind up in jail if he dont pay and he deserves whatever he gets!

Oct 01, 2008
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Its not see child and then child support
by: Anonymous

Him not seeing his kids had nothing to do with him paying child support that child still needs things whether he sees them or not

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Baby Momma Drama...

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