Baby Momma Drama...

by Ya Babi New Mommi
(Wilmington, DE)

Well My fiance' babys momma... is holding the fact that he has moved on and found someone he really wants to be with...ME! And she wont let him see his kids. He hasnt been able to pay child support because we have bills, and things we need to pay for as well. he currently cant find a stable job because of where the econmy stands right now. We have court on Thursday 9-11 and I need help, so he dosent go to jail. Why should him or I or both of us pay when she still wont allow him to see his sons.

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Apr 18, 2012
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bs momma drama
by: confused step mom

ok so my husband has a 3 yr old who technically is not his, he signed papers cuz her sperm donor was only 19 and not ready to be a man and she needed a father. Well recently both me and him lost our jobs and fell behind on CS ok what's funny is that it's only 125 a month but she still refuses to let us talk to her because she's not getting anything. It has gotten to the point where she is now calling our village police making false accusations of abuse and nonsense even though we have not seen or talked to his daughter in months. We have followed procedures and written multiple letters to the court and keep being told that we have to wait. I know CS and visitations have nothing to do with each other but I don't know what else to do, basically I just don't understand how someone can do this to a man even though he didn't have to take responsibility but yet he did. I just don't know what else to do please help someone

Jan 16, 2010
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look
by: a man out the (504)

I pay child support have been for the last 2 years and my son is 5 I have not seen him in 3 years why now do I have to pay child support you ask. cause my sons mom has not gotting over me even tho she have a "boyfriend" and two years ago when I told her I was planning to get married that's when it happend. try fillig for custody and let the so call blind law do its thing. You'll see its not so blind!! Its all for the baby mommas trust me. I think if child support and visitaion goes hand and hand you'll see a lot less cases.

Aug 08, 2009
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it sucks
by: Anonymous

i understand what ur saying. my boyfriends baby mom won't let him see his kid either. it makes me so mad cause it hurts him not being able to see his daughter. and i know how he feels. i have 2 daughters. one lives with me. the other with her father. i don't get support for the one that lives with me, but he rarely tries to see her anyways. i've taken care of her by myself for 11 yrs. if he doesn't wanna see her well then he's just hurting himself. i'm used to him not payin his child support. he never has. as soon as they take the first payment out of his check he quits. as far as my youngest. her dad refuses to let me see her. AND I HAVE LEGAL CUSTODY!!! but i live in indiana and they live in texas. our custody agreement doesn't allow either one of us to move her out of the counties we resided in without the others permission. so since he refuses to let me see her i refuse to give him anything. the last time i gave him money he said he needed it for her tuition. i sent him 400 dollars to find out a week later he pulled her outta school 2 weeks before he asked for the money. he also makes as much in one day as i make in 2 weeks. so in light of all these circumstances i don't feel i owe him anything. he refuses to ask me to buy her stuff just wants the money. he's a single guy. has a car he owns (that i bought him), lives with his parents. but wants me to send him money for his truck payment.

Apr 18, 2009
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did it again.
by: eahasang

Again I read a lot of these comments and can access them, since a lot pertain to me.

What gives a mother, a mother the right to deny a father from seeing there children? I't took two people to create them, so I feel that there should have equal rights. You want child support, but I cant see my children, and i buy a cell phone for my youngest daughter and pay the bill and you take it from her and ban me from talking to her. What GIVES YOU THE RIGHT?

Woman can pretend there sick, they cant function. But if your out at parties, ski trips and living it up your ass can work and get a job. You can. If a woman cheats and can be dirty like a man, she in turn should pay for her consequences. She should. There are hundrends, probably thousands of good dads out here that suffer, that suffer in there pockets. Why it is what the court order said to do. It's appauling, it truly is.

Now here is a good question. In these trying times and tribulations if a dad/father is sick mentally and physically becasue of what he or is going through can the father work or provide child support for his children if his mind state is not right? You know the answer and its NO. So again, woman who like to pressure there children's father, and bring them to boiling point where the boiling wont stop will lose out in the end. We as men get tired, tired especially when you have a nat that keeps coming near your ear and buzzing, and buzzing around.

If a dad pays child support and has a good support system as a fiancee who is a soul mate. The childrens mother should not hate, should not. I know i dont care what my ex does, or whatever, because its about my new life and my future wife.

So with that again, you woman remember especially in these days when its hard to find or keep a job due to the economy be grateful that you still have a child's father who in turn works, and still provides for his children and especially doesnt cry when he has to do it.

Apr 16, 2009
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To the ones that feel this women should get over herself!
by: Anonymous

I READ THE COMMENTS LEFT ON THIS PAGE, AND ALL SHE REALLY WANTED WAS SOME ADVICE BEFORE COURT, I FEEL IF A CUSTODIAL PARENT WON'T LET THE NON CUSTODIAL PARENT SEE THE CHILD(REN), THEN THE CUSTODIAL PARENT SOULDN'T GET A FUCKING DIME IN CHILD SUPPORT!!!! I UNDERSTAND THAT THIS ECONOMEY IS TUFF ON EVERYONE BECAUSE MY HUSBAND AND I ARE SRUGGLING TO, WE PAY OVER 1500 A MONTH IN CHILD SUPPORT FOR 3 CHILDREN AND HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO SEE THEM SINCE JANUARY! MAYBE IF YOU GREEDY CUSTODIAL PARENTS GET OFF YOUR ASS AND AND THINK FOR A SECOND... HEY THE ECONMEY IS IN THE CRAPPER RIGHT NOW IF I WENT IN AND MODIFID IT TO AN AMOUNT THAT THE NON CUSODIAL PARENT COULD AFFORD UNTIL THEY GET BACK ON THEIR FEET THEN YOU ALL WOULDN'T HAVE PROBLEMS OF CHILD SUPPORT NOT BEING PAYED!!!! CUSTODIAL PARENTS NEED TO GET OVER THEMSELVES ALL YOU ARE ARE WANTING IS A HAND OUT! POOR POOR YOU MY HUSBAND OR WIFE LEFT ME, I'M GOING TO MAKE THEM SUFFER AND PAY AN OUTRAGOUS AMOUNT IN CHILD SUPPORT!!!! GET OVER IT! I TIRED OF YOU CUSTODIAL PARENTS AND YOUR BS GET ON WITH YOUR LIVES THE NON CUSTODIAL PARENT DOESN'T WANT YOU ANY MORE!

Apr 05, 2009
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Get over yourself!
by: Anonymous

Oh baby.....so sorry about your bills, but his kids deserve montary support. Get over yourself and let that man do what he's supposed to do. If he can't even take care of his kids, do you REALLY think he is going to take care of you once the "newness" wears off. Be for real!

Mar 22, 2009
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Serious help needed
by: DJ

I have a situation. I need some serious advice. I have a son in Georgia with a woman that I was involved with. My son is now 2 years old. When my son was born, I didn't even try to get a DNA test. I did everything a normal father would do for their child. I guess I was stupid. I have been paying her $700 without court order. This to say it's about 26% of my monthly income. I am not worried about the money as i believe it would serve for a better purpose. We agreed to not let the legal system involved and go our different ways. But Lately, she has been asking for more while denying me the right to see my son and it is hard for me to see me as I am now living in North Carolina and my son in another state. Basically it is impossible to have a conversation with her about the little without her throwing herself in the middle. I am now tired of dealing with her and need some advice on what to do to make her go away. I truly love the little boy. I am thinking about taking a DNA and go legal but I am scared the result will find that I am not the biological father. That would break my heart. And yes I have doubt sometime and like I said before i was stupid and had no knowledge of all this. So I need to know what to do. and what will happen if I am not the father. Will I get all my money back from the woman? Thank you in advance for your advices.

Mar 11, 2009
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u suck..nd so does he,as a man and a dad
by: Anonymous

u need to grow up he had thoses kids wayyyyyy before you al had thoses bills. NOw i am in asinliar situatioj, but i am the first baby moma who wants absolutely nothing to do with him .. all i want is the chils support.. not even that i want him to spend time with his kids and not let his new wife tell him whwn where and how he can see my kids so he can help her take cae of her four inwhich two do not belong... the continue to have children and neither one of them are workin sooo what u need to do is lay off and make him b a man and take care of the kids u need to have a seat.

Feb 10, 2009
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Mind your own business
by: On a Mission Momma

He still needs to take care of his kids even if he do have bills to pay. Just because you have bills does not mean that the kid should not eat or get new clohtes or school supplies. You need to think about what you say. Now think about this, if the shoe was onthe other foot you would feel the same way. What if he moves on to somebody else ( which will probaly happen soon)and he stops taking of you kids, you would want him to keeping paying child support. Besides he anit even your husband, so you dont have to put up with his situation.

Jan 24, 2009
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Re: to whomever wrote to me
by: Penny Garrity

It is your choice if you pick up the non custodial child on a day that isn't yours. If its her day, then she should figure that out on her own if she needs a sitter. Just because you pay support and see the kid, doesn't mean you have to be lead around by the nose. You have to be firm and put your foot down. My biggest beef on this site are the people who feel they shouldn't have to pay child support or those who try to keep the kids from the non custodial parent...It IS NOT the children fault, don't punish them! If you are paying support regularly and you are seeing your kid and being a good parent, then thats all that should be asked of you. Not to have you as the last minute sitter when the custodial parent sees fit.

Jan 24, 2009
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PENNY G.
by:

WELL MY BABY MOMMA DRAMA NEVER ENDS, PENNY GARRITY DID CLEAR UP SOME THINGS FOR ME, BUT ABOUT PAYING THE KIDS CHILD SUPPORT,BECAUSE THE FATHER WISHES DON'T MATTER, WHEN WE GET CALLS AT THE LAST MINUTE TO PICK UP THE CHILD BECAUSE HER WORK HOURS CHANGE SO FAST, AND THE BABY MOMMA WON'T LET HER OTHER CHILD WHOS 17TEEN PICK UP HIS SISTER BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T WANT THEM TOO. THATS A PROBLEM WITH ME. THE MOM KNOWS WHAT HOURS WE WORK AND ITS NOT A PROBLEM BUT WHEN WE BOTH END UP STAYING AT WORK REAL LATE, ITS UP TO US TO FIND A WAY FOR HER TO GET HOME, AND WE STAY IN TOO DIFFERENT CITY'S. AS LONG AS SHE'S RECIVING HER CHILD SUPPORT MONEY TO PAY FOR RENT SHE DOES NOT CARE. AT LEAST THATS WHAT THE MOM TELLS ME. I FEEL IF YOUR THE PARENT PAYING THE CHILD SUPPORT YOU SHOULD PAY. BUT TO USE THE CHILD TO GET BACK AT THE FATHER BECAUSE THE MOM CAN'T BE WITH HIM. ITS FUNNY CAUSE THEY DON'T TELL YOU IN FAMILY THE MOM WILL USE THE CHILD TO GET WHAT SHE WANTS.

Jan 24, 2009
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Only against one type of girl!!!
by: Anonymous

Don't get me wrong I know what responsibility is I have four children of my own. I had my first daughter at 19 and have worked hard to raise my my girls before i met my husband. I Love my kids dearly and my 6 yr old already knows about where baby's come from. And I will protect them until the very end to make sure there is no underage pregnancy. Because just in case you don't watch the news half of the teenage mothers out there abandon their children or kill them!!! That's all I'm fighting for is at least have the courtesy to not get pregnant for money. And i truly wish we could go back in time to the 30's and before because love was lasting and not temporary and underage pregnancy was unheard of.When family's ate lunch and dinner everyday together. And got married outside of high school, but today's boys and girls today are sometimes too lost to help. But we can only go forward from here!! I just feel that in some cases it isn't right for a dad to support two households when the ex could work herself that's all!! My husband has stepped up to the plate as a wonderful father so deadbeat he is not. We have 2 boys together and he takes care of them and my girls so well. He is everything in a man a girl could want. And we played by the rules and paid his child support on time every month, and they screwed him over. So many times this has happened so I think the Child Support offices should just go to Hell!! Because it will never be about the children!! There are a lot of wonderful parents out there and you sound like one, but not all is well in the land of the free!!

Jan 22, 2009
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To Anonymous
by: Penny Garrity

Literacy has nothing to do with common sense. Kids get themselves in trouble and they can read as well. It has to do with a good upbringing, knowing where your kids are and what they are doing, sure they still slip up and sometimes babies happen, that's where the teenagers parents need to step up and make them do what they need to do...Old enough to play, old enough to pay. If you want to play adult games, you have to act like one too. Maybe teaching your kids and talking to them will help slow this mad process down. If you have children you take care of them, maternal or paternal doesn't matter. They aren't old toys you get sick of and throw in the bottom of the toy box. Wake up, this is about the children, not being self centered! I have four kids in my home, I know where they are at all times and who they are with and what they are doing. All of my kids are teenagers or turning into teenagers. My parents brought me up well and didnt let me run loose, I was 19 when I got married the first time and 22 before I had my first child. I hope my children do the same, if they dont, they will have to work harder to take care of things the way they need taken care of.

Well Said Penny-Holcy

Jan 22, 2009
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To little miss sarah
by: Anonymous

You have no idea the situation I'm talking about. I have walked down that plank!! I know how it feels. I wasn't always married but what about the girls who use the child support money for weed!! These are the kinda girls I'm talking about. You say a guy should put on a condom but what if he is an illiterate teenager that trust the girl when she says I'm on birth control. And what is sad is he bought her the patch. You don't know why i feel this way.. NO NOT ALL WOMAN ARE LIKE THIS I KNOW THAT, BUT THIS ONE is.... When a girl tells you to your face all i wanted was the child support to your face how would you feel? Someday you might have to walk in those shoes think about that. And i know knowing what i know about this girl will do anything to protect my family because she is a no good SK***!!!! And i work 2 jobs and hold down a business just to try to keep food on the table and to keep my husband out of jail. SO wait until you deal with it!!! just hope you are married when it happens!!!

Jan 21, 2009
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To so called 'anonymous'
by: Sarah

Obviously u have no idea what u r talking about . U cant sit there and say its all the womans fault, he can strap on a rubber just as easily as she can. Remember its takes 2 to get pregnant. And how was i supposed to know that years down the road he was gonna become a heroin addict and have drug dealers looking for my daughter and I because he owed them. And then when he finally did get sober he still didn't step up to the plate. Says he is an independent employer and does not file taxes or have traceable income. Has no problem playing 'daddy' to another womans kids. U have no right to judge u dont know these people. So before u start flapping ur jaw about some nonsense, y dont u try taking a walk in our shoes and then see where ur finger points. And just because u r married doesn't always = happily ever after. People like u make me sick. U cant just overgeneralize the situation. If u get nothing else from this reply then get this....NOT EVERYTHING IS ALWAYS BLACK AND WHITE!

Jan 14, 2009
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Reply: Bull S%&#!
by: Penny Garrity

While you are right on many points about people using welfare and children to make money without leaving the house (I hate this too)! What you are not thinking about is those girls who thought the guy loved them and wound up pregnant and he kicked them out on their rears??? The old saying that love is blind is very true....although I do believe these girls should get jobs. There is no excuse for not working unless you are TRULY disabled and unable to work. There are programs for people who want to work and dont make much on their wages that will help pay their child care. It is for people who are trying to take care of their families without sucking the Government dry by sitting on their butts and doing nothing. Remember while they are working their taxes also pay for this (not just ours). We can call these women uneducated or stupid but that would be a bit unfair when the man is totally willing to put them in the position of feeling like they can be trusted only to turn their backs on them and their babies once the damage has been done. Just a little food for thought :)

Jan 14, 2009
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Bull S%&#!
by: Anonymous

I blame the unmarried women. They have the brains to know better then to open there legs without a condom because we all know how men are with that stuff. They should have said no sex without it but they do anyways. So now they sit back and not work just to reap the benefits. But then there are the girls who say I'm on birth control and end up pregnant. America is full of illiterate criminals because of this kind of behavior when is it OK for a 16 y/o to get pregnant. The values in this country are all gone and if the government would stop shelling out funds for unmarried woman then they would stop wanting to get pregnant wouldn't they? Woman would get married later like they did back then, teen pregnancy was unheard of half the time. And kids would grow up happy and loved. All us humans care about is money, now i see why America has the highest crime rate in the world. Why should anyone care about themselves when they feel the whole world hates them. Think about it!

Jan 13, 2009
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Child support question
by: Anonymous

I have a question that I hope someone can answer. I was told that in AZ that if you marry a man who is paying child support once you get married the child support goes up because of the spouses wages. Is this true?

Jan 09, 2009
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Reply: My Childs Father Refuses To Visit Him
by: Penny Garrity

I am stepping up on my soap box again LOL. But on a more serious note.....You can do this. I don't know much about you, your age, living conditions etc...but, If he doesn't want to see the child, then you and the child are probably better off. You can do it, I'm not saying it will be easy but apply for whatever public assistance you can get and work. There are programs that will pay for you daycare, food, clothes, etc. for you and your child. You will feel more accomplished for doing it alone. As I said its going to be hard but, as long as he wants nothing to do with the child then the little one probably would only be more hurt by having him around here and there. Its very confusing for the kids, when the parent doesn't want to be involved and is only there here and there. Its better if they just stay away rather than toying with their emotions.
Good Luck to you.

Jan 08, 2009
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MY CHILD'S FATHER REFUSES TO VISIT HIM
by: Anonymous

MY CHILD'S FATHER REFUSES TO VISIT OUR SON BECAUSE HE'S ANGRY AT ME FOR HAVING HIM. WHAT SHOULD I DO? I CAN'T DO IT ALONE.

Jan 06, 2009
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So Much to learn
by: Penny Garrity

You are right Cassaundra that the father should get to see his children regardless. Not because he deserves to if hes not paying support, but because the children love BOTH parents and should not have to suffer due to financial obligations.......the mother is made to give a run down of what goes out on the child when the child suppport is drawn up, this is called a Child Support Obligation Worksheet. They have to tell what they have coming in and going out, including child care etc. Most generally child support doesn't even cover child care expenses, little on every other expense there are for children. It cost at least $10 a week for lunches at school alone, then you have at least $100 a week in child care expenses, then you have to clothe them, the cheapest you can get one entire outfit is about $30.00 (that is on a clearance rack) and that is not including, socks, shoes, and underwear, pj's, coats etc. Then they have to have heat to stay warm, and food to stay nourished, and water to stay hydrated and then there are lights to read by so they can do their homework. Then you have book fees of $100 for KINDERGARDENERS! Then you have school supplies which always runs $75 to $100 and that is on going all year, you have gym shoes and clothes, and then field trips every time you turn around. As you can well see, the custodial parent gets the short end of the stick, the non custodial only has a certain amount to pay while the custodial parent gets stuck with the remaining fees, bills, needs, etc. So there is your run down of almost every custodial parents financial's and what is being spent on that kid. The average rent is $800.00 a month, then you have $150 on electric, $150 on gas, $75 on water, $10 for school lunches, $100 for groceries and $50 for a phone so the non custodial parent can keep in touch wit the child. When you break this monthly cost down to weekly you it cost about $333.75 a week to take care of one child (not including field trips, clothes that they need due to growing so rapidly and shoes as well...so if your boyfriend isn't paying $200 per child, then he is getting by cheap! I hope this clears things up for you.

Penny Garrity

Jan 06, 2009
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I FEEL YOU
by: CASSAUNDRA

WELL I JUST GOT MARRIED TO A MAN I LOVE TOO MUCH, AND YES HE HAS A BABY MOMMA WHO HAS ALL THE DRAMA. MY HUSBAND DOES PAY CHILD SUPPORT AND HE IS LATE,BEACUSE WE HAVE BILLS. BUT THE CHILD GETS EVERYTHING SHE NEEDS. IF IT COMES FROM THE FATHER ARE THE WIFE. I FEEL LIKE ITS UNFAIR BECAUSE IF YOUR PAYING CHILD SUPPORT AND THE OTHER PARENT IS STILL CALLING SAYING YOUR CHILD NEEDS THIS AND THAT IT SHOULD NOT BE LOOKED AT AS A GIFT. BUT WHY CAN'T THE FATHER RECIEVE A STATEMENT FULL IN DETAIL OF WHAT THE MOTHER IS BUYING WITH THAT CHILD SUPPORT. WE ALL KNOW THEREE ARE SOME WHO DON'T SPEND IT ON THE CHILD LIKE THEY SAY. I AM NEW TO ALL OF THIS BUT I WILL NOT JUST SIT AND NOT BE HEARD.

Jan 04, 2009
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Sick and tired of dead beats
by: Anonymous

I want to know why women continue to have children with men they are not married to? We have so many contraceptives out here that no one should be having children until they are ready. But yet we continue to feel sorry for these women who have children out of wedlock when the fathers don't pay child support. GIVE ME A BREAK! YOU KNEW HE WAS A BUM WHEN YOU SLEPT WITH HIM. GIVE OVER YOURSELF!
My husband is trying to see his child. I am a witness I hear the nasty messages she leaves on his voicemail or the fact that she changes her mind at the last minute when he is suppose to get his son. She doesn't care about her son. She quit her job with three children to support yet the courts still see her as a victim. She is no victim. If I had a child out of wedlock I would allow the father to be a father if he wanted regardless of if he pays child support of not. What people fail to realize is that if a man spends time with his child/children he forms a bond. They bond alone would compel him to take care of his child is more ways than the court could. But women are so vindictive and selfish that they use their children as pawns to get their way. I think if a woman doesn't have a child, if she has not legitimized the child than she gets no support. Period. Women are not victims. We have a choice. I didn't get married until my 30s and I had no children. Why! Because I didn't want to deal with the child support issues you other women are dealing with. Why do you continue to put yourselves in these situations. You know a man isn't a good provider if he tells you he has other children and when you two get serious you still don't see proof that he spends time or support his child. That should be a red flag for you to either beef up your own birth control and move on. Take responsibility for your own life. Children are not free paychecks. And stop thinking that just because you won't allow the child to see their father you are hurting the father. Please he is moving on with another woman starting another family. He has no ties with you and because of your stupidity has no bonds with his child/children so could care less about their welfare. It's you as the woman who suffers. The child has no father, you have no added support and when the child grows up and learns that you kept their father away they will hate you, not the father. Wise up Women!

Jan 04, 2009
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Burned
by: TX Father

All of this is nonsense. The child support issue should be done case by case, not some one size fits all garbage. Non custodial parents get shafted simply because of the stereotype of being a "Deadbeat PARENT". I find it humerous, because I personally do more for my daughter than her mother's entire family, and pay close to 600.00 a month child support on top of that. The thing about it is that I don't mind, because I want the best for my daughter, and really regret the fact that she doesn't live with me because I know that I am a more positive influence on her than mother. The one thing I fear about this whole situation, is that my daughter is getting older, and starting to recognize her mother's actions. I make it a point never to speak ill of her mother in her presence, but she knows that when she needs something to come to me.

Dec 10, 2008
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Still responsible
by: Anonymous

Just because he's moved on doesn't dissolve him of his financial obligations to his other children. Secondly if he really wanted to see his children he would have gone back to court and filed contempt papers to enforce visitation. Honestly and I mean no disrespect but what makes you think you won't be the next baby mama drama dealing with the same issues. Put yourself in his other children's mothers shoes of having raised his children without support. You'd be pretty angry too. Kids aren't disposable,they don't just go away because one parent moves on.

Dec 09, 2008
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grow a brain on that stem
by: Anonymous

for anonymus let me tell you it doesnt take 100.00 to 150.00 a week for one childs support! You have to have heat and rent and groceries etc with or without kids! Just because you shoot a couple of brats outta your hind end dont mean free rent ,lights,phone etc.!!!!Thats the problem with fools like you,you expect a free ride because you have kids.Stop using your uterus for a payday it dont work like that get a damn job like the rest of us and if you cannot afford kids then by God dont have them!

Oct 31, 2008
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Continued
by: Penny G.

Continued....
I don't know much about New Jersey Laws, but I do know a little about Indiana Laws and some on Illinois as well. Dead Beats are both male and female. I have seen many women have it socked to them just like the men. Where I work, I see this daily. I am a mother of two from a divorce! He doesn't pay support on time, he is almost always behind! Out of 10 years he has paid school book fees once and has bought clothes once. He is supposed to do half of it every year! This year I insisted he help for a change and he did but told me he only has to pay support once a month to keep from going to jail! While this may be true, he doesn't pay a months worth once a month, he is falling farther behind, and is behind enough now in arrears for me to have his tax check and or go to jail. I have been dealing with this for 10 years and even kept him out of jail once. I wont do that again!
My fiance is a single dad of two, his ex doesn't pay support, she doesn't come see the kids, she is in West Illinois and we are in Central Indiana. It is a 4 hour drive! We have to take the kids over there once a month because she is too lazy to work and the judge feels sorry for her. She has no children with her, just a boyfriend, she has no rent (lives in a family owned house) and has no home phone only a trac phone. She was able to buy a newer vehicle and now works making more than I do! We still have to take the kids over there and no support. She doesn't pay a sitter and has let it be known that if the oldest doesn't come see her, that the youngest cant come...she doesn't want to take care of her on her own and doesn't want to pay a sitter! She had them removed from her by the state of Illinois 8 years ago...the oldest is getting to a point he doesn't want to see her, he has teenage things to do and so the youngest does without seeing her too! She never calls unless she wants money. Money that is not owed to her, she just wants it and, half the time when she calls for money, she isn't interested in talking to the kids! We have to deal with teary eyed children wondering why their other parent doesn't come around or seem to care. While the other parent, does as they please and happy to do so!
So you see, both sexes are dead beats, and it is easy for both to slide by without getting into trouble. My ex and my fiances ex are both going to be sorry, when these kids grow up and have them figured out. Our Teenagers are already figuring this out. We don't talk to them about it, I answer questions as honestly as I can without dragging either parent through the mud.
Regardless of the situation, This guy needs to get a job and take care of his children, its not only the custodial parents job! It takes two to make a baby and two should be there for that baby and raise it as well!

Oct 31, 2008
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Good Point But.......
by: Penny G.

Yes a child should never be taken from another parent unless that parent is physically, mentally, sexually or verbally abusive to the child or is a convicted felon (and Im not talking about DUI's unless he/she is drinking and driving with the child in the car).
On the other hand. There is no excuse to not have a job unless you are physically or mentally disabled. Her statement was...he cant find a job...now while the economy stinks right now, there are still plenty jobs out there he could find, Burger King stinks but, its better than no money at all.
The person I believe you are referring to is the one where he has 5 kids, well he now has a 6th on the way. You see, this guy gets them pregnant, tells them he loves them and then finds more women to lie to while he is supposedly only with the one with the child. Then he leaves that woman for a new one, he just wants someone to take care of him. He has never paid child support and I have personally known him to have jobs making $500 to $1000 a week bring home! Good jobs. Then child support catches up with him and he quits and stays unemployed while another woman takes care of him! None of these women are keeping him from seeing his children, he chooses not to see them. His kids try to call him and he wont answer the phone, and if he does, he screams at the kids, trying to make things their fault. He doesn't deserve to have children! He is screwing them up.
Now back on the subject of the woman who started all this about her lazy boyfriend. This man is not disabled in anyway. She stated he doesn't work and cant find a job! He can find a job! He just cant find a job that pays what he wants, and he cant find a job that will allow him to sit at home and sponge off of whomever is taking care of him. Yes his kids should get to see him. I don't think they need to be around a new girlfriend just yet, so he should see them on his time and his time only (just him and the kids). But, just because she isn't letting him see the kids doesn't mean the kids should have to go hungry, do without the things they need and some of the things that they want. The kids done nothing yet, they are a pawn in this game! He should be the bigger man and pay his support, while he is not, he is allowing the Mother to let the kids know he doesn't pay and is a dead beat, and is only screwing up how his kids will feel about him in the future! He needs to be a man and do whats right for those kids...if he doesn't who will?!??!The State? Well as long as he is drawing welfare due to not working,and due to no support she will be drawing welfare as well...so not only the state is taking care of him and the kids, so are we working people, that's where part of our taxes go! So the world has bigger economy problems!

to be continued.....

Oct 30, 2008
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GET A CLUE HONEY
by: Anonymous

I AGREE WITH THE MAJORITY HE NEEDS TO PAY CHILD SUPPORT REGARDLESS OF THE SITUATION. I REALLY DO BELIEVE THAT HE'S LYING TO YOU ABOUT WANTING TO SEE HIS CHILD BECAUSE I HAD ONE JUST LIKE HIM. I TELL YOU THIS MOVE ON FIND SOMEONE BETTER AND STOP BELIEVING EVERYTHING HE TELLS YOU. YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF FOR MAKING SUCH A COMMENT.

Oct 30, 2008
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RESPONSE TO LAST COMMENT MADE
by:

I GOTTA TAKE A SHOT AT THE IGNORANCE DISPLAYED ON THE LAST COMMENT MADE. DEAD-BEAT DADS ARE DADS WHO PURPOSELY LOSE THEIR JOBS IN ORDER TO SKIP CHILD-SUPPORT PAYMENTS HOW CAN THE LAST PERSON COMMENTING ASSUME THE PARENTS SITUATION WITHOUT PROOF, RELAX U DO NOT KNOW THIS COUPLE. IM FROM NEW JERSEY AND ALL MY FRIENDS HAVE THE SAME ISSUES THAT I HAVE RELATING CHILD SUPPORT/BABY MAMA-DRAMA OR WHATNOT, THE BOTTOM LINE IS IF YOU ARE A FATHER OF CHILDREN YOU ARE SCREWED BY STATE AND GOVERNMENT WHO OFTER DISCRIMINATES AGAINST THE MALE, AND FOR THAT PERSON BELOW HOW COULD YOU NOT LET THE FATHER SEE THEIR CHILDREN YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED, WHAT DO THE CHILDREN HAVE TO DO WITH HIM BEING OUT OF WORK. YOU ARE SHADY IGNORANT AND NEED SOME LIGHT PROBABLY AN ANGRY SINGLE MOM. AND I SAY SINGLE MOM LITERALLY, I KNOW WOMEN IN THIS STATE WHO HAVE BROKEN RELATIONSHIPS IN ORDER TO GET THE CHILD SUPPORT MONEY OUT OF THE FATHERS AND IT HAS BITTEN THEM IN THE ASS. IN FACT I KNOW THIS GIRL WHO BROKE UP WITH HIS BABY'S FATHER TO GET HIS CHILD SUPPORT MONEY AFTER HE FURNISHED AN APT FOR HER AND HIS KIDS, GOT HER A CAR AND LOVED HER AND HIS FAMILY VERY MUCH, YET SHE HAD A PLAN ALL ALONG, SHE TOOK HIS CHILD SUPPORT MONEY AND CURRENTLY GETS $$ DOES NOT SPEND IT ON HER CHILDREN AND RECENTLY GOT INVOLVED WITH SOMEONE ELSE WHO MOVED INTO THE APT. AND PAYS HER RENT AND ALL HER BILLS. THE STATE REGULATIONS DONT CARE ABOUT THESE KIND OF SITUATIONS AND NO ONE SPEAKS OUT. MOTHERS ARE LITERALLY RIPPING OFF THE STATE, THE FATHER GETS SCREWED AS USUAL, AND THE END RESULT IS HORRENDOUS FOR THE CHILDREN, SHAME ON THESE PEOPLE LIKE THE LAST COMMENTER ON THIS PAGE.

Oct 05, 2008
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YOU THINK she is withholding the child
by: Anonymous

Sweetie...get a clue...my ex has FIVE kids with THREE women..two of his children are mine. NONE of us have EVER withheld visitation for his lack of payment of child support YET he TELLS everyone that we have...bottom line is that he is a deadbeat dad that cares NOTHING for his children...he has a new wife and has told her that none of us ALLOW him to see them or talk to them but bottom line is HE NEVER calls or COMES to visit. SO while you THINK he is on the up and up and that he CANT see them....think on this for a minute...what if he is LYING TO YOU? What if she really is wanting him to visit but he is choosing not to....also think of this (because I didnt at the time and now want to warn YOU)...what if you two have children....then he leaves....what makes YOU THINK FOR ONE MINUTE that YOUR CHILDREN will be treated any differently???? Get a clue honey....men dont change...and if he is like this with a child now...YOUR CHILDREN will be NO DIFFERENT......

Oct 05, 2008
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ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!?!?
by: Anonymous

The kids have to eat every week. They have to have clothes and shoes every week. The clothes and shoes that they can grow out of sometimes in a months time, they need child care which cost $100 to $150 a child a week, they have to have school supplies, school clothes, you have to pay school book fees, you have to have heat for them and lights so they are warm and can see to do their homework, you have to have groceries, not to mention the money the cafeteria charges for school lunches. Dont forget water that you need to keep their little bodies hydrated. The heat, electricity and water are things you need to provide meals with. Mom has to have a car and gas money to get back and forth to work with so she can make up for what the dead beat dad isnt doing plus her portion on providing for the children. The kids have field trips several times a year (these cost). Once they get into school the teacher sends them home with a list CONSTANTLY letting the custodial parent that there are yet more school supplies needed. I have two children, it cost me $25 a week to feed them school lunches and costs me $900 every August to put them in school. These kids also have Birthdays and Holidays they enjoy Feb is Valentines day (every loving parent wants to let their child know they are loved on this day with a gift) You have Easter (the easter bunny gets credit for this) You have Halloween (costumes are NOT cheap) you have Christmas (Santa gets this credit) and you have Birthdays (ahh at last credit for mom).
You are foolish to think this is ok. You see I was foolish once. I married a man who used excuses as to why he didnt see his son or pay support...Just like you I bought into it and felt sorry for him. Then we figured out a way to see his son. But he didnt want to...why..because he would have to get a job and keep it to pay lawyer fees and was afraid of back support. SO, instead of fighting to see his son. He decided it wasnt worth it to him. He drank more and his alcoholism got worse. He wouldnt hold down a job, always looking for fights at work and everywhere he went. And he put me and my kids through some terrible stuff. He didnt love us, he didnt love him self and he didnt love his child. After two grueling years I left him and left him everything but my clothes and my kids and their clothes and personal items. He still lost everything and only cared about himself. A man will NEVER love you like you need to be loved if he cant even love his child the way he should!
You must be childless yourself to believe it is right to make a child suffer! A loving parent knows this is not the way to be. WAKE UP!

Oct 04, 2008
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Its hard but its not fair either!
by: Tony

Your boyfriend should be allowed to see his child if he has a job or not. However the law in most states does not care about unempolyment the economy or any of that! He will go to JAIL if he does not pay his child support regardless of what his ex does as far a visitation goes. Thats a seperate matter. He will have to take her to court to attend to her not keeping up with her end of the bargain. Its sad but parents who don't allow visitation typically get away with it! They should be meet with the same force as parents who don't pay their child support. It is totally unfair,but that is how it goes. He has got to start working somewhere....and I'm not saying that its going to be easy to find a job but if he wants to maintain his freedom he will have to find somebody to hire him doing something. Child support is a necessary evil just like cops, lawyers, politians etc......Some women use childsupport to make an ex boyfriend or spouse suffer when it only hurts the child. Its no way that suspending a drivers license or lowering a person credit score for lack of payment will help them improve on there payment history.On the flip side what if he had custody of his child. He would have to find a way to provide then so he still does, just by force that is excessive in most situations. The old saying it is cheaper to keep her comes to mind because the laws are not designed for you to have a good life. The law is designed for the child to get paid which is fine however child support is typically set too high on a consistent basis. Yes. One month you may need $800 bucks. The next you may only need $500 to take care of the kids and that is never accouted for but at any rate a income is his only solution!

Oct 02, 2008
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GIVE ME A BREAK!
by: Penny Garrity

That child did not split them up or put the two of you together, just because the mother is making that child suffer because of his father moving on, doesn't give anyone to take food out of that kids mouth, or clothes off of his back! Heat to keep him warm, water to keep him from dehydration and the list goes on and on! There is NO excuse for a person to not work unless they are disabled, and by disabled I mean truely not disabled..not too lazy to work so they use a crick in their neck as an excuse, ANYONE can work, and if they are truely disabled, then they can have their social security or unemployment checks garnished. Tell that dead beat man of yours to get off his lazy dead beat butt, and get a job and take care of his kid! Why would you want someone that doesnt care anymore for his kid than that? If he doesnt care enough for his kid to take care of him, what makes you think you will ever measure up?
Lord, get a clue and think about whats important .....this drama is useless and not cute, he will wind up in jail if he dont pay and he deserves whatever he gets!

Oct 01, 2008
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Its not see child and then child support
by: Anonymous

Him not seeing his kids had nothing to do with him paying child support that child still needs things whether he sees them or not

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