Bias Texas Child Support System

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Bias Texas Child Support System

by Andrew Pena
(San Antonio, Texas)

It Is the law If you have children you must support them. I dont believe any father would deny this.However there are many instances where the court does not fully investigate cases. it is much easier to lump all, so called, dead beat dads into to one giant cesspool of uncooperative payers, taint their credit history, garnish their pay, take their in come tax. place liens on their property and literally hunt them down and toss them in jail...I am apalled by such treatment. the child support system is completely out of touch with personal relationships between a divorced man and woman. Always the "it's for the child" statement comes up.

Never do I hear some one investigating how many children does a woman have, how many fathers is she hunting down? How much property does she own etc etc...Is she making $70.000.00 per yearand the father of her child $7.25 an hour. In such cases this is not child support, these are revenge payments, sanctioned by our antiquated child support system. expediency is the nature of the courts, anti-father propoganda is one of their tools.

I believe there should be reforms in the child support system that prohibits women from filing for child support after so many years have passed and quit using the child support system as a savings and loan with their incredibly astronomical interest rates. I believe policy-makers in the state legislation should moniter the present system and not wait until it effects them personally.I believe every father who has been effected by these policies should find a child support reform group and join it. Women know this strategy, They have PHd's in How to obtain financial help from anyone! They network like super sleuth, very often they already know where to go for assistance even before they separate or divorce. you don't see too many men at the food stamp office or at the WIC Centers. Although its available to everyone mostly women visit the child support office. This child support issue is truly on it's way to becoming a gender war. Ultimately it is the fault of the courts in allowing a system that they surely know is obsolete to continue.They would change their tune if every major city in Texas had an organized group that voted for their re-election (or not).

I agree children should be taken care of by all involved however child support investigators and judges should not be so quick to judge and assist in smearing a mans future simply because of the status quo.

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Bias Texas Child Support System

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Feb 08, 2010
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And the Saga Continues
by: The Only Wife

At current, we are paying child support to my husbands ex. Here is the catch, my step-daughter lives with us and has been living with us since December 9th when CPS told her mom she should. Will we get the $2100 back for the 3 months she has been with us. NOPE! You can bet your ass we won't. Instead she has been playing with the over $700 a month since December while we take care of her daughter. How is this fair? The paperwork is ready to be signed changing custody over and the child support will stop on our end but she refuses to get a job so I doubt we ever see a penny from her. The only upside, no money...no voice. We change her school and we choose her future. Sorry baby mama. Your drama stops here.

Feb 06, 2010
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No more easy Street
by: Anonymous

I'm a 30 something divorced father of two. I can't believe how unfair the system is. I've been watching my business income slowly decrease for the past two years because of the economy. Of course when the child support was calculated my business was doing significantly better and my income was slightly over 200,000. Ok, so i was a go getter. I am a really hard worker and was a generous husband. The hard worker part is what ended our marriage. While i was married i was outspending on my ex-wife and family 8 to 1 versus what i spent on myself. Now I probably make about $85,000. and that probably doesn't sound too bad, but so does she. Now here's the crappy part. She gets about $26,000 a year from me. I pay taxes on my whole salary in addition she gets tax credit for the children. She also moved out of state so I spend about $500 to travel once a month to visit my children on my dime. That leaves me about $2500 a month for all of my bills. Which i can live on. What does she get each month after taxes? about $7800. Remember, we make about the same salary. Now, I love my kids. I am not one bit interested in putting my kids out. I want them to eat well have any medicine they might need, clothes on their back, and live in a comfortable home. But come on. for the next 13 years were going to have a 5000 dollar a month difference in our incomes although we officially make the same salary? does that seem remotely fair?

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Feb 06, 2010
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Submitted by: Anonymous

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I'm a 30 something divorced father of two. I can't believe how unfair the system is. I've been watching my business income slowly decrease for the past two years because of the economy. Of course when the child support was calculated my business was doing significantly better and my income was slightly over 200,000. Ok, so i was a go getter. I am a really hard worker and was a generous husband. The hard worker part is what ended our marriage. While i was married i was outspending on my ex-wife and family 8 to 1 versus what i spent on myself. Now I probably make about $85,000. and that probably doesn't sound too bad, but so does she. Now here's the crappy part. She gets about $26,000 a year from me. I pay taxes on my whole salary in addition she gets tax credit for the children. She also moved out of state so I spend about $500 to travel once a month to visit my children on my dime. That leaves me about $2500 a month for all of my bills. Which i can live on. What does she get each month after taxes? about $7800. Remember, we make about the same salary. Now, I love my kids. I am not one bit interested in putting my kids out. I want them to eat well have any medicine they might need, clothes on their back, and live in a comfortable home. But come on. for the next 13 years were going to have a 5000 dollar a month difference in our incomes although we officially make the same salary? does that seem remotely fair?

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Jan 14, 2010
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Texas AG totally biased to women
by: Anonymous

I am a father of 2 children that were abandoned by their birth mother while I was serving in the military. My daughter was 9 mths and my son was around 2 yrs. She just drove to the airport in Germany and wrote a check for the ticket..everyone knows how silly that is.. not to mention she cleaned out our savings and ran me into the ground in credit before leaving.. we owed nothing before this. I was on TDY and was told to come get these kids and she was leaving.. so I did. It took about a year to get back to the states and shortly after I received a hardship discharge because I simply couldn't deploy with 2 small children to care for and no family to help. Fast forward 14 years with no contact what so ever from this prize of a "MOTHER" The AG told me for years they couldn't find her and when they did they slapped her wrist and told me she was doing the best she could.. did I mention $120,000 in arrearage... I have to say that they never cease to surprise me how biased they are towards women. I realize my story is quite different than the others but I think it's important to see that this system is broken.. I worked 70 hours per week and attended college full time to provide for my children. If the shoe were on the other foot I would have been in jail within a few months and she should have been hunted down and jailed for her neglect but instead she gets constant sympathy from the AG. This system was created by women for women and has little if any regard for men in the same situation. Outdated is an understatement!!!

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Jan 14, 2010
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Submitted by: Anonymous

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I am a father of 2 children that were abandoned by their birth mother while I was serving in the military. My daughter was 9 mths and my son was around 2 yrs. She just drove to the airport in Germany and wrote a check for the ticket..everyone knows how silly that is.. not to mention she cleaned out our savings and ran me into the ground in credit before leaving.. we owed nothing before this. I was on TDY and was told to come get these kids and she was leaving.. so I did. It took about a year to get back to the states and shortly after I received a hardship discharge because I simply couldn't deploy with 2 small children to care for and no family to help. Fast forward 14 years with no contact what so ever from this prize of a "MOTHER" The AG told me for years they couldn't find her and when they did they slapped her wrist and told me she was doing the best she could.. did I mention $120,000 in arrearage... I have to say that they never cease to surprise me how biased they are towards women. I realize my story is quite different than the others but I think it's important to see that this system is broken.. I worked 70 hours per week and attended college full time to provide for my children. If the shoe were on the other foot I would have been in jail within a few months and she should have been hunted down and jailed for her neglect but instead she gets constant sympathy from the AG. This system was created by women for women and has little if any regard for men in the same situation. Outdated is an understatement!!!

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Jan 12, 2010
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Was lied and tricked by ex and state.backed her
by: Chris Busch

I, like many of you, pay child support. I had a relationship with someone who was on the pill.She wanted a baby by 25 and quit taking her pill just in time to have our son at 2 days before she turned 25. I caught her not taking the pills she had no answer, she hadnt refilled them in a month. She also quit her job the week before and didnt tell me, but lied about going to work.

I tried to do the right thing and saty, paid for everything, then she began texting diryt things back and fourth to ex boyfriends and her family was a bunch of jerks. I told her i didnt want to do this anymore and while i was at work, she left and took alot of my stuff.

I signed up for child support the next day and called and checekd and they never did anything, months later i get a summons to court.

They get me for $4000 back support and take $500 a month from me. I make under $29,000 year.
Im diabetic, I have car payments, rent, credit card debt i got from supporting her and virtually no left over income at all.

I also have to pay back carelink from when i didnt have insurance amd other co-payments. I have to pay co-pays on insuline, test strips and injection needles.

The courts didnt care at all about my finances. I work as a tech at a school district and i dont get paid for the entire summer and i dont get paid two weeks durring x-mas, but i still ahve to pay the full amount.

Im at the point now where im about to lose my car and soon after my apartment because i cant get to work without my car. My health is slowly degrading because i omnly eat once a day and cant afford to take my blood sugar as much as i need to or take as much insulin as i should. I also have thyroid and high blood pressure mediactions i have to buy.

She posted a blog admiting she did all those things, she also lied about me and made me out to be some horrible monster and what she did was no big deal.

The courts didnt care at all, She even showed up 45 minutes late to court and they didnt even tell her anything, but if i was late by a second, oh they would have screwed me even more. Theres absolutley no punishment or consequence for anything she did and in fact, gets rewarded for it with my money. The worst part is that she used a human life to do this, my son will suffer this because by the time hes old enough to understand or care, i will be disabled do to complications from diabetes.

I cant believe the laws havent been adjusted or changed in any way.

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Jan 12, 2010
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Submitted by: Chris Busch

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I, like many of you, pay child support. I had a relationship with someone who was on the pill.She wanted a baby by 25 and quit taking her pill just in time to have our son at 2 days before she turned 25. I caught her not taking the pills she had no answer, she hadnt refilled them in a month. She also quit her job the week before and didnt tell me, but lied about going to work. I tried to do the right thing and saty, paid for everything, then she began texting diryt things back and fourth to ex boyfriends and her family was a bunch of jerks. I told her i didnt want to do this anymore and while i was at work, she left and took alot of my stuff. I signed up for child support the next day and called and checekd and they never did anything, months later i get a summons to court. They get me for $4000 back support and take $500 a month from me. I make under $29,000 year. Im diabetic, I have car payments, rent, credit card debt i got from supporting her and virtually no left over income at all. I also have to pay back carelink from when i didnt have insurance amd other co-payments. I have to pay co-pays on insuline, test strips and injection needles. The courts didnt care at all about my finances. I work as a tech at a school district and i dont get paid for the entire summer and i dont get paid two weeks durring x-mas, but i still ahve to pay the full amount. Im at the point now where im about to lose my car and soon after my apartment because i cant get to work without my car. My health is slowly degrading because i omnly eat once a day and cant afford to take my blood sugar as much as i need to or take as much insulin as i should. I also have thyroid and high blood pressure mediactions i have to buy. She posted a blog admiting she did all those things, she also lied about me and made me out to be some horrible monster and what she did was no big deal. The courts didnt care at all, She even showed up 45 minutes late to court and they didnt even tell her anything, but if i was late by a second, oh they would have screwed me even more. Theres absolutley no punishment or consequence for anything she did and in fact, gets rewarded for it with my money. The worst part is that she used a human life to do this, my son will suffer this because by the time hes old enough to understand or care, i will be disabled do to complications from diabetes. I cant believe the laws havent been adjusted or changed in any way.

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Nov 13, 2009
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Glad im not the only one
by: Fernon

After reading alot of this pages in an odd way i feel a bit of peace, mabye because i dont feel alone in this.

I feel the Child Support systems Stinks to high heaven, like somone said, that dont give a damn.

I have a son from a girlfriend, had a child custody case shortly after joining the military, my son was 9 months old. after i got back to my station (in maryland and case is in tx) she up and ran to california leaving a line of hot checks out of one of my closed accounts. after police catches up to her (whenever that was) she was put in jail/prison ( time frame i dont know that either). i have wrote the AG asking where she and my child were and they responded that there not entiltled to give out that information.

i had never filed on her mainly where i was stationed felt it would be more trouble then it was worth.

well time goes on i get out of the military get home and want to see my son but i didnt want to deal with the ex, being of her nature and who it was going to affect in my current situation. well i get served, show up to my court date, after my attourey goes in they say they want to serve her, sooo another date is set and i goto court and she dont show and everything is thrown out. now im at this crossroad again. awaitin my court date, my son is 15 that i havent seen since he was 9 months old, current and upto date on my child support she wants more money. the AG says im going to pay this certain amount which is almost 6 times that im paying now. pretty drastic to assum i have that kind of money laying around to pay out every month.

when i got home in 1996 i should have persued visitation, but this woman was an idiot and got used to the way it was. i do have 3 other children 2 of which im done and 1 left i get all the time, however. i jsut feel this case should be looked at alot closer then just stamping a # on it and moving on.

am i wrong here?

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Nov 13, 2009
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Submitted by: Fernon

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After reading alot of this pages in an odd way i feel a bit of peace, mabye because i dont feel alone in this. I feel the Child Support systems Stinks to high heaven, like somone said, that dont give a damn. I have a son from a girlfriend, had a child custody case shortly after joining the military, my son was 9 months old. after i got back to my station (in maryland and case is in tx) she up and ran to california leaving a line of hot checks out of one of my closed accounts. after police catches up to her (whenever that was) she was put in jail/prison ( time frame i dont know that either). i have wrote the AG asking where she and my child were and they responded that there not entiltled to give out that information. i had never filed on her mainly where i was stationed felt it would be more trouble then it was worth. well time goes on i get out of the military get home and want to see my son but i didnt want to deal with the ex, being of her nature and who it was going to affect in my current situation. well i get served, show up to my court date, after my attourey goes in they say they want to serve her, sooo another date is set and i goto court and she dont show and everything is thrown out. now im at this crossroad again. awaitin my court date, my son is 15 that i havent seen since he was 9 months old, current and upto date on my child support she wants more money. the AG says im going to pay this certain amount which is almost 6 times that im paying now. pretty drastic to assum i have that kind of money laying around to pay out every month. when i got home in 1996 i should have persued visitation, but this woman was an idiot and got used to the way it was. i do have 3 other children 2 of which im done and 1 left i get all the time, however. i jsut feel this case should be looked at alot closer then just stamping a # on it and moving on. am i wrong here?

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Oct 15, 2009
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Totally Agree
by: Only Wife

A man/woman should be responsible for paying regardless of whether they have "another" family to care for. I wish it were as simple as, "I take better care of my child so I get custody" but it is not that way in Texas. Despite the fact that we can provide a more stable and healthy environment for my step-daughter than her mother can the State of Texas struggles with allowing men to be the primary custodian of a child. Why is this? Go back to 1940's when it was the mother's job to care for the child while the father earned the living. That is the same case today. Who cares that her "step-dad" is an outlaw? Who cares if my husband has a clean record? Who cares that her mother does not work? Who cares that my husband earns a living and is capable of providing better for his child than she? The State of Texas sure does not care and the Attorney General is a joke! So, what do we do? How do we demand reform and open discussion of child care responsibilities and financial obligation? If anyone has an idea on how we begin that process let's go for it. Let's start that change because we need it.

Oct 14, 2009
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Only Wife
by: Anonymous

Only Wife - I said I agreed the system is outdated and needs to be updated. Any non-custodial parent has the right every couple years to submit documentation to have support reviewed.

Sure, all cases are vastly different, and if you and your husband provide better care for your step child, you have the option to prove that in court and get custody. But for those who say "we have 2 families to raise..." well, yes maybe so, but just because any parent remarries and has more children, they are still responsible for contributing to the care of ALL their children, not just the ones in their current family.

Oct 07, 2009
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Point Made!
by: Andrew Pena

Reading comments from viewers, I've determined that most support one major premise. The Texas Child Support system is in fact archaic and obsolete.There are numerous and certainly colorful stories of divorces and their aftermath
ie. child support... 2nd wives, 2nd husbands, all
leading to one inescapable conclusion. Not enough attention is being given to child support cases. Paying a fine for speeding is not, the same as determining who pays what to whom and for how long! The courts often rule on these cases in an
efficient and certainly expedient fashion that makes it appear so! The Texas Family Code Manual which governs child support policies,is in need of a complete overhaul. The problems are many and to diverse to settle in such a haphazard methods. Either lawyers are not doing their job, and/or judges are to busy to give much importance to these matters. Often it is said "We follow the Texas Family Code Manual" in arriving to decisions However... couple going through divorce and child support issues do not live their lives by a manual. A ruling on child support is of such
magnitude that it warrants more then one hearing.
(Lawyers would love this $$$$$). Parents should be allowed to participate in more detailed open discussion with lawyers and the deciding judge(s).
After all These children are ours!!!!
To furthur complicate child support issues, interest rates on delinquent child support is astronomical (almost criminal).This affects whomever the payee is(the wife or the husband).
So now even visa passports are being denied to
those that owe child support, tax refund are being
garnished, people are being jailed, credit history is being tarnished...quiet frankly the entire Texas Child Support System is a mess.Child support and it's aftermath are social and civil issues. when it turns into a criminal issue; the judicial system finds way to extract even more money from those that usually don't have it!!!
I Think reform is neccessary now. Not reform that allows you to merely vent but reforms that will allow both parties to be satisfied with the end results. Reform that will make Child support offices throughout Texas "Man" friendly. And Last but not least a Child Support System That truly Listens to both Parties!!

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Oct 07, 2009
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Submitted by: Andrew Pena

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Comment
Reading comments from viewers, I've determined that most support one major premise. The Texas Child Support system is in fact archaic and obsolete.There are numerous and certainly colorful stories of divorces and their aftermath ie. child support... 2nd wives, 2nd husbands, all leading to one inescapable conclusion. Not enough attention is being given to child support cases. Paying a fine for speeding is not, the same as determining who pays what to whom and for how long! The courts often rule on these cases in an efficient and certainly expedient fashion that makes it appear so! The Texas Family Code Manual which governs child support policies,is in need of a complete overhaul. The problems are many and to diverse to settle in such a haphazard methods. Either lawyers are not doing their job, and/or judges are to busy to give much importance to these matters. Often it is said "We follow the Texas Family Code Manual" in arriving to decisions However... couple going through divorce and child support issues do not live their lives by a manual. A ruling on child support is of such magnitude that it warrants more then one hearing. (Lawyers would love this $$$$$). Parents should be allowed to participate in more detailed open discussion with lawyers and the deciding judge(s). After all These children are ours!!!! To furthur complicate child support issues, interest rates on delinquent child support is astronomical (almost criminal).This affects whomever the payee is(the wife or the husband). So now even visa passports are being denied to those that owe child support, tax refund are being garnished, people are being jailed, credit history is being tarnished...quiet frankly the entire Texas Child Support System is a mess.Child support and it's aftermath are social and civil issues. when it turns into a criminal issue; the judicial system finds way to extract even more money from those that usually don't have it!!! I Think reform is neccessary now. Not reform that allows you to merely vent but reforms that will allow both parties to be satisfied with the end results. Reform that will make Child support offices throughout Texas "Man" friendly. And Last but not least a Child Support System That truly Listens to both Parties!!

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Oct 01, 2009
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Second Half of my Rant
by: The Only Wife

Today, my husband tried to have his child support reduced to the amount it should be which is $520 a month. His ex signed a waiver to keep it from going up and they cancelled his appointment without his consent. The AG rep told him that he could have a review but she would increase him to $970 a month based off of money he made last year despite the fact he took a pay cut of $20000 a year this year. She said she didn't care. That if he went to court that a judge would not help him because they don't like taking money from a child yet my step daughter can't even get a haircut or clothes that fit from her mother. So, while you lump all of us "wives of non custodial men" as bitches you should hear ALL of our stories. My step daughter is taken care of at my house and my "deadbeat" husband pays his child support FAITHFULLY each month. We pick her up from school, go to parent teacher, basketball games, provide her with a better living at our home than she has at her mothers. I have friends on both sides of child support. The State does not go after the men who don't pay but screw the hell out of the ones who do. So, think before you speak. Not all of us are mad because we have to pay or because our husbands have to pay. Some of us are mad because the AG sees one side not both. My daughter doesn't do without because I was smart enough to go to school, get a degree, get a good job and support her. I wish my step daughters mother could have been that smart. Instead she wants us to keep her child support high because she says she can't make it on less and that came from her mouth yesterday. She lives at home and pays no bills but can't live on $520 a month? Maybe she should get a job? What do you think? Or is it my husbands job to pay for her to live regardless? It took 2 so why isn't it taking 2 now?

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Oct 01, 2009
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Submitted by: The Only Wife

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Today, my husband tried to have his child support reduced to the amount it should be which is $520 a month. His ex signed a waiver to keep it from going up and they cancelled his appointment without his consent. The AG rep told him that he could have a review but she would increase him to $970 a month based off of money he made last year despite the fact he took a pay cut of $20000 a year this year. She said she didn't care. That if he went to court that a judge would not help him because they don't like taking money from a child yet my step daughter can't even get a haircut or clothes that fit from her mother. So, while you lump all of us "wives of non custodial men" as bitches you should hear ALL of our stories. My step daughter is taken care of at my house and my "deadbeat" husband pays his child support FAITHFULLY each month. We pick her up from school, go to parent teacher, basketball games, provide her with a better living at our home than she has at her mothers. I have friends on both sides of child support. The State does not go after the men who don't pay but screw the hell out of the ones who do. So, think before you speak. Not all of us are mad because we have to pay or because our husbands have to pay. Some of us are mad because the AG sees one side not both. My daughter doesn't do without because I was smart enough to go to school, get a degree, get a good job and support her. I wish my step daughters mother could have been that smart. Instead she wants us to keep her child support high because she says she can't make it on less and that came from her mouth yesterday. She lives at home and pays no bills but can't live on $520 a month? Maybe she should get a job? What do you think? Or is it my husbands job to pay for her to live regardless? It took 2 so why isn't it taking 2 now?

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Oct 01, 2009
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Response to Noneya
by: The only wife

My husband and I married almost 4 years ago and in 9 years he has NEVER missed a child support payment, a visitation, or anything else having to do with his daughters life. He is very involved and as his wife, so am I. I love my step daughter and take better care of her than her mother does. We pay his ex over $700 a month for one child. And my husband makes $55000 a year and we have our own child at home to care for. On top of the child support, we also provide clothing and other items at our house as well as support her in school and after school activities. When I pick my step-daughter up from school or her mother, she looks like she fell out of the Salvation Army and her mother refuses to cut her hair or take her to the eye doctor because she tells her that we can do that. Her mother picks my step daughter up and looks like she just walked out of Dillards while my step daughter has on clothes that are 2 sizes 2 big and shoes that are hand-me-downs from...I kid you not...her GREAT GRANDMA!
I provide my step daughter with nice clothes, that she picks out herself, shoes that are hers, a healthy diet, her own bedroom, and I listen when she needs to vent. My husband was never married to her mother so I am not the second wife. I am the ONLY wife. I married him knowing that until she turned 18 child support would be a constant.
See second half.

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Oct 01, 2009
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Submitted by: The only wife

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My husband and I married almost 4 years ago and in 9 years he has NEVER missed a child support payment, a visitation, or anything else having to do with his daughters life. He is very involved and as his wife, so am I. I love my step daughter and take better care of her than her mother does. We pay his ex over $700 a month for one child. And my husband makes $55000 a year and we have our own child at home to care for. On top of the child support, we also provide clothing and other items at our house as well as support her in school and after school activities. When I pick my step-daughter up from school or her mother, she looks like she fell out of the Salvation Army and her mother refuses to cut her hair or take her to the eye doctor because she tells her that we can do that. Her mother picks my step daughter up and looks like she just walked out of Dillards while my step daughter has on clothes that are 2 sizes 2 big and shoes that are hand-me-downs from...I kid you not...her GREAT GRANDMA! I provide my step daughter with nice clothes, that she picks out herself, shoes that are hers, a healthy diet, her own bedroom, and I listen when she needs to vent. My husband was never married to her mother so I am not the second wife. I am the ONLY wife. I married him knowing that until she turned 18 child support would be a constant. See second half.

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Sep 22, 2009
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Texas AOG... Gregg A. make a change to help fathers not just mothers...
by: Anonymous

I to am the 2nd wife and its like my kids got shunned in this whole process... my husbands ex says her girls have needs and mine dont? she says her girls are expensive and mine arent? Its not my fault she cant get a better job.. i cant even get a full time job because we cant pay for daycare... we been over paying her 230 for 3 yrs we are not going to see a penny of that... but if it was the other way around then we would be screwed... the child support system not only sucks its the worst in the whole 50 states... she keeps the kids from us told my step daughter when she turned 12 that she didnt have to come with us anymore... didnt let my husband start seeing them until she got her 1st check and then did as she pleased if she had plans then she'd drop them off but if she didnt shed keep them and turn her phone off... we called and filed reports but that doesnt do SH!T... the AOG is so quick to screw a man for his check but doesnt seem to worry afterwards with visitation rights or anything... and then the kids grow up thinking their dad is a low life and dead beat cause he cant buy them extra things but yet there mom buys them everything of course because she gets child support.. but will she say that no... now i understand a father should pay to support his children that is true but to try and milk the cow dry for yourself and not have no consideration if he pays insurance and has other kids to raise...

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Sep 22, 2009
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Submitted by: Anonymous

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I to am the 2nd wife and its like my kids got shunned in this whole process... my husbands ex says her girls have needs and mine dont? she says her girls are expensive and mine arent? Its not my fault she cant get a better job.. i cant even get a full time job because we cant pay for daycare... we been over paying her 230 for 3 yrs we are not going to see a penny of that... but if it was the other way around then we would be screwed... the child support system not only sucks its the worst in the whole 50 states... she keeps the kids from us told my step daughter when she turned 12 that she didnt have to come with us anymore... didnt let my husband start seeing them until she got her 1st check and then did as she pleased if she had plans then she'd drop them off but if she didnt shed keep them and turn her phone off... we called and filed reports but that doesnt do SH!T... the AOG is so quick to screw a man for his check but doesnt seem to worry afterwards with visitation rights or anything... and then the kids grow up thinking their dad is a low life and dead beat cause he cant buy them extra things but yet there mom buys them everything of course because she gets child support.. but will she say that no... now i understand a father should pay to support his children that is true but to try and milk the cow dry for yourself and not have no consideration if he pays insurance and has other kids to raise...

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Sep 17, 2009
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Savings and Loan??
by: Noneya

It's amazing how many of those who complain are the spouses of the non-custodial parent. My ex faithfully paid his support and had a successful business. Then he remarried and payments stopped, he quit his successful business to open a new business and I haven't gotten a penny in over 6 months!! Coincidental? I think not.

Although I do agree the system is old and outdated, child support does not provide custodial parents with a savings and loan program!!!!!! I keep track of how much my teenager costs with documented receipts, and with my child support figure, I still pay about 70% of expenses -- this does not even include his car insurance, gas, utilties, and other 'household' type expenses. So I think I speak for many of the custodial parents in saying we are not "making money" off child support payments! That's ridiculous and an excuse used for noncustodial parents and their new spouses to not pay, or complain about paying!

Jul 16, 2009
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in response to 3 fingers pointing back
by: Anonymous

Listen lady, I 'm very sorry your ex doesn't pay, but please think before you write. I am married to a man who pays but we have had plenty of problems with visition when she wants to be ignorant and things don't go her way. She is a sheriff and has used this to her benefit. When you are the non custodial parent the child support office could care less about you and helping you. When you dont' have a lot of money it's not easy to get a lawyer to make someone let the other party see their child. So please dont' say that it's a copout because I am a woman and women can make it very difficult for someone if they want to and how many organizations do you see supporting men who can barely get by because the bulk of their income goes out to someone who makes the same amount as they do.

Jul 16, 2009
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Needs to be Changed
by: Anonymous

First off i would like to say that I am a woman and I have friends on both sides of the fence. My best friend is married and recieves CS and her new husband pays. My own experience is being married to a man who pays. I have to say that I think the system is old and outdated. It was made for people who divorced and women stayed home. Now both parties work. I think it should be case by case and not the same across the board. They both make over 50,ooo, but we pay her and we pay insurance. So how are both parents contributing. I have to say we two kids and we barely get by because of his one child. After kids enter public school the money is really just pocketed if both parties make the same amount of money. And then in the summer the child comes over for a month and she stills gets support. I do believe that both parents should contribute, but right now this is not the case. There definitely needs to be some changes. but in the meantime my stepson has insurance and our kids don't, he has a part-time job now and has his own little money,but she still gets out 750.oo a month.

Jun 24, 2009
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Let me explain.
by: Anonymous

I would just like to explain my words a little bit better. What I meant about my son (step) turning 18 and the support will stop was that when he turns 18 we will be able to help him directly. As of now, his mother receives 17% of my husbands income and after you figure in mortgage, car, ins, utilities, gas, groceries, etc... then there is nothing left. There are no summer vacations or weekend trips for this family while the ex-wife and her new family own a Lakehouse, Travel to other countries and own expensive vehicles. (On a teacher's salary I might add) I am thankful that he will grow up with those memories, meanwhile, I am scanning the local paper for free things for me and my 5 year old to do. My husband grosses $67,000.00 per year, and I have to look for free stuff. Give me a break! I would never say that a mother does not deserve child support. Most of my friends are single mothers struggling to get anything from their ex-husbands. I DO know both sides of the story. The child support system is not bias. The fat cats with their deep pockets are just greedy!!!

Jun 23, 2009
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Don't Point the Finger Because There Are 3 Pointing Back at You
by: Anonymous

People are too quick to judge the child support system as bias. Think about all the fatherless kids in this world and the single mothers who struggle to do it on their own. IF anything, the C.S. system doesn't enforce it hard enough! A woman can be making $70-80K and the man much less, but he needs to contribute his part regardless..he made sure to contribute that night in bed, right?
You all are complaining about the system lumping everybody as dead beats, but in turn you are lumping all single mothers in the caterogy of "revenge child support", "living high off the hog", etc. I am fighting for child support and have been doing it for 10+ years and I will never stop! I am my child's judge, jury, attorney, and advocate; his #1 representative, why wouldn't any parent not fight for their kids? Men who accuse the woman of not letting them see their kids are using that as a cop out. Granted, the woman can be wrong by refusing visitation, depending on safety concerns, but these men need to utilize their father's rights. Go and seek help from a professional to secure parental rights, I know if would. No one could just tell me or refuse me my child; I would fight and for those that don't, you made a personal decision to step back too.
And as far as splitting costs between the kids, I think the logic there is, it takes two to take care of kids and if you have a child then you should be able to afford to take care of that child with the help of your partner, now if that person goes out and have another child w/a new partner, you still have to take care of past obligations and if you know you can't afford your second child with the help of your new partner because of your child support, you should've thought about that before you had another one.
Second wives, it's so astonishing and disheartening for you all to say, " and he/she's 16 or 18 and the suport will stop", as if supporting your children ends. Good parents are always there for their children and help them in life decisions and sometimes in financial decisions. What if that child wants to go to college or needs help with a down payment on a house or vehicle? Do you say, "oh honey, she's over 18, your support ended years ago", as if 18 is the magic number where you should dump your children! Please get a grip! And second wives, you should've thought about having a child with someone who either doesn't support their first child or who already pays child support. And also, what's going to happen if you two split? I'm sure you are going to want that man to financially and emotionally support your child too. And do you think that your efforts should be lumped into the stereotypical charecters you cast of women who seek money and medical care for their kids? Don't walk in shoes that may be too big for you right now, cuz later on, it's a possibility that they may actually fit.

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Jun 23, 2009
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Submitted by: Anonymous

Title

Comment
People are too quick to judge the child support system as bias. Think about all the fatherless kids in this world and the single mothers who struggle to do it on their own. IF anything, the C.S. system doesn't enforce it hard enough! A woman can be making $70-80K and the man much less, but he needs to contribute his part regardless..he made sure to contribute that night in bed, right? You all are complaining about the system lumping everybody as dead beats, but in turn you are lumping all single mothers in the caterogy of "revenge child support", "living high off the hog", etc. I am fighting for child support and have been doing it for 10+ years and I will never stop! I am my child's judge, jury, attorney, and advocate; his #1 representative, why wouldn't any parent not fight for their kids? Men who accuse the woman of not letting them see their kids are using that as a cop out. Granted, the woman can be wrong by refusing visitation, depending on safety concerns, but these men need to utilize their father's rights. Go and seek help from a professional to secure parental rights, I know if would. No one could just tell me or refuse me my child; I would fight and for those that don't, you made a personal decision to step back too. And as far as splitting costs between the kids, I think the logic there is, it takes two to take care of kids and if you have a child then you should be able to afford to take care of that child with the help of your partner, now if that person goes out and have another child w/a new partner, you still have to take care of past obligations and if you know you can't afford your second child with the help of your new partner because of your child support, you should've thought about that before you had another one. Second wives, it's so astonishing and disheartening for you all to say, " and he/she's 16 or 18 and the suport will stop", as if supporting your children ends. Good parents are always there for their children and help them in life decisions and sometimes in financial decisions. What if that child wants to go to college or needs help with a down payment on a house or vehicle? Do you say, "oh honey, she's over 18, your support ended years ago", as if 18 is the magic number where you should dump your children! Please get a grip! And second wives, you should've thought about having a child with someone who either doesn't support their first child or who already pays child support. And also, what's going to happen if you two split? I'm sure you are going to want that man to financially and emotionally support your child too. And do you think that your efforts should be lumped into the stereotypical charecters you cast of women who seek money and medical care for their kids? Don't walk in shoes that may be too big for you right now, cuz later on, it's a possibility that they may actually fit.

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Jun 11, 2009
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another dead beat father
by: Anonymous

My ex owes over 50K and no one seems to care. My husband earns enough to provide for us. My ex says that we don't need the money. It shouldn't matter who makes what. A father should support his children end of story. I would have been happy with any amount of money he could spare. An effort would go a long way. The children are now in college and now we are struggling to pay for all of it. We don't qualify for grants because my husband makes too much money. So now we have loans. My ex has 2 rent houses and a home. Where's the justice? He has a girlfriend and her 2 kids living with him and he can't make an effort to support his own. It's hard for me to understand why he can get away with this!

Jun 11, 2009
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It is all about money when it comes to a man
by: Anonymous

Stop worrying about what other people are doing and step up and support your kids. It doesn't matter how much money one person makes you are equally responsible for your children. I have 2 children from an abusive marriage. My husband put me in debt of over 80K and have not gave a dime to his kids and now I am going to loose my home and you say the law id on the woman's side.

My husband makes double the amount I make and no one is doing a damm thing to make him pay. He is allowed to go out drink his life away and screw whomever he wants while I am focusing on "How am I going to feed my kids this week?" So don't cry pitty for men. Men have it easy

Jun 04, 2009
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All men are dogs according to the law.
by: Anonymous

Texas child support laws are a one way street for fathers period. I have a 15 year old daughter that has decided to live with here mother and I have raised her for 9 years with no support from her mother in anyway. I am being told My ex wife will now receive child support from me and still get out of having to support our daughter or lift a finger in anyway because I am the man. I and my new wife have 4 other children that will have to do without because I am not there biological father and they do not matter according to the State Laws. Mad yes I am , I do believe my child should be taken care of and my ex wife should be made to pay half of the support of child and the State should stop crucifying hard work fathers and ruining there lives and credibility.

Jun 04, 2009
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Same here
by: Anonymous

I too am a second wife. My husband had some hardships with income in the beginning of our marriage. He paid his child support when he could. His ex wife told us on numerous occasions that she didn't want/need his money. After 5 years of marriage, he finally was blessed with a job and moved through the ranks quickly. We adopted an infant due to infertility. The cost was minimal due to a private adoption. When my son was six months old, the floods came. She slammed my husband with back medical and child support. She sent an e-mail at one point stating that he should be giving his "biological" son what he rightfully desrves. All the while denying my husband 10 years of visitation off and on. The court gave her her money, but my husband will never get back the years of missed holidays, birthdays, Father's days, etc...Where is the fairness in that?? Not to mention that we can barely pay our bills due to the amount given to her. I think they should take into consideration the cost of raising 1 child, then split the cost down the middle. It only seems fair. Why should she reap the benefits of what my husband works so hard for? Thankfully he will be 18 soon.

Jun 04, 2009
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It's so true
by: Anonymous

I'm a second wife to a man that pays child support to a woman he married at a young age. Their daughter is going to be 16 this year. He has to pay support on bonus money from his job, that is no longer being made because of the poor economy. They went by total earnings instead of salary. My husband of ten years now has hardly the money to make ends meet with our own child to feed and house. She gets the cream off the top, and we get what's left. 'Taint fair that we struggle while she lives high off the hog, with her nice brick home, and us in a rental. Three more years of hardship for us, so I pray God's wrath on her head that the money goes through her fingers like sand!

Jun 03, 2009
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Agreed
by: Anonymous

If you started that groupd I want to be vice president!!! I am in the military and I am thinking about writing congress on this whole gender problem we call child support. thanks for the post

May 28, 2009
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I agree
by: Anonymous

Andrew, If you know of a group or have one started, I would to join. I also am in the San Antonio area.

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