Can't Anyone Help Us?

by Amy Smith
(Fort Worth, Texas, USA)

Six years ago, before we met, my husband dated this woman. He had a wonderful job, making a great salary. However, he was desperate. In two months time she found herself pregnant, trapping him. He thought it was odd that she was pregnant because not one of the two occasions went un-protected.


He trusted her though, went along with everything. She attempted several times to self-abort the pregnancy but unwisely he stopped her. The kid was born (Hispanic) and to his surprise (ha ha) didn't look anything like him (Caucasian) or the mother (Caucasian). In his big heart he couldn't just deny the child so he made the biggest mistake ever, he signed the birth certificate.

By that time they'd been split up for months, and few weeks later she married this guy who makes around $275,000(the child's actual father). So, her "attorney" drew up papers and my husband signed away what little rights he had, (after that he couldn't request a dna test). She never took it to court, or had it signed (of course). Now we have one year old triplets, and my six year old from a previous marriage. He was injured at work last year, and now he can't work.

We have no money after the $1250 in child support. Yes, she takes what little I make working at Wal-mart, and Dillard's too. We are trapped. She didn't want the kid until it made her money. We've lost our income tax refund two years in a row and don't have the money to put gas in the car to get to work. This month we are to be evicted from our apartment.

All while she drives a BMW, lives in a $300,000 home, and takes European trips twice a year. I can't sleep at night, my husband tried to commit suicide, and we can't feed our kids without help from my parents. She is only doing this for the love of seeing us suffer. To her it is a game. Why is there not a pro-choice option for men? If a woman has the right to terminate the pregnancy or put a child up for adoption, I think the man should have the same get out of jail free card. I have looked high and low for help.

Everyone says that because he signed the cert. and then the relinquishment he is stuck until she has a judge signs it, or support is terminated when the kid is 18. Even legal aid turned us away when they found out it is her father who is the attorney representing her.

And for those out there who just think we are greedy or that my husband and I don't care... I let my daughter's biological father sign away his rights in order for my husband to adopt. I was getting $500 a month for her support and we believed a two parent household was an all around better life for her. My frustration is when the person receiving the support in no way needs or is even entitled to it, and the laws still allow it.

I'm writing on behalf of my husband and myself.
I'm truly sorry if I've made anyone upset or stepped on any toes. If you do have any advice please let us know.

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radar
by: Anonymous

the bible says evil doers will be cut down like the grass pray tell god bless you more and time will heal all your harts acks just keep blessing them and find a script in the bible close to yo issures and lean on god just like a bad relation ship this to shell pass keep the faith of job you only getting closer to him jesus pray tell the change come and watch god

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Intrest Rate !!!!!!
by: Sio Makihele

We know the real WHO behind child support FRAUD!! I have proof on paper and receipts that I've payed child support when me and Ex seperated without court orders. Everything was fine and dandy until I got into a realationship, "KABOOM!!" Ex decides she wants more then $800. a month. Attorney Genrel Greg Abott helps her for "FREE" BUT sends me the bill. EX tells Genrel that I wasnt paying!! "NO WORRIES Im thinking." I'll just show them proof. Well Attorney Genrel states that they dont need my proof, and that I need to get a lawyer!! WHAT!! I cant afford a lawyer!! My wages started to get GARNISHED $1'200 a month. Thats Fine I said. She has my kids and I dont mind giving my 2-daughters $1,200 a month. 5-years later of paying my monthly rates with no late fees?? My intrest-RATE went from $30,000 to $80,000!!! Why did I let it get carried away? because the system is set like a bunch of Professional Theives. I had trouble getting a house, car, loan, why because it's on my "FICO" score!! So I'm FICOed!! Attorney Genrel should be charged for FRAUD. We should stand together is the only way our voices will be heard!! We should start a web site, picket, fundraise or something! Anyone with any ideas? My email is siomakihele@gmail.com.

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kid not mine
by: Dee smith

hello i took i dna test 2010 and found out after 10 years the child isnt mine and 40000 in back child support.. i have taking her to court several time and she never shows. I pay 210 amount in child support. i gave his mom the dna results at the end of dec 2011. she said then y are you still in his life. I told her because i am a man. I would never just leave him. i had him more than she did. but she is foul because she has knowing since he was bornin he was minde. Woman who do this should be responsible for lying. couldve stop doing for him and seeing him in 2010 but i didnt because im a man and not like that. he only knows me. now she knows he isnt mine she said stop doing for him he aint yours you should have been stopped since you u knew in 2010.She said stop playing daddy he aint yours. instead of saying sorry this happened she wants to turn it around. easier said then done i still have to pay child support and he only knows me. she wont let me see him now either. so is there anyway i can stop the further child support. can i civil sue her for lying and fraud. she has been know since day one he is not mine. im not even on the birth cert. I really think that father who are there for there kids and then find out they arent theres get the crappy end of the stick.

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same thing
by: V

Oh my God Amy, this is all too similiar to my story! Cant believe how much our 2 stores are alike. Did you ever find any kind of justice?

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Not his fault Stupid! learn how to read
by: Anonymous

For the idiot who wrote"Be responsible!
by: Anonymous" At the beginning of the story the woman said both times did NOT go unprotected! THAT MEANS HE WORE A CONDOM!!!!

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Be responsible!
by: Anonymous

Im sorry to hear your story, more because you 2 have kids together, BUT if your husband was mature enough to have unprotected sex with her (by not using a condom) then he can be mature enough and pay for child support, please man up!Its not the childs fault your husband signed the birth certificate.. ITS HIS FAULT!..

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The heart of the matter
by: Darrell Landrum

I too am caught up in the sea of despair, otherwise known as being an NCP, ordered to pay $750 per month in support for a child that I do not get to see at all. I live in a different state than the mother of this child and cannot afford any type of legal advice. I recently read that there is some type of class-action lawsuit going before the Supreme Court to either get rid of the current child support system or drastically and radically change it. It is beyond comprehension how many times people have had their Constitutional rights trampled on and how many judges make unfair rulings without fear of recrimination. Who are the judges accountable to? From everything I have been able to gather, the jist of the matter is that states do what they can to protect the welfare coffers of their given state. In other words, the more they can make a NCP pay, the more money can stay in their respective coffers. It is absolutely correct that it takes two people to create a baby, so then why do the laws not provide that child with equal parenting time? Is one person better able to raise a child, based solely on their being born biologically superior? I think not! More often than not, the mother is granted full custody, the father is only an ATM. That is reality. Lawyers will do nothing to put an end to the bitter fighting that goes on between the parents, because if they do, then their lifeblood is taken from them. God forbid! It is such a horrible carousel that we get caught up on with no way off once we have been summoned to appear. When one does jump, it is not so much the fall, but hitting bottom that hurts so badly. The beautiful children are left staring at the remnants of their lives, bewildered in their not knowing why they have been abandoned and to fend for themselves. Hell has a special place waiting for all of the greedy money hungry whores in the legal profession who have given their souls to the devil in return for a few fistfulls of gold.

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I hate people who feel child support is more their need.
by: Anonymous

HI texas,
My fiance and I live in wisconsin. He didnt granted custody of any of his kids. The sad part is we are only garranteed a 36 hr a week.HIs oldest daughter recieves 200 a week and her mother barely provides for her. SHe went out and bought a new truck and bascally it pays most of her rent. It went for a raise only cause her two other kids that are not his are on state help. His other daughter mom got granted a 100 a week only cause her mother is on w2 for a child that belongs to a man she lives with who has no job, so bascally they make him pay for other kids. I feel bad for him. We struggle sometimes. we have a son of our own. Even though they recieve that money they still call and want help on stuff. I feel really bad for your family. I put my prayers to your family that someday things will change for better. The sad part is these child support laws suck in wisconsin and many other states. We need a better systems expecially if its only for the child not them. He tried finding a attorney, but they want a arm and leg for that cost. Ihope for the better for your family.

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Come on!
by: Guy

Let's be real, either this story is fake, or your husband is the dumbest fuck ever. He should have questioned her pregnancy in the first place when he realized she was pregnant, but he never went in her raw. He actually signed the birth certificate? Well, that chick is pretty horrible, but you can pretty much blame your dumb ass husband for your current financial situation. Although, he is clearly a very nice person.

Too bad his heart of gold isn't enough to pay your house mortgage, buy your children clothes, or put food on the table.

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i hate money hungry whores!!
by: Anonymous

Well after the law in Texas passed in February we thought it would be easy from there! NOPE!!!! we had the judge order my fiancée ex girlfriend to make her two kids take a DNA test for the second time! Results came back in a week!! DNA DOESNT CHANGE ---hes not the father of her two kids once AGAIN!! that was said and done in freaking MAY!!! Law passed in February! !!! The stupid whore can't take no for an answer!! WHY?? because she's pregnant for the third time by a different Guy and supposedly that Guy is going to prison soon for something he did... anyway, she's about to have three kids under the age of 8 and she WANTS my fiancée money!!!! She knows she has lost her case already BC of the new law...but come on really its taking this long to get her ass in court!! She wouldn't answer her own lawyers calls anymore BC she was told the DNA tests are negative and She's screwed! So we wait around for weeks!! For her to finally make up her mind on What SHE wants to do!! This still sounds wrong!!! Why do laws protect these whores so much!!?? And FINALLY she gives her lawyer an answer and says "ill sign the agreement of termination of rights and child support...only if I can KEEP his last name on my kids" WTF! !!! This woman is freaken crazy!!!!!!! So now BC she wants to do that we actually have to go to a hearing in court!!! And cost him more money for child support till the day we go and judge signs off on it!!!! YEAH EITHER WAY WE ARE ALL SCREWED! ! we won already but somehow she is getting money out of it!!! Plus the damn back pay of $4,000. Did I mention she knows he's not the dad and she's receiving almost $1,200 a month!!!!! Ugh!!!

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Any advise helps
by: Anonymous

I live in IL. My husband's ex wife pays support to us. She has only paid $94.00 biweekly for the past 6 years. I found out that she is working for the Post Office with a base pay of $45,000 started in 2003. I have contacted the support agency here, and they are going after a modification, but only going forward. Additionally, they are giving her leway for things such as child care for her other children, not with my husband. She receives support for them as well. Why can't the agency go back further than 2010? AND what can we do about it?

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HELP!!!
by: Dkin

I have a 6 year old little angel with what was a one night stand. My child support was set immediately and have not missed a payment other then 6 months of military duty. The mother recently had another (3rd) child with another father. Two days before the baby was born the TRIPLED my cs. I was making about 700 a month more on the the original cs and have recently lost my job. I was told that it would take 1500 for a lawyer to fight to get it reduced and the mother is not even thinking about helping me figure this out. I can not make rent, insurance, or even afford to see my daughter. What can I do?

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HELP!!!
by: Anonymous

I have a 6 year old little angel with what was a one night stand. My child support was set immediately and have not missed a payment other then 6 months of military duty. The mother recently had another (3rd) child with another father. Two days before the baby was born the TRIPLED my cs. I was making about 700 a month more on the the original cs and have recently lost my job. I was told that it would take 1500 for a lawyer to fight to get it reduced and the mother is not even thinking about helping me figure this out. I can not make rent, insurance, or even afford to see my daughter. What can I do?

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i am with you
by: texas

my hubbys exwife wont let us see the girl they have togeather he gives her 856 plus medical & dental a month she dosent work got married with another man she makes the daughter call him dad she has another kid that only god knows who the father is she is pregnet agen ohh and the new hubby dosent work eather she still has the guts to to call us to let us know she is going to ask for more child suppoet cus she dosent make it with 856 we have a 4 year old might b pregnet agen still not sure the house payment and car plus all the other things we need for the house and water y light bill ohh and child support office said my daughter is worth 100 bucks he used to pay 956 the lowed it when she was born we tried to tell her we would love for her to come live with us but how is she just going to let her money maker walk away so easy

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SCREWED IN MONROE N.C
by: Anonymous

i live in monroe n.c.and my job in aug 2009 cut my pay in half.I was paying 1000.00 per month and had been for ten years so i went to court in union county,had pay stubs,etc and the judge actually said and i quote YOU HAVE BEEN PAYING IT THIS LONG YOU CAN KEEP PAYING! I asked him how am i supposed to live and he said not his problem!2 months later they closed the doors and i finally started unemployment jan 2010 and had them take out child support,all the while my arrearages are going up still based on 1000.oo per month!My son is 19 and graduated high school and full time job my daughter is 17 still in school,my ex remarried and has 6 yr old and his dad has left to texas.I went to get my son emancitpated and again the judge denied that and then gave me 150 days in jail suspended but gave me 24 hrs in jail due to bogus arrearages!I DONT KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO!

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Comment
by: Anonymous

My son had and is going through the same situation as some of you guys are I feel for you all of you because I see him struggling and thinking that he can go ahead, but look at yourselves in the mirror, who created this situations? Some men don't think with their head/brains, just want to have a good time not thinking of the consequences. Pay CS, make the current family struggle, etc. In 2000 my son's girlfriend had a child, they separated shortly after that. She took him to CSEO (VA) even though he was sending the child a check monthly. But no he did learned from that because 3 years later have another one which is costing him a lot then to top it last girlfriend got pregnant last year and has served him for CS. We told him that he doesn't learn his lesson, who knows how much this one is going to cost him because this woman doesn't work.
So that is what I said I feel for the men some of you look for it.

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new law
by: sheila

this message is for amy smith from fort orth texas.. i am in a similar situation and we are almost finished with all the bs my fiance's ex has put us through for almost three years! A new law has passed in the state of Texas!! It barely went through this february and it protects the men who sighned a birth certificate when the child was born and the man is not the biological father. So what that means is he can take the mother of the child to court and get a DNA test and not be responsible for paying child support. I know exactly how you feel my fiance tried to do the "right" thing also when he was "young and dumb" but it hurt him in the long run. And we have a new little family of our own so it hurts us also. If you have anymore questions email me at daisynme77@gmail.com

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Scared!!!!!
by: ABOUT TO LOSE MIND

So I met my boyfriend which I live with three years back and he has always had problems with his ex wife about child support for his two daughters but that didnt stop me from having a child with this man. He is a good father and a great man. He lost his job for two years and his family has always taken care of his two daughters needs when they are with him. He fell behind on child support and now he is in a big mess with this situation. Im attend college to get my degree and make our life better but after reading these stories, I realized it will never get better. How is my future husband suppose to support his ex wife because the money doesnt go to the kids, because she goes to trips to Vegas, and great cruise with her friends and myself and my son. We cant pay bills at our own place and need help from the government to put food on the table. What am i going to do? She gets all this great trips and I get the foodstamps because his job cut his hours. OMG WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?

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Me t
by: Anonymous

I am sorry for your situation, and wish I had some answer. As I am in the same boat. It is my ex-husband who I pay $750 a month. I get paid every two weeks taking home $850. So after child support I have $950 for the month, my car payment, care insurance and rent are $990. And he takes home $4500 a month. Mind you that I had the car and this rent payment before the support was inforced. The courts go by what your gross incomes is which I think isn't righ.

My husband became abusive after we were married. After 3 years I had enough. And left, I had no job because I was a stay at home mom. He and his family took the twins from me when I was trying to leaving and kept them from me. I had to stay in a domestic abuse shelter until I could get a job and an apartment. I have a college degree thank god for that. I never could afford a lawyer. When I tried to get more placement with my kids he tried every trick not to let me have any placemnt. I would gain placement and he would be paying me little to nothing for support. He again would fight to reverse things and did. This has been on going for me non stop for eight years. I have never remarried and not sure I want to after all I have been through. This is very difficult for my boyfriend and I. It creates alot of tension and stress. I am emotional and mentally drained. I can't sleep either.
I always say I married the devil himself when I married him.
There must be something you can do since your husband sign is rights away. I thought support stop after giving up your rights. My X offered me money to give up my rights a few years ago. I thought that was awful for him to ask.
I hope the best for you, and I hope it helps alittle knowing someone else is going through the same.

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LAWS ARE UNFAIR
by: jhaynes32

Recently I have been in court over child support. My daughters mother and I have been seporated due to her being unfaithful. Yes we were never married. After we officially split up, she refused me any visitation or any rights to my daughter at all. She also refused any support from me for many years. I got to see my daughter again when she was almost 5 years old. She really didn't know I was her real father since she hadn't seen me since she was less than a year old. Her mother now has 4 children with 3 different men. She is accusing me of abandonment and the court will not allow me to prove my case. Now I have to pay, eventhough she refused to allow me to see, nor pay child support, over $50,000 in back child support. I am a commissioned sales person whos pay varies. According to state law, she can take 100% of my commission checks. which leave me with nothing to support myself. Before any of this ever happend. My daughters mother and I were on good terms, I did everything she asked of me, including the purchase of a car. I gave her money everytime she needed it. And I also supported her when Her previous boyfriend left her and her 2 other kids homeless. None of that matters in the eyes of the court. Only how much I owe here because she refused to accept any support. Now she wants it and the court will give it to her. The sad thing is I still do not get to see my daughter on a regular basis. Justice only come to the woman. How fair is that?

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Equal Treatment
by: Anonymous

I'm not getting and have not gotten financial help from my childrens mother for about 5 years now. And due to this country's alliance with the mothers of the country, I know it wont come anytime soon. Over and over the mother is accusing of the father of being a 'deadbeat' Dad. That's an oxymoron....a Dad wouldn't be a deadbeat. Maybe a father would be deadbeat, but not a Dad.
It took both to make it, so it should take both to support it....regardless of whatever circumstance arises. You track down a father....start tracking down the mothers.

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damn government
by: Anonymous

My fiance is in the same boat as your husband. He has 2 girls with his first wife & adopted a boy with a past girlfriend. For the past 3 or 4 years he hasn't seen any of his tax refund checks because it all goes to child support. In fact last year he ended up over-paid on his child support by $700 to his ex-wife & almost $1000 to his adopted son's mother. He's delivering trucks but doesn't make very much money from it. He used to work in a factory as a tow motor driver & made over $60,000 a year, now he's lucky to get $5,000 a year. that's less than what i make at burger king. Now his ex-wife won't let him see the girls even thought the judge that handled the case ordered her to let him see the girls & his lawyer won't return his phone calls to discuss whats going on. I understand there are some really bad dads out there but erik loves his children. Why is the government cracking down on dads so hard?

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I Finally Got Relef
by: Nick- FL

After getting denied last year and losing on appeal to get my child support reduced I started over again and this time I won!!

I had a new judge and demonstrated that after 18 months of losing my high paying job, all I could earn was 25 % of my former income. Better late than never, but this should have been granted a year ago!!

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Tired of getting the shaft
by: Daniel

Recently my child support was lowered after my son graduated however child advocate did not do it I had to go back to court yes agian . The court back dated my paper since my son had been graduated for a year yet when i went to see where the money i was overpayed by they informed me that it was already sent to her so my $1000.00 overpayment was a good faith thing and i couldnt get it. What? where is the good faith for me .When are the fathers going to stop getting screwed.

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I too would love some help!!!
by: Anonymous

I can feel a lot of this pain because my boyfriend was married to a woman that was nine years older than him. She had a son and daughter and after they married there was another child born who my boyfriend questions if it is his child or not. His ex-wife doesn't allow my boyfriend to take the little girl anymore after he has asked for a dna test. we would love to get one but funds run short because we just had a child together and I currently had to children already. My boyfriend pays a lot in child support as well. he pays $271 a week and his stuck with all of the amounts owed on medical bills that are not paid by insurance. His ex is also remarried and to top it off she just moved to Kentucky without my boyfriend and the courts permission as their divorce and visitation papers state. I would love to know where we too could find some help. We fight so much over this issue and are so stressed because he had to move into my dad's house with the three children. It doesn't seem fair that these women can just take children way from loving and caring dads.

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I lost My Appeal
by: Nick- Fl

I appealed my denial of my Supp. Pet. For Mod. Of CS To the 5th District in Fl and I lost. No opinion fled. Only a PCA mandate. Judges didn't want to write bad law and there was no legal basis for there ruling. Just their opinion. So now I will start all over again and file a new Supp. Pet. Cause I'm still not able to find full time work.

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are there set child support amounts in california?
by: Anonymous

Are there really set amounts that is required that a father pay for child support in California?
I personal know two men that are in very bad shape due to EXCESSIVE child support orders. One is my brother, between child support and alimony, nearly half his gross income goes to his ex.
And a friend who pays for his three daughters....and barely gets to see them. After taxes, he is suppose to live on $50 a week...not paying renters insurance or car insurance.

WHAT HAPPENED TO LOVING YOUR CHILDREN MORE THAN HATING YOUR EX?

I just don't know. Life is suppose to be a lot easier.

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How Do We Do It??
by: Struggling

When my husband left his EX he was ordered to pay $600/month for child support based on his last 2 years of his income taxes, 6 months prior to that he's job changed, making less money & the OT was cut off not by him but by his employer. He has 2 kids one is now 20 & 17, paying child support is not a problem, however it is when it DOESN'T go to the kids IT NEVER HAS She pays for her weight watchers and being so kind in buying school supplies for new teachers she wants to make friends with I am so glad my husband's child support can help them out,also making extra money on the side saleing jewerly boy how much more money can this (thing) His daughter told him that with her check she got for working a summer job for less than 6 weeks she had to pay for her OWN school clothes she had not gotten her last for the summer yet and she went school shopping her mom told her when you get your ck cashed your going to pay me back for what I spent on you! REALLY????? I thought $600 a month pays for that? The boy has now graduated and were still paying $600/a month for both because instead of just dropping the kid off child support at the age of 18 it has to be Court Ordered. Why?? Why can't DHHR calculate it based on the income of both families. However, she works a full time job and get assistance (SS check) for both children well over $800 one child has insurance provided by my husband his (so called mother) and a medical card and no one is willing to nail her on this.Hmmm Great Ol' WV LAWS!!So my calculations on her income a month is $3600. Why were barely making it pay check to pay check not knowing whether or not we can put gas in our vehicles for the work week and paying all the utilities, vehicle pmts and taxes....Food must not be important for families anymore because we can't afford it. However she can...you see her all the time running the road to a local (Wal-Mart)or eating fast food. I just don't understand..but you know God knows and it will come back on her may not be now but it will. And a BIG thanks to the JERK of a Judge my husband had at that time.

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2nd on the way, and they're garnishing all wages!
by: Anonymous

My fiancee' and I have been together for almost 3 years. He had a son back when he was 17, and has been paying child support for him ever since. Him and I have had our good jobs and our bad jobs. After he lost his last job, he took a position at a local home improvement retailer. The child support coming from the check was a given. No problem. We still struggled a bit, but we can't leave her high and dry. I since have had a son, who is 1 year old...with a daughter on the way in a few months. We figured out our finances and determined that if I could get a part time job to work until I have our daughter, and return to work shortly after, we should be ok. Our employer's medical benefits are fantastic! But EXTREMELY pricey, especially for us. Our household including Him, Myself, our son, and soon our daughter..ALL qualify for Medicaid. Hell, We even get Food assistance from the state. None of it goes unappreciated, BELIEVE ME! But last week we received a letter in the mail stating that the STATE is going to begin garnishing his paycheck for not ONLY his child support, but MEDICAL benefits as well. He only brings in about $700 a month after taxes..and they're wanting to take $420 of it for the two deductions! How does our household function off of less than $400 a month?! Our rent ALONE is $550, NOT including ANY of our utilities! How can we provide a home for our children? Our car has been off and on of a repo list for the last 4 months! We're getting electric cancellation notices! WE QUALIFY FOR HELP! So WHY would they try to take what little bit we DO have? We don't want to spend everyone's tax dollars forever! They decide they're tired of paying for ONE child's Medicaid (his son), which in turn puts OUR WHOLE HOUSEHOLD on Medicaid and Food assistance. How does that make any sense?! You'll make a whole family suffer for ONE child? They can have the child support. THAT ISNT THE ISSUE! It's the expensive medical insurance that they're enforcing to be provided by his employer! We're at our witts end, we don't know what to do. He put in his two week notice at work,... it's pointless for him to virtually work for free. He'll then have to find another job (which is hard as it is) that DOESNT offer medical, or pays him under the table so we can just pay the child support and use the rest for our family! Why can she have a full time job, Plus child support from two different men for two different children, pull in $1200 a month, while we're trying to survive off of $300 a month? Our last resort is for him to stay at his job and for myself to file against him, be dishonest about him living with us, and then file AGAIN for our daughter who will be here in a few months so we can atleast see SOME of that money again. IF THE SYSTEM CANT HELP US, AND ONLY HURT US, WE'RE GOING TO FIND THE LOOP HOLES! I refuse to let my child grow up in poverty as we BOTH work hard and do the right things!

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where is the help for fathers?
by: Anonymous

MY SON SEPARATED FROM HER AND SHE SAID THE ONLY WAY HE CAN SE THE BABY IS IN HER HOUSE. THAT DECISION WAS TAKEN BY HER MOTHER, NOT EVEN BY HERSELF. SHE DOES AND SAYS EVERYTHING THAT THEIR PARENTS SAIDS AND I WONDER? WHO IS THE MOTHER OF THE BABY ? WHY THEY SAID WHAT MY SON HAS TO DO WITH HIS OWN DAUGHTER? WHY NEVER HELP FATHERS? THEY ARE ONLY ATM'S MACHINES OR WHAT? PLEASE TRY TO DO SOMETHING WITH GOOD FATHERS, I KNOW WE HAVE A LOT IN THIS WORLD.

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Where are the Lawyers who handle these?
by: Randy Righteous

I'm perplexed as to why I'm seeing over and over that men are not getting modifications. If they don't have the means to pay - even if it IS their choice to change careers or work for less - that's their right. It seems there should be a niche of lawyers who can make money off of these cases, there seem to be plenty. http://menbeware.wordpress.com/

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What's Wrong With these Judges?
by: Nick-FL

I'm getting screwed over as well- as a single, non-custodial dad, I lost my high-paying job and applied for a CS mod. in August 2009! After months of battling this out in court what I thought to be a no brainer- my Petition for Mod. of CS was DENIED!!! Why??- mainly cause I have a 401(k) still from my previous employer and the Judge is caliming on her own that I am VOLUNTARILY unemployed. Her report contradicts whats in the transcripts of the hearing!

Now they are suspending my license until I pay what amounts to 11 months of arrearage ($15,000) and the judge wants me to pay CS using my 401K til its used up...and by then "hopefully you will have a real job"...WHAT KIND OF LAW IS THIS????

My only option- Appeal this to the Dist. Court of Appeals....

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Been There - Words of Advice
by: Anonymous

My husband and I went through this also. He was almost killed (was a police officer) in a car accident in 2004. He paid child support of $500/mo when there was no order to during their 9 month seperation before divorce. The AG had him put in jail after he couldn't pay the child support even though he was still disabled going through surgeries in an indigent care county hospital. They arrested him 2 weeks out of surgery. Compassionate huh? Though he offered to watch his kids (the ex lives 20 minutes away) instead of her paying $700/mo in daycare. His child support order was $450/mo, so she would have saved money she could have had to do things & buy things for the kids.
It took 3 years but my husband finally got his SS Disability and paid off the back child support.
Here's some tried & true advice:
First, have faith in God. He never fails when we look to Him for our needs AND DO THINGS HIS WAY. Instead of attacking my ex when he couldn't pay because of an accident he was in,I prayed for God's provision. I got my support, plus back support, plus twice my normal child support in a year but my husbands ex who wouldn't help herself (with daycare) she waited 3 years. Second, the kids suffer enough from the divorce. Be the bigger person (if you are the cutodial parent whether you did the leaving of got left it doesn't matter). Both parents owe the kids to put the relationship behind & do whatever it takes to support the kids well-being. So suck up the pain of whoever left & focus on the kids - you'll find as you spend your time loving your kids, all the rest doesn't matter. Third, look up your state's family code. Most are on-line. Texas has a defense for not being able to pay. It's called the AFFIRMATIVE DEFENSE. When you can't pay, don't have any property & can't borrow the money it is a defense. Present it to your attorney during the enforcement proceedings.
Also for the step-mom paying the child support - NOT IN TEXAS. According to the family code NO 3RD PARTY CAN BE MADE TO PAY THE PAYORS CHILD SUPPORT. Finally,in the end,the child knows and will resent the mother for doing this to the dad. Kids need their dads presence in their lives (especially girls) as much as they need child support. They say 'hell have no fury like a woman scorned' no 'HELL HAVE NO FURY LIKE A CHILD SCORNED'
Have peace that it will all work out in your favor in the end if you are doing the best you can to love your child, see your child & support your child financially & emotionally.
Here is a link to help you understand you are NOT ALONE: http://www.independent.org/pdf/tir/tir_12_03_03_baskerville.pdf

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why do we married women have to pay for our husbands sin.
by: Anonymous

It is aggrevating, my husband cheated while I was pregnant with my daughter which resulted in this hore having his son. Now he his paying $155 a week for him, while we are struggling to make ends meet. I have four children, and he is not bringing enough home to support our kids, so he went back to court to reduce the child support since he made less than last year and I recently loss my job. The stupid judge did not reduce it, she said that she sees no reason to reduce the child support.Is she kidding me.I just want to know who to turn to.
what is these legislators in Washington doing, can we all protest this mess. The law is saying that it is ok for a man to cheat and have a child with someone else, hurt their wife, and then the court turn around and make the wife pay the price of his infidelity. How is this fare, I am going to take your advices and start going solo with everything that is money. I was so depress but you all gives me strenght and great advise.
thanks


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help for non-custodial parents too
by: Anonymous

there is something seriously wrong with the child support system. Why isn't someone doing something to help the non-custodial parent? If I were in some of these people's shoes, my name would be "dead-beat parent" and I would run and hide too.

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loss of job
by: Anonymous

Recent ruling in Asheville, NC - I paraphrase from the judge who gave the ruling - A loss of job does not mean that there is a significant reduction of income, therefore, child support will remain at current level.

You've got to be kidding me!!!

No Job - No Income - But still pay 650.00/month.

Loss of home, car - soon to be on the street.

But pay up!!

Well, I guess I am going to jail to live the rest of my life.

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BS
by: Anonymous

I have a story quiet the same and I really feel for your family..... My husbands x too got our tax returns for the last three years and they garnish his check for over 65% of the amount on the check and were left with nothing to feed and cloth our now three year old little girl.

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Horrible
by: Anonymous

the ohio child csea are the worst people to deal with. there procedures are horrible. my husband pays 1000 a month for 2 kids that he has with some girl. the woman is on welfare section 8 food stamps doesnt have any bill and they want to take 1000 from him every month when he only makes 1600 a month, we did a review in the begining on jan. and they said we have to wait till april, its crazy they dont help at all. on top of that, we have his other son which they wont take him off child support until we go through court to get custody so he is paying his other baby mama 350 a month and we have the child

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I know exactly how each nd every1 of u feel
by: Anonymous

My husband and I are going through the same problem.This is our third time trying to lower his payment and still nothing has happen. We have four kids but he has a son from an affair he had during our earlier time in our relationship. She knew we were together but she still pursue the relationship cause the stupid head told her that i wasn't able to have kids. Anyways to make a long story short, she decided to have his baby but was expecting him to leave me for her and the baby. WHen she didn't get her ways she filed for child support(that was her way of hurting him)it didn't faze him at all.His now paying 420 amonth for one child which I completely disagree with it.We fight about it here and there and I feel for him but he brought this on himself. So I totally agree with everyone on this pannel about women just making babies to either trap the men or make a living off collecting child support. We just have to be smart on how we do things when it comes to child support and try not to let us down.Everything we have is under my name. And my husband owes so much back pay that we can't even buy a house if we wanted too....Good luck to everyone on this pannel and hope that one day someone will seek justice for the men who are paying their child support.

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HelP!!!
by: Anonymous

Back in 1981 I was married and had a son , because of my life style the mother and I divoriced and I was to pay child support , she would not let me see my son , we agreed at if I stay out of my Sons life I would not have to pay her C.S. a couple years later the son was adopted . and now I apply for a passport and was refused because of nopayment , they say I owe 25,000 how do I owe this when the child was adpoted ? no one will listen to me

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D.A.D.S
by: D.A.D.S

Hello dads my name is scott and I'm founder of D.A.D.S we have been stepped on,disrespected,treated like second class citizens.for every dad out there that's tired of crying,being denied your child,and having to loose everything while she takes your child,your money,and your future.please contact me at 404-3994693 or email me at futurestars@tmail.com.and remember,stay focused don't get mad and never give up your child loves u and they need the love of there D.A.D

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child support laws need to change
by: Anonymous

I really think they need to reconsider the way child support is paid. yeah if you have married for 5 years or whatever and now divorcing they should consider the NCP to pay but only for the child not for the custodial parent to sit on their butt and live off the NCP's money. There are to many girls out there that get pregnant either to trap someone or on accident then take off with the baby because they dont get their way has the baby calling someone else daddy and then when things dont go her way she goes after child support but do really think it for the child (hell no) I was a single mother and raised my daughter on my own because her dad left the state,it was hard and I did struggle and I thought about going after him. but then I decided it was my daughters choice when she turned 18 if she wanted to go after him well she is now 19 and she has found her birth dad and she talks o him she calls him by his first name and she calls the man that raised her since she was 6 almost 7 years old dad. This man and I are going thru a divorce and he still considers her his daughter and he has dealt with his own issues of child support like us having custody due to neglect and he still payed arrears while sh enever paid a dime. come on people wake up. if a girl decides to keep the baby knowing the father does not want child then he shouldnt be held responsible because if it was they other way around and she didnt want the baby and had an abortion could he get her for murder..yea like taht would ever happen ...

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my son /child support
by: Anonymous

My son is 33 years old was with this woman at a young age (17) to be exact she got pregant a son was born then 3 years later they had a set of twins.They never married lived together for about six years then she started to run around do drugs so they split. Children now 13 and 11 years old. He has always taken his kids every other weekend and weeks at time in the summer . She would come to pick them up with one guy and drop them off with another guy. The problem is child support has been set and his arrearage combined is so much that he cant afford to live. They came out to pick him up abuot 3 months ago found out he was working and we his stepdad and me paid 1500.00 to keep him from going to jail so he didnt lose his job and could keep paying. The detective told us there was a new program here in Michigan, and to contact this man at F.O.C. so my son did he went through all the procedures and all he was told to do and they denied him from the program because they said he had to many assests. He lives with us and doesnt even own a vehicle. He cant afford his own place and cant afford a car, this woman lives with her boyfriend the house is in his name she pays 700.00 a month for this trailer drives a brand new car, always has the best of clothes,her hair is always done and her nails she works in a high society bar/resterant makes 100.00-150.00 in tips most nights collects a cash grant and food stamps from the FIA. my sons food stamps got cut to almost nothing. We need someone to HELP US. My son has tried to commit suicide we dont know where to turn he has Deep Depression is Bipolar , Type 1 Diabetic, has chronic shoulder dislocatin and has had knee surergy none of this matters to the courts or FOC.

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Hope this helps
by: Anonymous

My husband is in a similar situation. I love my husband and we have a good life inspite the custodial mother trying to get gold before the child reaches 18. Hear's some advice to all non-custodial dads. 1) never sign anything you're not sure of 2) if for some reason you lose your job you must petition the court immediately to adjust the payment to prevent arrears from sky rocketing. The court will adjust from the date you filed for adjustment. 3) to prevent your income tax from being taken for arrears (back support) file separately. Keep your finances separate, put the cars in the other spouses name,
have the father take his money out of his account because they will send an order to take what you owe in past due support.
I know the system is not fair toward men. The women can only get even in court. So men be wise. Chose your woman wisely because babies cost. I will tell my son not to fall prey. I learned how to file all the papers and gained knowledge after my husband lost his job and could not afford an attorney. Try to forgive and move on. Women if you are reading this comment, one day the child will need the father for more than just money. Word to the wise...

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FEELING THE PAIN
by: John Smith

I met a woman, we dated a short time and I found out she was formerly a meth head. She is absolutely brain dead in many regards. We broke up and I hadn't seen her in a year but found out she was pregnant from AFTER we had seperated. She some how got the state to name me as the father without a dna test and they are garnishing 80 percent of my wages and added her to my health insurance without my knowlege. I was formerly working for the railroad here in Iowa but got laid off since december. Thru Union agreements I get $800 a month. The state takes $600 of it and gives it to her.

I have been looking for other work but it is difficult and my truck is about to get reposessed. I have no money for a lawyer and the legal aide lawyers are backed up so far they really cant help. She has and is ruining my life and I am powerless. THE LAWS ARE ABSOLUTELY HELL BENT AGAINST FATHERS and this current administration is working to make it even worse. I wish ya'll the best of luck.

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Selfish Money hungry Mothers Carma will get u in the end
by: Anonymous

Good Fathers always get the shaft.... My husband got divorce in Nevada and 1month after the divorce was final his ex moved his kids half way accross the United States with out concent from him. He had know money since she took the house, furnishings and car, so he couldnt stopper her. They came to a verbal agreement that he would not pay child support during the month he had his kids. This went on for 4 years and when she found out he was in a new relationship she opened a case for child support and said he didnt pay although the made and agreement. Well verbal means nothing. He has only seen his kids for 8hours total since Aug 2005. He now lives in Utah and she is back in Nevada. She denied us the right to see his kids when we went to Nevada strictly out of jealousy because we got married. i know the courts dont care because he is expected to take his kids for 8 weeks during the summers and still pay her. Thats not going to happen the way we feel is as long as she is being payed to support these kids she will support them. What she doesnt realize is she is only hurting the kids by not cooperating. She has brain washed the kids and convinced them that he doesnt support them at all. The only good thing that has come from going back to court is the original divorce decree stated he had to cover the insurance and be 100% responsible for whats not cover and now he is not required to cover them on insurance unless it covers the kids in Nevada and she is reponsible for 1/2 of whats not covered. Ive always strongly believed in carma....and feel strongly that when his kids are of age they will want to see there dad and at that point we will show them we did support them. Then maybe their anger will be direct at there selfish money hungry mother for taking there dad from them. Its not that he doesnt want to see his kids but cant afford to support them and pay there mother support. If she cared about her kids at all she would do what ever it takes for them to see there father even if it to reimburse him for the child support during that time. As far as Im concerned I wish he would get fired from his job and stay home. He has already been stamped a bad dad why not be a bad dad. She will get whats coming to her because normal when a person depends on such a large amount of money every month for several years then it stops over night they cant pay there bills anymore and the true will show. I hope that she uses this money for her own benefit and her house goes into forclosure once the kids are of age. Me and my Husband may struggle for few years but it will effect her in the long run.

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The law screws fathers!
by: Anonymous

The law doesn't care if the father has to live in a cardboard box as long as the child is paid for. My ex lives a lavish lifestyle and don't work because she claims to have all these medical problems at the ripe old age of 30. It's BS and I think the whole system needs to be changed.

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How!!!
by: Anonymous

Can anyone tell me how to get your name and social security number changed because i have an issue with identity theft and child support!!!

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no need for fake accounts
by: Anonymous

you shouldn't even have to open up a fake account in his name. Just don't put his name on anything you own, including checking and savings accounts. Texas wanted to know if my husband owned anything of value over $750 that they could take away. That way they can only take from what he owns. If he is working they will probably garnish his wages, but your money will be safe. If she is using your social security number then she is violating the law. As long as his social security number isn't on anything joint with you. File your taxes separately too or it will be harder. you'll have to file an injured spouse form just to get your share if you don't file separately and it takes longer to get your refund back.

Texas has a 4 year limit too for requesting a dna test. my hsband requested one, but he couldn' tdo it in person and we didnt have a lawyear so we got screwed at first. thank God for the appointed lawyer helping him. The mother watned his rights signed away so she could have the child adopted which means he doesn't have to pay child support anymore since she wants the case dropped too. we think she is afraid of welfare fraud charges since tha'ts what started it all. she signed up for afdc and nmed him as father to get it. then found out i wasn't worth all the hassel but the repercussions are still there. also, if the mother has your husband's kid adopted out he won't be responsible anymore.

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THE CHILDS MOTHER HAS OTHER KIDS
by: Anonymous

MY HUSANDS PAYS CHILDSUPPORT AND HIS SONS MOTHER HAS OTHER KIDS BY ANOTHER MAN AND THE MAN HAS CUSTODY OF THE OTHER KIDS AND SHE DOESN'T PAY A DIME HOW CAN SHE GET AWAY WITH AND THE STATE MAKES MY HUSBAND PAY

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DON'T BUY ANYTHING EXTRA
by: Anonymous

WHEN THE MOTHER ACTUALLY HAS TO TAKE A MAN TO COURT AND IT IS BITTER THEN ALL SHE WANTS IS THE MONEY AND ANYTHING EXTRA SHOULD GO TO THE CHILD SUPPORT

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In response to 'can't anyone help us
by: Anonymous

We are going through a similar situation with my husband's so called child. they never gave him a DNA test even though he asked and he was declared father by default because he couldn't make the origional court hearing since he lived in another state and was not given enough notice. Since going through this with my husband I have often wondered how many "dead beat dads" are really dead beat and just simply can't afford to pay. it's unfortunate, but how can they be expected to pay when they can't even afford their own basic necessities for the family they know are their own? Thankfully, my husbnad had an attorney appointed to him at his last court date and the mother is willing to relinquish his rights and drop all back pay we couldn't afford. The only problem is that the state still wants their high interest paid.

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Amy Smith here to update
by: Amy Smith

She had used my SSN with a private support agency and that was how she was able to get my income. I had to have that changed. I sued her for identity theft and I'm waiting on those results. My parents paid for one of those home dna tests. It was without a doubt, NEGATIVE! We spoke to a new attorney and he told us that it didn't matter what a dna test said that we were past the point of denial which is like 3 or 4 years. So, we had the support order adjusted and now pay what they consider the min at $250. I took the advice of many of you wonderful folks. We opened up a seperate "fake" account in his name, quit my old jobs and started back at the hospital(I was a nurse before we got married). I've been cashing my check and have started buying gold for our savings(try monex they're great to work with). We are doing much better. My husband is expected to be out of the wheelchair before Christmas, and we will try getting an apartment soon. I would want for everyone to watch themselfs. You cannot be too careful. Walk softly and keep your faith. Support for one child cannot be more than 1/5 of your income. Find other deductions if possible. We used our kids and the fact he is disabled. We will be praying for all of you that are in our situation.

Sincerely, Amy Smith

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Join the rest of us
by: Loren

Well, like always good PPL get the Shaft no matter what the court's do. You need to get the DNA test done if ur paying Child Support then you still have some right to the Child in Question.

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WE KNOW HOW YOU FEEL
by: CINDY LONG

FATHER'S DON'T SEEM TO HAVE ANY RIGHTS WHAT SO EVER, EXCEPT TO PAY CHILD SUPPORT. MY HUSBAND AND I HAVE BEEN FIGHTING IOWA AND MISSISSIPPI FOR YEARS. I AM RAISING A WOMAN'S HANDICAPPED SON, AND HAVE BEEN FOR OVER 10 YEARS. SHE HAS NEVER PAID ONE TIME IN SUPPORT. YET, SHE WENT AFTER MY HUSBAND AND WE HAVE BEEN PAYING FOR YEARS. HE HASN'T SEEN HIS DAUGHTWER IN OVER 9 YEARS AND HAS NO SAY ON WHAT THE CHILD DOES. SHE WILL SOON BE 19 AND MOVED OUT OF HER MOM'S HOME 2 WEEKS BEFORE HER 18 BIRTHDAY, YET IOWA DOESN'T CONSIDER HER EMMANCIPATED. WE ARE PAYING HIS EX- WIFE'S BILLS. HIS DAUGHTER DOESN'T EVEN GET THE MONEY. LEGAL AIDE WON'T HELP US, WE ARE OUT OF THEIR DISTRICT. IT IS A MESS AND A THORN THAT HAS BEEN IN OUR LIFE FOR YEARS.

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Heres how I see it
by: Anonymous

first of all if they are taking support depending on the state he can request a DNA test, ending that battle, however if you are in a state that doesnot allow this then he still shouldnt pay for a child that he has no rights too (you said he singed away all rights right) and last thing is that if he is paying support your wages shouldnt even be getting touched i would open a seperate bank account with out your husbands name on it and it wont be considered "his" because his name is no where on the account..that is how shes getting your money and she shoulnt be touching it!..keep me posted if this helps at all..oh yea one more thing if he is paying support he needs visitation so that he can be in this kids life since hes paying into it.

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File
by: Anonymous

File for DNA test. When it's ordered she will be ordered to produce the child and have it done. She can be held in contempt if she doesn't produce the child.
T

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Help
by: Anonymous

Maybe he should file for paternity a DNA test will be ordered. And then they will know if the child is his or not. No one should ever sign a birth certificate if they do not believe the child is theres. I do not agree with what she is doing but I do agree that the custodial parent should pay child support if the child is actually his no mater what the other persons new spouse makes. It should be based on his income not yours and in most states the new wife/husbands income does not come into play. You should check into that. IF the child is his he should have to pay no mater what her husband makes it would be his child. But get the DNA test. You can request it.

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Spousal $$
by: Anonymous

In Texas the courts cannot consider your income as his income, what you make has NO affect on what CS she gets. We are going back for a modification (she wants more.. when we make less) anyway I was wondering if our LLC can be looked at as for what we make.. ANYONE know?

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us too!
by: Anonymous

SAME THING WITH ME. SHE LIED ON THE SUPPORT ORDER SAYING HE WASN'T MARRIED AND HAD NO MORE KIDS. HOWEVER, I'M HIS WIFE AND WE HAVE A SON TOGETHER. so we're screwed too.

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Can't Anyone Help Us
by: Anonymous

Use a fake social security number,that is easily done with a black ink pen. Register a LLC business and open a checking account in that name. Quit Walmart and start a business (LLC) and become your own employee paying yourself a very, very small salary. Then buy gold for your retirement needs and keep it locked away in a safe that is not in your home. Don't use a safety deposit box. You can also buy an anuity, that's considered an insurance policy and not an investment.

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me TOO!!
by: concerned8(

OMG the same thing is happening to me accept we aren't married yet and his ex trapped him with a little blond haired blue eyed girl and they both have brown hair and brown eyes!! he was and is getting screwed!! They have joint custody and he still has to pay child support. I dont think thats right!! because she works at the bar and she is only 19 is there something i can do to stop this?? thank God he only works @ walmart too, so his salary is not that much thats why were not married because im a nurse and im afraid that she will go after what I make because what is mine is his too. So help me out please shannon6291@hotmail.com

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This may be a silly comment
by: Anonymous

But just file for Paternity. The Court will order a DNA and then he is done. Good Luck

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