Comments for Child Support Insidiously Alienating Fathers

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To Cass Andre
by: Sean C Julian

AZ realizes that you are providing for your children while they are with you. It appears that only applies to the parent with primary residence. In other words, the non-primary is supporting two households. With the more visitation you have the less support you pay, AZ encourage custody battles turning a reward of children spending quality time with both parents into children becoming a cash prize. The Child Support System fails to give children the quality time needed with both parents.
Talk about adding insult to injury. Your income is 60% higher and he still has to pay. One purpose of child support is to bring household income of both parents to an equal level of quality. You accuse your ex of not reporting all of his income; let us say you are right. The Child Support System fails to bring equal quality to both households by not analyzing household incomes properly.
You took offense to me saying, "a repeal of Child Support would mean women become more responsible...” If you read the entire sentence, it mentions nothing of work or school. To clarify, it is about women being more responsible about the type of men they choose to have children with if child support is no longer an option.
I have no problem with society expecting fathers to meet their responsibilities to their children. However, society in turn must protect fathers' rights to the care and custody of their children. A society that fails to protect a father's rights loses the moral authority to demand he comply with his responsibilities.
Regarding your son’s car repairs, you could not have handled that situation worse. If you think your son is responsible enough to have a car then you should expect him to pay for things like repairs, gas, insurance, and maintenance on his own. Instead, you took the opportunity to trash his father and made it easy for him to blame his father in the future.
So what is wrong with Child Support?
Its power is virtually unchecked. Women are rewarded for using its power. The system is unfair to children, depriving them of their rights to a father.
It cannot deliver on what it promises. In theory, it promises women the social and sexual freedom of being single while retaining both their children and the economic benefits of marriage.
That is a promise made by the state to women on behalf of men. The state does not ask men what they promised women; it simply jails men if they fail to deliver on the promises it made to women on their behalf.
Most would reply that single moms do not have it that great. Look at all the child support that is not paid and how many divorced moms struggle. Being a single mom is practically synonymous with being a victim. That is simply another argument against the Child Support System–it makes victims of single moms because it cannot deliver on what it has promised.
In conclusion, Child Support System in its entirety is a complete failure. Victim moms, jailed dads, fatherless kids, that is what the Child Support System delivers.

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Insidiously Alienating Fathers
by: Anonymous

No offense...I;m sure feelings were hurt, but his adultry has absolutely nothing do to with child support. Deserting his kid is wrong, sure. But going after someone for support because he was unfaithful is wrong. One has nothing to do with the other.

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Rating starstarstarstarstar Child Support Insidiously Alienating Fathers
by: Anonymous

Thank you for your comment but I need more info on that. I'm helping my girlfriend get justice for her spouse adultery and abandoning his child sinced she was three years old which if you have a heart, it's consider as your own. It really hurts to see a child abandon when you are the only parent she knows since so young and innocent.

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No Easy Answers
by: Anonymous

Wow, that is one fucked up story that compares to mine.

I could say something like "all women are evil" crap but that's not the case. When you put the word "intitlement" on things, people start thingking they deserve just "because." There is no easy fix or solution when you are dealing with a unreasonable and errational person.I'm just tired of playing with a fixed deck.I'll never trust anything that comes out of my exs mouth. Luckily I got a parenting plan in place although I caved in too much. Never again will I play the fool. I just want my fair share of time with my son.

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Child Support Insidiously Alienating Fathers
by: Anonymous

I don't know if it's true that you have to pay child support if you live >6 months with the person. However, I did hear that in CA, if a man's name in the birth certificate, he's pretty much bound for life. That is ridiculous in my opinion.
DNA and only DNA should matter. My fiance has been paying 12 years for a child he knows isn't his. But he had a bind with her when she was younger so, he feels this is best. He doesn't want her to hurt. However, when she turned on him recently, all he could think of is how generous he has been and how ingrateful she had become. If he wanted to, he should have the right to pull the DNA card. She only contacts her for money...as is the tradition with his ex.
So, if he wanted to, yes, I feel he should be able to cut ties and only take care of his own.

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Child Support
by: Anthony

Do you know if an individual has to pay child support eventhough they're not the biological parent? I read somewhere that a new law stated that child support applies to a person living together for a period of 6 months or more has to pay child support if no longer together. Is that true?

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Understand your frustration but completely disagree
by: Cass Andre

In AZ, income is split into percentages. Say, I make 40% and he makes 60%. If the support amount is $1000, and primary residence is with me, he is ordered to pay that $600 to me. If primary residence is with him, I pay $400 to him. It's a good sliding scale. In AZ, the more you see your kids, the less your support is because the state realizes that you're providing for them while they're with you.
For the record, I'm on the high end of the scale. My ex's income was like 30% of our combined income because he doesn't report all of his income. When I was awarded 550/mo for 4 kids, I didn't think the system screwed me. My ex did. The only thing I wish the state would do, is take other things into consideration when a person is "self-employed." Buying 50K trucks, boats, etc while claiming you make 20K a year should be investigated.
I take offense to "a repeal of Child Support would mean women become more responsible..." I have a full time job, a part time job and am a full time student. It seems you're saying men should spill their seed all over the place and not be responsible. Both parties should have financial responsibility. In the very old ways, there was no child support. In the man's world, the idea was that if a woman divorced him, she was on her own. This was one way men were able to behave in any way they wanted without repercussions.
"Making a monthly payment is not what I pictured fatherhood being," but you had to know kids cost money, right? I'm sure your ex feels the same way--that when you made this decision together, she had no clue she'd be managing on her own.
Child support isn't driving a wedge between you and your kids. Kids get resentful because they go without. My son's car broke down. It's a $40 fix. I put aside $5 from each check to fix it. That wouldn't have to happen if my ex paid what is now $350/mo.
If we eliminate the father's financial responsibilityand take more money away from the children...then even MORE people can go on welfare and the state can really go into the toilet. Doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Of course, there's also the plan where 3 to 4 families can live together to make ends meet. That's an interesting direction to point our country in....but isn't that the past we've already grown from. I guess I'm not seeing your logic.
The amount you owe may seem like a lot, but if you're making your payments and the evil ex is still bad mouthing you, your kids will get it. I promise. They're not stupid. But you have to understand (even though you may not like the way it feels) we can't preach to our kids about being responsible about grades, attitude, drugs, integrity and life, then shirk our own responsibilities and think they're not going to be a little pissed when they are affected by it. It's not that your kids are greedy or basing their love of you on money, but the kids I've spoken to feel the parent sends the message of how important and prized they are. The kids just respond to that.

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This applies to all non-custodial parents
by: Anonymous

You are not alone, although it may surprise you to learn that I am actually a mother in a similar position to what you are in.

My ex exploited a typo in our divorce decree to cause me to owe an extra year's worth of child support. Of course, he's the one doing the name calling, along with his wife. All of this after claiming that I abandoned my children because I ran out of money to fight for them. I fought for almost two years, only to lose my home, my car and my job, but I still abandoned my children.

To make matters worse, I can't see them now because I have no driver's license, thanks to the corrupt child support system. I think the whole thing needs to be done away with. Parents are equally capable of getting jobs and caring for their children, but not if they are crippled by these laws. Making the non-custodial parents unemployable doesn't help anyone at all, and yet that's what they do. They also take away our ability to see our children and then tell us we've abandoned our children.

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