Child Support Insidiously Alienating Fathers

by Sean C Julian
(Stockton, Ca, USA)

Dear friends,

I am addressing the Child Support awards program. American society today believes all men and women are equals in all aspects of life. When the establishment and enforcement of a Child Support order awards one parent over the other parent, the immediate emotional distress is immeasurable. We have the separation of Church and State, so should we have the separation of Parenting and State?

Child support awards are equally unfair to today’s fathers as they were to yesterday’s mothers. In 1950, Child Support becomes law because a huge gap of inequality existed for employment opportunities and pay rate between women and men. By the mid 1980’s, those inequalities were extinct and more women than ever are treated equal to men. Presently, the career opportunities for women are unlimited and better then men in some cases. The change has been great for women. The one thing that has not changed is the ideology of Child Support awards for women. The argument for the need of Child Support due to unequal employment opportunity for women is no longer valid.

Currently, Child Support orders are the most insidious factor affecting separated parents. No matter how state officials try to improve, fix, tweak, or implement a new process their attempts are futile and most likely will end up with the same results or worse. In reality, it is impossible to implement a Child Support guideline that is fair to all parties involved. If it is not fair and equal for all parties then an immediate repeal of Child Support should take place. After reading the Review of the Statewide Uniform Child Support Guideline 2010—Report the need of repeal is blatantly obvious. The benefits a repeal of Child Support would mean women become more responsible about the possibility of raising a child without support from the father, a huge decline of new single mothers and more families might work through their problems and stay together. If the government really wants the best for our children, take the funding from Child Support and put it back into the public education programs. Initially, the idea to repeal Child Support sounds ludicrous and will cause a huge uproar. Be open-minded, look beyond the old ideology of child support, and seriously analyze the results of implementing repeal. You will find the pros by far out-weigh the cons. Repeal to Child Support makes perfect sense to resolve the great number of negative issues associated with and directly caused by child support orders. Repeal to Child Support truly insures equality for both parents in custody matters.

So I would not look bias, I wanted to post links to positive facts in favor of Child Support but I could not find any such facts. The only people left who really try to make a positive case for Child Support are high-ranking officials employed by the process. A simple Google search on child support brings up thousands of horror stories. The links below are all informational facts.

Child Support History

Family Law Facts

Enforced Destruction of Society and Marriage by Feminist Ideology

Review of the Statewide Uniform Child Support Guideline 2010—Report

Title IV-D of the Social Security Act

As you might have guessed, I am a man paying child support and this is my horror story. Although mine is a child’s horror story compared to the stories of others I have read. You probably think I am being cheap and a deadbeat dad that‘s wining about paying child support. I am not cheap and am not a deadbeat dad. However, I am angry that I have to make payments on my kids as if they were a purchase item. Making a monthly payment is not what I pictured fatherhood being when I made the decision with my now ex-wife to have children and start a family. The child support system has driven a wedge between my kids and me. The wedge comes from the status of being on non-speaking terms with their mom because of Child Support issues.

From 01/2005 to 12/2009, the child support ordered payment of $558 per month were an automatic deduction from my paycheck and was not an issue. During this time, I knew nothing about the child support circus and did not care to. I just saw it as another deduction from my paycheck. In 12/2009, I lost my job at no fault of my own and started collecting Unemployment Insurance benefits. I told my ex-wife that I have 2 months worth of CS for her at the current rate of $558 but since I am on unemployment, we need to recalculate the monthly CS until I get another job. She told me that it was ok if I do not pay her, that she is doing ok and I will need it more. I told her I would rather just keep paying because I do not want to owe her later. That statement is just my mistrust in her from prior experience. Once again, at this time I know nothing of child support rules. She insists that it is ok. Taken by this rare act of kindness, I faithfully agreed.

Little did I know! Months go by and I am not finding employment, which is strange because for the previous 17 years I have never been jobless longer than a week. After 3 or 4 months go by, I ask my ex if she needs me to start paying the CS again. She declines and says she is ok with it still. I am now losing my apartment and 90 days past due on credit card bills. I decide to file bankruptcy and move to my hometown to be closer to my family, which is about 70 miles away. The job market is worse and another 3 or 4 months fly by. Once again, I ask my ex about the CS and get the same reply.

By chance, in 12/2010 I happen upon an article about CS that says any unpaid back CS is due in full and with interest, no exceptions. Remember the old cartoons when a characters head changed to a donkey head. Yeah, that was I at that moment, “HEE-YAA, HEE-YAA JACKASS!” I thought to myself, no way she is that evil. I called my ex about it and sure enough, she had set me up from the start. She was unwilling to waive the back pay and never intended to. The total arrears amount plus the interest starts at $8700. Filing bankruptcy “to get a fresh start” was a complete waste of time. Now I am angry calling her every name in the book and my kids get mad at me for saying bad things about their mom. In their eyes, I am the asshole. WTF? I conclude that the CS system of trading dads for dollars does more harm then good.

There are more details but I think you understand my story and know the consequences that follow. Arrears plus interest, anger, name-calling, DCSS, blah blah blah and now I am just another statistic in the Daddy grinding process. I was so impressed with what I thought was a great act of compassion and understanding by my ex-wife, that it blinded me from reality. The reality is she combined my ignorance of CS laws, an inside knowledge, and her natural demonical personality to manipulate CS laws for her own personal gain while screwing me over at the same time. I have to say that describing my ex-wife as demonical is putting it lightly. I just picture other demons standing around shaking theirs heads and saying, “Dang, that’s messed up!” In trying to stay positive, I look at it like this, it was the best screw she ever gave me. I know this is no joke but if I do not make light of it I would have gone postal already.

I wanted to let you know about a new petition I created on We the People, a new feature on, and ask for your support. Will you add your name to mine? If this petition gets 25,000 signatures by December 27, 2011, the White House will review it and respond!

We the People allows anyone to create and sign petitions asking the Obama Administration to take action on a range of issues. If a petition gets enough support, the Obama Administration will issue an official response.

You can view and sign the petition here:

Here's some more information about this petition:

Repeal U.S Code Title IV-D child support sections which require each state to establish and enforce child support orders. The establishment and enforcement of Child Support is the most insidious factor affecting separated parents of today. The 1960's argument of
unequal employment opportunity for women is no longer valid, as is the Child Support system based on that argument. According to the "Review of the Statewide Uniform Child Support Guideline 2010-Report", repeal is
blatantly obvious. It sounds ludicrous but be open-minded, look beyond the old ideology of child support, and seriously analyze the results of implementing repeal. You will find the pros by far out-weigh the cons. Repeal to the insidious Title IV-D child support sections makes perfect sense that immediately resolve a great number of issues associated with child support.
This solution truly insures equality for both parents in custody matter

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Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Child Support History.