Child Support Is For The Children
Child Support is for the children, not to get you in a bigger house or a new car or suv. I am in the same house I was in before I gained custody; when I was paying Child Support. I have the same suv and only recently bought a "new" car, a small 4 door that gets 35+ mpg-I have a 120 mile round trip commute daily.
I applied for Child Support six months after I gained custody of my two children. CSE was taking the paymets out of my ex's paycheck each payday, twice monthly. She started in arrears-support was back dated to when I applied-but arrears was ordered as $100.00 monthly, $50.00 per payday. No big deal...she paid for eight months until she "got sick" and ran out of sick days and personal days. Now she hasn't paid for May, June, July and up to now in August. I called my CSE Office and asked what could be done back in June. Since my ex lives in another state my case was made interstate; now my state's CSE is working with her state's CSE. My Case Manager asked my to give it 90 days to get everything in place. That will be up in about two weeks. Yes I can afford to raise my children right now without the Support money; but it is a bit more challenging. My present wife is a great money manager though. She and I are doing without the extras we may want but my children are not doing without; they have everything they need- clothes, school supplies, shoes, food and especially love-everything except Child Support each month that is.
My daughter is 14 and an Honor Student, she knows what is going on. My son is 12 and had had a rough life until I gained custody. He has come a long way in 23 months and I think he will be fine-I believe in him! He knows but does not say much except "that figures" and "good luck getting the money she owes." My wife and I do not discuss the Child Support in front of or with my children but when my daughter noticed the "extra things" weren't as frequent she asked if her mom had stopped paying-she is an Honor Student. We told her the truth and left it at that, no big explanation or anything, just the truth.
Their mother has not called or asked for a visit this Summer. She has only texted my daughter a couple of times this Summer but will not answer any of my daughter's questions.
Okay, I have been long winded but here is my point. Do not discuss with your children any more than what they ask about and do not bash your ex, just be truthful with your children but not too detailed. And reember, Child Support is for the children and their needs, not the custodial parents needs. If your ex owes Chid Support, pursue it! Make phone calls to your CSE Office. My Attorney, the one that gained custody for me, recommended the County Attorney and a $25.00 fee to initially get Child Support; or as she put it "Or you can pay me thousands of dollars and I can pursue it for you." Make some calls, do it for your children!