Child support laws archaic

by Donna Wilke
(Albany, NY)

My sons' father is totally delinquent when taking responsibility for the son he says he loves so much. He works under the table to avoid paying support, and has slid through the system so far, even though he is taken to court for violation. Although he has visitation rights, he is inconsistent and visits very infrequently...sometimes not showing up and disappointing his 3 1/2 year old son who doesn't understand. The law for visitation needs to be desperately changed. Allowing these men to see their children is like saying you can have them, but don't worry about feeding or clothing them. Child protective services defines this as maltreatment and neglect...there's something wrong!! As a mother who cherishes her son, it hurts my heart and soul to know that he will be disappointed. It would be more appropriate for a father to have to pay support for the privilege of being around his child... then we would see how many of them would step up to the plate and do the right thing. If I did not feed or cloth my son, the authorities would take him from me...isn't this the same thing?

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AMEN!!! Thank you!
by: mom "won" custody

Exactly! My ex has evaded child support for ten years now. These deadbeats cry for custody and visitation to neglect paying child support. If any of these guys parenting skills were held to the standards CPS holds mom to....they wouldn't have father's rights for long! We are NOT held to the same standard at all. All we mom's want is so simple. Food and clothing for our kids and help with babysitting so we can work. What we get is hundreds of thousands of dollars in legal fees, drug testing, psychological testing, blah blah blah. My children's "father" has even threatened to kill the kids if I report him for nonpayment. Yet the law guardian still fights for his visitation rights! If you read all the mens comments all they do is complain about having to pay support. Father's Rights=child support evasion.

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I agree!
by: Nicole [Harlem, New York]

I undesrtand what all of you are going through, and it hurts my heart to read these stories. I have a 22 month old daughter that only gets $40 a week from her father. He is a truck driver, that owns a home in philly, car, and is renting the rooms in the house.I tried to do the right thing by not involving the courts, and as parents we would decide on what out daughter needed. In the beginning things were fine, but he has been lax with payments, and his visiting his daughter is a JOKE. One day he said he was coming, and NEVER showed up. He has done this on several ocassions, yet he whines about how much he loves his "princess".
I am a Home Health Aide here in New York, and I don't make much. I pay for her childcare, clothing etc..He had the audacity to say: "well, she doesn't need that much money"! Who the HELL are you to decide that? He gives $40 a week[barley] and acts like a f#$ckin' big shot.

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AMEN!
by: Anonymous

Why is it when the non-custodial parent doesn't have to pay child support but can see the child anytime and if that is withheld, the custodial parent can lose the child?!?!?!
So yes, I agree, if the non-custodial parent is able to pay child support, than he should get to see the child.
But if he is being sly and not getting paid salary that is taxed, how do you get them to pay?
That is something I would love to see happen, as it is happening to my daughter as we speak.
He exercises his visitations with his child, but lives in a different state and has no rent, bills or any out of pocket expenses, his parent pays for all of this and he gets money from his parent and is spending money all the time to eat out and do what he wants when he has his child, but when the mother has the child, he doesn't pay child support!
Where is the law? The child still needs monetary support when not with him!
Time to change the laws!!!!!!!!!

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