Childless Father

by Robert
(Anywhere, USA)

My ex and I were never married, we were together for 10 yrs. We have three great kids together. Plus when we met she had two boys from a previous marriage. I raised them til the ages of 21 and 18. I have an 8 yrs old daugher, 6 yr old son and 3 yr old daughter. Things got tough were we lived, I had a small business, that dissolved. so I went back to driving a truck.

She had arranged to get another house in the same process, I found out later, my name wasn't on the lease or anything. My ex had access to my account because I had direct deposit so she could pay bills and buy food. A few weeks later I get a call from my oldest daughter, she was crying, wanted to know why mommy had another man in the house hugging and kissing him. I of course had no answer for her....but tried to calm her. I immediately changed the password on my account, called her, asked if 600.00 a month would be enough for the kids, she said yes.

At first I was able to call my kids everyday, morning before school and at night when they went to bed. I would tell stories or sing to them so they could sleep. I got to see them for a day or two about once a month. A couple of hours on Thanksgiving, because her boyfriend was out of town. The week after Thanksgiving he and her went on a 7 day vacation to Lake Tahoe.

After she returned, I was informed I talk to my kids to much and onec a week will do fine. I didn't like it, but that is the way it is. All this time I am sending her money. I was then informed I wasn't allowed there for Christmas. I asked if I could call them Christmas Eve and read them a Christmas story at least, she said ok, fine.

I decided to continue driving through the holidays, I was in Clovis,NM I called and texted her a few times as to when a good time was to call my kids. After some time she responded and said I was rude for interupting their evening. I went to sleep, thinking I wasn't going to talk to my kids, my oldest called me around 11 pm that night. Said mom's boyfriend bought her a new car and they were out joy riding. My other babies were asleep, but my oldest let me read her the story. Again for the next Holiday, I was told I wasn't invited for New Years, so I took a load to Seattle, Wa.

My ex called me mid week, wanting to know when I was coming to see the kids. At this point I was totally confused. I just said, I can be there a week from Friday, she said, that won't work, I will be in Jaimaca for two weeks for my birthday. I wasn't allowed to call or go by while she was gone. She removed the phones from the house and threatened to have me arrested if I went to the house. I finally got to have Christmas with my babies Jan. 27 2012. in a motel room because I'm not allowed in her home.

She just resently went on another 5 day vaction back to Lake Tahoe where she was proposed to. My two youngest have birthdays the first part of March and I'm not invited, I can see them the next day, but not at the party so I have been warned. I have no idea what I did, I remember supporting her and two boys that were not mine, plus my three in a 10 yr span, giving all I have for them, to wind up feeling like I did before I met her, "Living and Dieing Alone". The amount we agreed upon is paid to date.

The thing that concerns me is my kids are being watched by her 19 yr old son.... thats another story...Anyone reading this can contact me at if you have any ideas, insights or comments. Thank you for reading this. I really have no one to talk to about this, I drive, and all I do is think, its been the hardest 5 months in my entire life.


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Fight Back
by: Anonymous

Sounds like you need to focus on some good legal advice and help. Quit letting her call all the shots, these days if you are willing to be a father the Judge will let you as long as paternity is proven. Most men are running from not to this responsibility! As far as the children are concerned when they start to see what their Mother has done to you and them, it will be her they end up resenting. Economy is hard so if you have to keep on trucking that's o.k. at least you're teaching them values like work, honesty, morals. Don't stray from that and just keep letting them know you are out there thinking about them and will always love them! It will all work out in your favor; patience will get you everywhere.

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