What is the real truth

by Ruiz
(ny)

I am an angry woman. Some will say that I am scorned but what is the real story? I married a seemingly good and kind man who wanted children. He left his first wife because she was unable to give him children. I came to love him and had an operation to give him a child and ended up giving him two. Through years of alcoholism and cocaine habits (that I was unaware of) I became embittered and angry because no matter how much I did the right thing, he did not. He has dishonored the home, kids, and me. He taught the kids to disrespect me by openly disrespecting me. I packed up his belongings and made him leave. When I told him to take his son that was verbally abusing me and disregarding the house rules, he called the cops on me, in reality, he does not want the responsibility. He pays what he wants, when he wants, if he wants.


He is known as a man in the community that is a little league coach. Wants to be viewed as a hero to all his friends and neighbors, though he doesn't care what his wife or kids think of him. He says he does not want the pressure that is included in keeping our home so he runs and creates a new one with an unsuspecting new victim telling her that I am a nag and demanding too much. (The exact names he uses for me are not nice so I won't include them)

You men think that after you walk away leaving hearts and homes broken, you have no obligations. You call us money hungry, and bitches you leave us with all the bills we cannot afford and responsibilities we did not ask for and you criticize us.

BEFORE YOU DECIDE TO MAKE A FAMILY, THINK! IS THIS WHAT YOU REALLY WANT! ARE YOU WILLING TO SACRIFICE FOR IT! ARE YOU WILLING TO LEAVE YOUR SELFISH WAYS IN THE PAST AND MAKE YOUR FAMILY AND HOME YOUR PRIORITY? IF NOT, DON'T MAKE ONE BECAUSE IF YOU DO, THEN STOP COMPLAINING WHEN YOU HAVE TO PAY CHILD SUPPORT, AND STOP LEAVING THE JOBS JUST TO SPITE THE WIVES SAYING NOW SHE CAN'T GET ANYTHING FROM YOU. AND STOP THINKING IT'S OK TO GIVE THE MINIMUM SO YOUR QUALITY OF LIFE CAN CONTINUE EVEN THOUGH THOSE YOU LEFT BEHIND HAVE TO SACRIFICE AND STRUGGLE.

Thank you for the opportunity to vent and speak truth for the sake of many of us women...

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There is a way...

Every time your ex-wife does not allow you to see your children, or gives you a hard time, file a police report. The police will say that they do not get involved because it is a civil issue; just let them know that you just want to file a report so that there is a record of it. Later, this report will hold ground when you propose it to a judge. You can also contact CPS; file a report and let them know that you have a concern about your child's well being. They may say that you qualify (child) for an investigation or may not. There has to be some very serious things going on for them to consider an investigation, i.e. physical abuse, malnutrition, lice, smells, etc.

Keep a record of everything your spouse tells you that are negative. Keep a record of everything your ex- spouse's new husband, wife tells you.

When you build up enough information files for a court hearing (Suing them for contempt). The first time, the Judge will just slap them on the wrist. The second time it happens, look out, the Judge will put them in Jail or revoke their license. This has happen to me (male), and my ex-wife did not allow me to see my sons. My ex did not report where she lived and her new husband would harass me.

Never respond to your ex or rebuke them, just let them speak their minds, and later you will have control of the situation.

I took her to court and found in her in contempt. Now, I'm able to see my sons.

Patients and smarts- they work.

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What happens when it's the opposite...


(Powell/Knoxville, TN)

I am the "step-parent" in a bad situation. We haven't gotten married because we both know how bad marriages can end, especially with kids involved. In our case, it's not that the mother won't let him see their daughter, it's that she refuses to drive the 4 hour (2 hours one way) drive to come pick her up. They typically meet halfway, ever since she moved the two hours south to live with her boyfriend. However, my boyfriend works shift work and she doesn't and he'll drive the whole way at least once a month to get her earlier in the day so he can meet the hour requirements, as well as to get extra time with her. Child care is factored into the child support, but when she pulls these stunts and won't drive the whole way, we have to pay her child support AND arrange child care. Because of shift work, we can't find a "drop in" babysitter except for our neighbor who is 50 a day! We live in TN, what can be done about this? Essentially he's paying child support that isn't being used at all some months and we're struggling to make ends meet as is. If there is any action to take, how long would we have to wait before we take action?




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