Custodial Mother

by Donna
(CIbolo, Tx, USA)

My ex started out in 2002 paying 240 a month for 3 kids. He now owes me 25 grand completely in back support and has fled the state. While I work, their stepfather and I support the children, 2 of whom are still in high school. The OAG offers little to no help once someone has fled the state. I am only one of thousands like me that the system has failed, repeatedly. We have struggled for years. He was ordered to pay medical, but we pay it. He is supposed to re-imburse me for those costs. There are always deductibles and parts that insurance does not pay, therefore I am in debt up to my ears. My children have all worked and while he is now supposed to now pay 550 a month, they are amazed that even they as teenagers could pay that said amount. I have filed complaint after complaint, with valid arguments. But once they are gone, forget about , the state will abandon you. Sorry, I have no belief that they will ever be of any real help. To be sent to jail for 180 days is laughable as, due to overcrowding of jails, most , if not all, are let out after 30 days. I realize there are bad moms out there as well, so I am not prejudiced against anyone but non-paying, non-custodial parents. My case in reality is a state felony child support evasion, but will never, in my estimation be viewed as such, unless he is found out of state. So good luck and God bless all who do suffer the same fight for justice.

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Im the child understanding whats happening, and needs help.
by: Child of dilemma

It may come to a surprise to people that at the age of 16 i was hearing from my mom that my "real father" owed a child support of 20,000$. And even at the age 18 now i read this and is amazed how Texas wont do anything about this. My mom is to the point where she doesn't care about life anymore. Shes fought for me for 18 years and the scum bag finds ways around the system. I work full time and go to school part time because we never have had the money for a big college for me. Now that im old enough to understand, i want and need to do something about this. If anyone is able to help us in this problem it would be great full for me and everyone else having this problem. Parents, you really need to be talking to your children about this problem as well. They have a say in this and would possibly, maybe change the laws on child support in the Texas.

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So agree
by: clumzyklutz

I agree with you and another poster about this same situation. It's a terrible system where good parents have to pay and bad parents get to continue doing what they're doing! I have a similar situation where I have 2 children and my ex husband is near $10,000 in debt. I don't need the money, as my husband and I are financially well off, BUT it's the principle. Why should we have to sacrifice everything when it took two to tango?! While I understand I made a bad decision in ever marrying this man and having kids with him, that shouldn't give him a free pass! I know exactly where he lives and he sees the kids every other weekend. They go out and have a great time doing fun things while I have to tell them "Sorry" because I'm trying to make sure they have a generous college fund! Yet no enforcement action has ever been taken, no license ever suspended...not even a slap on the wrist when we go in for our 3 year evaluations! Not to mention, they have a very poisonous living situation over there where him and his gf bad mouth me, the children have access to things like alcohol and cigarettes and they're not properly supervised! But because it's all here-say from my children and I can't prove it with pictures, I have to continue letting it happen. I just wish the system would start working for the good parents. Maybe they should start taking a look into each case because I know great mothers and fathers out there who are suffering due to Texas OAG! God Bless all the other good parents out there who are frustrated... I wish you all the best.

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...
by: Anonymous

"just be happy that u have ur kids life is not always about having the other parents money"....

Shame on whoever posted this comment...I bet you are a non custodial parent who gets away with not paying, or someone who has tons of money and isnt affected by the financial stresses of life...I am tired of hearing about how the mother is the always the money hungry b*tch...Well grow a pair and take care of your responsibility, it takes two to make a baby!...The money is for your kids!!! Not the parent!! The mom (in most cases, but there are some fathers) is the one who takes care of the kids 24-7 and deals with way more than the non custodial parent does in a weekend visit! So seriously, shut the f*ck up, get a job and pay what youre supposed to!

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i guess
by: Anonymous

just be happy that u have ur kids life is not always about having the other parents money.

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Understanding Mother:)
by: Anonymous

I read your words, and how sooo much we relate. As of this date today October 12th 2010,My daughter is owed $22,523.57 and Medical Coverage. He didn't flee the state and I have always had a current address for where-ever he is or was, he lives with his Mother and stays un-employed and he is very able and capable of working. Although, there has been a collection process, we have yet to see any support in 10 years. Nor has he served any time in the courts or jail after being given the order. He has no valid reason for not paying support other than he just doesn't do it:( I Just don't know what to do either, and yes I agree, We feel very abandoned my the Justice System in these matters.Working, Paying For Medical, the After School Programs so I can work, Daily Living and Life, being a Teacher doesn't pay very much at all and we barely survive.There just seems to be no "REAL ADVOCATE" for the Custodial Parent:(

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