Dead beat dad gets away with violating laws repeatedly!

by Rebecca
(Illinois)

I'm sure my story is similar to many other people dealing with a dead beat parent. So, we've had a child support order for over 3 years now. My son will turn 5 in November. His Father has made a total of 23 payments in 3 + years. He continues to take me back to court for downward modifictions. These modifications are granted (regaurdless of how I feel or our child's needs) and then he still won't pay. So far this year I recieved a tax intercept in March, he took me to court in April and was granted another downward modification and now here it is June and I still have not recieved a payment.


His child support has been lowered from $80.00 per week to $35.00 per week over the past 3+ years. He owes over $10,000 in past due support and interest. I just found out today that he's already requested another downward modification- it was just modified to $35.00 per week on April 13 and today is June 23! I have heard from several friends of his that he's been working cash jobs and not reporting his income. He took me to court for visitation, of course I did not fight him on that.

We came to an agreement quikly and easily, however he's already violated the agreement several times and cut his visits short. He's only had 2 visits with his son, who before now has not seen him in 9 months. His visit on Father's Day was cut 4 hours short, he did not feed him lunch and was not prepared for the heat. It is rediculous to me that the enforcement of the laws put in to place for child support is pretty much absent. I understand that there are good fathers out there that are willing to pay thier support and sometime's need a break.

However, there are also ead beats out there that abuse the system and make it hard for the good fathers. I think there should be a cap on how many times you're allowed to lower your support if you still don't pay after a downward modification has been granted. I think there should be laws in place that punish dead beat dad's as well as protect dad's who are trying to be there for the children they father. The kids are the one's who suffer when you don't pay your support!I am a full-time student, trying to make a better life for myself and 2 young sons.

Why aren't there laws to ensure the custodial parents get the support that has been ordered? Why aren't the current laws enforced? Every time I get a hold of someone to try to do something about non-payment, I get NO WHERE! I tried to have him held in contempt, but they only put him on probation. When my brother-in-law was late on one payment, they put him in jail- AND HE'S A GOOD DAD! I really think there needs to be a MAJOR change in the enforcement of these laws- what's the point of a court order if he is allowed to get away will violating it over and over with no consequences?!

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Aug 22, 2011
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concerned
by: Anonymous

I am a parent and i have a girlfriend/grandmother of 3 kids. The court ordered him to pay back child support of 52,000 dollars plus 500.00 a month. He was in contempt of court for not showing up. what can be done to solve this proplem. I feel that the mom doesn't want to make herself look like the bad person to her kids. This is not right since she has now lost her house and filed for bankruptcy.

Jul 02, 2011
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Child support has everything to do with visitation
by: Anonymous

I am a grandmother. My grandkid's father, most of the time has plans other than picking up the children at the designated times but requests the next day or the next for the mother to have them ready for him to take somewhere. I call this manipulation and controlling plans the mother may have. This should be contempt of court. Not only does this occur but the father does not pay court-ordered support as the judge requested. One of the children has special needs and treatments and the father fails to do those treatments when he has the child. So why doesn't the court do something? Why is it the courts in Texas think joint custody is the best interest of the children when the possessory parent not only doesn't pay and creates a burden on the custodial parent but then decides on his weekends the time he will actually pick them up making everyone's life, especially the kids, miserable? How is this in the best interest of the child? And is there anyone out there who has actually had the court put someone in jail for saying they don't make any money when they work for cash on the side? This is taking a toll on the mother providing as he flips his nose at the courts. Also, does a custodial parent have to wait on a dad who decides when he is coming and ruin plans of everyone?

Nov 11, 2009
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GROW UP AND QUIT JUSTIFYING SOME OF THESE MENS BEHAVIORS
by: Anonymous

DO YOU HONESTLY BELIEVE ALL WOMEN ARE INTERESTED IN IS THE MONEY, I DONT THINK SO! WHEN YOUR OUT THERE PAYING DAY CARE FOR KIDS, FEEDING THEM , HOUSING THEM, CLOTHING THEM, DOING ALL THIS BY YOURSELF ON 12.00/HR AND YOU GET BEHIND BECAUSE YOU CANT GET HELP ANY WHERE ELSE. SO YOU WORK 60
HOURS A WEEK YOU GET TO SEE YOUR KIDS ONCE IN A GREAT WHILE AND ON SUNDAYS ONLY, YOU HAVE NO FAMILY LIFE WHAT SO EVER. YOUR KIDS MISS YOU. WE MISS OUR KIDS. YOU DONT HAVE RELIABLE SITTERS. YOUR LIFE IS SO STRESSED WITH DOING EVERYTHING ON YOUR OWN, THEY CAN LIVE ON $2,400.00 ALONE AND NOT GOING TO HELP OUT WITH ANY SUPPORT WHAT SO EVER. WHAT KIND OF LOVE IS THAT FOR YOUR CHILD. IT SAYS THESE PEOPLE ARENT GOING TO CARE ABOUT YOU OR YOUR KIDS THE SOCIAL SERVICE SEE THIS. MY EX SAYS HE'S NOT GOING TO SUPPORT ANY BODY WHO ISNT LIVING IN HIS HOUSE AND YOU HAD TO DO EVERYTHING HIS WAY OR HIT THE ROAD. THERE WAS NO COMPROMISING. HE HAD THIS ATTITUDE IN COURT, AND ITS ALLOWED. HE GOES TO JAIL FOR THE NIGHT ON OTHER VIOLATION THEY KNOW HE HAS A WARRENT OUT ON CHILD SUPPORT AND THEY STILL LEAVE HIM OUT..I DONT CARE TO BE IN THE SYSTEM OR DEAL WITH CERTAIN KINDS OF PEOPLE. IVE NEVER SEEN SO MUCH BULL CRAP IN MY LIFE...I THINK POPLE SOULD QUIT SUPPORTING SOME LAWYERS, SOME
HEALTH CENTER THAT ARE ALLOWED TO MAKE FINAL DESCISIONS. IT REALLY COMES DOWN TO WHO YOU TRUST, AND IF YOU DONT KNOW FOR SURE DONT DO IT...

Nov 11, 2009
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Frustrated
by: Alicia Bodwell

I am in the same situation. My ex-husband hasn't seen or talked to his children in 3 years and owes over $15,000 in back child support. He too is working under the table and there is nothing I can do about it. I have been with my current husband for 3 years and he has done soooo much for our girls. He loves the as if they are his own. My ex just brought me back to court because he wants to see his children ( even though he could have through out the last 3 years) and they are ready to let him just walk back in like nothing ever happened. My 4 year old has no clue who he even is. When we were in court I brought up the back child support and the judge just brushed it off. Because I put up such a fight about him seeing them due to it not being a safe situation the judge ordered a guardian ad litem and we are required to pay half ($500) even though we are struggling to pay our mortgage. Again, what about the $15,000 he owes in support. I could afford it then if I was getting that. And if I do pay for this GAL chances are he will still get what he wants because the state of Maine believes that no matter what the situation the dad should be able to see his children even if they are a drunk, drug addict, abusive person that he is.

Sep 14, 2009
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DEAD BEAT DADS ARE DEAD BEAT HUSBANDS THATS WHY THEYRE DIVORCED
by: Anonymous

SOME OF THESE PEOPLE NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY YOU CAN GO TO COUNSELING AND SOME JUST ARENT GOING TO COOPERATE. WITH NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO EVEN TRYING TO GET ALONG JUST FOR THE KIDS SAke ITS A BIG CONTROL ISSUE.NOT ONLY WITH THE MAN AND WOMAN WITH THE SYSTEM AND WHEN COUSELING IS INVOVED. THEY SEPERATED MY Two SON gave me one and him the other kid I even told the guardian a litem that he mentioned if he had to go to counseling with the kid he wouldnt go!!!This is a man that made a lot of money filed a 6 million dollar dedt. started drinking very heavy and got custody of a 6 year old boy. who has big time problems now..people just dont care they dont do there jobs and there not seeing the picture.they do not care about our kids at all..

Aug 10, 2009
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I so understand you
by: Anonymous

I feel you, my ex has a warrant out for his arrest because he has over 3 DWI's yet he manages to stay out of jail and still drink up a storm. He is always late with child support changing jobs like he changes his underwear so he won't get anything deducted. I am trying to go to school and work and it is so hard. If I would have his support it would take a little bit off my stress. We have other payments and he is as well respobsible for what the child needs. And it's not about the money it's mainly about been responsible for having a child, As for me fortunately my daughter doesn't need anything thanks to me but like he wants to his his daughter and he has all the rights yet my daughter has all the same rights for he father to provide for her. Why do they think that the money they are giving is going for you and a girl's night out? The money is for their daughter's needs. Because they need a lot of things. You should not worry about the other stupid comments until that girls gets to be in our same shoes which she will then she should be aloud to comment. BEcause she doesn't see the whole picture.

Jul 14, 2009
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Hold That Thought!
by: Anonymous

My fiance is in jail for back child support and hasn't seen his kids in 2 years because she constantly moves and doesn't tell him where she lives.The reason you are going through this crap is because some mothers feel the money is more important than the relationship so Child Support Agencies are all about the money! He's in this mess because of the economy and she gets away with keeping his kids from him, so blame moms like you who think more about money than the "best interest of the child"! You're ex may participate more in visitation if you'd get off his back!

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