Deadbeat dad robbed his own son.

by Kathleen
(Virginia)

I married my son's father when I was 3 month pregnant as we were planning to get married anyway. Soon after son was born, he began cheating on me and lying to me as well as calling me all sorts of names. I left him when my son turned 3. He agreed to pay alimony which I told him I did not need and he agreed to pay child support. This was back in 1993 and he agreed to allow me to move out of state with our son giving me sole physical and legal custody.

I tried to get him to pay the support but all I got was an occasional card addressed to my son with 5 dollars in it and saying to make sure HE got the money.. whoopee 5 whole dollars. I remarried in 1996 and ended up leaving a brand new marriage in early 1997 to reestablish residency in VA to get child support and he was so adamant about not wanting to send me the money, he registered himself with DCSE.

When my son was about 12, my ex went to jail but because he put himself with DCSE the support could not be suspended until his release. Three years later, he was released and stayed out of trouble and went back with his 2nd wife for about a year. That is when he started using crack again and came to NJ and robbed me and my son before fleeing back to VA. He then committed another crime here in VA and went back to jail for another 3 years and since his release, he has been working off the books and avoiding his obligation of past due support.

My son is now 21 and is happily engaged and has a wonderful relationship with his step dad to whom I am no longer married. I would like to go after my ex for the support but not for myself but to give my son a savings for his future as I have already spent the money to raise, feed ,clothe and shelter him. Through all the years, my ex spoke badly about me to my son yet I refused to do the same so now I have my sons love and respect and his "sperm donor" as my son calls his father is left with nothing as his only child has no respect for him. He was his own worst enemy in trying to turn his child against me.

I guess he felt he would "win" in the end as if it were some sort of contest but in the end he has lost what is most important. The love and respect of his only child!