Deadbeat Dad

by Betty Thompson
(Roswell, NM, USA)

Girls abandoned by their Father

Girls abandoned by their Father

What happens when the father quits his job and runs home to live with his mother's and doesn't work. The father of my girls did just that. He has not paid in over a year now, and has not called them since June of this year. When not just give up your rights to your children if you do not plan on supporting them and stay out of their lives forever. This is what I think, he should do. He sends them a message, saying they may not here from him for awhile. I told not to call again, they are not toys to play with when he wants. What kind of father would totally abandon his children? I only want was is owed to my girls. I have one with learning disabilities and the other with Type 1 Diabetes. They are very wonderful girls and very talented. Both are very agree with their dad. We don't bring up his name very often.


My girls are in high school, and he has not been in their lives very much. My husband has been the only Dad they can count on. He moved away when the girls were still very young(5 and 7). He lives here in Lovington, New Mexico with his mom. Who does not care if he pays his child support or not. He has a bench warrant for contempt of court for not appearing in court for a child support matter in May2011. He owes over $24,000.00 in arrears.

I have never met a man so cold and heartless as him. So easily he pushed them out of his life. With no worry about how they are taken care of, or if they have the things they need. God will make sure he pays his dues, it will only be a matter of time. He will get caught, and he will pay for what he owes my girls.

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too much venom
by: Anonymous

nearly every person that commented on this page is guilty of dragging the other half of there own children thru the gutter. regardless of your personal feelings about them they are one half of your children, maybe everyone would be best served to keep there disapprobation to themselves as much as possible.

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MY STORY FOR MOMS AND DADS!
by: Krissy

I am a single mother of a beautiful little girl. I work full time and still find time to spend five day out of the week for my babygirl. not all mothers are angels but the perants out there like me who are providing for and loving there children enough for both parents should be reconized and whether your'e a mother or a father. gender shouldn't matter this is about what is best for the kids and the court doesn't have that in mind all the time but they should! I was engadged for six months, bought the wedding dress and we were planning everything, while he quite his job and i paid for everything, then I became pregnant and he was gone two and a half weeks later and didn't even see my daughter till she was 8 months old. and has played her like a yoyo ever since. has not paid a penny in support couldn't even sign his own name for her first birthday card... i found out his mother signed it for him! I think it's in the best intrest of my little girl if he just stays away till she is old enought to decide whether or not she wants sto meet him. till then i will protect my baby till i die! and thats how it should be!
BE A GOOD PARENT DO WHATS RIGHT FOR YOUR CHILDREN PAY WHAT YOU OWE YOUR BABY WHETHER YOUR A MOTHER OR FATHER.
IT TAKES TWO MINS OR RESPONSIBLITY TO BECOME A PARENT... BUT A LIFETIME OF RESPONSIBILITY TO BE A MOMMY OR A DADDY!!!!!!!!!!!!

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i think most the mothers are the deadbeats
by: Anonymous

i'm a guy that is being bullied by the system i read a comment on here where the woman said the guy was having his 15'th kid well my babies mamma and I were young when we had our daughter 6 months after having her she cheated on me and had her cousin claim that i cheated with her to try to make it sound alright well i stuck around for a lil while before comming home to her locked in a room with another guy.my daughter was her first child now she has three and 5 months pregnant with another mans child nopw all 4 of her kids are gonna have 4 baby daddies and she still tries to keep me from my daughter even though i have no faily here and the only reason i am here is to be near my daughter she is even trying to get more child support living in a nice big house while im in a small apartment barely able to keep up rent now how can you justify that type of crap getting close to 3'000a month btween 3 baby daddies and getting ready to be paid more when she gets the fourth baby daddy for child support YOU WOMAN DO NOTHING BUT USE US MEN TO PAY YOUR WAYS AND DO EVERYTHING AS YOU WOMEN SEE FIT SORRY BUT WE AS MEN HAVE RIGHTS TOO THE WAY I SEE IT GETTING PREGNANT JUST SO YOU CAN GET CHILD SUPPORT SHOULD BE CONSIDERED A FELONY VERSION OF PROSTITUTION

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Reality check
by: Anonymous

Not all dads are dead beats. The system is very flawed. Fight, fight, fight spends ten of thousands of dollars you dont have only to still fight. Yet all dads even the great ones are categorized. What about dead beat abusuve moms who are given chance after chance and the child suffers?

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from a man raising someone elses kids
by: Anonymous

I married my beautiful wife a couple years ago and love her kids as my own. Her ex beat her and got into drugs. I feed clothe protect and love those girls so much but get so frustrated that he will not pay child support or give up his rights so I can adopt them.And to make it worse my wife still sends them to see him. He lives with his mom and doesn't work men like that aren't father's they are chumps. My wife makes it worse by still sending them there. I pay for everything for them and he does nothing. I will love and support her kids forever but my wife is pushing me away. MAN UP AND TAKE CARE OF YOUR KIDS

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A father that wants a chance.
by: Support

I'm a single father in California. I've been around my son his whole life. Until he was 3 years old when my ex and I split. She took my son and went to her mothers house to live in. I'm 30 years old and shes 38 years old. I live on my own, Pay Rent, Bills and work. Im always going to make more money than her because my goal in life was to give my son a better life than my own. She doesnt care about giving my son a better life because she is ghetto and lives in a ghetto area plus has only work at Mc Donalds her whole life. She doesnt plan to be independant. I have found out that she doesnt take him to school or pick him up from school, its the grandparents. She wrks part time from 12pm to 6pm. I have told her that I would not have a problem taking him to shool and picking him up and she can pick him up on weekend. I'm asking to all mothers and dads give the other parent a chance to reconnect. Leave the money out of this. Its all about the child and not about money. If you cant afford to give your child a better life be honest to yourself and for those hard working mothers and fathers. Keep moving forward and dont give up. Our children will notice which ones are the most.

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Plain and Simple
by: Anonymous

It's plain and Simple....Better he's away than in their lives if he 's going to act this way...The Girls wont lose, it's going to be his Lost and I swear he will PAY!!!!!!...Keep taking care of the girls and things will work out the way God has in motion....Dont worry Be Happy!!!...I been here and I have Faiith and nomore Worries...Please Do the Same!!!

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Kid who knows nothing
by: Anonymous

to Kid who lived through a divorce,

YOUR mother is certainly not a reflection of MOST of the women out there struggling to take care of their children ALONE. You are obviously just a KID, and know nothing other than the little you have lived. It is understandable that you have a problem with women, but you are sadly biased in the wrong direction.

Grow up a little and learn about the world, and you will realize that most MEN are the problem in this situation, because a REAL parent (ie: usually the mother) would starve to let their child eat - so many men just fly the coop and HIDE like the cowards they are.

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The system and mother's often make deadbeat dads.
by: Anonymous

"You ask what kind of man would abandon his kids " That is exactly why I wait patiently believing my kid will figure it out someday and come ask me why I never did anything. It's then that I'll welcome him home to the family taken away from him. I believe it's never too late to (re)connect with family. I may not have a job, not trying and can't seem to land one anyway, but that wouldn't have mattered, my family is supportive and we do well by sticking together. So yes you could consider me a deadbeat dad by many of your standards, but I wasn't the one who ran off with our kid, forced to cut off contact, and I had child support slapped in my face on top of that. Mothers and the system are what often create deadbeat dads, had the court said, "No, the child will spend equal amounts of time at both houses and no money would be exchanged." My family and I would be with my kid right now hopefully making them happy and very well educated.

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info
by: Anonymous

for the person that lived through a divorce, I'm sorry you had to go through that as a child and never for one minute believe any of that was your fault. But there was things that could of been done, at a certain age you can tell a judge who you want to live with. Also equal joint custody when you spend equal time with each parent and no child support is paid to either parent. you don't need a lawyer to file paper work at the courthouse, you can do it on your own and go in front of a judge I believe it is called rule of to show cause and you can fill that paper out with what ever you want....rule to show cause for joint custody, rule to show cause on why a parent isn't paying child support, rule of cause to show why a parent isn't paying child support.

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I'm not paying for a kid I don't even know
by: Anonymous

The father of my son took off with the kid when he was 11 months old, now my son is 16 and come to find out that his dad is after me for child support!30,000!!!! Don't hold your breath you ain't getting a dime!!!!! YOU took him YOU take care of him!!!

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Loser Dad
by: Anonymous

My comment is regading my sons' father. He moved out of state and recently just had his 15th child. Yes, I said 15!! He pays no child support because he always works for cash. The attorney general's office says its my responsibility to let them know where he is and where he's working. I dont have his address and of course he isnt gonna tell me where he's working. When he calls, which is about once a year, he calls private. My oldest son is 13 and my youngest is 11. They have not recieved a dime from their father. What can I do? The interstate system is not working. I live in TX he lives in CT. Any advice?

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Deadbeat Dad and Cocaine abuser, drug dealer
by: Deborah Mulchi

My grandaughter is 3 years old and her father has never stepped up with any support. He was awarded visitation by mediators and was supposed to pay support for the past two years. Nothing....and the courts still haven't done a thing. My daughter works full time and has since she was 16. On top of that he was arrested for cocaine possession and drug trafficking. DSS wants us to let her go back to her dads because he hasn't been convicted in court yet......so were supposed to put her little life in danger around possible lethal drugs in the house along with all his drugged up buddies....OVER MY DEAD BODY!!!! The system is failing our children. My pastor says he sees it every day and they will not do anything until she gets hurt. He doesn't even have a drivers license or properly registered vehicle. The judges and DSS and courts are a hoot! Its all about the money..That's all the vicious circle, attorney, court, judge, continuation, blah, blah.........its the almighty dollar.........gone rogue grandma!!!

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Total loser
by: Anonymous

I have three sons by my husband. We've been separated for over 2 yrs due to his inability to quit assaulting me. The first year, i had an order against him and he deployed. The order expired during the deployment, i emailed him pictures of the boys...and never heard back. i had to get the state to garnish his wages as he refused to pay a dime on his own. The state of WA grossly miscaculated his income, he pays about half of whst he should. He now has some broad and her kids living with him...spending tons of $...then claiming hes so broke he cant make it. To top it ofg, he got her pregnant. If hes so poor he cant pay half of what he should, and doesnt care enough about his sons to ask even once how they are, what sense does it make to have more? My boyfriend has stepped up as daddy, which i am very thankful for...

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DEADBEATS
by: Anonymous

Don't blame the mothers for the DEADBEATS. These men want to act so concerned when you tell them how the kids doing but really do not care what is going on in the kids. The DEADBEATS will do more things for children that belong to another man than their own (which is sad). The DEADBEATS that think this is cute, guess again, remember you will miss the kids in years to come. So mothers with these DEADBEATS do not worry, the DEADBEATS want you to think that you need them. WRONG

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Hiding in his country
by: Anonymous

Sorry to hear that your Ex disappear & lives with his mom. My Ex left the country and hiding there with his girlfriend and his new kids with her. He owe a business back there & live in a comfortable home with no stress to worry anyone can go after him for his debts here in the US. I have been paying his debts for the past five years & still have people are after me to look for him. My home is about to be in foreclosure. The worst thing is that I can't do much about because he is out of the country & I don't know anyway to have him pay for his child support. Whenever he contacted my children by text or phone calls, he made them feel sorry for him, he is acting like he is the victim when he is in his country with his own business & taking care of his other children with his girlfriend. What kind of a father is this????

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ugh
by: Lauren

I live very near Lovington. Less then an hour away. I am fighting that same battle with my ex. Only he has never paid and he has not seen my daughter in over 5 years. He harasses me constantly over it but when it comes down to it, he never even asks about her. He just cusses at me about a boyfriend or threatens to make my life hell if I don't give her to him. He doesn't even know if she is alive or healthy because he has never asked.

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You ask what kind of man would abandon his kids
by: Anonymous

You ask what kind of man would abandon his kids. Way too many men have been ordered to pay a high amount of child support. So much of the funds do not even go to the kids. The mom says she doesn't have money but she uses dad's child support money to go out with her boyfriend, buy herself clothes, and do what makes her happy. The courts don't take into consideration that the dad still has to keep a house large enough for the weekend visits with the kids so they can have their own room and feel safe and comfortable at dad's house too. Then there's the question on what to do when we are at dad's house. Since he's given so much money to mom there isn't any money for us to do things when we get to see dad. Also, the dad's know (and the kids too)that the mom will go to court and pretend to be broke. She will stop work before the court dates so she can say she doesnt make money. She will cry in court and tell lies and the court believes her. So why not just disappear? Dad's aren't leaving their kids, they just can't live with the BS the moms cause. Like not letting them see their kids, talking bad about the dad to the kids and the kids start to believe her, at least until we get old enough to figure out the whole scam. Mom's do more damage to kids than dad's do. And use the kids to get money from the dad.
It takes 2 people to make a baby. I think the courts are too hard on the dads and side with the moms too much. The kids of divorced parents should get to see and spend the night with both parents an equal amount of time and it shouldn't envolve ANY money being paid. that way it's fair for the kids and the mom can't make you stay at her house because she's afraid to lose some child support money if you go to your dad's house more than the court says. You are also responsible to work and take care of your kids. And maybe if you would have worked something out with your ex that he could afford to pay and still live and be able to spend time with the kids doing things with them, he would probably still be active in their lives.... The bottom line: the mom's are to blame for most of the men you call a deadbeat dad
Signed,
A kid that lived through a divorce

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Get a job
by: Anonymous

Title says it all

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Military Deadbeat
by: Anonymous

Sorry to hear bout your deadbeat but I think the father of my twins is worse cause he is in the Army and he hasn't done a thing for them. He knows more about his soldiers than his own kids. Society may see him as a HERO but if he don't get his act right my kids will see him as a ZERO. I can't stand a man that doesn't take care of his own kids. He won't even contact his own mother when she has them to ask how they are doing. so men are deadbeats whether they SERVED or not.

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