Deadbeat father quits another job, and stops paying child support

by Betty Thompson
(New Mexico)

Again the father of my girls has quit his job. He worked for maybe five months, quit and ran back to his mom. As far as I know he is still there, living off his mother. He told CSED that he is moving to NV to find a new job. So what keeping him. He has not paid child support since Sept 1, 2010, this my not seem so long. But he is over 18,0000.00 in arrears, why because he works for a short time, quits, and starts work again.

This has been going on since 2007, after the first modification has been done. Who provides for the girls during this time, my husband and I do. My husband goes out and makes extra money to make sure my girls get the things they need. He is upset because, he took care of his obligation to his children until the end. And to watch someone take advantage of the system, and get away with not paying.

I have asked my case worker to procede to do what is needed, if it means their father going to jail; then so be it. If his mother want to take care of a grown man, then she can pay his way out. I was told that his bond would be the whole about of his arrears and nothing less. Why should he sit comfortably, and do as he pleases, he can do that very well in jail. He tells stories to make everyone feel sorry for him. He has quit good jobs, just to keep from paying. He has asked for modifications, and denied because he quits. The man is almost forty, and has worked part-time jobs and had his now almost ex-wife support him. Now he is back with his mom, not working, and his mom is supporting him.

I am not a mom who has keep him from seeing the girls. He does have very strict rules on visitation, but that is his fault not mine. The girls are not upset if they do not she him, they stay very busy being teenage girls. They are lucky to see him once a year. He moved far away when they were very young, and they did not see him very much. My husband has helped me raise them for the last eight years.

Why should the children suffer because the father is a Deadbeat? The money is for the care of the children. We have provided a nice home, and good vehicle, and all the things they need. We do not spend frevolously.

One of my children was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes, the other child has learning disabilities. The child with Diabetes, I have to take her out of town to see her specialists at least 4 - 6 times a year. I work, and do my part plus more, and my husband helps me. He takes care of them like they are his own children.

Why is it so hard for men and some women to understand that it the children they are hurting. What do you say to a child, when they ask, "why can't I have this?", or "how come I can't have my allowance anymore?" When they know that they are getting money from their biological father for their support. They want and need just the same as any other child. Money does buy love, it only helps provide what is needed. Not every custodial parent goes out and spends the money unwisely. I do indeed use it to care for my children.

YOU can't run from your obligations, they will always catch up with you. It is also sad to think, that your children do not mean that much to you. My children have always been very important to me. I will always do everything I can to protect and provide for them.