Dealing with crazy baby mama

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Dealing with crazy baby mama

by Frustated
(Atlanta, ga)

Ten years ago I was in a relationship with a woman I considered myself to be in love with. I asked her to marry me and while we were engaged she got pregnant. Now let me preference this by saying that she had one child when we met as did I. I had explicitly explained to her that we could not afford another child at that time and that we needed to pool our money together to get our own place as she was living with her parents at the time. Well I learned that she was not the one for me and broke off the engagement. Shortly thereafter when my son was born I decided that maybe we could make it work as I didn't want to have another child out of wedlock. So we got engaged a second time but still we couldn't make it work so I moved on. Years later after I had found someone new she decided that she wanted to get back together but at that point it was too late. When she found out I was getting married - my child is now five - she went to the courts to file child support. Even though I was giving her money and trying to see my son when she wasn't being difficult. Now we are going back and forth in child support court because they are trying to make me pay more than I can afford. I make my payments on time and they still garnished my wages and suspended my license without my knowledge. I drive for a living, if I had gotten arrested for a suspended license I would have lost my job and no one would have gotten child support. But still I have to pay for the incompetence of our child support system but yet I get no visitation with my son. She is contesting legitimation because she doesn't want me to have any rights. I feel that the law should state unless a woman is willing to not contest to legitimation and visitation that she deserves no child support. So now I am paying a woman that purposely quit her job so that I can support her and her three children which only one is mine. But I don't get to help raise my son and he wonders why his daddy won't come and see him. The laws are crazy. They are not in the best interest of the child. I think us non-custodial parents should ban together and change the laws. Whose with me?

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Dealing with crazy baby mama

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Dec 20, 2011
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Right on
by: Anonymous

You know, if us real fathers would band together and fight as one, overcoming the personna of a deadbeat dad, perhaps lawmakers would sit up and take notice to a fathers rights.

Nov 16, 2011
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I'm with you !!
by: Anonymous

For 3 years now I been struggling I work hard and try too be the best possible father ever . I pay child support but only see my child when the mother wants too she moved from her parents home and doesnt wanna answer her phone I lost contact with her I went too the child support office and complained and all I was told GOOGLE her . Yet I pay child support and don't see my child . I do believe the children are the last thing these clowns are worried about . I believe something serious has to be done . too many father are growing old with out the smile of their kids and of all with hardly any money in pocket too pay a lawyer . My babies mom doesn't work at all .

Oct 03, 2011
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Crazy Crackhead Babymomma
by: Anonymous

Well i been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 3yrs and he has a 4 year old daughter from awoman that is a Crackhead that lost custody of her daughter. Anyways its like i cant get her to disappear(well in actually i cant) but she takes advantage of his mother because she is a sweet old lady. So she begs to stay there with her and knowing that he has to come there to pick up his daughter. She would stay there as if she is really there for her daughter and be around the house wearing lingerie trying to get his attention. At that same time it drives me nuts because at the end of the day that is still his mothers house and when he goes there i automatically think that he is sleeping with her. She constantly calls my phone private everytime he leaves and says that she is still F**king him. In which its hard to believe but yet i dont believe it because she is atleast 26, with no job, no car, and look horrible. At the same time you cant put anything past anyone. He need to put her on child support. This is destroying my relationship Badly..

Sep 21, 2011
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crazy baby mamma
by: frustrated aunt/sister

My nephew is 9 and his mom & my brother have been apart for 6 years. My 9 YO nephew is suffering due to his mother being so ignorant. He's having panic attacks. It is so bad that he ran away from home and told my brother he wants to live w/ him b/c all she does is yell, beat him, & make him take care of his lil bro (that's not my brother's child). My brother had to take her to court to get visitation rights b/c she didn't want him to see my nephew b/c he got married. This girl is disrespectful to my parents who have done more for her than her own mother. She has received 2 automobiles, furniture and anything else you can think of from my parents and she continues to disrespect them and their home. Today I'm online helping my brother look for child advocate attorneys so he can get custody of his son. Last night my brother went to talk to her about my nephew running away and all she wanted to talk about was his ex wife and his other son's mom and how she thought they were going to get back together. Hello, the issue at hand is my nephew running away. Please pray for my family. This girl is psycho. Oh and she tried to fight my mom yesterday b/c she says my mom is driving her and her son apart. No it's your bad parenting skills.

Sep 04, 2011
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something def has to change!!
by: Anonymous

Ha... Dam all too familiar. My BM has had 6 DCF reports filed against her 3 from medical profs concerning physical abuse. We broke up cuz she left me for the 7th man i caught her with. And for a 3 yr period after that i had our child 6 days a week. I worked 2 jobs paid her CS and had a house build for my daughter and I. After we moved into the new house i told her i cant afford the CS. So she ends up gettin prego from a dude she kneww for 2 months, takes me to court (since she can't party anymore anyway) and wins!! She's awarded 4 days a week with our child and continued CS payments. Now my house is in forclosure and i'm broke. The worste part is that she tells our now 9 yr old daughter that I was never around when she was a baby/toddler and that I'm not even her real dad.

Aug 30, 2011
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idiot men and baby mama's
by: figurebeauty

First of all, he has two children by two different baby mama's. They were 2 and 13 when I met him. 13 yo lived with her mother, hardly see her. 5 YO mama is clinically crazy and he has custody and she is not allowed unsupervised visits. YET when we got together he made the decision for her to take primary care of this child. This is the woman that threatened to POISON the baby when she was born. Weird, huh? I really didn't have the full picture of everything until recently. I dealt rarely with the children and not at all with the baby mama. NOW IT IS NON STOP. The 5 YO is back and forth with us and the 16 YO is getting child support but has high ego of herself and MUST have her hair and nails done and so does her mother. So, they are always coming to him for more money. SHE WEARS SCHOOL UNIFORMS. This is rediculous. I have reached a point I don't know about this anymore. We are always broke. I never get my xxxx nails done. Between the constant texts, calls money and children who have NO DISCIPLINE whatsoever.....it is unbelievable. They act how they want, whine, demand what they want and get it...in his mind he is just putting his kids first. In my mind, there are TOO many people in this relationship.

Aug 14, 2011
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Nothing like this one
by: N.J.

You may have to sit down for this one...I have been married to my husband for two years and his BM is pyscho. Im not a psycologist but I have diagnosed this crazy b***h.
On his eight year olds birthday my husband and I decided that I should take cupcakes to her class and a balloon for her. So I did, she was the happiest kid ever. Later that evening I get a call from her mother, I thought she was calling to thank me but NOOOOOOO this b***h went off like the 4th of July!!! You could just imagine what was said. Thats not the worst part though. The kids (he has two with her) came over the next weekend and the eight year old told us in tears that her mom made her let go of the balloon we bought telling her, she already has enough at home. WTF, who would do this?

Aug 07, 2011
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She's gone
by: Anonymous

Omg y'all stories are so familiar finally got rid of this baby momma bitch of my husbands she met a new man got married two weeks later and has changed her religion to Muslim so now her husband says we can only have Conrad with her to see his son
THANK GOD THE BITCH IS GONE!!!!!!!!!

Aug 05, 2011
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Be careful
by: Anonymous

Sadly many of the post I read were believable. The lobbying for children born out of wedlock to be treated differently from children born in wedlock is discouraging. I work within the system and see it from both sides. The children are not the issue, and they should not be treated as if they are. There are a lot of women that abuse the system, and there are a lot of men that abandon their children. The good news is there are many more women that rightfully use the system to get what true deadbeat fathers would never give without being made to. The better news is there are good men that support, love, and care for their children. This is not a gender issue for the most part it is a immature power stuggle between two wounded angry people and the children are stuck in the middle. Good fathers are lumped in with deadbeat dads and treated with the same rough hand. Good mothers are judged as being a "crazy baby mama" just because she is fighting for her child. A note to the new wife or current girlfriend be careful not to judge the child's mother to harshly because one day you may have to walk in her shoes. Today you are thinking he is perfect or at least not as flawed as your last man. He appears to be believable and she is acting just as crazy as he said she would. Tomorrow he may be a total lying A** with more flaws than skin and you will be the new baby mama that is acting just as crazy as he told the new wife you would. I see it everyday. The same woman that was in the courtroom two years ago supporting her man and cursing the baby mama, now walking into the same courtroom cursing him out and hoping someone will support her.

Jul 26, 2011
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NOT FAIR
by: Anonymous

Long story short....My daughters mother and I were on and off for 4 years, that whole time she had a live in boyfriend who she kept telling me she didnt love anymore. Now im white and she is black and I was a complete secret in her life do to the fact her dads side of the family was very racist and did not like interracial dating. Well when she became pregnant she had no choice but to tell her dad, and he became very irrate and told her that his only daughter was not going to have a baby by a white man. So he wanted her to have an abortion. For the next three months her and her dad were pushing abortion so much that by the grace of god I talked her out of it. That was all I could take and I decided from then on there is no way I could ever love or want to be with someone that wanted to abort my own child. After our child was born she wanted to get back together I told her that I dont feel the same about her but I want to be part of our daughters life. The next day and for three months after she wouldnt even let me see our child. So I took her to court and we agreed through lawyers an agreement. Which went good for three weeks til she went back to her old ways and didnt let me see our child again. So we went back to court again and went through mediation and came to an agreement where I agreed she have full custody and pay her child support, but I get to see our daughter every single day(which is by far more important to me). That went good for around 3 months until she started to her old ways again and wasnt letting me see our child again. And not only that now she wants the order changed to where I am only considered as the last resort to watch our daughter if she cant find anyone else, and she wants more child support. I just wanna know why just because she is a female does she get to break the law, keep harassing me, and o ya shes trying to get me fired from my job because she is saying that im stalking and threatening her. How many chances does she get before the courts give me a chance at full custody? Why is it so hard for a man to be part of their childs life? I have to go through all this just because I dont wanna be with her but be part of my daughters life! I can see why men who knock up women dont pursue to be part of the kids life, look at what Im going through just to see my child!

Jun 23, 2011
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Crazy Drama Queen
by: Anonymous

I am the mother of 2 children, both from different fathers. As a "baby mama" I dont understand why women stoop so low as to act a fool. I could care less what my first daughters dad does. My husband has 2 kids aswell from a previous relationship. I pay all my bills, get no child support, no foodstamps, pay my own daycare yet this heiffer has the nerve to call my husband and say I need you to take the kids for a month because your mom is going out of town and I cant pay for daycare. I was like WTF!!! How can someone have enough money money to go out every weekend yet they have no $$ to pay for child care.

Jun 19, 2011
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I bite my thumb at this bitch
by: Anonymous

okay, so I've been with this girl for a little more than a year and a half, we have a beautiful little girl out of wedlock, there is another child on the way not 100% if the one she is carrying is mine. We fight like cats and dogs most of the time. She is 21 and refuses to do anything with her life, including get a job. My mother always told me if I knock a girl up to do the right thing. So how did I end up in the lobby of a hotel, with no cash, no daughter, no car, and no place to go 200 miles from home? Because I did the right thing? Quite the contrary, the right thing would have been to punch that bitch in the stomach as soon as she got to "preg". Now she is on the phone with me talking some she wants me to come back, but I think permantley throwing the deuces at her is my best bet. And that settles it, I'm changing my number and getting the fuck out of dodge. Why when some one does the right thing the only thing they get in return is bullshit. think i'm out of words, Wish me luck

Jun 07, 2011
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stupid baby mommas
by: alicia

im sooo glad i came across this page.I hate my husbands baby momma.she has had he sister call me threatening to kill me she has hacked into emails and she refuses to let us see his son.there has been days where his son calls crying for his dad and all you hear is her in the background "I dont know why you are crying for him..F++k him"I hate this woman with a passion and i cant wait to see her fall on her face.The boy has been kicked out of every school program and is getting suspended from school he is making D's and F's and is only in the first grade....K.S. you are the worst baby momma EVER!!!!!!

May 05, 2011
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Stay one step ahead!!!
by: Anonymous

Well, as a father of three beautiful children from three different mothers, on the surface It would seem I fit the typical stereotype. Deadbeat , loser who's just out to make babies. On the contrary I'm far from that. I've been on both ends of the spectrum as far as dealing with the crazy BM. Through it all I've always known that I too have rights. I've fought in court for all three kids just because of stupidity other than the well being of the CHILD. I won every case cause I've always paid my CS, have all the kids on MY medical and still have my kids on my days. Till this day I still get called deadbeat, loser , sorry ass dad. My adviCe would be get permanent orders and try and work from there cuz crazy BM's always gonna try and make things hard for you. Be proactive with your case instead or reactive.

Apr 06, 2011
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baby mama drama
by: Anonymous

Ok me and my husband just got marry we only been together for a yr and he has the crazy baby mama she feels that he has no right to move on but she does with three kids from different guys there where togethet for five years on and off and she was not really that much of a problem until we got engaged she feels that she needs more child support so she went and lie and said that he hasn't seen her for a yr so know they want to take 500 dollars away hello he has another family to raise I feel that she does this out of anger and hate he married me and not her and she is not only the problem but the daughter add well she is a liar and manipulative little girl I don't know why can't they just move on with there lives maybe because they don't have one so we are now taking her to court for contempt and she is scared that she calls my husband saying she wants to talk to us but she didn't think when she went and lie that's the one thing I hate liars and all that came out of her mouth is bs saying she didn't go and say that is clearly writing on the letter I just don't gel like wasting my time talking to het she's full of it so ill I have to say is why cant u just move on the past is the past see u in court...

Mar 22, 2011
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psycho baby momma
by: Anonymous

I have been with my fiance for almost 3 years and have been dealing with his crazy baby momma for the entire time we have been together. She even vandalized my car and punched me in front of the police. She currently has a stay away no contact order from me. However, she continues to do whatever she can to break us up and it is so frustrating. She is really insane and I feel bad because the children are going to grow up and I can't trust to be in the same place with her without her trying to get violent. She is a bum who lives off the government and child support and I am a hardworking person with a career to think about and cannot be getting arrested for fighting a hoodrat all of the time. I feel very stressed about this situation and its nice to see that I am not the only one going through this.

Mar 13, 2011
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help me
by: Anonymous

Man I'm only 21 and my baby momma is giving me hell and the baby isn't even here yet she is only 2months and I believe she doesn't want me to have any rights to my child...I have no idea what to do...this second time that this woman has been pregnant by me...she aborted my first child and I was totally against it...soon after we broke up and got back together and within a month she is pregnant again....she is really giving me pure hell and confusion and I don't know what to do

Feb 03, 2011
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get a life!
by: Anonymous

This woman epitomizes crazy baby momma! My boyfriend that I have been seeing now for nine months gets butterflies in his stomach and anxiety just dropping his daughters off to her. If she is speaking we know she is lying and on split holidays she will make us run around to find where they are at if she even answers the phone..... on his birthday this year she took the girls to orlando even though we were supposed to be with them and on top of that the youngest was sick and she didn't even care that we had the anti biotics because we were supposed to have them. She will show up uninvited wherever we are so even the girls 4 & 6 know not to tell her where we are going. She has so many boyfriends that she just switches from one to the next and is
constantly trying to go out with MY boyfriend!!!!! Ah..... her own daughters call her out when she is dressed like a slut. She is so insecure that they would look at me like a mother figure..... that's all I have to say for now.

Jan 11, 2011
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crazy baby mamas
by: Anonymous

Ok I'm married to a man who has a psycho baby mama. I had my husbands son 3 months ago and his ex is obsessed with my baby. She even tried to ruin the day he was born by coming into the room and starting crap not even 2 hrs after I had the baby! And she tries to break us up all the time. We've been married almost a yr and that crazy bitch tries to fight with me on everything. She's older than me but acts like a freakin 12 yr old. She has me on the verge of snapping. Like yesterday she wanted to start with me and I called her out on her poor management skills. She literally is a sneaky crazy psycho. Idk how to not go crazy. Idk how my husband dated her for 4 yrs without killing her! She even went after him for child support thankfully we only pay 76 a month. But b4 that she wouldn't let my husband see his daughter unless it benefited her. Like if she was low on diapers then she would let him see her only if he bought diapers bc she likes to live off the state instead of having a real job. And she lives in low income housing with her bf who she lied about in court. Gaaaaaah I hate her soooo much.

Dec 13, 2010
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Crazy Bab Mama
by: Anonymous

I married a man that had 2 children by a girl that lost her mother and turned to meth. When I 1st met my husband, he saw his kids every other weekend and paid $800 a month in support. We could barley pay our bills. When baby mama decides she wants to smoke meth and have the dealer live with her and the 2 kids, my husband goes to get the kids and they have been with us ever since. 2 years. We now have custody and she pays child support and doesnt get to see the kids but every so often. Moral of the story, sometimes you get what you deserve. I personally do not have biological children. It scares the crap out of me because relationships dont last like they used to. And Baby Mama drama is the worst!

Nov 29, 2010
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crazy baby mama
by: Anonymous

Im a woman, and i hate some baby mama like hell. Not only they are money angry, they would do anything to break the guy's new relationship or marriage. my husband's baby mama is crazy she has the nerve to post over 300 pics on my husban profile of her, her kids one is for baby dady # 2, and her friends and family. she thinks she owns my husband. I feel so sorry man for guys dealing with them and for us woman with sense and moral. you guys need to use condom or protection more often. I really had all the respect for her because i can understand things sometimes do not work out, and people go separate way, but after what she did, posting picture, write stupid comments under my husband's marital status with her freinds, i lost all the respect for her. and she become the first woman i ever refer to as bitch in my entire life because she gives me reason to say so. I do not judge them, but i believe, once it don't work out, move on with your head up, and the guy or whoever related to him will show respect.

Nov 19, 2010
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Confused
by: frustrated DAD

First off I am from Michigan, so needless to say I am getting screwed. I am a father that has been threw more than I wanted to do, I lost my job about 3 years ago know. After I could not pay my support the suspended my license, I started going to ITT-Tech to better my life. After I completed my 2 years I graduated, when I was going to school everyday I thought I would get out, find a job and be able to pay my support and get my license back. The funny thing about that is it is so hard to find a job, much less find one without a license. So know I am caught between a rock and a hard place, I wish there where someone that could help the Men that actually want to do something but just need some help.

Nov 14, 2010
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father who loves his son, but cheating baba mama strew father for the highest paid child support
by: Anonymous

Thank god I received 5 months of job disability at $156. per week, than I apply for social security and was accepted and I now received the medical attention I deserved, I now get $156. and $761. per month, but it was enough to pay for child support and medical support and live on, so I quickly move to the south, my social worker help me fill out the legal document to drop down the child support to $10. per week and my son all the time was receiving medicaid while I was paying medical support, when the government heard of this, they call baby mama drama and said you no longer eligible for SSI, she shitted bricks, she had to stop the medical support right away, while I'm out on disability I have to wait till the court hearing, so I have a phone hearing on the way, also my son is receiving $554.00 in place of the lacking of my child support from my social security which I set up for him, he now received $1,223. because he is 7 year old child with ADHA or ADD something like that my x-wife claim, I now living in North Carolina, in a beautiful 2 bedroom apartment with 2 bathrooms, kitchen, living room and patio deck and swimming pool all for $580. and I still work on paying off the over paid debt, which is to be cut down to my disability at $192.00 maximum per month, my son will receive also from SSD $554.00,

Nov 14, 2010
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father who loves his son, but cheating baba mama strew father for the highest paid child support
by: Anonymous

Her social workers said you shouldn't work so many hours, let remind you, if I didn't work, we would be some poor welfare locals feeding off the system and never getting no where, which she did not wanted, I separated from her and gave her what I lost one of my jobs because of the stress I was going through, my income drop to less than $3000. a month, now I understand I made good money, I paid her $400. every month and spent another $300. on my son on things he need from myself, she took me to child support court and try to get more money, they went on my 2006 income at $40,500. which I paid $530. per month, now there was no problem with that, except I had to work 95 hours a week in order to do that, I was a security supervisor, so it was hard for me to visit my son on daily basis, due to living 120 miles away, so I had to plan it on a day off, so I called him daily, now I agree with new york state court to pay the $530.00 but did you know they hit me for complete medical support which my jobs at the time never cover, so I had to pay $800. more per month in medical support as well, which was $332.5 now let me remind you I stop making $750. since 2006 and now making $566.00 and now took home $233. I was force to live out of my caravan for 2+ years and shelters from time to time, the lowest rent and household expensive was $700. here in dutchess county new york, my insurance was $113. per month, my food was only $75. per month, which I got very sick and I had no medical, while on the other hand, she manage to get an extra $2000. per month from the government now she gets $3,300.00 per month, and the $1,132.5 from me from the child support, I then got very sick and almost died, my legs turn gangrene, I developed leg ulcers all over both my legs and had another mild heart attack, the system didn't care, when I was force to leave my job!

Nov 14, 2010
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father who loves his son, but cheating baba mama strew father for the highest paid child support
by: Anonymous

First let me tell you, all your testimonies are true and blue, my best friend blew his head after his baby mama took him for everything and cheat on his ass, he was the best ideal father a man could ever be, he just had a dirty hoe for a wife, and couldn't even see it, now let me tell you about my truth, I was once marry to a Brazilian woman who was deceiving in so many ways, blind by love, I marry her after 5 years of yo yo bull shit, thinking she has gotten over her tricky way and ready to slow, we receive $30,000. she was on welfare, section 8 and SSI, which paid here rent at $1,300. but that all she receive, I paid $650. to the state in return, we had a beautiful life, I work 3 jobs, she stay home, she was disable, I cook 3 homemade meals a day, use to been a professional cook, again she was partial disable, she will drive me to work, and we would drop out son off at day care, she had all day to herself, she hated changing diapers, so I change all my son, diapers, potty train him, because I work 3 jobs, the only thing I was good for was in house babysitting, cook 3 square meals a day, while she slept all day and sat on the computer chatting online, my son and I play together, I had very little energy left over, I slept 2 to 3 hours a day, until I have a mild heart attack, which she even care to call the doctor, she stay on her computer and said, go in the next room and take an aspen, Twice a week I would take my wife out to the diners and movies, again I only slept 2 or 3 hours, our goal was to buy a house, let me remind you, my wife was partial disable, so I had to pull the massive stones finally myself, I made over $40,000.00 in the year 2006, I gave $500.wkly and the rest I spent paying off the bills, car expensive, food, cable, phones cell phones, etc. I even had and art business which pull extra money, while I was at work, my wife at the time was fucking behind my back with dogs in the street,

Oct 27, 2010
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the law is biased towards mothers
by: father in V.A.

Ok first most of the fathers on this site are not deadbeats fathers are being lumped into a stereotype we don't mind paying glad to but be fair let us see our kids and file them on our taxes every other year my BM is a straight psychopath real talk she gave my daughter class 1 Meth the bullshit to for adhd ( bullshit disease) without doctor's writ lied and said she had it to get pills she got brace yourself NOTHING no time or probation she is the. Mom so guys unless u can afford. A seriously exspensive lawyer PRAY because woman have all the rights PROUD FATHER'S UNITE

Oct 16, 2010
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sorry guys
by: Anonymous

men do get fucked over. i am a woman, with my fiance. we have a daughter together, and he has a child with his ex who is two now. she hasn't worked a day in her life, lives off the system and expects child support. My fiance has to pay back all of the money she got from the state to support her lazy ass. Thats just wrong. we have paid for lawyers for more custody than every other weeken because she abuses this poor little guy. always coming home with cuts on his face, bruises egg sized lumps on his head from dog bites, neglect , and abusive boyfriends. every man she is with is his new "daddy". needless to sat shes been with ( and i can count) 24 in two years. the court does nothing. feels she is the mother, she gets the child. that kid is going to grow up all screwed up in the head cuz his mother is so crazy. i feel for baby daddy's that care for their kids, have to pay for them, and never get to see them. the deadbeat ones that leave the mother by herself deserve punishment granted. but after going through everything i have gone through with my fiance i really feel that men get fucked over. up to 1000 per month for child support for one child on a minumum wage job? ouch.

Sep 29, 2010
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Kidding right
by: Anonymous

What about crazy dead beat baby daddys out there. I am a single mom who works 40 hours a weeks and takes care of her kids. I got divorced and he owes ober 20,000.00 in back support, I mean suck it up 42.00 a week for 2 kids is not an arm and a leg. What happens to dead beats nothing. And who pays the price my kids, I have to scrimp and save to take care of the cost of living it is a joke. I guess I could quit my job and go on welfare, get food stamps then maybe I could get the assistance that I could use for my girls.Mean while dead beat has moved on to procreate and has 2 more children...will I ever see that money....NO...might be nice to get to take my kids on a vacation or let them join a sport or take some art classes.

Sep 02, 2010
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I agree and I have a fair solution
by: D

I think that if the system was TRULY about the child and not a vindictive power play used by MOST women, not all, that the system would function better.. There are deadbeat fathers out there, as well as vindictive women who portray the men as deadbeats to their own end. I still believe the majority of both are just trying to do the best they can.

For the system to be fair, it should be based on a set standard amount for the care of the child, based on NEED and not income...!!

Caring for a child is expensive, but if you take the necessities only, food, clothing, health care, and a trust in the childs name per month, and base the amount paid by each party on that.

For example: (Per month, Per Child)

Clothing = $50.00
Food = $80.00
Health Care = $100.00 (accrues if not used)
Savings Acct = $25.00

Total Base Expenses per child = $255.00

Divide it one of two ways, either based on income if there is a huge disparity, for instance if a man makes 3 times as much as the woman, then he pays 75% of the SET AMOUNT, and she pays 25%

OR

If they make nearly the same, they each pay 50%

The reasoning behind this is that even if they both have Rent, mortgage, utilities, etc, they have them regardless of children. The expenses would happen regardless.

Also any maritel debt remaining after the split, such as back due rent, utilities, etc, should also be divided equally at 50% PERIOD.

Then, if both parents are considered to be suitable parents, then custody is automatically JOINT, with EQUAL distribution of time with the children. No one parent can use the children against the other as abargaining chip.

Every guy I know, who has to deal with an ex and the custody arrangements, wants desperately to see their children as much as possible.

I have more... just need a break from writing...

Aug 13, 2010
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Im with you all the way....
by: Anonymous

If we can find a way to change the system for the better of the child and the fathers that actually want to take care of their kids, im down for it. im sick of my childs mother! I was with this girl for three yrs, of those years i was there for her and my child from day one. She was in college and recieving 250.00 a week from her millionair parents. I worked 2 jobs and recieved income from my side business djing to support my family. her parents stop giving her money everyweek because she was with me, im black, she's white, you see where this is going right. well, the economy went sour, especially for the career i was in so i wanted to move to atlanta where i would be more prosperous and have a better chance of taking care of my family. she agreed and proceeded to atlanta. about two months of being there, i had found a job cooking in a restaurant to hold us over until i found a job in my career. meanwhile she's telling me theres no jobs for her, im seeing all kinds of jobs she could get but she passes them up. she ended up taking a job stripping on an internet strip site. yeah, about 2 weeks after she got that job, she started acting funny towards me leading up to her calling me saying she wants to break up. i ask why is she doing this, she replyed, im not good enough for her, she deserves better than me. so i eventually moved out the apt. to another place. the day i moved out, she had another guy sleeping over at the same apt. i bust my ass to pay bills. she started puting pictures on her facebook of this guy with my daughter. She called me and told me she will be moving back to florida, i said ok, my daughter can stay here with me until you settle and we can work something out as far as her going back and forth, she took my duahgter and left georgia without me knowing , put me on child support and told me i can drive drive down there to see her if i want to see her. still til this day she doesnt answer my calls to see her, on the days i am supposed to get my daughter, she leaves town with her. This system needs a makeover, this is not the 60's anymore when men left their wives and girlfriends out to dry. this is the age of the men that wants to take care of their families while women go around having babies for paychecks. its unfair and undeserving to good fathers out there. if there is anyone that want to link up on this issue, my name is malcolm and my email is kstylez00@msn.com

Aug 09, 2010
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LISTEN
by: Anonymous

I agree with some of this but at the same time, some of you sound insane...For instance I have a child and I take care emotionally and financially! If any man was doing that with his child I dont think their baby moms would have a problem with that and if they do..Than that is where the problem lays! You cant just say I am going to pick up my child today and then not call show up for three weeks after that...A child can be effect emotionally with these half time fathers! I am a proud Father and I respect my baby moms, and some of you woman need to think about that. If your husband disrespect the mother of his child what type of man does that make him...Dnt sit there and blame the mother another woman will never be able to understand what that man has probably put her through...all she know is the fact from his mouth..AND trust I am a man, we will tell you anything to grow closer!

Paying child support does say a lot about what a man is tryng to do for his child but at the same time payin $50 $40 $10 is nothing I help my BM out with half of everything because she is a single mother. That is my daughter! She is in a relationship but I dnt expect for another man to take care of my daughter! HEr daycare, health insurance, food< dance class, etc I pay for...

Jul 26, 2010
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4 walk in some shoes 1st
by: Shaking my head

Mostly EVERYTHING you posted in response to my comment had nothing to do with what i originally posted. No1 said anything about it being okay for your kids mom to not let a father see their child or harass the father & new partner. The only time a parent MOTHER or FATHER shouldn't be able to see their child is when the child would be in danger of some sort whether they pay their ordered child support or not. How is a child not a result of having unprotected sex??? Whether the child was planned or not, children are conceived MOSTLY through UNPROTECTED SEX. That's ignorant to think if it any other way. And I've always been independent but you better believe if i had a child whether I was married going through a divorce or was never married, and i was raising the child all by myself except for weekends, I would get child support for my child. Children are expensive and why should 1 parent do it all financially? I can see if they honestly didn't have anything to give and they were regularly spending time with their child & what not. A parent should willingly help support their child MOTHER and FATHER whether the child was planned or unplanned. What does it matter if you and your husband are married and have a child o on the way? Congrats on that but it doesn't make your child more of a priority just because you guys are married. Your children are your children regardless. Also, there are plenty of people who after getting divorced find excuses not to visit their children or help out financially. They use excuses like they can't deal with their ex, etc. On the other hand there are people that step up and take responsibility whether a child was planned or unplanned which i feel they should. And as 4 you needing to be on bed rest due to unnecessary stress, wasn't the drama going on before you guys got married & you got pregnant? Not that its right but come on now, buck up and stand strong, its not like its something new you should be stronger in this area by now.

Jul 26, 2010
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child support laws
by: Anonymous

What child support laws.The only law that they have is for the mothers. The onlything the courts and DHS wants is the child support money. They don't care if you see your kids or not. All they care about is the money. My husband had twin girls about 23 years ago and wasn't allowed to see them until about 7 years ago.Now he is having to pay this woman back child support and is still using the kids to get what she wants from him. And he got married and had 2 more kids with his wife. They got a divorce back in 2001 and she took him to court for child support but she doesn't want him to have anything to do with him. She remarried and told my husband that all she wants is the child support money that the kids have a dad now. We was informed about a year ago that she was arrested for drug and fire arm charges. And that the kids was token away from her and placed in DHS care. We was sent a letter informing us that charges was brought up against my husband for abandoning his kids and knowing what his x was doing. When he went to talk to DHS and ask what needed to be done they told him he needed to sign his rights away. He did so because his 15 year old daughter give him a letter telling him that she and her brother didn't want to have anything to do with him. We thought that once he signed his rights away this would be the end of it all. Boy was we wrong. Now they are coming after him wanting 65% of his check and order him to put his kids on his insurance. This man only makes 8.35 a hour 40 hour week by the time they get what they want he owes his boss money. He works another job part time so all together he is working 7 days a week. A 59 hour week. And what is his x doing she is setting on her ass getting a welfare check and food stamps. So tell me how is that fair for the men. The laws need to be changed so that men can have help also plus have the same rights as the mothers.Like I said MEN DON'T HAVE NO RIGHTS.And i also feel that its not just the men place to use some kind of protection. But alot and not saying all woman out there have kids just so they can have a free meal ticket. What happen to the bill that was passed sometime back that woman could only receive welfare for 5. It as much their place to get a job and help out also. If they can't do that then give them to the fathers stop bitching and whinning about it. If you notice the woman that go after the men heavy and hard are the ones that don't want to work but would rather have the men to keep taking care of them.

Jun 16, 2010
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Walk in some shoes first pt2
by: Alexis Armstrong-Hillsman

I know how hard it is being a single parent and My child?s father and I work together like two adults for our daughter on this end there is none of that drama. On the other hand I am not most females and was not raised to depend on a system to take care of me.

For you to be so judgmental and bring up the whole wed-lock thing makes me wonder have you even walked any of these males shoes? Or even some of the females. Yes you are entitled to your own view just like the rest of us are but all people want is fairness. That means it is not fair that these women use these children at all to get back at these fathers.

And not for nothing but I agree with some of the views by these males and I?m a female, if you deny the rights of that father to see his child then cut him off completely. Some of these females are pissed because that MAN has moved on to someone else and SHE needs to be the one to explain to her child why she or he couldn?t visit their father. The rules are in the favor of the MOTHER not the CHILD and it is hurting everyone.

Jun 16, 2010
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Walk in some shoes first
by: Alexis Armstrong-Hillsman

This is to shaking my head.

If you have read MOST of the post are about vindictive women not about men complaining about paying. WE ALL KNOW that having a baby out of wedlock can mean trouble for you down the line emotionally and finically, but this fact does not give ANY woman the right to use her child or child as a tool to get back at these men. I am now married and we have a baby on the way, so based on the tone of your post its right for the mother of his child to put both of us thru her miserable drama? I understand that some consequences follow people but a baby is on a consequence of unprotected sex if that baby was not planned. When that child gets here he or she is to be loved by both parents and cared for by both parents EVEN if the parents were not married. I can not speak for all and I only know my situation as I am living it.

You said and I quote?& if a women does not let a father c their child just 2 b evil & play games & it keeps happening & paternity is established & documented, then the father obviously doesn't want 2 c their child 2 bad. All they have 2 do is tell the courts & u don't need a lawyer 4 that?.

Truth is YES YOU DO. My husband has it documented where she is texting and voicemails of her saying he will not see his son as long as I am around? And EVERYTIME I mean EVERYTIME he goes to court with this, they tell him he will have to wait until the next court date. Some court system right?

Not only have we gotten married and now have assets that she is trying to cash in on, we are having our own child who was PLANNED. But now on bedrest from the constant stress and many court dates because she claims he threatens her...

She is dragging us to court YET again because I had her arrested for calling and being harassing on MY PHONE (after we BOTH had orders of protections in PLACE), Does this have anything to do with the child? NO?! Do I have anything to do with Custody of her and her child with him?! NO?! which is the point that some of these men were making. The laws are not set up for any of them to win esp when that mother is on public assistance. They have to pay for a Lawyer while she gets appointed a public defender, they have to put their lives on halt and drop EVERYTHING at the tip of a hat NOT because of these kids but because of the Females who call themselves mothers.

Mar 31, 2010
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I don't wanna die lonely
by: A good father

Hello I'm a 16 year old caring father. Just now my ex girlfriend dumped me and is suposably taking me to court. I said ok I'll be glad to have a job in this economy and pay for my childs needs. If she does take me to court all I got to do is be real about things. I'm going without a lawer and I'm going to tell the judge that I am willing to work anywere for my child. As long as my child knows who I am. Her REAL father. And as long as my daughter knows I tried to be with her but her mother did not allow it. I really love my daughter and I don't want to loose her just for some silly little stupid games that her mother is playing. I hope everythings gonna be ok. I'm letting everything in GODS hands.

Mar 15, 2010
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sick 2 my stomache
by: shaking my head

I have read all the posted comments & it makes me SICK 2 MY STOMACH 2 hear people saying that child support laws should b different 4 children born out of wedlock. If a man NEVER WANTED A CHILD WITH SOME1 BE SHOULD HAVE TAKEN PRECAUTIONS & STRAPPED UP! A child should not have 2 b supported financially by 1 parents income because 1 or both people did not use b.c. We r adults & know what can happen by having unprotected sex. U can't force a man 2 have a relationship with HIS child & if the mother is raising the child on her own of course the man should have 2 support HIS child financially! A child born out of wedlock doesn't make the child any less your Child! & women u know u would b mad if u were the 1 people were looking down upon 4 having a child out of wedlock. I would want COURT ORDERED C.S. if I wasnt with my child's father 2! Y would I want a verbal agreement... When he meets some1 new he will probably start giving less $ if any $ @ all because he has new mouths 2 feed & his new g.f. will b mad that he gives his kids mom $. I'd rather GET IT N WRITING & move on with my life. & if a women does not let a father c their child just 2 b evil & play games & it keeps happening & paternity is established & documented, then the father obviously doesn't want 2 c their child 2 bad. All they have 2 do is tell the courts & u don't need a lawyer 4 that. Like u always hear people say, GET IT N WRITING. It will save your A n the long run!

Jan 14, 2010
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I agree that the child support laws are crazy
by: Kyle C

I agree that there needs to be more attention to the child support laws. I am a 18 year old still in highschool.about a year and a half ago i met the girl ithought i was going to marry we were normal teens and she became pregnant about five months into the relationship.i did not know that her mom was a gold digger who quit her job and got child support from my girlfriends dad. and she receives disability money from the government.but on the other hand when my girlfriends mom forced us to have the baby and i am still working the whole time. And both of them are so lazy and selfish and ask to much of me by abusing my ability to drive.And my girlfreinds mom just gets drunk and sleeps.If i end the relationship her mom will push for child support for sure and probably custody. What do i do,i need help im losing my mind. keep in mind that both of them do not work.

Nov 24, 2009
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todays fathers are not like the past. We are not running from our responsibilities!!!!
by: Something has got to give.

I agree with what everyone is saying and I am going through it as well. it?s good to know that I am not alone. These laws do have to change. Today?s parents are not the same as years past. Fathers are trying to be in their kids? lives and are not running as "they say" many did years ago. I don?t feel that a woman should be able to deny a father his rights to see his kids if you decide to ask for child support. If you don?t want the father to see his kids then you waive all rights to child support. that how I feel. because if she say no he can?t see his kids then we as fathers are already out $2500 bucks trying to pay for a lawyer to fight to see our kids. and if we can?t afford the amount they make us pay for child support how can we pay for a lawyer. Something needs to give. I am all for a man taking care of his responsibilities which most men today want to and are but it has to be fair because if you are telling me that it takes anywhere between 600 to 1,000 dollars a month to raise a kid how much does it take for me to live and I?m a grown ass man!!! if there is any way we can pretention and take this to our state officials, the President of the USA, Oprah show, Steve Harvey show Ellen show or as many radio shows as possible please let me know because I am down with this movement. Life is not fair and the laws protect women and allow them to do whatever they wish without any responsibilities. If a woman says she want to or do not want to have a kid she has that choice and right and the man has no say so at all even if he wanted to or not. if you want to cut down on unwanted pregnancy and high teenage pregnancy then I guarantee if you made women more responsible for their actions and the laws more fair you would see a drop in a heartbeat. but as they stand today if the she gets pregnant and she don?t want to be with the father or he is not ready for a child then the law makes the man pay for both parties involved mistake. the only rights and say so a father has is the 15 seconds it took for him to put a condom on or not after that it?s all downhill from there as far as fathers are concerned. I will end this by saying not all mothers fall in this category but there are more who do then those who do not.

P.S. if you dont think that child suoort is a billion dollar business then you are fooling yourself. i remember when you use to be able to talk to a case worker about your case now they have a call center that you have to talk to a rep. on the phone and half of them are bitter as well because they may be going through some things with their chilfrens father and choose to take it out on you. the system is flawed. And they are truly sticking it to us fathers.

Nov 20, 2009
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You are not alone
by: Jannette

I just got engaged to a wonderful man, we set our wedding date for 2/10, he has a 7 yr old daughter with his ex-girlfriend, she cheated on him when the baby was just 3 yrs old and left the state with his daughter and made a new life for herself with the man she cheated with. My fiancé gives her $600 a month for his daughter as part of agreement between them, she didn't allowed him to see his daughter because he was in a different state, he then left his job, sold his house and moved to the same state just to be near his daughter with the hope to see her often, since then he has only seen her 3 times this year, he makes less money than what he was making before, and still manages to send her $300 every two weeks.
The baby's mother moved one state further making it difficult for him to see her. with that he still sends her the money without hesitation not to mention the fact that if his daughter needs something he buys it for her and doesn't deduct any money from the arranged said amount. He is a good father, has not failed her in years, his baby's mother knows about the wedding and decided to take him to court for child support and visitations, i feel she is doing it to keep him there, I live in a different state and have not seen my fiancé in 6 months, we talk to each other every day, I love him and still want to marry him, I believe that your baby's mother is trying to stop you from making a life of your own and make you misserable dont allow her to do so, I strongly believe in everything you said and I am with you, although am not a father, I know what you are going through, hang in there, you are not alone.

Nov 10, 2009
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To Anonymous posted on Oct 7, 2009
by: Anonymous

I'm going through the exact same situation as u right now brother. Same age dealing w/ a crazy ex...have court next wk in which I will probably have my a** handed to me (biased courts)...just know ur not alone. Career wise, I looked good bf all of this but the crazy ex is DRAINING me and my relationships...gives me hope that others my age are going through the same thing.

Oct 17, 2009
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Some are just plain crazy!
by: Anonymous

I have a 1 year old by a girl i was gonna marry.I quit my job of 16 years to move to her city to help raise my son.(like a Dummy)when i get there I was unable to find work,but i took care of our son while she went to work and school.after 4 months of this she said she wasn't happy and wanted me to leave.so i leave then after i'm back for 3 months she comes and says lets work things out it too hard to take care of our son by herself.so i go back and after 3 months she says she ain't happy again and is staying out all nite while i watch our son.so i leave and this time i tell her i'm not coming back,and she makes it so hard for me to see my son.i don't have a car to drive to her city.she won't bring him to me.she makes excuses when i make a way to get down there to see him or to bring him with me back to my moms.she won't let me do that.she says she don't feel safe letting him come with me to my moms.but it ok for her to bring these guys around my son.she uses him as a pawn because she know i really love my son.its sad that women like to play these games but it don't do nothing but hurt the kids.its out of my hands so i just left it to god and she will have to answer to him.

Oct 07, 2009
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im not alone
by: Anonymous

i would like to commment on ur story ,im a 25 year old with a two year old whos great and loves his daddy ,ive spent thousands on lawyers break ups and make ups .she uses my son as a pon in this game of hers she lets me and him see eachother then trys to kill my spirit by not anwsering or accepting child support and when we get in court the judge will beleve her that i havent ben there 4 my son and the truth is she wont let me.another thing i dont have alot of money to hire another lawyer,so i went to the childsupport office and said i want to be put on childsuport they told me i gotta go to court.so i went to the courts and talked to them they said i have to pay a fee to open the case ,then to open a case u gotta pay a lawyer then a filing fee.what do yall think?advise wanted

Jul 25, 2009
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same ole
by: Anonymous

the child support laws in GA have als hurt our family . A woman can file child abandonment anytime she wants to in GA, even if child support is paid on time . Which has happened to my husband , and it just makes no sense that baby mama looses her job and nothing happens to her except she gets more money, if my husband lost his job , he would loose his lisense/ or go to jail fr failure to pay child support.. I am so sad for all the people who are involved in GA child support system . = (

Jun 28, 2009
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THE TRAPPED FATHER
by: Anonymous

WHAT LAWS ARE THERE FOR A MAN WHO WAS TRAPPED BY A WOMAN WHO DECIDED LIE ABOUT CONCEPTION IN ORDER TO KEEP A RELATIONSHIP?

Jun 12, 2009
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I agree
by: Anonymous

The laws do need to be changed! I agree if a woman has a child out of wedlock (woman typing) then she doesn't deserve to get court order child support. Women it is our responsibilities to protect ourselves. We have more than enough tools to accomplish that yet we choose not too. I have more friends with multiple children by multiple men than I would like to admit. I don't understand why after having one child out of wedlock and realizing the struggle why women would go and do that to themselves again and again and again. The ways the laws are now set-up they don't make the women responsible for their own behavior. Grant it, men should strap it up to, but women should strp themselves up since it's always mama's baby and daddy's maybe. Since the laws favor the women then women have more responsibility to protect themselves and any children they decide to have. The system doesn't care about the women, men, or children. All these politicians care about is the federal monies they receive by claiming to have a child support program in place and that they are collecting so much amount of money. Then they take that federal money and spend it anyway there choose. There is no one governing how this money is spent. Please help me change this by href=http://petitionchildsupportreform.com/clicking here NOW.

Jun 11, 2009
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THE LAWS NEED TO BE CHANGED
by: Anonymous

I DO NOT believe that any woman should be able to collect child support from a man if she decided to have a child out of wedlock. If you cannot tell a woman what to do with her body and you can't force her to have an abortion then she should NOT be able to force a man to pay child support for a child he never wanted. These men are being forced to support children for 18-21 years. THE LAWS NEED TO BE CHANGED. Everyone keeps saying that the laws are in the best interest of a child. Well if momma doesn't care enough to have her child in wedlock then why should anyone else care about the child. MEN GET SCREWED WITH CHILD SUPPORT!!!!! AND JUDGES ARE HORRIFIC WHEN IT COMES TO THESE TYPES OF CASES! This comment is coming from a woman. No woman should have a child she can't support. If a woman has a child out of wedlock it is always to trap a man or use her womb as an ATM machine. I do believe that a man should pay support if he was married to the woman but not if the child was born out of wedlock.

Jun 01, 2009
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2 sides to a story
by: Anonymous

I'm sorry there is always 2 sides to a story when it comes to child support. Can't always blame it on the mother.

May 25, 2009
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Not all baby mama's are bad
by: Anonymous

I am currently going through a horrible situation with the baby daddy. We took zero precautions when it came to pregnancy so when I became pregnant with our daughter it was no surprise for any of us. However he decided to tell me that he was going to terminate my pregnancy one way or another. I had surgery during my pregnancy all of which he wished something would happen to our daughter.

After she was born I immediately took him to court to get the custody legalized. At first we did not deal with child support, rather just making sure custody was legal. I was granted sole custody and he was granted supervised visitations, mainly because I had proof of the threats and a few years prior he had picked up his 2 kids from his 1st marriage and left the state wtihout the moms knowledge - that is how she found out he was leaving her. He was ordered by the courts to return those children after all was said and done.

Now I have a very sick child - she has many health issues - ranging from a blood disorder to severe heart problems. I have only asked for the basic amounts of child support for the first year, now I am asking he contribute a bit to her childcare (she needs specialized childcare due to her health while I work) and a bit towards her medical since there are major medical expenses associated with her.

He is fighting with everything he has, not once has he ever tried to arrange for a visitation and the only times he has seen her the past year is when I took her around - he does not care what happens and has wished she not wake up from her upcoming surgery she is having.

I work my ass off, I have 2 kids - one of which is his. I bring home my own income, I pay for childcare for both kids, I pay my rent, buy my food for me and my kids, clothes, toys, and I cover medical for both kids.

I've had to get a loan to help assist in her medical costs when she was very sick and he doesn't care.

The judge already figured it out and said based on his income and my income he would be responsible for over 60% of this however the 40% i ask is too much.

Why should my daughter suffer because he doesn't want to see her. I have never denied him visitation ever. This was all his doing, and sure I have been a hot head at moments and been really mean, but never ever have I denied him access.

So where is this fair to a baby mama??

Apr 29, 2009
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his ex(girlfriend)
by: Thecoolstepmom!

I am going through the same thing with my husband. His ex girlfriend lied to him about being on birth control and talked him into taking off his condom( which was a bad decision HE made). He wasnt even in a relationship with her at the time. They had split up for awhile and she called him up because a mutual friend was hanging at her place. Then one thing turned to another...needless to say his friends and her roommate all know that she started taking pregnancy test the next day. So we all know she lied. What makes it worse is that his own mom sides with her and instegates feuds between them. She quit her job and took him to court so she could get alot of support from him. Now she has moved to another state and he gets to see his child maybe once a month. I think child support laws for previously married and never married cases should differ. Greatly considering most women who were not married want full custody, they should be primarily responsible for the childs needs and have to keep the child on her insurance and not the noncustodial parent. It should be a 60/40 rule or even a 70/30. If the woman does not agree to share custody.

Apr 02, 2009
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I need help!
by: Wife of husband - dealing with crazy baby mama

Hello - I am the wife of the man who started this post. Let me just tell you as a brand new wife, dealing with these baby mama issues is really driving me crazy. We live in GA and my husband just got laid off from his job. The state told him that they don't care that he doesn't have a job, he is still responsible for the court ordered child support. On top of all of that he has now been served by his other baby mama for child support who lives in GA. I have another friend who license is suspended because while he was unemployed he could not pay his child support and now owes back pay. But the original child support payment was based on a job where he made $50K a year and now with the worsening econmony he only makes $14K a year. The stress alone has caused him to go to the hospital where he now has another bill because he has no health insurance. He is extremely depressed by his lowered rate of living. My husband too is extremely depressed by his situation. We haven't been married for a year and his baby mama's jumped on the chance to throw a monkey wrench into our happy home. I think the child support system is extremely flawed. I am looking for people who live in the state of GA that can help me write letters to our representatives and to our Attorney General. I am looking for all people to join me in writing daily letters or emails to the president, to talk show hosts such as Oprah, Dr. Phil, Maury Povich, famous pastors like T.D. Jakes, Joel Olsten, anybody who has every written a book about child support and custody. Someone who won't mind doing a youtube video on a regular basis about the topic. If we can create enough buzz I really believe in my heart that we can make a change. All those interested please email me at eshantell@hotmail.com

Mar 11, 2009
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I feel for you
by: Anonymous

I come from a broken family and my mom basically took everything from my dad and never worked. Because of this I always feel for you poor men. I've been in relationship with a dad for a year. We both love each other, but its annoying because he is still a money train for his baby's mom and he does'nt have a backbone to make his ex pull her own weight, he wants to avoid court.Their relationship was on thin ice when she "acidentally got pregnant because she didn't know the nurse gave her atibiodics". The sad thing is that he believes it was an accident. This girl had no job, license, high school diploma, and lived with dad when she got pregnant. He let her live with him for free while she didn't work, and he paid for her to go to school and become a medical aid. Now she still drives his truck, which he pays insurance for, he pays for all their daughters medical bills, plus $800 a month on top of that and he just signed a paper for her saying that he only gave her $200 so she could continue raping the taxpayers too. At least she works though. I met with her a few times and all was she could talk about was her collection of over 50 parummes and her expensive makeup. I don't know. I love him a lot and his daughter is great ( im just getting to know her)I just don't want his ex to come in between our love. I just hope she gets another man or figures out how to pull her own weight. We talk about having a child together, but I'm just scared that i'll just end up supporting his ex with him.

Jan 20, 2009
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what
by: Anonymous

take away everything and leave me nothing.nothing so that i can live take away my transportation and take away my roof over my head,but what gives you the right?to make away i need a way to get there, a place to sleep, to get up and keep on how does this make sense at all.we need to know who gave them the right and why does it make sense to every one else,but the man who has no rights and is jailed as if you get some sort of discount for being in jail or if the payment stopped while you are in jail and made a criminal for trying to do your best with what you have.some men get a bad rapp and some women do too that pay support.i truly see child support as a way of giving damaged and very unhappy at some point in their life lawyers and case workers a job and the state some reason to hide behind the biggest wallet rape since personal property tax.let both parents deal with the choice they have made and keep the f@#King state out of us raising our children.every begging parent isn't always wrong but before you put a non-cuctodial parents life in hell,have some nuts about it and try to get it in your head that you can't get blood out of a beet,so why doyouthink anyone else can no matter what they may be faced with everyone should be responsible for their own and stop acting like someone owes you for being a parent .and i was raised by my mom and aunts and my grandmother.... they asked for nothing cause,if i can't raise my son then i know who can help me ,and she said god and not the government we really need to stop this ugly monster called child support and answer for our own

Jan 05, 2009
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I agree
by: stephanie

I just got married and am expecting a baby with my husband but his baby mamma is the same way, he doesnt get to see his son and she has another child by someone else and she wants to sit on her ass and take my husbands money. The government acts like these women are so helpless. There is nothing fair about a woman getting pregnant and lying about it for 4 months just so that she can trap a man and then the government forces him to pay for a child he never even wanted, its total bull@#$%!

Jan 04, 2009
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we are with you
by: Anonymous

I agree 100%! The laws are not for the children or the non custodial parents.I think some big fat worthless cow made up the laws to hold a grudge against all men because they wont give her a free ride for trapping men with her uterus!All they see is $$$$$$$.You need to get a lawyer and sock it to her ass and show her she needs to get a job because you are NOT her gravy train!
The money you spend for a lawyer now will be recouped within one year of hand outs to her sorry ass!You may even be able to see the child too.
Good luck to you,it took me 18 years to figure this out and I am still paying but only half as much as before she turned 18.God Bless You and BEST of luck just don't stop fighting you can do this.

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