Domestic Relations sucks!

by Candace
(Lake Ariel, PA)

I am currently separated from my husband because he cheated on me. We have three children, 2 are legal adults and our youngest is 15. I have custody of her, all of my children live with me as none of them want anything to do with their father. I have a court oder signed by a judge stating that he must pay 818 per month in support, provide medical insurance for me and the children as well as pay for 65% of all bills not covered by child support. Domestic relations tells me that child support covers basic necessities of living to include rent, utilities and food. So other expenses would include medical, dental, orthodontics, vision, prescriptions, clothing and extracurricular activities to name a few. He was told in the hearing that if he quit his job, and took a job making less money he would still be responsible to pay the same amounts and provide insurance because the support order is figured on his financial capability not on what he makes.

As a matter of fact, the trustee went so far as to tell him, "You can quit your job tomorrow making $20.00 per hour and take a job at turkey hill making $13.00 and hour and you will still be responsible to pay the same amounts and provide medical insurance." Well I get the child support because I have it garnished directly from his pay, but the other costs, I receive nothing. I was told that I must pay for all of these things up front (which is a joke, I am not rockefeller!) and then submit the bills and he would then have to pay me the 65% of all costs. So I do this, grand total for three months, $1500. What is he court ordered to pay? $20.00 a month because they added the balance onto his arrears!!! Are you kidding me? I must pay up front for all of these things! i can't just pay $20 a month! Then he is told that our daughter needs braces, he flat out refuses to pay for them because he feels that it is a scam, even though he is making the payments directly to the orthodontic office.

So now I am responsible to pay $5250 for her braces and I can count on getting $20.00 a month from him. He then quits his job making $45,000+ a year, with free medical benefits, and takes a job making $32,000 a year where he must pay into his medical, doesn't tell anyone. I take my daughter to the doctor because she tore her rotator cuff and needs surgery and surprise, surprise, I find out we have no medical insurance. I then get a notice from his job that he had quit a month earlier and was eligible for COBRA coverage, and chose not to take it. I call domestic relations, they call him he tells them there is no medical coverage for 90 days. I find out from someone who works at the same place that this is a lie and that medical coverage starts day 1 of employment. I call domestic relations back they call him again and he tells them he was unaware. Domestic relations calls his job and finds out that this too is a lie, he obtained the coverage for himself but told them he had no family so he did not need insurance. Domestic relations then tells me that they cannot enforce the order because they can't force him to pay for the insurance and that I need to look into medical assiatnce for the kids and that I would have to go without insurance. Uh what, he is court ordered to provide this coverage for all of us.

My kids all have health issues, as do I that require medications on a monthly basis. Most of our doctors don't participate with MA so now I have to change their doctors and dentists as well. I not only pay for all of the extraordinary costs for all of my children but I also pay for my two oldest children to go to college because PA doesn't mandate that he be responsible for college costs!!! So bottom line, let the tax payers suppport my children and tell them that college is out because their father's responsibility for them stops at the age of 18. Domestic relations charges me $25.00 per year for mailings that I never receive from them. Why have a judge sign a court order if it isn't going to be enforced? There a numerous stories in my area of custodial parents going through the same things that I am going through. Here's an idea. how about domestic relations does their job effectively and correctly, millions of people will come off welfare and not need state medical benefits and our national debt will be cut in half? The child support laws are federally regulated and need to be uniformed across the nation. If he gets a cost of living raise, my children get nothing. This system is broken and it needs to be fixed immediately.

It states in the statutes "that children should not suffer because of divorce or separation, that they are entitled to the same quality of life they had before." Yeah but onnly if the custodial parent works four jobs to ensure this because they sure as hell aren't getting it through domestic realtions. The laws are antiquated and not followed properly it's time to change them so that the needs of the children and the best interest of the children are being met because as of right now, they are not.

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Apr 27, 2012
DR continued
by: Gerry

I would agree with most everything you said, except about child support and him paying certain things. First of all the Judge was wrong in ordering anything other than the child support based on his income, also child support is not to support anything other than the child nothing more. I am not sure why the braces are not covered in his dental plan. As far as domestic relations well they are worthless in every state there is. Children suffer because of this. If he quit on his own then he is just stupid to do that. Even if you have no job they will make you pay the child support. Unfortunately most custodial parents lie to the Judge and pad money paid to whomever so the Judge will order just like my ex-wife claiming that she was paying $690 per month in child care when it was not child care but it was for a private school which is not required. So my child support started out at $4000 in the hole to start out, then you add $66.00 per month in interest fees. You can see how that amount gets magnified very quickly. You see it is things like this that land non custodial parents in jail for no reason. I never went to jail but I could have. All I can tell you is be persistent but whatever you do, please do not bring your anger in front of a Judge. Just remember the Judges and the courts are just as bad as the Domestic Relations and the child support enforcement people.

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