Don"t understand????

by Adrian Perkins
(Manchester, CT)

I am a single father. I don't understand why every year I owe the IRS. Why isn't child support taken out of pretax dollars. I get taxed on it when I earn it but have no way of claiming it as a tax right off. After the child support is deducted from my check. What I take home is no reflection of what I actually earned. I can't claim any of my children as a dependant on my taxes. For the past few years I have also lost out on my tax credit for child care because you need a dependant to claim them on your taxes.

The courts don't help either. When a child support decree is placed by the court there should be certain things in place. The first should be an agreements between parents to alternate years of parents carrying the children on thier taxes. In the years that the fathers carry the children any arrears would be collected by the IRS. This would allow the fathers to maintain current payments and be motivated to keep arrears paid.

Child Support enforcement should not treat us all like DEAD BEAT DADS. Some of us have dreams of our children going to college. How can I ever afford to save for my childs education How can I help my children acqruire loans for college with a negative credit score due to child support arrears. They are helping to continue a cycle of absent fathers in a since.

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Nebraska
by: Anonymous

Would just like to say I had to take the Baby momma to court to see my child. She had custody when we split up and left my child with her parents 3hrs away. I took her to court just to get the manditory statute. I pay 350, making 7.50 a hour, and now she says I need to pay half of daycare, med care, and school. You tell me how that balances out in a society who is bankrupt. Government promotes a degerate society. I have to get loans every year just to not show Im not making child support payments. Get 6,000 loans to make 200 payments just to slowly rack up debt. Pretty said that the momma isn't required to get off her butt too. Its ok for her not to be employed due to the wellfare of raising the child. Also dont get to write off my kid every other year. NEBRASKA LAWS SUCK!

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Single parents having it tough even with child support
by: Anonymous

I have read all of the articles above and am appalled at the thought processes of the majority. I hear complaints and pointing of fingers but yet to have heard of a possible solution to the family law determinations reqarding child support. I agree that many things are unfair in the court systems. I agree that there are some dads that are dead beats and that some of the mothers try to get more than what they should. However, I can only speak for myself. My ex husband makes good money and pays the amounts that he is required. The youngest of our three children still lives with me and has since she was three. I did not request child support until she was ten. He does not help with any additional functions that she participates in. He does not contribute to her choir, sports, school supplies and uniforms, feeding her horses, or any other school or public funcion. We all know that all of these activities require monies and can be quite expensive. So who do you think furnishes these...the mother. Who do you think takes them to the activities...the mother. Statistics say the the average family will spend about 11000 a year for one child on the necessities such as food, shelter, medical, education and transportation. Texas requires 20% for child support. He does pay more than most because he has a really good job but it still does not cover what it takes to raise a teenage girl. While boys eat more, girls need more for clothes, makeup, personal hygiene products, jewelry, hair products & assecories, shoes, manicures, nail polishes, and the list goes on. With the price of gas, taking her to her extra ciricular activites alone is outrageous. And then she has two horses that cost a lot with the drought. She is a great girl and stays out of trouble and is on the honor roll. If I ask for extra to help out, since I am disabled and on a fixed income he complains and tells her that he supports me. I use every penny of his support to raise her plus mine. I do believe that single non custodial fathers might be surprised just how much it does in reality cost to raise a child in this economy today. I just don't know how to convince them of how tough it is for women to have the children and that it would be tough for them if they had the child in their home.

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Grandmother sick of son getting screwed
by: grandmother

I have a grandaughter and son pays 600.00 per month. Meanwhile, he never married and his ex had another child with another man. Her and her new boyfriend, child and my grandaughter live together. She is constantly complaining about my son not giving her enough money. In my opinion,
she is a shyster. She would have to put a roof over her own head, and her other child. Her and her boyfriend won't get married because she can screw the government with the earned income tax credit by claiming single head of household with 2 kids. She gets a huge check from uncle Sam. around $6,000 back. Not to mention freelunches, Wic (free milk, cheese}. Meanwhile my son got married and cannot afford to have another child. We live in nj and it is very difficult for a guy who makes 20.00 an hr to live. These women get away with alot. I buy my grandaughter most of her clothes because I love her and I am sick of hearing her mother complain. These women are greedy money hungry unethical people who use men.
Sincerly,
grandma sick of men getting screwed.

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woman on men rights
by: Anonymous

i agree that the cildsupport should be for the children and not for the mothert to do what she wants and I think that father has a right to know how how that money is spent. Because i am a woman and i have seen first a man paying childsupport and he has to do more because the kids are not getting what they need out of the childsupport and he does it because he loves his kids and he doesn't want them to to do without so that is not a deadbeat dad.

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Why wait!
by: Good Dad from CALI.

I have 4 girls and 1 boy my youngest will 4 in April
okay the mother moves to Texas back in 2006 pregnant
and with all the kids to live grandma, I didn't go because I love my job and it's not a good time to quit any job and look for another and few other county reasons but most of I was never asked. back in 2009 the mother decided to call c/s and add the youngest on after we agreed not to we will work it, Well she did, I was never served my payroll co. mailed a copy of add on from the court along with there reasons of wage increase to an extent, I never open envelope because I felt why there taken it anyway I've received so many c/s envelopes. 3months goes by and it went to default it's decided 1214.00 a month this was in 09/09
thats my new payment with my youngest added. I filed taxes for 2009 and received it and went Texas to be the family like I always do thats my Xmas with the kids. it's now 2011 my taxes are taken 6413.00 arrears but my balance is 7800.00
plus in December both of my checks garnished 700.39 on the first one 2nd 639.15 I called c/s
and they said thats 2yrs of no payment, December is when they started new amount of 1214.00 why did they wait for 2 dam years when it went default 2009. 2years of free money is going to the mother plus the 2 in December and all c/s says to me Is that I didn't pay enough and I need to get a modification package. All my c/s payment are taken
out my checks automatically. I will not get to see
my kids this year, this year was gonna be different with that 6413.00 check I was gonna fly them to CA. for a week.When I filed and IRS excepted it I promised them they will be flying to CA.Breaking that promise is worst than c/s taken all the money. I am really confused on this one???

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KIDS!!!!
by: Anonymous

Screw the stupid ex wife or husband. . the kids are ALL that matter!!!!!! When a parent goes without support the kids suffer PERIOD!!! When a parent does not see their kids the KIDS suffer!!! Pay for YOUR kids and SEE your kids!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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This MOTHER does work 2 jobs dumb fools
by: Anonymous

You idiots are fools. Who the hell do you think is paying for this? Duh assholes I DO have 2 jobs mind you, and the dad lives in a huge house, new cars, boat, and constant vacationing. I think its scary and funny at the same time that you say "get off your ass and work". DUH IDIOTS! 25% NET PAY is all you have to do. What in the hell are you whining for? YOU CHOSE TO HAVE KIDS TOO DICKHEADS!!!!!!!! And please don't mistake my thoughts: I KNOW there are a lot of dead beat women out there too. I just happen to not be one of them. Funny how people guess why people get a divorce. You have no freaking idea what you are talking about. However, it costs a FORTUNE to raise kids. Why should kids take the "bare necessities" while you live high on the hog? Whatever! Provide the life you provide for YOURSELF. IF you are struggling then kids live in those means. If you live like a freaking millionaire so should your offspring! GROW UP OR TIE IT UP. Choose and live with your choices.

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Mother--way off base!
by: Anonymous

We as fathers do want our children to be taken care of. What we are fed up with is a womans sense of entitlement. All of those things that you "struggle" to give your children are not necessities but luxuries. The judicial system makes it so easy to get a divorce these days that I wonder if there is any thought given at all. If it wasnt a given that you would be receiving support/alimony/retirement your butt would still be with your husband. Get down off your soapbox your not fooling anybody.

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Hmmm... Wake up and smell the roses!
by: Anonymous

Wake up! Sounds to me like you are giving them these things so you can buy their love to keep them with you so that the dads can pay you all that support money. We don?t get to live like that so why should the kids get it? And why are we paying for friends parties for? Our support money is to keep a roof over their heads, to help keep them clothed, help with part of the rent and utilities, not all of it. They don?t have to have all the things that you mentioned. We are to help with part of it not to do it all while you women set on you bottoms and collect our money to go have fun on. You need to get off your rump and pitch in on this. It was your choice to have them, so face reality and get a job to help. It is not a dads place to do it all!

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Wake up and smell the sneakers
by: MOTHER

Let me tell both of you whiny men what it really is....DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT TAKES TO RAISE KIDS???? HELLO??????? Pre-tax dollars? Buddy, we raise our kids AFTER taxes and for 2 kids, 25% of your NET pay ain't squat. If you think $500 for 2 kids is enough, try paying for the entire amount of cars, insurance, IPODS, stereo systems,DAYCARE ($800 or more a month), clothes, doctor visits, dental needs, over the counter meds (that doesn't come out of 1/2 medical BTW), basketball goals, backyard pools, FOOD (have you fed a teenage boy and all his friends?), birthday paries, Christmas, keeping them entertained (yes, $20 on Friday each for 2 kids to go to the movies, Fun Max, Main Event, etc, home for 3 people, water bills (laundry for 2 kids and showers), electric bills (way higher with 2 additional people), gas to take them everywhere, school supplies, soap,body products, hair cuts, braces, SHOES (outrageous), sports, furniture, TVs, steroes, computers, driver's ed ($400), science fair supplies, teacher gifts, friend birthday party gifts, CAR INSURANCE FOR A TEENAGE BOY!, (did I mention feeding a teenage boy?), fundraisers, gifts to DAD FOR HIS BIRTHDAY, CHRISTMAS, AND FATHER'S DAY), vacations for the kids, OMG CELL PHONE BILLS, oh and here's the kicker....COLLEGE! Things not even enforceable in court! Do you think taking care of your kid after 18 doesn't happen? WAKE UP...The freaking list goes on. You pay on what you make because that's the life you would "hope" to want for your kids. You act like so many women want you to not see your kids- BOLOGNA!. Most women encourage relationships with the dad with the kids, not all but most (just wait till they're teens- she'll be making you take your weekends, trust me). Guess what buddies? I am a single hard-working mom who is constantly in financial ruins because my ex goes out and has more kids he supplies for but doesn't want to do anything to help and I live on kited checks at times because I HAVE TO. Of course you should pay child support- don't you want your kids to live? Do you want them to live in a shack and eat romen noodles? That's what $500 does for 2 kids guys. Think about what it truly costs to raise kids and itemize it on paper and split it in half- THAT'S what your child support should be! Oh, that's right, it's WAY MORE than 25% of take home, trust me. Do the math. As far as not seeing your kids, yes that IS enforceable in court. Might interfere in your Super Bowl Sundays but hey, you ask for the time, USE IT.

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Hmmmmm
by: Anonymous

Yes perfectly said. We get nothing for our time, money and efforts. The women get everything: they get the children and get to enjoy there growing up, there ups and downs, there school graduations, there first tooth lose, tax returns, tax claims, we as men get nothing we have in so many words become womens personel slave, bakcing accounts, etc. Child support is the most unfair act that this country has ever done to a father. Talk about alienating children from there fathers. Because the courts have given complete control over our children to the mother and we all know thats not always a good thing. The courts are unfair, unjust, and are goiong to far with this mess. We are not all dead beat dads so stop treating us like we are. We must stand againts the courts and government and tell them to stay out of our personel lives or at least be completly far about it. I lost my daughter complete child hood (can't be replaced) and thats everything to me child support and visitation should be the samething. If we don't get to see them then the mother gets no money. Besides we all know that the majority of child support does not go to the child it goes to the mothers new car, or there new boyfriends, or their new house, or there retirement, etc. But the courts make it seem like your child support is going to the child (not). Well us men better get our sh** together and put a stop to this before it gets any worse. But the only way that will happen is if men in a happy or unhappy relationship or even none at all stand up and say that this is an unfair and against our constitutional rights. The constitutions say we can not be jailed for a personal debt but they do just that when child support is not paid and they claim they arrest you for contemp of court. But I know people who have been order to pay for one thing or another (car wreck, personel injury, etc.) and can't be arrested for not paying, hmmmmm image that

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