by Emily Hood
I have been divorced for 11 years. My children are 13 and 14 years old. The reasons for my divorce are complicated. I am a genetic male that is suffering from something called GID(Gender Identity Disorder). We divorced and in my divorce decree it states that I cannot dress as a woman in front of my kids. I spent from1998-2007 with regular visitation with my kids as a man, as a Father, and was able to keep things on a suitable communicative level with my ex-wife.
During that last year from 2006-2007 my visitation dropped off. The reasons are these:
1. My ex wife stated that they she or the kids were busy and could not meet for my visitation
2. I was busy with work as at that time I was putting in 10-20 hrs a week on the weekends.
3. I was busy with things, and or I just didn't make enough of an effort.
I realize that I made mistakes during this time. I was struggling with my demons and I was not always a good person. Christmas of 2006 was my last regular visitation. I have only seen my kids 1 time since. Thanksgiving of 2007 for part of the day. I was never given a reason but always told they were too busy so I just gave up. Was t his the proper path to take? Probably not. But I want to make things right.
Since that time I continued to struggle with my GID and as of August of 2008 I made the decision to transition and live as a woman. Initially my ex-wife took the news well, and in fact, commented on my courage. In
December of 2008 I met a man and over the next few months we decided to get married. As I told me ex-wife news of my transition and of my new relationship she started to slowly back away from me. I recently emailed her to ask her for some stuff that I need for immigration to Canada and she has been impossible to deal with, accusing me of being a horrible parent, and refusing to do the things I need.
During this last 11 months I have lost my car, my house, my job, nearly everything that I own. I live in a rented room for $400 a month. Currently I get $1798 a month and she gets $692 of that income off of the top. I have no issues with child support and have never missed a payment. I am not asking to see my kids outright as I know it will be a shock. All I asked is that she comply with my two wishes and that perhaps we could work together to reestablish a life with my kids. Currently she has gone silent.
Again, I realize I made a lot of mistakes. I have admitted them to her, my kids, God, and myself and I have cleared myself of guilt. Why wont she forget the issues of the past and work with me to resolve these issues? At the time of my divorce I did as much parenting as she did, in fact, often more as she was always too busy with work. Somehow along the way she has turned this into something that I feel I cannot possibly recover from and it is tearing me apart.
Thanks for your time.