Family Court Judges- Who's side are they on?

by LaShaunda Dukes-Brown
(Schenectady, NY)

Recently, I submitted a request for an increase in child support to the court for my daughter due to the fact that her insurance premium has gone up. Upon arrival, the judge was very sarcastic and made me very uncomfortable. I felt as though she was upset for me taking her precious time to get more money, money that my child is entitled too. My daughters father told the judge that he had a drug habit, smoking marijauna, and that he was in an out-patient drug program seeking treatment. Without blinking an eye the judge said that since he was in treatment he couldn't work and therefore couldn't pay me any more money. I was in total shock since he had no proof of being in the program and she didn't even ask but when I was missed a line on my paperwork I was yelled at. Not even 3 months later, he was arrested for narcotics possession with the intent to sell and was placed in the county jail. Being the nice person I am, I complied with the request to suspend the order as he said he was going to be in prison for a long while. Two weeks later he was out on bail and free to roam about the city. Since his arrest, he hasn't contacted me or my child to re-instate the order or provide any assistance to me for her. I believe that the judge enables fathers to be the losers by not enforcing payment. As long as she continues to be lenient he'll never live up to his responsibility. This man is 35 yrs. old and hasn't had a job in years and will not get one unless he is told to do so. It is so unfair to mothers like me who work hard to provide for their child and then are made to feel selfish for asking the father of their child to help out with their care by the judge who is appointed to help them. I pray for strict enforcement of child support laws for Schenectady County. The only good thing that I have received from him is a healthy, beautiful girl who is very smart and respectful to others. I will never raise her to hate her father because I know that in time she will find out who he is for herself.

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THINK ABOUT THE POSITIVE
by: Anonymous

Your situation sucks and i can understand. I am in a similar situation myself but count yourself lucky he does not contact her. Count it as a loss if you want but to me you have a gain. You are the one who your daughter sees and looks up to not him. I dont understand why it is always about the money. I offered my ex husband to give up all rights to our daughter in return of no child support. Its tough but now she will never grow up with his dissappointments. I never speak a bad word to her about him and she still thinks the world of him. She is 5 and does not know any better. He calls her every few months and he fly's here once a year and spends a few hours with him. I hate him more than anything but now he has nothing for her. I could refuse him visitations but that is what is best for me. As you said they will learn when they get older and eventually the sperm donor will get what he deserves. I some how make ends meet working part time with no government assistance. We dont have cable or internet at the house and we find fun free things to do. I dont want to waste precious time fighting someone in court. Life is too short move on and focus on the possitive!

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