Father denied by mother to see child; contempt of court

by Shane C.
(Shreveport, La.)

I have paid child support for both of my daughters, whom have different mothers, ever since the courts had me to do so. I have no problem of paying but, my youngest daughter, her mother has not allowed me to see her in 7 years. I received a phone call from my daughter recently asking me why I don't see her or tried not to. I explained to her that I have tried to and the Child Support Office will not give me her mother's contact information. They told me that they will have to contact her mother to get her permission for me to have her info. I never heard from them. My daughter talked to me for the first time but her mother was on the other end listening. My daughter kept telling me over and over that I am a lier and don't love her. That is not true and I told her that. I have tried to find her. I pay child support every month on time. Yes, I owe back child support, but I do pay even though my pay has gone down since we went to court 13 years ago. My daughter's mother is in contempt of court and when I try to get them (Child Support Office/Government) to help me, I have to get an attorney and go to court. I can not pay my bills and have a hard time paying child support. I know I can take the mother to court and have her in contempt of court, but how to do this without an attorney? The Child Support Office will not help. They have too many cases to worry about my case, is basically what they told me. I have contacted the DA's office and they would not tell me anything but to contact my attorney.Fahter's who are not dead beat dads and do pay their child support should not be judge automatically like a dead beat dad. I want to see my baby girl. I can not afford an attorney, so I have to do this on my own, But supposedly you can call the Child Support Office or any government department for help, and you don't get help. So, what do they expect me to do, soak it up and move on? How about if it was your child? How would you handle it? HELP is all I ask.

Trey's Thoughts: If it were my child I would continue to try to have a relationship over the phone. Let her know that you want to be apart of her life and maybe she will not think of you as a liar. She will see that you want her and when she is old enough, she can leave home to find you. Best of Luck.

Comments for Father denied by mother to see child; contempt of court

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Now that's low...
by: J.V.

Wow.. I dont know what is going to happen but my ex is still acting crazy.. I've tried everything to solve this peacefully. All it takes of for me to not jump when she says so and she starts to deny my visitations... I am in the middle of a payment plan to file bankruptcy and dont know how i'm going to do it but I plan to visit the "fathers with rights" location but i dont know if they are just about getting your business and leave you hanging. I dont know if this is going to work for me since my ex seems to be bipolar or something. I dont know if i should start another payment plan for a custody attorney. Keep in mind that they dont do anything until paid in full.... I've been on this bankruptcy plan for a year and have another year to go... That's why I think doing it myself is the only chance I have... even that is going to take some time to come up with the money...
Well, the new lower of lowest reason that I am being denied my children is because my ex started to call me a child molester... WOW.... I dont even know how to respond to that. I know her dad actually was convicted of something and kicked to mexico... but man. I really pray that nothing happens to my daughter or i might end up in jail for actually doing something... I dont know if something happened and she's keeping me away from them or what.. My ex is currently living with a druggie couple and the dude is all tatood, thug looking, thats who she should be worried about... What the heck is wrong with her... I haven't seen my kids in like a month and she doen't let me talk to them on the phone... man.. i really dont like her. All I can do is pray and hope that god helps me but i feel like im just standing around... I hope to talk to fathers with rights this week and we'll see how it goes.. Sorry but this is my place to vent... GOD bless you all.

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Here is how you do it on your own
by: Lori

We are going through this very thing right now. My husband has not seen his daugter for 3 months. And like many have said,she is being completely brainwashed by her mother. This is what you do. Go to the court house and go to civil complaints office. Tell them you ex is in contemp of court and refusing to allow you to see your child. Tell them you want to serve her with the contempt charge and get it before a judge. You will hve to pay the police to have her served and for the courts to set it up. I think we paid a total of 70 dollars. There is nothing she can say except that she hasn't allowed you to see the child and will probably have some excuse why. But that won't matter because she does not hve the authority to change or defy the parenting plan. If she agrees to comply then visittion must start again. If she refuses she will go to jail until she agrees to comply. If she goes to jail you will get your daughter that day. I don't know the date you posted this. If it is now resoved congratulations. If not, file just like we did with no attorney. Our day in court is May 1, 2012. ish us luck and we will be praying about your situation.

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been there done that ,,got the bumper sticker
by: Anonymous

fighting 3 and a half years and she moved away with no notice. law don't care, courts don't care, lawyers just want the money, child support gets paid over threat of jail. children crying that they miss me.
Maybe ALL fathers and mothers put through this hell need to take the law into their own hands. It sure ain't the high road but it beats getting kicked around. Lets start a revolution and take back our rights that N.O.W and VAWA have stripped from us. If they won't let us follow the letter of the law we should then throw out the law book and take matters into our own hands.
Armaggedon will rule if the law keeps ignoring the rights of parents to see their children. Why do people keep asking "Whats wrong with children today?" when the answer is the family court system that destroys the foundations of the children by allowing a custodial parent to get away with murder and treating the NCP as a slave to the state.
The revolution will be televised!!!!!

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it's my turn...
by: Anonymous

This sucks because I am about to go through the same situation. Where are the rights of good father's who's willing to pay child support and on time, but denied the access to their children. We are trying our best for our kids but where is the justice for single fathers?

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I know how you feel.....
by: Anonymous

I know how you feel brother I am ion the same boat, I work a full-time job, and make decent money, like you i pay my child support, it comes right out of my paycheck, so I never see it, although its only been two months since I have seen my daughter, I do miss her everyday, in some states it is considered child abuse for a parent to deny access to your child, the only thing I can suggest is you try legal aide, Ive been turned down 3 times, or the local law college, or speak with an attorney about how much it would cost for him/her to draft a modification of custody order, thats what I am doing, they can also tell what to say and not to say whatever you do DO NOT THROW DIRT judges do not like that, you can also petition the court to have them suspend child support until she grants you access, I know your pain, Im dealing with it now, I can tell you judges do not parents who cant come with an agreement, there are laws that do work for dads you just have to know where to look, google family laws in your state, and start from there brother, dont give up, our little girls will need us and a fathers love is something no man can ever take away from his daughter

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Father's rights abused
by: Anonymous

I have a 17 year old son and a 13 year old daughter. My son is old enough to know whats going on and doesn't buy into his mothers lies but my daughter has not yet figured it out and takes sides with her mother. There have been times my daughter has stayed with her mother when she is suppose to be with me and the mother does nothing to incourage her to do the right thing. I could take the mother to court for contempt but the only thing that will do is cost me money I don't have for filing, go to court and the mother gets nothing but a slap on the hand which is nothing more then telling her not to do it again. I hear I can contact the Child support disbursement unit where the child support payments I make go through and they can take action which would be stopping payments and even forcing the mother to pay back moneys she has already recieved from child support.

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Ashamed of this country for which it stands !
by: Anonymous

This is soooo what i am going thorough, After i was restaioned to Ft BLiss, My ex wife wanted to go back to ks where she was from ... she did .. i filed for divorce because of other issues (finacial) and once i did that and the divorce was done I deployed for almost 15 months. The whole time i was overseas in iraq she would not answer my calls or repsond to emails ..... after that once i returned home i talked to her once on the phone and then she vanished I pay over 600 a month for one child have never been late not once and now i havent seen my daughter in over 2 yrs or even heard her voice. I have called everyone i can think of to get help they all give me the run around i cant afford an attorney yet i make to much for assistance.... How is it if i stop my child support i get arrested ... but she can kidnap our child and keep her from me and nothing is said .... I never thought I would ever say this ... but it makes me sooooo embarrassed that i have put my life on the line for 16+yrs and 3 combat tours in iraq and then to have my own government take my child away from me and not even give me a bit of help her to be the father to her i want to be ..... I am ashamed of this country and for which it stands

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Response from Shane C.
by: Anonymous

When I first typed this up for my husband, Shane C., I didn't think anyone else would comment. We both want to say THANK YOU. It helps so much knowing that we are not the only ones out there in the same situation. We both want to respond to a few comments. To the person who wrote "Info. to help you” on Sept. 30, we live in La. state & we are the only state that has laws from the Napoleonic Laws. These laws are really screwy. I am a formal paralegal & I don't even understand the laws but, the cops will NOT get involved. Only time they will if the child has been kidnapped or any abuse. They will not get involved in custody issues. But thanks for that info. We have documented each time my husband has had any type of contact with the mother or child. Also, the time that my husband spoke to his daughter for the first time in 7 years, she was so brainwashed by the mother. Her mother was on the other end listening & saying that her father is a liar and a drunk. He has been sober for almost 10 yrs. My husband tried everything he could to let his daughter know he loves her & I want to meet her and so does her little brother. All this started when they saw us at the store. It was like the ex got mad & jealous & made the daughter that way especially when they saw that he has a new baby with another women. His daughter sent me messages on fb about how he is a liar and a drunk. I wrote back telling her he is not that person anymore. I understand that what her mother might be telling her but she needed to give him a chance to show her he has changed. Then the ex got pissed that I wrote back and first called me cussing me out. I told her she don't know me & let her daughter choose to speak to her dad. The daughter is 15. Then a few hours later the daughter called. That's when she was telling him he is a liar & the mother was listening on the phone. Their daughter will get older & realize she wants to see her dad & the mom can't legally stop her. It is not fair to dad's who love their children & even if they owe back child support, does not mean they are dead beats. CRAP happens. I think more women are money hungry B’s than men. All I want to say is to the dads that commented, the ex will get her day. It's sad that we ca afford an attorney to get my husbands rights to see his daughter enforced. But, I did talk to an attorney I worked for and now that the holidays are over, we will take legal action and it won't cost us anything. It will cost the ex. My sister is a child support officer. She is helping but only so much because she works for them. Me & my husband hope that everyone gets their chance to have a relationship with their children. One day the kids will grow older and they will want to see you. Not sure how other states do the child support, but call your worker every time you have contact with the mother & the kid. So, that way it is documented through the legal system in some way. Good Luck. Thanks for the comments.

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felony-my thanksgiving experience
by: j.v.

I live in Dallas its my understanding that after the sixth ocurrence of being denied my children is when the police will pursue charges against the mother that is denying the children . so she can wait till the fifth time to let me see them then start playing games again. they have to be denied 6 times in a row before they'll do anything..

for thanksgiving... I waited for 3 hours on friday, I was at their home for 3 more hours on saturday 3 more hours on sunday and didn't get them till sunday night . I made the report on Friday but I insisted on getting them for the thanksgiving holiday. I had to go talk to her pastor at the sixth occurrence which was for thanksgiving holiday and he's the 1 that told me to go get them from their church on Sunday.. I was so happy to see them. I hadn't seen them in over a month..... Thanksgiving was great.... :)

so now she tries to act holy I called to talk to my kids and she said that she would pray about it. I never got a call from them so I called her back and asked her if god said no or what. she said yes, he said yes but she changed her mind. Is something wrong with her...

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denial of parenting time
by: Anonymous

I want to know how according to federal and most state laws it is a felony to deny any person with court ordered visitation their rights to there child. You don't have to be the custodial parent to file custodial interference reports (parental kidnapping) but no law enforcement agency will do it. It's a felony now if I didn't pay my child support which is also a felony I would go to jail, lose my house and licence when is the best interest of our children really considered not the best interest of a multi billion dollar industry like child support. Ok I get it we take care of our child we just want our time with them there are dead beat moms and dads but shouldn't the ones who pay their support and take pride in being a parent be rewarded for this. Good luck to all who go through this I went 1.5 years without my kids then had to pay self child support couldn't figure it out I paid support each month then got a check for my child support. Research the laws if we get enough voices together maybe we will be heard a felony is a felony and should be treated as such.

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I Agree!
by: Anonymous

I agree. My husband pays his child support every month, but is denied the right to get his children. The mother is telling lies on him and this keeps them away. It is sad. Dad's do have rights, and need to stand up for them; however, they cannot due to paying out so much child support and trying to make a living too. Some women are just money hungry and want to control everything.

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Pay on time Dad, denied right to see 3 daughters. Ex moves 3 daughter is SNOW stom to Utah. Where are OUR Fathers Rights here??????????????/
by: Anonymous

I have not seen my 3 daughters in over 7 years. I pay child support on time, and now my x wife has ran off with my children to Tooele, Utah. I cannot see them, because they are in another state. She took them from Wisconsin to Utah. Where are the rights for Dads who are on time with payments? Why won't the law support us?

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father denied by mother to see child
by: Anonymous

this shit driving me crazy im dealing with the same thing

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UNFAIR!
by: Anonymous

My ex-girlfriend is doing the exact same thing. She and my 7 month old daughter live in Texas. She kicked me out of her house, and forced me to move back to California. To this day, I'm paying child support for my girl, yet I'm in no way allowed to see her according to my ex-girlfriend. Because of this, I'm looked down on as a dead beat father. It's complete bull**** how my ex rants on about dead beat dads who want no part in their childrens' lives, yet I'm here trying so hard to be in my daughter's life.

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SAME HERE
by: Anonymous

I can't afford an attorney. The mother of my kids just did the same to me today. I around 1k a month for two kids. Their mother shows me signs that she is kookoo.. i keep track of everything and the only thing i hear is take notes and keep a journal. I dont want to hear sorry notes. WHAT AM I TO DO!!! Is there a free legal service? I live in dallas, tx

jaime jjv at yaho o .com

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Information to help u I hope
by: Anonymous

Ok, so I have read ur story and it tugs at my heartstrings. Being that she won't let u c her, u could document every time she has denied u access to ur child and also get the police involved. I'm not exactly sure if u need to get her information from her but after getting 2 or more police reports about her not letting u c her, u can then take her to court for a modification of placement/custody and take custody of ur child. Although I am not for taking children from their mothers cause i'm a mom myself I feel this the only way. Btw, I got the information for this online for someone else. Good luck to u.

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contempt of court on mom
by: Anonymous

I too have had a similar situation. After 4 years of everything being on the mothers terms, I finally got the courage to say enough is enough and i went to the courthouse and filed contempt of court papers on her. We had a divorce agreement but she failed to abide by it, only letting me see or speak to the children on her terms. Every month I pay my child support, sometimes it may be a day or 2 late but she gets it, I am not behind. When the kids do come to my home they ask me to buy them things because mommy wont. (My son came to my house in shoes that were 3 times to small for him!) They said mommy said she has to pay her car payment and storage fees because daddy left us! She takes no responsibility for the divorce and she involves the children, tells them everything, they are 9, 12, and 19; yes, I still pay for the 19 yr old even though she has moved in and out of the residence since march of this year. I carry insurance on all 3 also. The oldest is not mine but I have been with her since she was first born, I took care of her financially and the mother took it upon herself to let her know recently that i am not her real father. So, now I am going ofr a modification in child support (she never turned in her new income!) and we have a comtempt of court proceeding for this month. I did not have to pay for the comtempt of court proceeding nor get an attorney, although it was stated that i should have but I cant afford it so I am going in on my own; I have to, I have no choice. I want to spend time with my children! I just hope the judge sees how this woman is. I am tired of looking like the bad guy when I am trying to do what is right for the kids but the mother keeps putting things in their heads. I stayed with this woman long enough for the kids but couldnt be with her anymore, all we did was fight and that was worse on the kids. Also, i have taken it upon myself to go to DHHR, the child support division, and have the child support taken directly out of my check so i dont have to deal with her anymore in that respect. They told me alot of men do that so they dont have to deal with the mother anymore! I can not wait to have my chance in court! Why do these mothers think it is okay to withhold the children just because they say so; i was good enough to help father them and now I am not just because I cant stand being around the mother anymore!? Unreal, I just hope the court is on my side and I can get this settled once and for all! Wish me luck!

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The System DOESNT work!
by: Anonymous

I know exactly how you feel it can be very frustrating. My husband is going through the same thing right now. You can however do some things on you own without a lawyer. You can file a motion of contempt in the court that the original case was held. You will have to file the papers and then have her served which will cost you a little money but it compares nothing to what you would have to pay a lawyer. Approximately no more than $200 depending on where you live. The case is considered prose'(not sure on the spelling) which means "without a lawyer". Like I said not sure where you are from but search the internet for free forms. Its called a motion for contempt of court. Once the papers are filed and she is served then you will go to court and tell you story to the judge. Usually they just give her probation or something like that at first but if she continues not to allow you to see her then you take her back to court and they usually give her jail time or a fine until she complies. Hope this helps.Best wishes

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Mother in Contempt of Court
by: Anonymous

I am a mother myself and I read your story. It is women like that, that make it harder for fathers to see their child. Whatever ill feelings she has towards you, is not fair or right. The state does not help fathers like you to help out when they are not dead beat dads. She is a dead beat mom. One day, when your daughter gets older, she will have more questions, and even the ill feelings will be towards her own mother. I know what it is like to be "brainwashed" by a parent. It's not fair to the child. The way the economy is now, lawyers are expensive and you can't afford them to help you. There is no such thing as an "Indigent Attorney" for civil cases. There should be. Other states have them. I am sorry that your ex will not allow you to see your daughter and you can't take her to court. She is wrong and she knows it. Her day will come. Keep us up-to-date with what is going on. Hope it works out for you.

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