My husband is the custodial parent. In June, he was awarded primary residential custody, while the mother received visitation. The judge chose to waive child support at that time, and told my husband he could "file later" to have it changed.
In November, my husband filed for a modification because his ex repeatedly refused to help support their daughter. Originally, his requests were for school clothes, winter clothing, and things like that. After she refused, he filed. He was granted a hearing in December.
The judge denied his petition and allowed the mother to get away with not paying support, citing that there was not a "change in circumstances" from the date of the original order.
Life in our household has become strained due to financial issues. We don't know where to turn next.
We are still paying off lawyer's fees from the custody battle that took over a year, while the judge granted the mother every leniency possible. The one time my husband made a request, it was denied. Before this, they had 50/50 custody.
According to Illinois law, neither the parents or a court can waive the child's right to child support.
To me, this is illegal and a violation of his rights both as a father and as custodial parent. It is discrimination because if the situation was reversed, the mother would likely have been granted child support from the beginning.
We Need to FIGHT the DISCRIMINATORY SYsTEM by: Anonymous
To all my fellow fathers in the USA... we now truly know that America is just as corrupt as the other countries we label as communists, socialists and terrorists safe havens.
In the USA a woman can get child support AUTOMATICALLY because of her gender. Have no REQUIREMENT to WORK or seek a JOB within a reasonable time. Get back pay, etc... EVEN when the FATHER PROVES he is FINANCIALLY unable to pay the ordered amount. The system does not distinguish between the DEADBEAT fathers and the FATHERS that are GREAT, (yet do not want a relationship with the mother). SO they punish all MEN and GROUP them into one category: LOSERS.
Like many of y'all have stated, the system is DISCRIMINATING based on GENDER and this NEEDS to be addressed.
SO I SUGGEST we ALL MAIL our so called POLITICIANS and keep mailing them and STAGING PROTESTS on their steps, asking for EQUAL PROTECTION under the LAW..My bad "DEMAND" EQUAL PROTECTION and keep this UP until THEY UNDERSTAND WE ARE HUMANS AND deserve some fairness.
If the father has custodial rights, then the system allows the mother to not pay or underpay.. Taking in consideration for her: Income, what lowering the support would do for the child and how society feels a woman is better at rearing a child..
Not taking in consideration: laziness(able to collect fees and chill on the couch). Unfitness..she can drink and chill with a plethora of men and all is gravy...Use the child support money to buy extravagant things for her and her significant other, yet the child receives none of it
So I say to EVERY1..lets fight and take this PETITION ALL THE WAY TO THE WHITE HOUSE, CONGRESS and SUPREME COURT if need be, and Take a STAND, that will allow FUTURE MEN, not to have to go through this ridicule, unfairness and BIAS SYSTEM..FIGHT THE POWER! yeaddat!
Mar 26, 2010 Rating
Discrimination by: Anonymous
I have had custody of my son for four years, and now that I do, my son's mother has an order to pay ONLY 1/3 of what I was paying her when she had custody, despite the fact we both had almost identical incomes.
Furthermore, right before I got full custody and had temporary custody, I petitioned the court to modify and lower my amount of support I was paying temporarily, since she was arrested and I would have him for four months. They refused. Now I have full, not just temporary custody of him, and they charge her $20 a week, while I was charged $50-$70 a week in the exact same situation she was in, with the same income as her. When I had problems paying, I was threatened with jail time. She hasn't paid me in a year, and they simply issue an order that says she is to notify the court within 48 hours of getting a job. This was 5 months ago now. The judge is female.
I am almost done paying my arrarages, from four years ago off because I had to pay the criminal court-appointed attorney who put my son's life in danger despite overwhelming evidence, arrest records, and DCFS reports - while she sits and pays essentially nothing for the past four years to me. How is this fair, Illinois? The state constitution says no branch of the government shall discriminate on the basis of sex.
Yet now that I have custody of my son, she has to pay 1/3 of what I did when she had custody, even though our incomes are the same. I missed one payment, and it was a threat of jail time. She misses a year's worth, and no one cares.
I tell the state's attorney about this, and they do nothing. There has to be a discrimination suit here somewhere.
Jan 26, 2010 Rating
unbeleivable by: Anonymous
just received my letter from judge over modification oc child support which was denied, us men dont stand a chance in court, the judge didn't beleive anything i said and was biased during trial, evidence upon evidence i proved my case but he didn't care.I knew it was a bad sign when the judge flirted with x upon her late arrival, then he took all my evidence just to say no, it was obvious that he had no intention in ruleing in my favor proof or not as fathers we have no rights the judge doesn't want to hear anything you say this really sucks
Mar 19, 2009 Rating
TRYING TO FIGHT by: KIMBERLY HALL
MY HUSBAND AND I WERE MARRIED ABOUT 7 YEARS AGO AND SINCE THAT TIME WE HAVE BEEN IN COURT BATTLES WITH HIS EX. MY HUSBAND IS ACTIVE DUTY MILITARY FROM A SMALL TOWN IN WEST VIRGINIA WE HAVE TIME AND TIME AGAIN PROVEN HIS EX TO BE NEGLEGENT AND ABUSIVE MENTALLY TO OUR 15 YEAR OLD SON. IN JUNE OF THIS YEAR HE TOLD US HE WANTED TO LIVE WITH US. HIS EX AGREED BUT THEN FOUGHT FOR LITTLE STUPID THINGS TO BE PUT IN THE PAPERS WE WENT BACK TO COURT TODAY AND THE JUDGE WHOM HAS BEEN OVER THE CASE FOR THE PAST 7 YEARS ORDERED THAT SHE NOT PAY ANY CHILD SUPPORT AND THAT ARE YOU READY FOR THIS THAT MY HUSBAND THE CUSTODIAL PARENT PAY HIS EX 5 DOLLARS A MONTH PLUS PAYBACK ALL OF THE SUPPORT PAID TO US TO DATE AND SHE DOES NOT HAVE TO CARRY HEALTH INS. OR PAY ANY OUT OF POCKET COSTS. HIS EX WORKS FOR A LAWYER IN THIS TOWN AND IS VERY CONNECTED AFTER COURT I WENT STRAIGHT TO THE CHILD SUPPORT OFFICE WHERE THEY WERE JUST DUMB FOUNDED. MY HUSBAND WAS ORDERED TO HAND OVER HIS CHECK STUBS BUT THEY JUST TOOK HER WORD FOR HER INCOME AND SHGE LIED AND WAS OFF BY ALMOST 10,000. THE JUDGE WHO KNOW NOTHING ABOUT MILITARY PAY ADDED MY HUSBANDS HOUSING ALLOWANCE AS INCOME EVEN THOUGH WE LIVE ON BASE AND DONT EVEN RECIEVE THAT MONEY I AM AT A LOSS WE ARE 20,000 IN THE WHOLE IN LAWYER FEES PLEASE IF ANYONE HAS ANY ADVICE PLEASE WE WOULD GREATLY APPRICIATE IT.
Mar 10, 2009 Rating
Same boat by: Anonymous
My husband's 16 year old daughter recently decide to come live with us as well - he has been paying child support and 1/2 of all extra expenses for more that 15 years. We told the x-wife that we would waive rights to C/S if she would allow the daughter to keep her car, clothes and personal items and just pay for the car insurance (it was a used car that was paid for already). The X refused and took everything away. We then petitioned for C/S since she refused to help. She has not paid 1 cent toward her daughter's support (who is a spoiled diva as I have come to learn). The X kept fighting the support, and we ended up in court after 8 months. The Judge orderded a support order, but to start the NEXT month and denied our request for back support. We spent over $15K of our savings on law fees, car, clothes, etc. The mom to-date has still not paid anything toward her daughter's support. It is put us in a significant financial bind, but the judge refused to make the mom pay. This is Texas. If we had know this, we would have told the kid to stick it out for 2 more years. Funny, my husband thought his kid was just perfect, but once she has lived with us full-time, it is a big strain on our marriage. I provide about 65% of our family income, and I am pretty sick of this- the mom pays nothing and this spoiled kid gets everything she wants. Be careful, or you will end up the same way. I am not saying I don't love my step daughter, but she should have limits and have to help and my husband doesn't require it because he thinks she has been through too much already. Make sure you keep your voice heard, or you will be lost in all of this and end up just being a paycheck for all of them.
