Father in Exile
(West Greenwich, RI, USA)
My ex-wife and I divorced in 2009 in Texas. I lived within a few miles of my two children at the time were aged 13 and 14. The divorce was messy and my ex-wife refused to get counseling for the children saying she could take care of them. Well, she did. Visitations lasted only a few months and all they mounted to were trips to Denny's for breakfast and Old Navy for clothes shopping then home. Neither child wanted to spend any time with me at my home. I never pressured them and always respected their wishes. I always told them that I loved them and would be there for them. Then one day the visits and contact ended. Neither child would respond to my text messages and e-mails. I mailed birthday cards and Christmas cards to them but never got a thank you. The email responses I received from them were written by my ex-wife.
I visited lawyers to help me enforce visitation but was told at their age they could tell the Judge they did not want to visit with me. It would be a waste of money since the Judge would honor the kids wishes.
I never missed a child support payment, I paid over $125K in support since 2009 in fact I over paid $830.00 and still no contact.
It is now 2015 and no contact from them to this day. I even lost contact with my two older children. I was a very good Father, I always defended them from their Mother, I never drank alcohol in front of them and never did drugs. I was faithful to my ex-wife and to my children. I was always employed and they lived in a very nice home receiving everything their friends had. We went to Disney World at least 4 out of 6 years, went to Germany and Italy in 2003 for a several week vacation. I was the only licensed driver at the time in the family and took them everywhere for sports, shopping, school and recreation. Oddly, my ex-wife got her drivers license a few months after I left her.
I have re-married since and this marriage is about to fail because I'm feeling empty as a person not feeling I serve any purpose because I miss my children so much. Just imagine, one day you see them and the next gone. Just like they died.
So, when you consider divorce with children think it through and really work hard to save the marriage cause you never know what life will deal you when you do divorce.