Fed up mom

by Nancy
(cayuga county NY)

In Cayuga County, the judges like to zing it to the mothers. I left a drunk and verbally abusive husband after 24 years of marriage. He talked my son into moving in with him. My son is emancipated, 20 years old, has a good paying full time job. As soon as he moved in with his father, his father took me to court. My ex-husband grosses 14 thousand dollars a year more than me. The judges ordered me to pay 150. per month than he ever paid me. Along with back payments. I tried to explain to the judge that I could not afford that payment, but would gladly pay my ex what he paid me. The judge says "too bad" and gave my ex the right to take me back to court every time my income changes. Well, I can barely make ends meet. How is this fair? The judge never took into consideration that I have a small mortgage and car payments, along with medical bills. My ex has no automobile payments or mortgage. My ex can laugh all the way o the bank. He also brags about how he paid off his boat, can now retire, and is saving lots of money. He can afford to go to dinner, and order lunch every day at work while I bring my lunch, cut costs wherever I can and would love to go to dinner. I also have to pay until he is 21. Now tell me, is this fair that the judges in cayuga county can impose this kind of justice?

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Chautauqua county
by: Anonymous

My husbands child is 20 years old, lives with her boyfriend and works. My husband still pays 650.00 a month to the mother, even though the daughter lives with her boyfriend. Last time we tryed to have her amancipated, she quit her job and enrolled in college. She did one semester and is not attending college no longer. He still sends the money ever month to the ex. We tryed to tell the judge she does not live at home, but he just didn't want to hear it. What we want to know is were is this money going to, the ex wife is remarried and building a new home, they have new motor homes and go on vacations, the funny thing is she does not work, she claimes she's disabled, i've called nys disability on her because she races cars and can drink every night, but our system is so f***** up. REALLY NYS, no wonder everyone leaves. All our politicans are to busy being perverted.

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no, it is not fair
by: mom "won" custody

No. It is not fair. In New York State, men have rights but no responsibilities while women shoulder all the responsibilities but have no rights. Any mom who loses custody is considered a bad mother and is punished. Non custodial moms are forced to pay higher rates of child support and often stripped of their visitation rights. Good luck.

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deadbeats rate in court
by: Anonymous

i agree with you. your story sounds alot like mien except while we were going to court for the divorce, i was ordered to pay him 500 dollars a month because he was disabled and had little income. keep in mind i have both kids living under my roof. we have been apart now for a yaer and a half and the only thing he did was buy his son a pair of sneakers. i dont have to pay him the 500 anymore, but i had to give up alot in order for that to be ruled in court. it doesnt pay in the courts to be a good mom, hard wroker and a good wife. the courts are all for the deadbeat!!!

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Actually.....
by: Anonymous

The judge didn't make up that rule (about paying child support until the child is 21), the State of New York did. Also, the judge didn't give your ex-husband the right to keep taking you to court, the State did. Theoretically, he can file a motion against you anytime he wants to in family court. As you are clearly experiencing, it goes both ways when the non-custodial parent gets screwed.

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