Frustrated and No Longer Know What to Do

by Nicole
(OKC, OK, US)

I have been with my boyfriend for about two years now. He has been seperated and going through a divorce for over 3 years now. His ex (which is yes what I call her) has received continuous after continuous. All being for various reasons she has is now on attorney number three. Every time the final trial date came up she would fire her attorney and get a new one. The new one would go in and say because they just picked up the case they needed time to get familiarized and prepare. Then the last one she got was the worst one of them all. No offense to anyone who is or was an attorney out there. But it absolutely baffles me at how some can live with what they do.


My boyfriend is not a dead beat father by any stretch of the imagination. He is loving, intelligent, hard working man who cares more than anything about his children. His ex on the other hand has displayed throughout this entire process that she cares about one thing and one thing only. MONEY, MONEY, MONEY. 2 and a half years ago during their first temporary hearing they had a temporary order put in place which was suppose to be last for 2 months until the final hearing. Which till this day has not happened (last extension was just given on August 28th, 2009 and is rescheduled for December 18, 2009) At the time that the temporary custody agreement he was making a lot better money than what he has made in the past year and a half.

He is in the car business so a few years ago when the economy was up money was great. Now his pay is almost cut in half yet because they have not had the final trial they will not make an adjustment in the temporary order. So what he was ordered to pay when he was making two times what he is making now is still in effect. On top of it she is making double what she was making. (i will also make the comment he has a horrible attorney but we can't afford anything more now) To make everything better the mortgage of the home she lives in and her vehicle is in his name only because she shot her credit to hell a few years ago she couldn't finance a slice of bread. In the temporary order she was told she had to pay for that as well as her utilities.

He was to pay her $1750 a month in child support and $1400 in spousal support (again only suppose to be for two months.) She has since stopped paying for the home and tells the kids if they loose their home it is because daddy doesn't love them. So for his children and so his credit isn't shot to hell as well we have to pay that. She then gave the vehicle back and said she couldn't afford it which was 07 Toyota 4-Runner. Yet she then when out and had her mother finance a 2009 Hummer for her. So then we were stuck with another vehicle having to pay for. In additional at least every other month or so she will let her gas and electricity get cut off and tell the kids that daddy doesn't love them enough to let them have hot water or electricity so then we turn around and pay for them to be cut back on. All together a month between what we have to pay based on the idiotic temp order and what in order for kids well being we have to pay the sum comes to roughly every month around $4800. After taxes he brings home $5000 a month.

So that leaves us $200 a month for his mortgage and all his bills. His house is now in foreclosure and I as well who earn a decent living have no money because all my money goes to make sure ends are met because of her.

She constantly keeps the kids and will hide them on the days he is suppose to have them. She is corrupting the oldest child which is 11 daughter who I am truly fearful of how she is going to develop over the next few years. She has become deceptive and lies just like her mother has taught her. And nothing can be done. I do not know what to do anymore. What and the hell is wrong with the system?? I am so sick of hearing about the freaking right's of woman and the right's of wife. You know what how long have woman been fighting for equality in this country and equality in the work place? Yet, they still want to have the same rights to be taken care of that they had in the 50's.

And yes by the way I am a woman and I know now every woman out there is like his ex but I have read story after story of the same thing happening to other men. You know all you hear about in the news and media is dead beat fathers. Single mothers having to fight to raise their children on their own. But how many stories do you hear about the dad fighting for their children and they selfish, vendictive, and ignorant woman who try to keep them from them. Answer...NONE! Because if you did next thing you know mother's rights groups would be slamming their fists and saying this is not fair. Well, you know what is not fair. Father's who work their butt's off to provide for their children who all they want is to provide for them, to love them, to see them, and who want the ability as well to move on with their lifes. But they can't. Instead the mother's get to sit back and collect and play the games and face no consequences.

So to all the men out there who have experienced something similar on behalf of women I apologize. I wish there were more organizations out there devoted to helping you and supporting you. What I have put isn't even the beginning of the hell we are going through right now. And I apologize for the rant I am just so completely beyond disgusted at this point I don't know what else to say or do.

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