Frustrated in Ohio

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Frustrated in Ohio

by Damion Justin Morgan
(Zanesville,Ohio)

I have been paying Child Support since I was 16yrs of age. I know what I am about to say will make me sound like a dead beat father but that is not the case. When I first started paying support I was ordered to pay $225 a month, I was only a high school student and I was living on my own by the age of 17. I had 2 options stay in school and not pay the full amount or drop out and work full time to pay my rent and other utilities and my support(guess what one I chose). The mother was working at a basket company making $12/hr while I worked for $5.50/hr(see the math?). I immediately started out $4,000 in the hole and have been behind ever since.Well since then I have had other Children I live with 2 of them but I pay for 3 others(sounds really bad doesn't it? hang on it gets a little better).Well I pay $600 a month with no high school diploma or GED(go figure).Anyways I bring home only $80-$100 a week if it wasn't for my fiance and my cousin I would be face down in the gutter dead or something.I have often considered walking away from it all but I can't because I love my children too much. I have currently been seeking employment for a while now and because of my credit I can't get certain jobs, and not a lot of places are hiring. I have been fighting to see my oldest child for quite some time now and I get denied but she can throw me in jail for non-payment. I know I'm not making any sense but I am not very good with words.

What I don't understand is that when you go in for child support(at least in Ohio) they say that child support is to establish a relationship between father and child. Can someone please explain to me how that is possible?And another thing I don't understand,how can they rightfully take away your home,your vehicle and stop your bank accounts because you fell behind on your support? They take everything,where is that fair? Something else I don't understand is how you are considered a criminal for not paying support?I am all up for supporting my children,make no mistake on that, but at what cost should I have to pay? At what cost should my children pay because I'm too busy trying to work my life away to make ends meet and pay my child support? Yeah Child support pays,it makes you pay the ultimate price, work work work and no time for my children(if I am lucky enough to get any) or go to jail and still not see my children. People say that child support is necessary but who benefits in the end? the children or the mother? in like 98% of the cases its not the children. I will end this now cause I can go on and on. Feel free to bash me and berate me all you like, I know my situation,how well do you know mine or any other situation that you chose to bash?

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Frustrated in Ohio

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OVERHAUL
by: Anonymous

Your question why "people" keep having kids, but unless I can shoot little babies from my penis, I think you're mistaken. Women have kids. And many women have kids as a source of income. I know and have encountered too many of them. I agree that men should wear condoms to circumvent this issue, and that yes, there are many forms of birth control, but when the government is practically dangling the carrot for many a lazy woman I imagine it gets hard for them to resist. In my case, she lied about being on birth control, and am paying the price for it. The point is that it should also be up to women to suggest birth control, and choose their partners more carefully. In my opinion it's cruel for a "deadbeat" mother to have a child with someone knowing that they probably won't stick around, and THEN have the gall to demand child support. How is that beneficial for the child? How come custodial mothers aren't considered deadbeats even though they have kids knowing that the father of the child won't stick around-they want a child to be in that kind of situation? It's rubbish-and the government is providing for a system in which there is zero accountability for women. Drastically in need of a make-over.

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Hope this answers some questions.
by: Damion Morgan

trust me guys I never planed on having more children, I know I should have been smarter about it and as time went on I got smarter. I am still with my youngest babies mother and we are currently trying to marry. I know that I have made wrong decisions, and if I had been thinking straight(instead of having that 18yr old mentality "I RULE THE WORLD, AND I AM ABOVE EVERYONE AND BETTER THAN EVERYONE") I would have only had the one child. I do not regret any of my children, I only regret the circumstances in wich they were born. I would have written sooner but I forgot the web site name and went to jail shortly after. Believe me I wish I would have waited to have children. If you have any qestions feel free to contact me and ASK questions, do not send hateful or berating emails. My email address is mysticwolf187@yahoo.com, please put Frustrated in ohio in the subject box so I will read it.

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A little understanding, yet a little confused.
by: Frustrated in NC

I would just like to say that I am a mother of a wonderful 2 year old son. He is my world and I would never let anyone come into his life to confuse him or get his hopes up. The father of my child has seen him maybe 5 times since he was born. Granted I did not live close to him when he was born, but still he could have made an effort or showed that he really wanted to see my baby. The only effort he wanted to show what that he wanted to see me. That's where things went bad with us. I have never looked for a payout, but I do currently recieve medicaid for my child and food stamps. There for child support is an issue that was forced upon me to pursue. I did not want to go through legal action to have this done because of all the drama it causes. Since I've done this two weeks ago the father has already started arguing with me over this. I have never denied him the right to see his child and have often encouraged it. The only problem I had was that I didn't want him being a part time dad. If he was going to see him I thought it should be done on a regular basis and no I do not want him spending the night. His current girlfriend and I do not get along and I don't really trust anyone with my kid. If anything was to happen to him I couldn't live with myself.
In any case I don't feel an absent parent should ever be denied to see their child except in extreme cicumstances (drugs, abuse, neglect, etc.)
One thing I can't understand is that why (if you're struggling to take care of one child) do you go and have more children. I struggle everyday to take care of my child on my own, but I'm not out there trying to make any more babies. I don't understand that part! Other than that if you're child support is being paid and you're doing what you can to be in your children's life with what time you have I would not call you a deadbeat dad. I pray that you are able to see your oldest child.
And I don't think it's fair that child support goes as far as taking pretty much everything you own. I can promise you one thing though, if I am granted child support, every penny will be spent on my child.

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TRY THIS
by: Anonymous

SOUNDS LIKE YOU NEED TO GET YOUR SUPPORT AMMENDED YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO FILE A PETITON TO GET RATES REDUCED BASED ON THE NUMBER OF CHILDREN YOU HAVE

GOOD LUCK FROM A
NON CUSTODIAL FRIEND

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Hello
by: Anonymous

Hello. I am not going to bash you but I would like to ask a question if I may. What caused you to have other children out of wedlock after you had been through your first situation as a child? Was there no one around to give you wisdom, teach you how to use a condom? I am just trying to understand after you had your first child and you saw the hardship you would have to endure why would you go and put yourself in that same position two more times?
I agree like most people that child support needs an overhaul, federally and locally. But what I can't understand is why so many people are choosing to continue to have children outside of wedlock. Not only do you have to worry about curable STDs but there are STDs out here that you can not cure...why not use a condom? The condom will protect you from disease and possible unplanned pregancy. I just don't understand why people are not making wiser choices. There are more birth control methods out there than there has ever been before but yet more and more children continue to have multiple children by multiple people. I just don't understand it. Can you shed some light on this situation for me?

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Frustrated in Ohio

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Frustrated in Ohio