Fustrated Step Mom seeks help

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Fustrated Step Mom seeks help

by Mrs. Garrabrant
(Ohio)

Well the short verson is my now husband had a child with his ex girlfriend. They fought constistanly. About 3 months after they found out he decided his son would be better off not having two fighting parents all the time so he spilt up with her. During which he met with her asked her about doctors appt. Many times she asked him to come back but he was happy and had met me. He told her that he would be there for his son but he could not be with her. After his son was born he made weekly visit to her house (because he was not allowed to take him any where and I was forbidened to be around his son)After about two months we filed for a complaint of custody to get visitation. Since his son was still infant we only got him a couple hours.

No overnights Until he turned 1. My husband is in the reserves and must have weekends off for visits. With this economy getting a job is hard enough then having to put rescrictions. Making it almost impossible to pay his support. So who does, ME!! His baby mama of course hates me but if she realized how much I have done for her and their son she should be lucky to have a step mom be there like I am. We of course want kids of OUR own but with the support we pay I don't see it happening easily. Which I feel is bull. And the ldy at the agency says they won't take our kids into consideration to lower his payments. He is always there for his son, but if they lowered it that's sending a message to other dads to have more kids just to bring their payment down. WHAT IS SO WRONG WITH STILL WANTING A FAMILY after a oops. I don't know what to do.

I briefly spoke to a lawyer that said it can be changed if we go to have kids but a lawyer has to put it before the judge, we can't do it. DO YOU THINK WE HAVE THE MONEY , NO! Now his ex moved to BFE 3 1/2 hours away and we have to get the paperwork figured out again and they just got it to go through a month ago. I need some advice I am so fed up

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Fustrated Step Mom seeks help

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Dec 21, 2010
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Change legislation for free just your time
by: Allison

I looked up other states laws and found that Minesota has a discount for biological children that are one but not the others, I am currently contacting the legislators in my area and pineing to get the law changed. Also find out who your legislators and it won't cost you anything. We have to start at the top not at the court level. Go through all the other states laws and see what works and what doesn't and lets get these laws underwraps, because there is no comonsense.

Oct 25, 2009
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Feel your Pain
by: Paula

I know form experience what it is to go through a similar situation. My husband of 5 yrs has two other women he is paying child support to. The first one was a co-worker of his, that he ran into every day...UGH!!! Then the second one she worked for the HR dpt., of where he worked. Luckily we worked for different companies, but from time to time I had to go to his place of business, boy okward! Well, we go through all the mess, and the biggest problem I had was the phone calls that come in from both women, they never called the home phone, and always on his cell. They have the kids call and then they get on the phone. Which can be trying all the time, but so long as you make your expectations known, and let him know what you are willling to put up with, and what your not. Things should work out. Believe me it was a learning experience. Besides, we now have 3 of our own & I don't look at them as exemptions or money, just the love that we have together. Always look at the other children and know it is not their fault they were trown into this, but be there for them and maybe one day you can talk with their mother without any drama, it took me 2 1/2 years to talk with the 1st one. She hated me because he married me and not her. The other baby momma still is trying to lure my husband and keeps saying that he needs to be involved in her little girls life everyday!! It's too hard for him, becuse of the support coming out of his check ($1600.00/ mo)for both children, he is working overtime to help suppliment that for the family at home in the meantime, we hardly see him, but he is keeping food on the table and a roof over our head. She just does not understand that if he does not have time to see the little girl, that he hardly see's his own kids, even with the money from the exemption. I hope this helps you. Just be strong, it get's better, just make sure that you know he loves you and that those relationships are over and he doesn't want to go back. Best of luck, God Bless you. There is a place in heaven for women like us.

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Fustrated Step Mom seeks help

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Fustrated Step Mom seeks help