Getting Burned Every Second Of The Day...

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Getting Burned Every Second Of The Day...

by Mista
(Corpus Christi, Tx)

Met somebody at the age of 19. We ended up getting serious. And around the time she got pregnant. She later told me she had been with somebody before we started dating. And she thought there was a possibility the child wasnt mine. Me being me I stayed in relations knowing the 50/50 chance. After my son was born. I made sure to have a dna test. The results of me being a father to a beautiful boy.

We moved in together and found out one day at work i was put on child support. I felt betrayed. I felt Stupid. I felt like how does this make sense when we live together! Slowly but surely money was taken out of my check. Arguments arose of bills and me not making a certain amount on my check. And my reponse is "well ur askin the state to take money from me and put it into ur bank account".

We later seperated. 3 1/2 years after being by myself. I found somebody new and now I have 2 daughters. My son's mother doesnt associate with me in anyway. She associates with just my parents. I dont know where she lives. So incase of a emergency. I wouldnt know where to begin to look. I have only her phone number. Which i dont use because it gets ugly. Recently my song graduated Kindergarden and didnt know anything about it.

As of right now im self employed. Im reminded of the bills the Attorny General sends. Im up to I think is 6 thousand in unpaid CS. When I do see my son is rarely. I do get him what he needs. I dont have him for any holidays or any certain visits. I dont make payments for the fact is I think its unfair. And I think shes breaking the law more then I am.

As of I know now. I know she is in a relationship. Ive had one altercation with the gentlemen. Which he started. So as of right now. Im confused on what to do. And I have no type of help in my corner. Im the baby out of 4 boys. Grew up with no sisters. So I look at it like my son is missing out on growing up with somethin I didnt. Which Is sisters. But also just being with his FATHER.

Im not a criminal. Never been in trouble. Have no record. Never been in jain. And ill be damn to be sent away for something that makes no sense. If anybody has advice. Or jsut some type of light at the end of the tunnel. Id love to hear it. Thanks..

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Getting Burned Every Second Of The Day...

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Dec 28, 2010
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um...
by: Anonymous

irregardless is not a word!!!!

Jun 24, 2010
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The Other Side
by: Anonymous

I am always amazed that irregardless of who the custodial parent is (mom or dad) the non-custodial parent treats their obligation of child support like a payment to their ex. Do your children cease to need shelter, food and clothes just because you and their other parent divorce? I think not. I know there are cases of abuse, but in the end the children are the ones who suffer.

As for visitation, I am for the non-custodial parents who have posted here. No child should be denied access to either parent, unless that parent is a threat to the childs well being and then the courts should require a lot of evidence before denying visitation.

I have been divorced four years and my ex husband, even though he pays his child support, has been an angry, vengeful man. But, I have not ever denied him access to his son, and won't. Over time he has managed, by not showing up, to do more damage to himself and I still encourage our son to have a relationship with and to know his father. Our son will be 18 soon and the decision of a relationship with his dad will rest with him. I only hope his dad has not blown it.

Jun 03, 2010
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good luck
by: Anonymous

From sac but hope it will help not alone but is possible recommend finding self help group related to father plight, I was forced to go to parenting classes by the state due to ex allegations cost me 150 dollars turns out this group helped me a great deal which is what I recommend you do go to the self help center google til you find a group with interests in co parenting full custody you may never get but 50/50 is possible took me three years but I learned how to file paperworks, through group, found inexpensive lawyer, and can say it pays off the support money although you are stuck with and they charge interests so do your best to start sending some kind of money VIP do not give to ex directly ever!!!! go through court you can pay cps even if you don't have a case yet or money orders which you copy before giving to anyone otherwise youll get screwed again and again good luck

Jun 02, 2010
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I Know..I hear you
by: Anonymous

I understand what your going through but what I can tell you is that if you took a DNA test and that baby is yours then you have every right tobe a part of his life.I know its easier said than done but if you really want to be a part of his life anything you do is worth it. You might want to look at your child support order, on the 2nd page its talks about the conservatorship, if you have joint custody or not and even if you dont you still have the right to see him especially if you pay. I suggest you starte getting all your info together as far as pymts and visits then just how the mothers inforce the payments , well guess what you can enforce the visits but not as easily. File a motion of Contempt of court its about 65.oo plus additional filing fees. That will set you a court date to take her to court for not allowing you to visit when you have been paying and YOU can fine her up to 500.00. Believe me it can be done...my husband is currently confined in the bexar county jail for child support and never give hima chance to speak but so unfortunately for us its not gonna be good, Im filing for Petition to terminate parental rights...we have given up because we have not seen the little girl in 7 years only the mother when she goes to court when hes in jail and she bluntly told the judge that she did not want him in her daughters life and was never going to tell him where she resides.. The judge said nothing...so we will no longer try..So I wish you luck and the best...my friend did it, so can you..

Jun 01, 2010
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to I HAVE THE FACTS
by: Anonymous

It ISN'T ALWAYS FOR THE MOTHER!

May 31, 2010
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unfortunate
by: Anonymous

Dear getting burned,
It's unfortunate for u that life has been ugly for you, At this time until laws and procedures change with child support enforcement, regardless that you don't get to see the child you have to pay unless you request a review of enforcement and plead your case to the judge and show all facts and have proof to stand behind the facts, and hopefully the judge will see that you have been ripped from your parental rights and I hate to say it but he would have to lean in your favor, I only hate to say the favor part because it should not have to be a favor sides of issue it should be equal straight down the line unless one or the other parent is proven to be unfit. You will have to pay it's sad and it makes you angry I know my significant other has been dealing with this for about 20 years and I have been dealing with it with him for seven so I have seen how fathers for the most part get ripped of their father hood not by choice. It is sad that one or two dead beat dad's make it bad for the rest that are not dead beats dad's...I wish I had better answers or advise but this is the law right now, but you have the right to fight for your rights take her to court and have a review of the case and see what happens I am sure if you can prove to the judge that you provide for your son there can be an adjustment made to how much you would have to pay a month, then take her to court over custody and get joint custody ask that neither parent will have to pay child support due to you both providing for the child, then if she does not follow the order she will be in violation but in return same goes for you, so it is away that you both have to and can be a parent to the child. Just remember to document everything, anything you have to sign or when you receive papers or anything of the sort make sure you make copies and document the dates and times of it all. Hope things get better for your situation and if you get any change or justice in your case it would be great if you would share it.

May 30, 2010
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I have facts
by: Anonymous

I hear what you are saying. But take it from me and please take my advice. If not you will live to regret it. Own nothing, have no 401 k pay your child support because it is accruing interest. Any thing you have they can take except your house but they can put a cloud over it and you want be able to sell it. Dont have a checking or saving account. They can take it. Live on Cash only. You can and will go to jail if she decides to file it. Texas is bad on child support and not fair. They are for the mothers alone. Trust me just pay it and pay it through the child support division. I wish I had a light at the tunnel but untill the child support system is overhauled their will never fairness in Texas or any other state. Good luck

May 30, 2010
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some help hopefully
by: Kay

Most states have Family Facilitator in each state. Go to them or go to the Prosecutor, contact your state? Good luck

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Getting Burned Every Second Of The Day...

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Getting Burned Every Second Of The Day...