Good father treated bad

by Robert
(Warrenton, virginia)

My ex-wife left me and took our kids shortly after my brother committed suicide. I was at what I thought was the lowest point in my life. Since then we have been to custody court and I was oredered to pay child and spousal support of almost $900.00 bi-weekly. Before that our Attorneys agreed that I pay her $1200.00 a month to help her with her bills which I did, trying to do the right thing and be a good person. That alone ended up being $7000.00 before we even made it to court.

Since Jan. 2011 I have made all the required payments and have all my receipts. My ex decided she wants to financialy ruin me and even said so in a nasty E-mail sent to me. She went through DCSE and had the money taken directly out of my paycheck. That kinda hurt because I had my bills set up so that I was able to keep up with everything but since then I'm now falling behind in my household bills.

I work a schedule where during one week I have off two days in the middle of the week and the other I have off the first of the week and a three day weekend and am suppose to have shared physical custody of our 2 children. She refuses to get a better job to help herself and has made up her own rules and decides when she wants to take any of my visitation days she wants and not even attempt to return or make up those days.

I am suppose to be allowed to contact the children 2 times a day when she has them but again she makes up her own rules and doesn't answer the phone so I cannot speak to them which she knows gets me upset. I basically have no relationship with my daughter any longer since my ex has turned her against me. Since Christmas I have spent less than 24 hrs with her. On top of all this DCSE has sent me a letter stating that I am almost 4k behind in support even thought they take money directly from my paycheck. I love my children and would give my life for them as I'm sure any loving father would.

I think the courts need to take a fresh look at what's going on and realize that they need to update the court codes they use (from 1950's)since I thought, times had changed. I feel that in this day and age, not too many fathers are actively present and involved in their kids lives, and here I am fighting so hard to be part of their lives and feel like I am being punished for being a good father and for what I thought a good husband.




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No Trust in Government rights for fathers
by: Anonymous

Me and my ex had a kid a year ago on the 31st of Jan. Me and her was never really together together and what not but regaurdless of that i told her i would always take care of my child weahter me and her together or not. im not here to bash here but she is far from someone i would make a wife. So i moved on didnt want to be with her but was willing to be friends and what not for the child. well of course she didnt like that. in her mind if im hurting her by not being with her she will do it by holding my child from me. I havent seen my son since July 2011 didnt see him forthanksgiving, xmas, or new years. probably wont see him for his birthday. Of course she is trying to get money and all the benifits but not willing to let me see my child. i dont mind paying child support. i sent them a letter stating that i will pay my child support. he is already under my insureance i already has a account set up for him which has plenty of money in it. last time she said i could see him i went home (in the military) and i called over and over texted emailed and never got a response. she would text my mom and send her pictures just for spite nowing i was down there. i get back and she needed something and then she called and text. i have asked everyone courts sherrif lawyers any and everyone and i get the same thing we cant do anything we cant hurry it up blah blah blah. but yet child support on a mission and is hurrying as fast as possible. i dont know how they can take a (willing) fathers money but not help him get visition rights

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Not everyother weekend daddy
by: Anonymous

I am self employed and i just lost my best account. It was 97percent of my business. My ex cheated and she quit work but she got her màsters in nursing and still dors not work. I pay 1200 a month for two kids and half all schooling . What Can i do if she works Now and i do not make much since i lost my account bc i was going through divorce and got depressed and never thought she would cheat. I live in alabama and i need help . We split custody and i have week and she has week. Please help a man That is not an every other weekend daddy

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Dad's get the short ened of the stick thanx to DeadBeat dads!
by: Anonymous

My husband and I have been in an on-going custody and child support battle with his ex for 5 years. She lives in Florida and we live in Oklahoma and my husband was in the military during their divorce so he was not able to attend the final court hearing and she got full custody and everything she wanted including $1200/ month in child support. She refused to let us see the kids for 3 years and within the last two years has just let them come visit us for the summer. It took us 5 years to get everything straighten out with support because they had it listed that he owed 7,000 in back support and were taking our tax returns and garnishing checks when the courts made a mistake and never wiped his child support clean when they were supposed to. she gets 1200/ month in child support yet she is 4 months behind on mortgage payments and the only new clothes the kids have that fit are the ones we buy them every summer when they are here, she is using her child support to go drinking and out looking for guys instead of to pay the house payment and buy them clothes and necessities. How do we get the courts to see this and file for joint and or full custody. We have a house and a much better stable environment for our children to grow up in.

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Bottomline
by: Anonymous

I know how you feel. I have dealt with the ex making her own rules and doing as she pleases. But im going to give it to you straight. The courts will never change because the state makes to much money off the fathers. They know we get screwed and they dont care. Ive been paying child support for since 05 and i live in oklahoma. But every state is just about the same on its laws. You dont see mothers that pay child support lose their licence, go to jail, etc. Bottom line it comes dont to a greedy goverment. You have any idea how much money they would lose if they updated the laws. Its all about the money!!!!!!!

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Sorry to hear but your a father the legal system does not care about us
by: Anonymous

I am a non-custodial parent in Texas and the OAG's office siezed my bank account when I was only 2 months behind even though I had gone through a layoff.

The mother kidnapped my child during the entire divorce, leveraged my not seeing my daughter to extort money, possessions and custody out of me.

To this day she simply contacts the OAG and they (with no notice or "day in court") drastically increased my support when I am only a couple months behind even though in reality I do not make enough money to warrant the amount I was strong armed into agreeing to.

The mother refuses to let me see my child per the custody order (which should be thrown out for alienating me from my child as it stands) and the state will do NOTHING TO HELP ME

My ex-wife just asks and the OAG's office does everything they can to destroy my life and the life of my other daughter who lives with me.

My ex lives with a co-worker and they make 100k per year I don't make 24k per year yet I am the whipping boy and (as far as the OAG's office could care) am there to be punished repeatedly.

I have written talked to and begged for help yet no one in the Texas legal system gives a s#$t about non-custodial fathers.

It's a travesty between my ex, her new boyfriend and the OAG's office they have punished me to the point that I may just have to give up completely on being in my daughters life.

When will someone stand up for good fathers against natzi crazed vindictive ex-wives?

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Take action!!
by: Anonymous

Brother, your ex is in contempt of court!!!!! Everything that she does you are to keep a log with every detail. She doesn't realize when you share custody it doesn't matter who the kids live with. That is why the agreement was made! She wouldn't let up on you if you messed up! So file your motion for a contempt of court hearing!

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Hell with the Kids....they'll learn.
by: Anonymous

I am Considered as a Criminal not a Father at all in the States, with No Complaints nor Committing a crime.

I don't blame anyone nor these poor person(s), but; Education and Understanding needs to be in order Per-INDIVIDUAL and It's not by any Law(s). These Poor people don't have the Knowledge nor Management skills to raise a family inculding The Rich.

Once again, I won't Marry any women(s) with anyone else's CHILD, nor have any CHILD(ren's) with them ON TOP of those KIDS.

That's why I lost the Trust and Faith or Belief in the System and the Sickness of Peasants with Maggots.

As to the Bill of Rights and their Amendments of the U.S. Constitution and these Law(s) of Honor Among Thieves of socal Fake Judges in NYC. If you're an innocent person put to death, Why have any Kids....When you're a CRIMINAL.

That's what the States had turn me into, A Non-believer Under of any Oath and Law(s).- Just like them.

Why Have Any Children(s) when there's no love nor respect from Strangers.


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Breaking the Cycle!!!
by: Anonymous

I understand you 1000 percent!!!!! I went through the same thing! My daughter's mother don't want to work. So she told me that because I am working she doesn't have to work!! I surely fixed that problem. My instincts told me that it was time to take a stand against a lazy woman! Now I have shared legal custody and I went from paying $444.00 a month to $87.00 a month!!!! Now she has to communicate with me know matter what it is in the custody order. If she doesn't abide by the ordetr she knows that I am not playing with her, she will be back in court this time full custody will be the final decision!!!!! If a non working mother is your childs 1st role model then don't expect anymore from your children!!!

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