Grandmother

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Grandmother

I think the child support check should be based on what a person can afford. How is one to live, pay rent, make a car payment pay bills etc. If one fourth of your paycheck is going to child support! whats even sadder is the ex wife is making more money than the man and even getting free loans for college and spending it on expensive hair cuts and clothing. The ex is also using the children as a weapon, stealing them from father not relating where they are etc. accusing male of shoving her etc. knowing full well everything out of her mouth is a lie. Its a case of "she said " he said" yet Texas always seems to side with mother. Its suppose to help the children, but mostly it lines the pockets of mothers that spend it NOT on the children but on clothing for herself.

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Grandmother

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Feb 24, 2010
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grandmother
by: Anonymous

listen please my son was 27 when he married waiting for right lady less then a month after my only granddaughter was born her mom left my son and moved into her parents and filed for dicorce. since then i have not seen my grand daughter her mother and i had differences but what bothers me is that my son was accused of abuse and i lived next door to them not once did the police get called not once did i hear my son raise his voice to her but she was abusive to him. my son didint fught for his rights then and now he will pay for that forever he has not seen his daughter but still payes every month for her support the courts are very biased towards the woman and believe her every word .

Jun 09, 2009
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Still Whining
by: Anonymous

I agree with 'Get Real'. The NCP's placed themselves in their own situations. If more $ is needed because of the cost of living, so be it. You think a mother should be living off of $200/month for 2-3 kids from an Order that was in place 10 years prior??? Give me a break! You think the kids' needs will be the same or at the same cost as it would've been 10 years or so prior to the Order being in placed??? Give me a break! There's always drama & it should be expected. The thing is, who's more mature about themselves within the situation. If the CP is doing anything outside of the Orders, tell the courts/ get an attorney. Stop friggin whining! And the grandparents need to keep their noses out of the parent's business so much. If you're caring for the kids as much as or more than the parents, seek custody. Other than that, you'd think you'd raised your own children well enough to not have gotten into this mess in the first place! It's called RESPONSIBILITY!

Apr 21, 2009
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Child Support
by: Anonymous

I have 3 wonderful grandsons that my son has to pay child support for. He is an independant contractor so basically has his own business. When he went to court they did they figured the amount of child support on his total gross income before taking out his business expenses. Let's just say that he now basically brings no money home at times and has nothing to live on. Seriously. If it weren't for me he would be on the streets living. He can't afford to live anywhere else, he can't afford health insurance, not even from the state. He can't pay his bills, which then I try to keep up with. The court doesn't even want to listen about this. He doesn't not want to support his kids, of course he does, but he has to be able to survive as well. This really has nothing to do with the relationship with the mom as they have a good one. I just can't understand how the court system thinks that they can do this to a Dad, and then put them in jail because they can't pay? He is not a dead beat Dad, he is not a Dad who doesn't want anything to do with his kids. He's a great Dad. Some how there has to be a fairness, a way that these Dad's can pay child support but still be able to survive themselves. It is more than just about the Moms. THey need to think about the Dads

Mar 13, 2009
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Eventually it stops being about the kid(s)
by: Anonymous

I am a step mom to a non custodial parent. Everytime mommy gets a bug up her but my husband is in court so she can have more money. The judge don't even listen to his side of the story. When he was full time in school, the judge told him to quit and get a job, when he wasn't working and his dad was sick/dying the judge didnt want to hear it. She always brings up me and my income. Even when we had only been together for a few months. I have no part in what he pays yet they always add it into the mix. Everytime we hit a milestone she gets upset and he is in court. We can not get ahead. she is not the only "baby mama. yet, now he is paying close to 2000 a month in child support and insurance. I work a low paying job and we have our own bills to cover, but that doesnt matter. The problem here is the care for the children is not what people are worried about did the judge take into consideration she lives at home with her parents with a Bach degree and makes more than me, with a paid off car and no school loans NO!! shes just a woman!! So,, give her the money. But when the child needs something she will call, and we will get it for him.. when christmas comes around or his birthday, we will buy him those awesome gifts, when he comes over we take him where he wants to go, dinner, zoo, whatever. So really, really does she NEED more money or is it just spite and hatefulness. Isn't there a better way.

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Mar 13, 2009
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Submitted by: Anonymous

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I am a step mom to a non custodial parent. Everytime mommy gets a bug up her but my husband is in court so she can have more money. The judge don't even listen to his side of the story. When he was full time in school, the judge told him to quit and get a job, when he wasn't working and his dad was sick/dying the judge didnt want to hear it. She always brings up me and my income. Even when we had only been together for a few months. I have no part in what he pays yet they always add it into the mix. Everytime we hit a milestone she gets upset and he is in court. We can not get ahead. she is not the only "baby mama. yet, now he is paying close to 2000 a month in child support and insurance. I work a low paying job and we have our own bills to cover, but that doesnt matter. The problem here is the care for the children is not what people are worried about did the judge take into consideration she lives at home with her parents with a Bach degree and makes more than me, with a paid off car and no school loans NO!! shes just a woman!! So,, give her the money. But when the child needs something she will call, and we will get it for him.. when christmas comes around or his birthday, we will buy him those awesome gifts, when he comes over we take him where he wants to go, dinner, zoo, whatever. So really, really does she NEED more money or is it just spite and hatefulness. Isn't there a better way.

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Jan 13, 2009
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Tips from Grandma age 51, do best for all
by: Anonymous

Tips from a Grandma that has experienced the pains...and still experiencing the results.

Forget the emotional stuff between you and your X and work together best you can for the child's sake. Remember you are teaching by everything the child sees and hears you do. Do NOt teach hate. Do NOT use the child as a pawn. The better both parents do the better it is for the child and how they will turn out in the future. The child likes both parents and should not feel pulled differently. Help your child grow up as normal as possible. The future is depending on how you treat people and your children now...the older you get the more you will understand this. Also, many people are effected, family, friends, society.
CEN

Oct 15, 2008
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It is always so sad
by: Anonymous

When it becomes more about the money than doing the right thing.

My ex d-i-l literally crippled my son, emotionally, mentally, and physically. Her infidelity led to divorce, and they ended up in a shared custody situation. My son requested full custody, but the court in its' wisdom, felt my grandson needed both parents, and under normal circumstances, I would agree.

This was 5 years ago, and while they tried to make it work, things are now at the point where she has disappeared with our grandson, and my son not only is unemployed, he faces child support payment arrearages over $20,000.

Can he afford legal fees to help locate his son? NO - if he could he wouldn't owe for child support. Has he the emotional, mental or physical strength he needs to face the situation? NO.

These situations affect not only the couple and the child, but the extended families, as well.

She wants money, the court and the lawyers all want money, and in the meantime my grandson grows up not knowing what-the-flip happened to his family.

There has to be a better way.

Sep 03, 2008
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Try being the Grandmother
by: Anonymous

I have a daughter that blessed me with my first born grandson, However, after being married only 8 months, she decided that marriage and motherhood was not for her. She moved in with my husband and I with our grandson. He was 3 months old. We have had him ever since, supported him, loved him, cared for him, changed our lives to accommodate him with no help from her or the father. When the baby was 11 months old, my daughter filed for divorce which sparked a custody battle. Not that the father wanted his son because he loves him, but for revenge against my daughter. I put out over $8000 to help my daughter (aka ME) keep my grandson. Ironically, she was pregnant now by another man, and the father of my grandson got his current girlfriend pregnant. They are both immature and have no business raising any children as they cannot raise themselves! After a year of fighting and the Judge thought even though the father hadn't seen his son in 7 months for his own selfish reasons, that the baby would go to him for 1 week and us for 1 week. My daughter sort of lived with me at the time. The last hearing, he didn't show so my daughter got what she wanted. Or...I did. Now I have always supported this baby, yet when child support was set, my daughter spent it all on herself. Long story short, I have my grandson still and he is now 4 years old, my almost 80 year old parents have her second child and she is pregnant yet again with another man's child. The court case was closed due to lack of activity, she is still married to her first husband that hasn't seen or tried to contact his son in 3 years now and I am the one trying to get child support for him. We go to court Sept 15th. He is in a private daycare where I pay $540-$675 a month, depending on how many weeks are in the month, he goes to Sunday school every week, he has a clean safe home, room of his own, more toys and clothes than any 10 kids has and all the love from us. Everything his parents cannot give him. After Granville vs Troxille ruining grandparents rights, this is a case that should be in the books as a reason for a grandparent to have the child.

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Sep 03, 2008
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Submitted by: Anonymous

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I have a daughter that blessed me with my first born grandson, However, after being married only 8 months, she decided that marriage and motherhood was not for her. She moved in with my husband and I with our grandson. He was 3 months old. We have had him ever since, supported him, loved him, cared for him, changed our lives to accommodate him with no help from her or the father. When the baby was 11 months old, my daughter filed for divorce which sparked a custody battle. Not that the father wanted his son because he loves him, but for revenge against my daughter. I put out over $8000 to help my daughter (aka ME) keep my grandson. Ironically, she was pregnant now by another man, and the father of my grandson got his current girlfriend pregnant. They are both immature and have no business raising any children as they cannot raise themselves! After a year of fighting and the Judge thought even though the father hadn't seen his son in 7 months for his own selfish reasons, that the baby would go to him for 1 week and us for 1 week. My daughter sort of lived with me at the time. The last hearing, he didn't show so my daughter got what she wanted. Or...I did. Now I have always supported this baby, yet when child support was set, my daughter spent it all on herself. Long story short, I have my grandson still and he is now 4 years old, my almost 80 year old parents have her second child and she is pregnant yet again with another man's child. The court case was closed due to lack of activity, she is still married to her first husband that hasn't seen or tried to contact his son in 3 years now and I am the one trying to get child support for him. We go to court Sept 15th. He is in a private daycare where I pay $540-$675 a month, depending on how many weeks are in the month, he goes to Sunday school every week, he has a clean safe home, room of his own, more toys and clothes than any 10 kids has and all the love from us. Everything his parents cannot give him. After Granville vs Troxille ruining grandparents rights, this is a case that should be in the books as a reason for a grandparent to have the child.

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Aug 28, 2008
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Dead Beat Parents
by: Anonymous

Why don't you try living on 25 dollars a month child support for two children and your income. Now I get 401 because he got a job. But he quit after a month of wage garnishment. I am also going to college but working full time to support my daughter. I also have 60,000 in medical debt on her which he doesn't have to help pay. Child support is to help the parent with day to day cost of raising their child. They can spend it on whatever they want as long as the child is being well taken care of. I live with my parents because I do not make enough for rent trying to pay past due medical bills. I also pay 300 a month for medical insurance for my daughter which he doent help pay for. So maybe you should quit your complaining and put yourself in my shoes for awhile. I have never denied him rights to see his daughter he just won't even talk with her on the phone. And I have to pay half the airfair if he wants to have visitation.

Jun 24, 2008
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Child support
by: MOM

Ok Im a mom of 2 and step mom of 2. I get child support for one of my kids. Either father excercises their right to see thier kids.. My 2 step kids we pay a combined payment of close to 800/month.. The mothers are low lifes an we dont see either kid. So I hate to pay them child support BUT.. I like getting child support for the child that does get it in my home.. And I spend it any damn way I want.. I look at it as partial reimbursement for what I pay for every month.. Seeing as "dads" 400 a month does not even pay for her daycare muchless clothes, activities, an just any of the other stuff that a 5 year old may need or want. So your damn right I don't feel bad that I spend the child support on what I WANT!! My husband pays 800 month so his checks weekly are usually about 300 bring home.. so his baby mommas get his money for reimbursement.. Its just a big circle.. So in closing.. as long as the child is taken care of..thats all that matters..

Jun 22, 2008
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TIRED OF THE STATE OF ILLINOIS
by: Anonymous

I AM A FATHER WHO PAYS HIS CHILD SUPPORT EVERY 2 WEEKS AND I JUST RECEIVED A MODIFICATION ORDER FOR CHILD SUPPORT INCREASING IT $200.00 A MONTH. I HAVE 2 OTHER SIBLINGS I AM TRYING TO SUPPORT WORKING DAY IN AND DAY OUT. WHY IS THE STATE ABLE TO SLAM THE GOOD PARENTS AND NOT EVEN CHASE THE DEADBEAT FATHER MY STEP-DAUGHTER HAS THIS JUST MAKES NO SENSE AND I AM TIRED OF GETTING THE SHAFT ON SUPPORT EVERYTIME I TRY TO GET AHEAD IN LIFE.

Jun 20, 2008
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Happens Everyday
by: It is REAL

I beg to differ about her being a dead beat parent. The custodial parent gets over; no wonder so many men don't want to pay support. At least she gets to see her stepkids. My husband pays $700 a month for a daughter he does not see. All I want is for my son and his sister to have a relationship. No amount of child support could pay for that. Don't be so quick to judge!!! You couldn't walk two steps in her shoes!!

Jun 20, 2008
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SAD Case
by: SAD

The courts usuually do side with the mother in most cases because the majority of time the mom ends up with the kids. In this case one thinks twice about going to work everyday just to send most of the money to a household that is being vendictive. Right now my husband is making less money than he did when he was in the military and he pays double the child support. It seems as if the system wants the paying parent to struggle.

Jun 14, 2008
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On Both Sides
by: Anonymous

I am a mother of 3 boys, I have 2 Step daughters. My new husband of 3yrs just had his child support raised and he is only living on $70 a week now. He is a former member of the U.S. Army and lost his finger in a terrible accident way back in '91 while serving his country. He and my ex both work at the same factory making the same money, and he sees his girls 2x a week, he calls them everyday, and supports 2 households. But now I am unemployed, tring to go to school but now I need to find work in a hurry so I can help with just living. We don't go to eat, go to movies, buy anything other than the nessessities of life. His ex on the other hand farms the kids out, drinks like a fish, and gets her nails done while my step daughter wears clothes too small for her. Mom doesn't have the money!! Bull crap!!!

Jun 11, 2008
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Get Real
by: Anonymous

You sound like all the dead beat dads and moms that are out there. Get real!!!!

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Grandmother

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