I feel you. The BM, all they think about is $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$. You can give all the money you want and it's still not enough. Now I know you're mad because the car is in her name and you feel you can't do anything about it but have you thought about NOT paying the note because with the car being in HER name, they will be calling her for the payments not you. Then when the car note isn't paid, they will come repo it and guess who credit will be messed up? YES, hers since she "say its her car". Yeah, you'll be subject to being no good but look at this way. You still paying the note, still giving money and you still no good. Feel me. Either way it goes, you still not doin enough. She can't talk because she ain't trying to go find a job and get an apartment for her and ya'll son. She still shacking and mouching off her mama so she can't talk bout you living with yours. Our mothers are gonna always be there for us regardless. That's why she's with hers. So if she do file child support, stop payin the carnote and she'll see that she will be getting less than what you're dishin out now. Then it will be too late. Especially if she don't go to school to be herself or have a job, you haven't mentioned neither so I take she don't. Just keep yo head above water and do what you gotta do for you child not for the mother because either way it goes, THESE DAMN BABY MOMMAS WILL SPEND THE MONEY ON THEMSELVES ANYWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jun 11, 2009 Rating
P.I. Advice by: G. Young
I'm a former Private Investigator and the wife of a paternity fraud victim and that's why I review this site...
First, calm down. Name calling and cursing is not how you win this game. You need evidence that this woman isn't the best mother and your child would be better off with you alone.
I use to skip trace for various collection companies including the vehicle repo people. Fact... it doesn't matter where the cash originated from, the CONTRACT has her name on it. You're a THIRD PARTY to them, and their business isn't with you legally, it with her. They can amend a loan and add you to it, if you want to take on the legal burden of repayment when she refuses to pay, but she'll have to okay it first with her's being the only owner name showing.
Second, DOCUMENT EVERYTHING... RECORD any negative comments about the child, it's upbringing, the living conditions or whatever. Get her mad over the phone (so it can't come to physical blows), put the phone on speaker (if you don't have a built in digital) and use a recorder. It's not illegal to record your own conversatons within your own house and the tape is admissable in court.
Third, hire an investigator before hiring an attorney. Find out who else knew what she did and how she lives and have their full name and current contact info available for summons when you're ready to take the mom to court. Try to find the most religous based person close to the mom as they have the tendency not to lie on the stand. You gather as much info as possible before hiring the attorney because attorneys will hire investigators to obtain background on cases and charge you double the fee. Not only is she getting support from you (that you currently are not documenting through the courts) but may be getting money under the table from other men that may think they are "the real dad" and then there's welfare fraud to consider. If they lie to one state agency for cash, they'll lie to several. Your lack of paying set support through the system is not helping your case. Your WORD that you've been the main support of your child is inadequate, especially if her family falusely testifys that you do nothing.
We've been there - Good Luck - and please read my posting TWINS. I'm experimenting in volumn posts concerning paternity fraud as gathering massive victims could lead to a CLASS ACTION suit that could get the laws changed in this country. Leave some contact info if you're interested. Thnx
