My husband is going through a nightmare right now. I am his second wife and seeing first hand how this nightmare is taking a toll on, not only his life, but mine as well. Out of his first marriage he had a daughter. Well, as the years went by, five or six years later, she became pregnant again. The second child however was not my husbands. The father, biological father, of the child did not take any of the responsibility. So my husband took on that roll and rasied the child as his own.
A few years later their marriage ended in a divorce and within that divorce decree it was stated that two children were born of the marriage. Well once the child support was set and my husband started having his wages garnished from his paycheck life went on. He did exactly what he was suppose to do. Had insurance covered on the children, paid the child support, picked up the children when he was suppose to as stated in the decree, and also for years paid for their school supplies. Well when the child, the child that biologically wasn't my husbands, when he turned around seven years old, the mother decides she wants to get in contact with the natural father and have him around the child. The child who has never known of this man, is then told "This is your Real Father". My husbands visitations with the boy became less and less. The boy at one time tells him your not my real dad, this other man is. Paying child support has never been an issue with us.
The issue is, if the natural father wants to come into his life now after 7/8 years, then why can't he take on the responsibility? At one point we thought he would. We set up a meeting and had papers drawn so the natural father could have his rights back and when he was told that the child support would then be his responsibility he then decided he didn't want to sign the papers. My husband and my frustration is that this man is still continously seeing this child on a regular basis and the mother allows him to take him on my husbands visitation time.
For Christmas we did not get to see him because he was with his natural father. We went to an attorney and were told that there couldn't be anything done since my husband has already been paying for over five years. My husbands daughter will be 18 this year and the child support will end with her, but he will still pay on this child for another 5/6 years while the natural father is still spending time with the child and not playing his full roll as a father. We asked a representive at the Attorney General's office what would happen if the mother decided to let the child live with the natural father. We asked this since the child is now 12 and will be turning 13 this years old and is able to decide who he wants to live with. We are suspicous that he may already be living with his natural father because we call him weekly and he is never there. The representive told us that the natural father could have the mother and my husband pay child support to the natural father.
All of this has been a never ending headache. Every attorney we have talked to has not given us any hope. We are just about to give up on the fact that there isn't anything we can do about it. When we try to see the child the mother tells us that the child doesn't want to come over and she can't make him, which we totally understand. At the same time it really hurts when he would rather spend time and be with his natural father who gave him up so easily when he was an infant. If anyone reads this and has any helpful advice, please do so. Thank you.
Comments for
Having to pay for a child that isn't yours.
Please write to your Congress persons and write a letter to Kay Bailey Hutchinson and John Cornyn too. Let them know exactly what is going on. The Texas Governer's Race is going on in November. Get in touch with EVERY running candidate and tell them your story and ask them what they would do if they were Governor to help people like you. Tell them you are going to EVERY candidate with this information and you want answers NOW. Tell them the best candidate will get your vote despite party affiliations because getting someone in office that will do something to change the issues within the state of Texas is more important to you than voting for a particular party. This can get news coverage! Write to NBC, ABC, CBS, FOX, NBC -whoever will listen to your story. Also write to the White House and other state representatives. Let them know there is power in numbers. Make a you tube video of every phone call on speaker phone with every person you talk to about this matter and start posting it online and see what high hits will do for their attention span. I promise you, every time you have an issue, make it known whether it's a bank, utility company, or state or government agency, if we all come together and do this, change will happen. Keep every letter and email you send out and their responses to all these offices. Because when you go to their website you have to fill out their online form. keep a copy of what you send them for your records, keep a copy on your hard drive AND your email so you won't/can't lose it.
You will see changes being made much quicker if you listen to my advise. Trust me, it's worked for me time and again. I've had to fight my way through live to achieve justice! I use my words, my documentation, letters, and emails, videos and all in order to make change. Best of luck to you, you are in my prayers!
Written by a Christian Conservative Morals kind of person, but one who votes across party lines and works hard to stimulate change for this beautiful country called The United States of America.
Feb 19, 2010 Rating
I Agree by: Anonymous
Yes I understand what your going through,our laws should be modified!!! If you don't get to see the child whats the purpose in paying? They Law only knows someone has to pay and who cares what the situation is. I think they should do more about it then let just anyone pay for a child thats not his/hes. Also they should make it where they have to prove that you are the parent!!
Feb 05, 2010 Rating
. by: Anonymous
how about having your husband sign his rights over? I would still try and take this matter to court!