Having to pay for a child that isn't yours.
My husband is going through a nightmare right now. I am his second wife and seeing first hand how this nightmare is taking a toll on, not only his life, but mine as well. Out of his first marriage he had a daughter. Well, as the years went by, five or six years later, she became pregnant again. The second child however was not my husbands. The father, biological father, of the child did not take any of the responsibility. So my husband took on that roll and rasied the child as his own.
A few years later their marriage ended in a divorce and within that divorce decree it was stated that two children were born of the marriage. Well once the child support was set and my husband started having his wages garnished from his paycheck life went on. He did exactly what he was suppose to do. Had insurance covered on the children, paid the child support, picked up the children when he was suppose to as stated in the decree, and also for years paid for their school supplies. Well when the child, the child that biologically wasn't my husbands, when he turned around seven years old, the mother decides she wants to get in contact with the natural father and have him around the child. The child who has never known of this man, is then told "This is your Real Father". My husbands visitations with the boy became less and less. The boy at one time tells him your not my real dad, this other man is. Paying child support has never been an issue with us.
The issue is, if the natural father wants to come into his life now after 7/8 years, then why can't he take on the responsibility? At one point we thought he would. We set up a meeting and had papers drawn so the natural father could have his rights back and when he was told that the child support would then be his responsibility he then decided he didn't want to sign the papers. My husband and my frustration is that this man is still continously seeing this child on a regular basis and the mother allows him to take him on my husbands visitation time.
For Christmas we did not get to see him because he was with his natural father. We went to an attorney and were told that there couldn't be anything done since my husband has already been paying for over five years. My husbands daughter will be 18 this year and the child support will end with her, but he will still pay on this child for another 5/6 years while the natural father is still spending time with the child and not playing his full roll as a father. We asked a representive at the Attorney General's office what would happen if the mother decided to let the child live with the natural father. We asked this since the child is now 12 and will be turning 13 this years old and is able to decide who he wants to live with. We are suspicous that he may already be living with his natural father because we call him weekly and he is never there. The representive told us that the natural father could have the mother and my husband pay child support to the natural father.
All of this has been a never ending headache. Every attorney we have talked to has not given us any hope. We are just about to give up on the fact that there isn't anything we can do about it. When we try to see the child the mother tells us that the child doesn't want to come over and she can't make him, which we totally understand. At the same time it really hurts when he would rather spend time and be with his natural father who gave him up so easily when he was an infant.
If anyone reads this and has any helpful advice, please do so.
Thank you.
