He always finds the loop holes...

by Jen
(New Castle, PA)

I have two wonderful children. But, if you were to grab a Webster's and look up "deadbeat" you will find their father's picture. I understand things happen and people go through hard times, I have too. So, when he was struggling with life, I laid back. I didn't ask a thing from him. He was so messed up on drugs, that I just wanted him to stay away. I raised my children on my own with the help of his mom. She was the most wonderful grandma you could hope for. My ex, disappearing for months and years at a time I really didn't have to much drama to deal with. And with the kind of drama he causes it was worth not asking for support. But, over time you forget the previous drama and concentrate on your current problems. And my were bills. I don't even make enough to pay my survival bills. I don't have any debt to anyone but, utilities and landlords. But, I still can't make it. So I finally go and apply for support. He was "supposed to pay starting 8 months ago. He never did. His mom died in January and he came home, after being gone over a year. When he returned he thought he deserved full parental rights. I was not going for it. Thank goodness, his mother talked me into going for full custody of the kids. I never thought it would turn to that. But, I loved my children to much to risk it. I don't feel my kids are safe in his hands.

However, being the sympatric person I am I allowed him to see the kids when his dad was around. I kept asking when are you going to get a job and start taking some of the responsibilities of parenting. By now its 4 months of being home and not working. Well, then he took me back to suspend the child support I wasn't getting anyway. And he WON!! A capable 32 year old man was granted permission not to work and support his kids because he has a drug problem. The state pays him $90 something every 2 weeks for having a drug addiction. Plus over $200 in free food. This may not sound like much but, when you have NO bills and responsibility and do nothing for it. ??? Meanwhile, I'm struggling to support my kids on my own. So, I decide to call and say if you give him disability $ you should give my kids some too. They told me since I was not used to getting it, that they can't help me and my kids.

So now do I not only get screwed outta support. But, I gotta pay a babysitter to watch my children so I can work because my kids grandma died. And I thought it was hard before. Do you know how much child care is????? They told me about a program to help pay for child care for working parents. I was already aware of the program and have to wait until the state gets more $ for new applicants. They said if I get a new job they can help. But, I don't want to new job. Does it really matter? So, all the low-life that find the loop holes (like my ex) get the help. But, if you are a respectable working parent actually struggling.... you're screwed! The state needs all their monies for the drug addict. So in this I'm leaving on a bitter note.