How High is YOUR Arrearage?

by Jw
(Nebraska)

I am a single mother of 4 minor children, and do my very best to raise my kids with very little to no child support. Now mind you, the ex did pay quite nicely for 3yrs straight, but in January of '09, it once again came to an abrupt halt. I just lost my own job due to vicious rumors of the boss' wife, and I'm out there, everyday, looking for a new job. Money is gone, we are on food stamps, and my kids are on medicaid!


How pathetic is all of that? My children wouldn't be in this bind, if their father would pay his child support. I feel that he doesn't pay, because he feels he's being punished. Well, little do the deadbeat parents out there know, that child support is NOT a punishment by any definition it's simply monetary help for the custodial parent to make sure the children's needs are being met!! I mean, the custodial parent didn't make the child(ren) all by themselves!! You all know what I mean.

Anyhow, I have been in and out of the courtroom against my ex, no less than probably 30x's, trying to get the child support that my kids so rightfully deserve!!! It took several years to get a decent judge as well!!! Once we did, the ex was sent to jail, let out on home/work release, but with the ankle monitoring bracelet. Now the judge that did that, was AWESOME!!! But here my kids sit...no child support now since January...the father calls and lies to them that he is going back to work around Oct.1st, for the company that confirmed his termination by firing him! I am at a point in my life, where "why do I even bother?" I have no money for a lawyer, and don't know how to go about pulling his rump back into court 'pro-se'. I will figure something out for my kid's sakes tho!

Oh yea!.....my ex's child support starting Sept.1st, '09...will officially be over $50,000.00 in arrears!!!! What my kids wouldn't GIVE to have even $5k of that !!!! No matter the situation, he still owes what he owes...and so I feel for all of you out there, who are trying their hardest to make ends meet for your children! I know where you are coming from, especially if its ended up where you need your state's governmental help!

Good luck to you all!!!! May God Bless!!

Comments for How High is YOUR Arrearage?

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Then HE deserves it
by: Anonymous

If he is truely a dead beat dad then yes he should go to jail because he wants to be a dead beat dad, he is a sorry f***er. It guys like him who have made it real bad for guys lke myself. There are a lot of non-custaodial parents out there that are going to jail because they are willing to but unable to make there payments because of lack of a job or some unforseen aaccident, but the law looks at them all as dead beat dads thats why people are so upset about the going to jail thing. I have read about a non custodial parent going to jail because they were unable to make there payments because of a horrible car wreck that left them in the hospital and paralized but he got arrested the day he got out of the hospital. There has got to be a better way.

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Deadbeat!!!
by: Anonymous

Long story short. Single mom of 2 that are now 13 and 14 and since 1999 the non-custodial parent(their dad), yes we were married, owes over 61,000 in back support. He has never provided health insurance or helped with any medical bills.
I have always worked full time and even put myself back through school so that I alone without his help could take care of my kids better. He went to Alaska a few years ago and while he was still married to his second wife got an Alaskan girl pregnant. Now they have 2 babies.
She doesn't work and he apparently gets paid under the table as he has never had any wages garnished. I know she gets help from the Governement because she is an Alaskan native and he just sent 1,000 lbs of Salmom to his friend to sell in Wisconsin. I have written letters to the Governor and was told they wouldn't put him in jail. If he is on his new kids birth cert isn't he going to be responsible for paying back any state or fed help if she is getting it? Why if he has to will his first kids have to sacrifice anymore because of his failures? He makes me sick and so does she and the system. These people need to be nuetered and spade and put in jail only to be on work release until the back support is paid in full. There is a flaw to the system that allows these people to evade their responsibility to their children. He only has to pay me 400/month. That's nothing these days. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired of all this crap!!!

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Replies to what you all said...
by: JW

Okay guys, you are right..."awesome" wasn't the right word for his being in jail for non-payment of his support. I understand that you all seemed quite upset with me for what I blogged on here. My point was mainly that he gets away with not taking care of his responsibilities...as I didn't lay in that bed alone!! Up until just weeks ago, I am the one who's provided for all of their needs, while the father sits around gambling, drinking, smoking, and telling lies! If the court system felt he didn't deserve jail time, then they wouldn't have given it to him! He refuses to work...he is able bodied, but refuses to.
I didnt intend to upset anyone out there who may read my original blog. I just wanted others to know what my kids have been thru, what I have been thru, and how it's so easy for kids to fall thru the systems' cracks.
The reason I said that he finally ended up in jail and that it was 'awesome', was because I had been fighting for so many years to get the kids what is rightfully deserved to them. I realize that when people are in jail, it takes hard-working tax paying dollars to house them. But civil matter or not, why should non-custodial parents get away with NOT following court orders? It's against the law, and my ex broke the law, and was punished for it. No different than a convicted felon. And so you all know, I researched child support laws...and he is now considered a felon, being so far in arrears anyhow.
You don't have to have respect for ME. I don't really want that. I just want other custodial parents out there to know that they aren't alone. But I also want the non-custodial parents out there to know, that I feel honestly, as long as they are trying their very hardest to pay their support...then I have all respect in the world for them!! They are making an honest effort. It's the deliberate non-paying mothers/fathers out there, that irk me! My ex is a deliberate NON-PAYER. And my children have the legal RIGHT to their support. That's what the judge in my county ordered, and that's what he must pay. No highway option.
I apologize for upsetting any of you...but I am not backing off on the support due my children. I would feel differently if my ex was making an honest effort at least. I don't like to see him in jail, but that's what the judge decided.
And by the way, he doesn't live on the street (like I HAVE in the past)...he lives with his mother/father for FREE. He has $ to go to stock car races, drink beer, and smoke cigarettes, but no $ for support? Hmmmm.....

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
disaagree
by: Anonymous

maybe jail is not the answere but had the non custodial parent complied with paying or making arrangements to pay his child support he would have never gone to jail! If you can not comply with laws , even child support then I believe something should happen to you , even if it means going to jail. Tru the non custodial parent while in jail is getting 3 meals, not having to pay bills while the children suffer. We the tax payers are paying for it but what the heck we pay for crimminals all the time. If you won't support your child YOU SHOULD HAVE CONSEQUENCES!

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
No pity here.
by: Anonymous

With your attitude, I think it would be AWESOME if your ass landed on the street!!!

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Makes no sense
by: I Agree

I agree, how is goinh to jail going to pay child support?? It will not change your financial problems. All that does is cause his child support compily with interest. Now how does jail help get you money??? All that does is cause more of a burdon on the systems money, to take care of him in jail. And now he gets out and can't get another job and if he does it is less then he was making before still not getting any money, now he is on welfare and in homeless shelter and no one is still getting any money. And now he is back in jail again for not be able to pay because the first offense cause him to loss his good job. Here goes the vicisous circle. Like you said there is much better and more affective ways than the crap the system is pulling on non custodial parents mainly men.

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
What??
by: Anonymous

You think that it's "AWESOME" that a person was put in jail for a "civil" matter? And that because of the imprisonment that same person is now barred from several types of jobs? You're happy about that? And you wonder why many non-custodial parents (usually the fathers) have such a negative attitude towards State enforced child support.

I agree that he should pay what is required of him by law, but to think that him going to jail is "AWESOME" caused me to lose all respect for your situation.

On a related note, shame on the States that use imprisonment as a means of "encouragement" in child support matters. There are other and more effective ways to make the non-custodial parent pay. Imprisonment does nothing more than mar a person's record.

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
attorney general complain
by: support fighter

if you have spoken with the director of child support and have all your paperwork file a complaint with the attorney general office. I do not know what state you are in but legal aid should be able to help u file pro se paperwork. if u give up fighting . that is why they get away with not paying and agencies not being forced to do their job ( i know they are understaffed) but if you keep bugging them.keep your paperwork as reference to every hearing .

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Child Support .