How the system can work against you.

by Angie
(Maryland, US)

My boys strawberry picking

My boys strawberry picking

I had my first son the year of 9/11. I was in an abusive and controlling relationship for 6 years in which I was co-dependent. My boyfriend cheated on me while I was pregnant and I tried to get him involved with the pregnancy but he did not want the child. When my son was finally born-which was traumatic enough almost being induced on September 11 from hypertension while the pentagon was bombed, I realized I needed to give my son the best life and it was not with an abusive boyfriend. I forced him to leave and asked to work it out amicably for our child. He decided to get a lawyer behind my back and go after our son as revenge. He married a single mom within six months and used the child in every means necessary to hurt me, falling behind on child support when he saw fit, then taking the child for weeks at a time without me knowing where he was.

I kept filing for contempt but the court system worked against me as a single mom, eventually taking my son away from me. He looked better on paper with a marriage and a home, I had just met my soon to be husband and was settling down. I had my second son with my husband in 2005 and in 2006, my house mysteriously burned down. My ex-boyfriend's wife consistently sends me threats and has been a cyber-bully for years. Our van has been keyed. My son comes crying to my house about how his stepmom calls me a fat b@tch in front of him and other names. I just tell him we are not like that in my home, we don't talk about them whatsoever. I have asked the court for custody given back to me several times because he has wanted to live with me but it is impossible to get when already decided by the courts.

While on vacation last summer, my ex-boyfriend filed for child support against me after years of not having done so as a revenge against us. Despite being a stay at home mom with my second son diagnosed with ADHD and speech problems, the court awarded him child support. And my husband works at the same company as my ex-boyfriend so is constantly dealing with sabotage at work. I am currently pregnant, disabled and owe a years worth of child support.

And all these years I have supported my son by never giving up my visitation or anything my son has ever needed or wanted from me, even though my son is forced to call his stepmom, "MOM", even though the system has taken away my license so we can't go to the doctor, even though my husband can't get a raise because my ex is buddy buddy with the boss, and even though my ex still contacts child support to come after me every couple months, even though I could not get a protective order against the cyberbully(ex's wife)whom hacked into my husband's email accounts, even though I have been mentally traumatized constantly by these hateful people that have used the system to their advantage, not because they NEED the money.

My husband works at the same company, my ex makes almost 6 figures a year even in this economy and my husband makes half of that-an average of $50,000 a year. I could be a deadbeat and just leave but do you know why I don't? Because I love my son and if I leave him for good, my ex will win! That is what my ex wants, for me to be out of my own child's life so he can tell my son whatever he wants about me. So send the pregnant disabled woman to jail for owing child support! Can I really blame some fathers for what they do?

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Jun 15, 2014
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What a load of shit
by: Anonymous

Just saw your little story brook how sad it is to see you have gone to get another web site trying to justify your abandonment of your own children. You make things harder and worse for women who actually do go through domestic violence. You forgot to add the bit how you ran off with another man took his kids from their mother threatened to smash all her teeth out and then re lived your youth hammering your liver with drugs and alcohol! Or the bit where you offered for me to give you our daughter and $20,000 and I could keep our autistic son. Then there's the bit where you went on autism mom face book and told a big sob story about how you were a single mum not getting any help blah blah blah soaking up sympathy and what not you saying I can't afford two autistic kids blah blah but you saying you had them both with you I came across that story when I was doing therapy on our son would you like me to post the story on here? And then lost the court papers with the date you actually ended up with them after you told a bullshit story in court! Since then I've been denied any contact with my kids it's been two years now and you won't even give me an address to send my children a birthday card I've tried to be amicable for their sakes but what was your response and I quote " I can't wait to see the look on your face when I destroy your life it's going to be the high light of mine" "I'll find them a new dad and better dad" MATE YOU ARE THE SCUM OF THE EARTH AND ITS PEOPLE LIKE YOU THAT DESTVE TO BE ON A NATIONAL NAME AND SHAME REGISTER FOR CHILD ABUSE BROOK WILSON!

Sep 20, 2013
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THIS IS MY TESTIMONY ABOUT THE GOOD WORK OF ATILA
by: Stacey Bruno



I never believed in love spells or magic until I met this spell caster once when i went to see my friend in Indian this year on a business summit. I meant a man who's name is Dr ATILA he is really powerful and could help cast spells to bring back one's gone, lost, misbehaving lover and magic money spell or spell for a good job or luck spell .I'm now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 5 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 3years. I really loved him, but his mother was against us and he had no good paying job. So when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him. At first i was undecided,skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. And in 7 days when i returned to Canada, my boyfriend (now husband) called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married. I didn't believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do. Well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid, and my husband also got the new job and our lives became much better. His email is atilahealinghome@yahoo.com

May 07, 2013
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My son misses me
by: Anonymous

I married a man from a foreign country, bought him everything, thought he loved me, years ago. He stole my son and told the courts I just "left him" and they believed his story and gave him custody. Now I am without my son and he is remarried, and they are trying to take all my visits away. They are also mean to my son, bash me as a mother to him, he hates it there, he dreads going home every other weekend, I just feel such agony for my son. He is a little older now but he's still little to me. He has other family who miss him very much. When he came here with broken bones I called CPS and they DID NOTHING. Sorry little social worker, you believe any lies abusive parents tell you. I understand that alot of people get wrongly accused. But that's just it. Most the time the innocent get wrongly accused and the true abusers are set free. And the courts believe all his fancy typed up motions to gradually take every right I have from my son who hates his guts, and wants to be here. I know for a fact, when my son becomes a teenager (which is only a few years away) He is going to knock the crap out of his dad and run away. My son has it all planned out :) Just remember this, what comes around goes around. Anyone who is going through this, keep your facebooks open searched, let yourself be found. They will look for you. and when they do tell your baby/or/babies your story. It takes all the strength I got not to go to jail over just taking him from school and running away. But then, I'd be on the news, right? a kidnapper, JUST LIKE HIM. Only then, my child would be actually happy.

Feb 27, 2013
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feeling under estimated by a step mom
by: Anonymous

feeling the way about five years ago my daughters dad came and picked m daughter up and then filed temporarily custody and got granted.so now i py child support been trying to see her but step mother been in between form me and her.now that i hardly ever came around cuase step mom always has the say so and not him..he is just the man thats makes money in the house,makes more then me and she is so controlling over everything..its always about money..she found out that i was filing for visitation rights and swore to me up and down she was going to raise hell to me like i give a shit.says supposely that she adopted her..while am still paying chid support to him when it goes to her..need not her lye i alway see her her facebook with new clothes on and my daughter says that she hardly get shit..now she wont go with me nowhere cuase she says she gots to get to know me....what to do when your daughter says she wont leave home and only wants to get know to me when i work and have two kids to support and hardly have no time to go and see her.and if and when i do step mom is always around hearing everthing i say and do..i feel this is bullshit and its stressing cause i cant have a mother and daughters day without having the step mom around..

Feb 11, 2013
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can anyone help me in my situation.
by: Anonymous

We'll IM 24 years old and have 4children my 2older children are from a previous 8yr relationship and my 2 youngest are from my recent relationship..IM from Texas and he's from Florida I moved to Florida to be with him in 2010 durning that time we've had 2kids together..and for some time we've been having problems and I ve told him multiple times I want to go back to Texas cause I don't want to be here I can't do nothing I can't go anywhere and I've told him I want to work he just ignores me..as of right now we're staying with his parents cause they cutoff our light in September and plus he lost his job for what reason I don't know cause he lies to me and does things behind my back and always find an excuse to leave by himself while I would stay stuck at home sick & pregnant allall day hehe would say he was going to work from 5am to 7pm.but now we don't live by ourselves we're living with his parents and everytime I say I wanna leave and go back to Texas his mom gets in the middle and say that IM not taking my kids I have with him and there going to take them away..and I think she has been going behind my back talking to an attorney I don't know what she might be saying or making up..cause I living here and she leaves and takes my 20month son with her she don't let him come in the back room we're in and everytime he comes to me she gets him away from me and I feel like I can't say nothing about it and it hurts me do much cause I know if I do she'll jump all over me but I think she doing it to make me look like I don't want him or love him he's my everything all my kids are..I just feel stuck trapped they put me down and say I can't do nothing and monkeys Gona want me with all my kids I really want my relationship to work with my boyfriend but it's impossible to be happy with him family always around using know what to do I stay cause I don't want to lose my babies to these kind of people who talk and judge other people on their life the way they live and I know she put things in my kids heads when IM not around..and she tells me things and puts things in my head saying she knows stuff about me I don't know..what do I do cause I have no money of my own for an attorney..and I want to get out..please someone help meee.. :,,,(I just want to be happy with my kids is that to much to ask for I want to be able to provide for them to I know people start a new life all overs again why can't I I hate that they make me feel like IM the bad person when all I want is for me and my kids to be happy.. If anyone can help me in my situation email me at slozano40@Yahoo.com.pleeasee..

Apr 14, 2012
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anonymous
by: Anonymous

This is for the anonymous social worker who said that they do not take your child away for nothing.

You need to wake up. They do take your children away for no reason. They took mine away when they were 7 and 9 and said that my children didn't know me as their mother. Then they used a truancy case that was dismissed. They couldn't find anything on me so that's what they used. They make up there own crap to use on you if they side with the father. The father is an alcoholic and has been convicted of domestic violence twice. It depends on who you know not about the person you are or what's best for the kids.

Anonymous in Michigan

Mar 27, 2012
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How does a great mother compare to the price of money
by: Anonymous

I randomly ran accross this post. I cant tell you how happy I was to read this. I thought I was the only other mother out there being treated like garbage, while the dead beat dad get all the glory. I dont know what to do anymore. I just keep fighting and playing the games because all I want is to be close to my children. I know that over the past 7 years my children know what is going on. They see what their father's and step mothers put me through, and run their evil mouths against their mother. They also see me fight, and bow down to anything and everything to be close to them. What are we to do? How does a great mother compare to the price of money??

Sep 05, 2011
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i lost my kids to an abuser
by: Aussie

My australian justice system is failing me. I was with my ex for 5 years, copped mental and physical abuse, infront of my kids or in public. i left him after 5 years living in NSW away from my family and my friends. i ran witb the kids to my mother in qld for 7 months and i was happy. After 7 months of harrassment and promises that he would change i went back to try make our little family work, after a month and a half he went back to how he used to be. i lasted another 6 months with him like this. i went to my friends place two streets down as i had no where else to run. he kept my children not allowing them to come with me. after 2 days he gave them to me, begging me to come back.. after he realised i wasnt coming back he took the kids from daycare and refused to allow me to have them alone (in the chance id run again). He had the kids in his care and he still constantly drove past the house numerous times a day, or he would stop in and want to "talk" i filed for legal aid to get a recovery and a relocation order back home. i found out my mother was gravely ill and they thought she was having a stroke. so i immediately flew out home. after a week of being there, the day before i was due to go back to nsw. he found out i had filed for legal help. he went ballistic. his mother was also not happy. i knew i wasnt safe down there. his friends and family turned against me thinking that i was lying about the abuse i had copped from him. well i say severe anxiety and depression doesnt come from no wherE. The worst is i was always to scared to call the police. I also had hope that he would be the man he promised to be. After the ordeal of figuring out i had one friend to stand by me against him, his family and his mates..i decided i had to stay in qld with my family. i never have gone through a custody battle and dont know any one of my circumstance that has been through it to get advice. Now its been nearly 7 months i havent seen my children. I have been forced to sign temp custody orders to this mental case of a man just so i can see my kids 4 times a year until it all goes through court. in australia without paying a lawyer, court can take up to 2 years. it took legal aid 6 months to get me to mediation where in it i just had to agree to everything he offered until the courts decide. I raised my kids, i did everything for them. My autistic son asks me to come to qld nearly everytime i talk to him on the phone. i call them every night. My little girl seen me on skype and cried for me all the next day. so he decided i couldnt skype them anymore. I am telling my story for any australian women out there... if you are in this circumstance. Call the Police! do not let them fear you if you do so. Leave with your kids and dont look back, dont make my mistake... He stripped me of my soul and my dignity for 5 years and now he took away my heart. Dont be stupid like i was. losing your babies isnt worth it.

Sep 03, 2011
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Social System Fools
by: For the Mothers

You're a very naive and fooliswh person "I Don't Think So" Social workers just lie to the courts to take whatever children will make the most profit for families and give them to whoever makes them look the best. My first three were taken away and given to child molesters in their foster care system. My daughter had to go to court for a year while being molested all that time to get away. Do you know why my naive and foolish little social worker? Because the social workers on her case didn't want to look bad about their total ineptness. I took a look at the public records and photgraphed some of the garbage the social workers wrote about me; then I asked my children which I found years later after they could no longer interfere, and guess what? They all said they were forced in closed doors to sign papers that I said and did things that never happened. My daughter wantes to write a book about her horror stories just to enlighten people about how crooked and ineffective the foster care system is. All my children say they wouldn't be this messed up now if it wasn't for the system you work in. Do you think you are helping someone? Your intentions may be good, or you may be just one of the cruds that work there to exploit the kids. But the system does not work at all. They can prove you unfit. But most of the time it is just social worker lies. Remember that before you go off on any good will tangents for the children. You may be making the worst mistake of your life and be ruining an entire family.

Mar 26, 2011
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you de not have to be proven unfit!!!!
by: Anonymous

The system has taken advantage of my economic background and hardships to continue collecting money having hearings without my knowledge, and many more injustices. I had two children by my first husband, who cheated on me, and I left, we were wealthy, and he got everything, had the lawyers, and took my children. I was raped, had a third child, and continued to pay full support for my children from the first marraige, and raise my new child on my own. I got married again to an abusive man this time, and had two more girls. So now I was paying half of everthing I made, and all my income tax returns to child support for the first two, while raising my other three, alone, on the other half, worked two jobs and went to school. My second husband tried to kill me, they took my daughter away and gave her to the rapist, I now paid child support for three kids, half of my income, and continued to raise the other two, alone. I have never had one income tax return, always had two or three jobs, had cancer, and have always paid half my income to child support, and raised my last two alone. At the age of 15 my oldest child moved back in with me, I had no money to get a lawyer, so they made me pay his father the child support anyway, my son and my other two children lived with me, I raised them alone, keep in mind my two youngest father was in prison, no support to me there, and my son's father was not paying, I was paying him, current and back. Now all three older kids are 18, still no support from my youngest two's father, I just paid all my tax return, 6,000 dollars, and all my back unemployment, of 2700 dollars. now my unemployment from being injured, is 260 a week, and they take all but 120 dollars, thats what my other daughters and I live off of. I am taking 24 hours, to graduate this semester, I am determined to fight the system, my younger two daughters live in poverty, while the other three are grown and out of the house. My ex husband and his wife,take cruises with the child support and brag about it, and we live in a small town where I am a Pastor now, and still raising my other two. I have always had constant contact with my children minus the five years I had to leave the state to avoid my crazy ex husband, who still wanted to kill me. And even then, I drove home and risked our lives, to see them at least once a month, every holiday and Birthdays, and talked to them on the phone a lot. I kept them four weeks every summer. This is wrong, how the system just takes what they want, there are court orders being entered

Feb 14, 2011
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I dont think so
by: Anonymous

sorry.. no offense, your story is sad.. but I work for social services and in child custody. There is no way they would just "give" your son away. To take a child away from their mother, you would have to have been proven unfit.

Oct 05, 2010
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young single mom
by: nessa

damn that is messed up. im 19 about to have my first son and me and my baby father not together either, im scared that if i file for child support he will try to take my son or make me move back to ny. and his wife that he married after i got pregnant and after we found out about each other, i had to get an order of protection from her because of her harrassment and telling me my son will never have a father. if i have to force him im not letting him just walk away like that. i understand you fully and its a shame whats going on. just never give up. my mom and grandma was in custody battle over me all my life and my mom was able to have me back without harrassment for 2yrs now. i know you dont want it to be that long but trust me from experience hold on and dont give up, it might not take that long and if it does your son will love you even more and will still be your baby. soon when he gets a certain age they can ask him where he wants to live, i dont know if they do that there but you should check that out. good luck and i will pray for you

Jul 30, 2010
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there is hope hang in there
by: Anonymous

From what I know of child support if you are disabled you don't have to pay cause you can not work to make the payments, but that does not mean you can not care for your child, you yourself can also request a review of the custody and child support order they can not deny you that, you as well as the father can request one every four years, if you wanted to. Then at the hearing ask for the judge to speak with your child if the child is unhappy with the father the child has a right to tell the judge that he is not happy and request that he live with you. Even though the final choice is the judges it never hurts to try then after trying so much maybe the judge will finally see that the child just maybe better off with you.

until child support laws are changed the parents that should not have all favors given to them will continue to get them and is is not right.

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