I Can't Afford My Child Support

I Can't Afford My Child Support

(Cheyenne, WY.)

I make $12.50 an hour. My employee does not allow me to work overtime or anything like that.

When the child was 9 years old we, my fiancé and I, found out that I could possibly be the father. A test proved that was and I am to pay $400 a month and an extra $100 a month in back child support.

I'm not bringing home enough to pay my bills anymore. I wasn't to begin with. Is there any way that I can get this reduced to a lower payment?

I do not see the child because the mother said that it would be too much for him and that it would hurt him mentally. The mother also gave me a letter one-day asking if I had children. Then asking if he could change his last name to that of the guy he calls "dad".

I never responded to any of this because she had the boy write it and meaning she didn't want me to be in contact with him I found it inappropriate to respond. (The above was a phone response to her about me having children.) I then found out that this guy he calls "dad" does visitations with him and has him about half the year. Now why am I paying a full year of child support if she doesn't even have him?

Please help! Being in the "equality state" isn't easy as a man. I can't find anyone to give me any information and having to do side jobs and not seeing MY family is getting hard.

Thank you.

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I Can't Afford My Child Support

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Nov 11, 2008
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Fairness is OK.
by: Anonymous

I see no problem with paying what is fair in terms of money for ones responsibilities, but when that money is going not to the child or for the child but to enhance the life of the mother, ie.. new clothes, new car, etc etc...then some line should be drawn. If mother, child and myself were still together it would not cost as much, I do not see why I have to house and feed her as well when I also have my own responsibilities and mouths to feed and shelter.

Nov 09, 2008
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greedy women
by: Anonymous

I have a real problem with women and child support, and I am a women and I get support. I chose an amount that I felt was fair for my ex to pay, based on what it actually cost to raise a child each month, and no I did not include rent or housing because they way I look at it I would have to pay rent somewhere whether I had a child or not, I looked at extra food, clothes, a little higher utilities due to extra baths laundry etc. I do not feel that a man should have to pay for the women to put a roof over her head. I also think if the man is a good father he should automatically get joint custody and no support should be paid to either party. If a women can't afford to take care of her child by providing half the support and only recieving half from the ex then the ex should get the child. I may seem like a heartless person but I am so sick of seeing women live the high life off child support and never work a day in their lives, it is just wrong, and many do work but I feel there is too many that don't, they just sit back and collect. I wish my childs father wanted joint custody but he doesn't want the responsibility, but there are many out there who do but don't have a chance in hell with all the judges pro mother. I also disagree with a man having to pay back support for a child that he didn't know he had, had a friend this happened to, it is so wrong, I think the mother should be punished for keeping the father from the child. Well I am going to end as I am just getting more pissed the more I think about the unfair rights for fathers so I will be signing off.

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Nov 09, 2008
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Submitted by: Anonymous

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I have a real problem with women and child support, and I am a women and I get support. I chose an amount that I felt was fair for my ex to pay, based on what it actually cost to raise a child each month, and no I did not include rent or housing because they way I look at it I would have to pay rent somewhere whether I had a child or not, I looked at extra food, clothes, a little higher utilities due to extra baths laundry etc. I do not feel that a man should have to pay for the women to put a roof over her head. I also think if the man is a good father he should automatically get joint custody and no support should be paid to either party. If a women can't afford to take care of her child by providing half the support and only recieving half from the ex then the ex should get the child. I may seem like a heartless person but I am so sick of seeing women live the high life off child support and never work a day in their lives, it is just wrong, and many do work but I feel there is too many that don't, they just sit back and collect. I wish my childs father wanted joint custody but he doesn't want the responsibility, but there are many out there who do but don't have a chance in hell with all the judges pro mother. I also disagree with a man having to pay back support for a child that he didn't know he had, had a friend this happened to, it is so wrong, I think the mother should be punished for keeping the father from the child. Well I am going to end as I am just getting more pissed the more I think about the unfair rights for fathers so I will be signing off.

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Oct 04, 2008
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our government sponcors DIVORSE
by: Anonymous

One day the people in America will wake up. The Government makes money when people get divorced and by collecting child support. When the middle class stands up, things will change. When life gets so impossible for enough people, all at the same time, then we will see common sense play a bigger role in our lives. It is absolutlely worth working it out for the kids sake, even though the media in every direction you turn says, " hire me, life is to short, we will make him( or her) pay...Its a really simple solution.
So simple people dont beieve it is possible.

Sep 17, 2008
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reply
by: Anonymous

oh i was talking to the people being mean to him. I know that pain all to well.

Sep 13, 2008
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tried being nice & thinking about his new family
by: Anonymous

I have seen both sides of this. my ex-husband has always paid on time and helped his ex out at the end of the month when shes broke, has paid bills for her etc. he has always done right by our child also so i agreed to an amount lower then he would have to. now i'm trying to go after my other childs father for support. he paid for a year and a half to me, we never had the system involved then. then he stopped paying & seeing her now the child is 13 & I struggled a lot over the past 11 years to make it. she wanted to meet him so I made it happen & she has been with him every other weekend. now that i'm going after him he wants a deal & I was trying to work with him so he wouldn't be broke with a new family. now hes retained a lawyer to get him off the hook for any past. Now I'm the bad person!

Sep 12, 2008
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Unfair
by: Anonymous

I am a mother of 2, I have a son of 6 yrs and his father bolted when i was 4mos. pregnant. I never see any child support because he never has a job or anything. Now I am with a man who never gets to see his children because his ex is just rotten. We have just had another child 2 months ago. Everything is wonderful, kinda of tight financially but tolerable. Now he is getting his wages garnished for ADDITIONAL support for his prior children. We are unable to pay bills, unable to buy groceries, and unable to pay daycare to continue working. I have NEVER been so frightened in my life. My oldest son has even lost so much wieght and my baby is eating cereal in order to cut down on formula use and keep him full longer, which his little 2 month old belly isn't quite ready to handle. I think too many women get away with way too much and this country really doesn't care. It acts like it cares for kids but what about the children on the other end? Isn't there a more fair way to handle this like adults and not a childish game of tug of war? Scary when your own country and government are twisted and no one will help you, isn't it?

Aug 30, 2008
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I Can't Afford My Child Support
by: Anonymous

I can't believe the nastiness of some of these comments. I can't believe but they were made by very hateful ex's. I am a single mother. Raised 2 kids, with an ex who unhappily paid his minimal support, wouldn't see his kids. He lived off his new wife & she condoned it. Won't pay his half medical. He & his wife are scum. But I recognize there are 2 sides to every story. I think it horrible that woman have kids & don't tell the Dad until the Mom needs money. They are the evil ones. Child support arrears should not start until the woman starts the process to notify the father. Every father, barring violence, has the right to be a Dad. I think the mother in this case is dead WRONG! I don't think she should get anything. She managed for 9 years. Didn't give him the choice to be a father. What she lose the latest man she was using to support her child so had to go running to the Dad?

Aug 29, 2008
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Be nice to the man
by: Anonymous

My husband is in the same situation. He didnt find out until his daughter was four. It isnt fair to the man if they dont find out until they are already that old. You are in the arrears no matter what. And when you have a family it makes it harder. She was obviously doing fine for 9 years. She didnt need his help. Why does everyone have to hard on the men. There are way more men out there that are bigger dead beats. At least he pays his support. It makes it harder when you live paycheck to paycheck. I am not biased either because I receive child support. He never said that he didnt want to not pay his support he just wants it lowered so he can afford to live. Nobody understands until it happens to them. I hate when people comment on stuff and dont understand they just wanna make the dad feel like crap for wanting to support his family!!!!!

Aug 29, 2008
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Ignore the comments from the peanut gallery
by: John M

Your problem is typical of many child support cases where the non custodial parent is seen as little more than a wallet and not treated much better. Have you seen if you can file a modification? All states have a requirement that the child support order be reviewed every number of years (typically three or four) or under a substantial change in circumstances. Find out if there is pro bono legal service in your county and seek it out. But don't ignore this until you're living as an anchor dad, where one financial short fall is going to send you under.
One thing I would not advise you to do is what the first poster said and take a second job. The CS courts will merely see that as additional income and jack up your child support even higher. If you are working 40 hours you are doing what millions of _married_ parents do and are not penalized for.

Aug 28, 2008
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Be a Man
by: Anonymous

You seriously need to grow up and take financial responsibility for those lives in which you biologically helped start. You don't need a reduction in monthly support, you need to take another job or jobs and be a MAN about it. You'll never get out of the arrearages and judicial interest you are no doubt already piling up, they are nationwide. Overseas won't help you as you need a passport. They'll even be taken out of your social security, so get started and pay off. Did YOUR dad do this to you? Think about your children, their needs and your significant other that carried them to term for you. Stop being so selfish (possibly lazy) and greedy. Someone else is also watching you and will appropriately discipline you in the permanent afterlife whether you believe one exists or not - GOD.

Aug 28, 2008
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boo hoo
by: Anonymous

I feel so sorry for you . What about the mother who has your child and can not afford to pay for the things your child needs but finds a way cause it is her responability alone, cause you have shirked your duties as a "man". What about her not being able to pay her bills? You say what about YOUR family, well the other child is YOUR family!

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I Can't Afford My Child Support

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I Can't Afford My Child Support