I'd rather be dead

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I'd rather be dead

by Joe
(Hawaii)

I'd rather be dead
than have to put up with this
18 longs years of child support
$120,000 dollars later
and my children hate me

Now I have to pay for an expensive college
No savings, living hand to mouth
My ex is a rich woman thanks to me
I am accountable for money she spends on herself

Don't look to the courts to help you
They don't care
Beware of lawyers
They'll tell you anything to collect their fees
Don't look to the government
No matter what your situation, you are a deadbeat dad
They will keep taking your money
and give it to someone else

Keep your head up
Be proud
We all know the indignities and insults you suffer
Non-custodial dads all share the same pain
But someway somehow
You will prevail
You are honorable, you make the ultimate sacrifices
by paying obscene amounts of child support

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I'd rather be dead

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Sep 21, 2009
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Government discriminates against men
by: Anonymous

I would actually pay my ex-girlfriend support to let me be the custodial parent. They act like it is such a hard job, I say bullsh*t. Having children is a blessing PERIOD! I have 2 little girls. One lives with me and my wife, the other with my exgirlfriend. My little girl is always sick because my ex does not take care of her. I am not exaggerating one bit when I say I would gladly pay to have my baby with me full time and. It would be called exgirlfriend support to stay the h*ll away. My little girl is going to be so screwed up mentally and health wise. My ex has a older boy and he has had no curfew since he was 14. Since we were never married, I have no rights. I admit I made a poor choice and so did my ex-girlfriend. It takes 2 to have a baby and both should be equally responsible. I have had so much stress because of this, I know it has shortened my life by at least 10 years. I feel for all you guys out there. Keep praying! That is all we can do.

Jun 24, 2009
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LET's all get on the same page
by: lee

what are we talking about ???what matters most???

THE CHILD/children ??

What is in their BEST interrest.More often than not just to have a parent there for the child ,with or without money involved is what is in their best interrest.They are not a cash machine ,or tool,or revenge means,comidity.We in this country have ruined all sence of family.This is not going to resolve any issues.

I come from a dad that was in the army.Who paid his child support.With a mom that did not use it on us,and even 'if" she had .It would not replace a father that he might have been /or how much of a impact he would have made in my life.

We all want to sit here and argue side's but how can money help if it drives family's apart like this?

State/federal regulation of these types will never work so long as the childs/childrens needs are not being meet.

I now find myself in this child support problem..
i was married to a woman that has cheated ,dumped kids on 'the babysitter'for days on end to screw her boss.i was working all the time and had a good job but got hurt on it..i have looked for work but am unable to get work due to my bad back/condition.she has filled on me and wont let me see my kids ...my kids told her and me that they do not want to live with her as i took care of them when we were together..

what are we all to do when money is the most important thing ..your child see this ..then they grow up ...when you people open your eyes and see
this law/s about child support wont work cant work are ONLY in the interrest for local economy like jail/police/judges/court systems maby something will be done..

LABEL it CHILD SUPPORT??

HOW about GOV. SUPPORT??

when my time come's and im no longer on this earth
i can leave with no regrets if just one person will say that this child of mine is worth more than any amount of money in the world! Just come be a father/mother to the child and work out the rest..

be a PARENT put the CHILD first.

'if you' put money first i dont believe you will ever be a parent you will be a 'broker'.

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Jun 24, 2009
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Submitted by: lee

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what are we talking about ???what matters most??? THE CHILD/children ?? What is in their BEST interrest.More often than not just to have a parent there for the child ,with or without money involved is what is in their best interrest.They are not a cash machine ,or tool,or revenge means,comidity.We in this country have ruined all sence of family.This is not going to resolve any issues. I come from a dad that was in the army.Who paid his child support.With a mom that did not use it on us,and even 'if" she had .It would not replace a father that he might have been /or how much of a impact he would have made in my life. We all want to sit here and argue side's but how can money help if it drives family's apart like this? State/federal regulation of these types will never work so long as the childs/childrens needs are not being meet. I now find myself in this child support problem.. i was married to a woman that has cheated ,dumped kids on 'the babysitter'for days on end to screw her boss.i was working all the time and had a good job but got hurt on it..i have looked for work but am unable to get work due to my bad back/condition.she has filled on me and wont let me see my kids ...my kids told her and me that they do not want to live with her as i took care of them when we were together.. what are we all to do when money is the most important thing ..your child see this ..then they grow up ...when you people open your eyes and see this law/s about child support wont work cant work are ONLY in the interrest for local economy like jail/police/judges/court systems maby something will be done.. LABEL it CHILD SUPPORT?? HOW about GOV. SUPPORT?? when my time come's and im no longer on this earth i can leave with no regrets if just one person will say that this child of mine is worth more than any amount of money in the world! Just come be a father/mother to the child and work out the rest.. be a PARENT put the CHILD first. 'if you' put money first i dont believe you will ever be a parent you will be a 'broker'.

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Jun 17, 2009
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Family Laws are one sided
by: Stepmom

I was a single mom and raised my children on my own. My first husband died, so I re-married and nine years later....he's gone. My daughters remained in touch with him and child support was there to help with extra's needed for school, etc. I do not believe that dad's should pay to cover their ex's lights, water, gas, etc. these are expenses that you will have to pay irregardless if there are children involved. The life style you choose is completely up to you. If the courts gave the children to the father's more often, they would see a decrease in welfare dependency, food stamp dependency and the children can be just as nurtured by a father as they are by a mother. It takes two parents to make a child and no one parent is more qualified to be caring or concerned with the child's best interest. I dare say that if the roles were reversed...then the women would be the one's being locked up for nonsupport, and having to work under the table and for cash just to survive. Child support is a government revenue.

It is kinda like probation to an offender...the fathers are set up to fail and as a result...the courts keep operating, social workers maintain their jobs, jailers have a job and the average cop is still employed to handle all the civil disputes. Our constitution declares that ALL are created equal....I feel for the dad's that are truly doing their best to be active in their child's lives and be a good parent, because the dollar bill and the power the courts have placed in woman's hands have distorted what it truly means to be a good parent. Hang in there and fight for your rights as well as your children's rights to have access to both parents. Parents divorce each other...why are the kids in the middle?

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Jun 17, 2009
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Submitted by: Stepmom

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I was a single mom and raised my children on my own. My first husband died, so I re-married and nine years later....he's gone. My daughters remained in touch with him and child support was there to help with extra's needed for school, etc. I do not believe that dad's should pay to cover their ex's lights, water, gas, etc. these are expenses that you will have to pay irregardless if there are children involved. The life style you choose is completely up to you. If the courts gave the children to the father's more often, they would see a decrease in welfare dependency, food stamp dependency and the children can be just as nurtured by a father as they are by a mother. It takes two parents to make a child and no one parent is more qualified to be caring or concerned with the child's best interest. I dare say that if the roles were reversed...then the women would be the one's being locked up for nonsupport, and having to work under the table and for cash just to survive. Child support is a government revenue. It is kinda like probation to an offender...the fathers are set up to fail and as a result...the courts keep operating, social workers maintain their jobs, jailers have a job and the average cop is still employed to handle all the civil disputes. Our constitution declares that ALL are created equal....I feel for the dad's that are truly doing their best to be active in their child's lives and be a good parent, because the dollar bill and the power the courts have placed in woman's hands have distorted what it truly means to be a good parent. Hang in there and fight for your rights as well as your children's rights to have access to both parents. Parents divorce each other...why are the kids in the middle?

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Jun 11, 2009
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THEY RE NOT WORTH IT
by: Anonymous

LETS STOP THE PLACING BLAME AND GET DOWN TO THE TRUTH. THE MAN IS THE ONE WHO GETS IT SHOVED INTO HIM IN EVERY DIRECTION. CASE AND POINT , I LOVE BOTH MY KIDS VERY MUCH AND IM NOT A RICH GUY, ACTUALLY QUITE POOR NOW- THANKS TO MY EX WIFE. I HAVE PAID 103,000.00 IN THE PAST 7 YEARS TO A LADY WHO HAD SAID [ REFERRING TO THE KIDS SHE LOVES SOOO MUCH] IN A CROWD OF PEOPLE WHEN OUR LAST CHILD WAS BORN - THATS JUST ANOTHER CHECK IN THE BANK. WE HAVE TWO CHILDREN / AFTER THIS LAST CHECK WAS BORN SHE DIVORCED ME. I WAS WORKING 6 DAYS A WEEK 10 HOURS A DAY AND SHE WAS OUT RUNNING AROUND ON ME. SHE GETS CAUGHT AND HER OWN PARENTS TELL ME ABOUT THIS. IT GOES TO COURT AND SHE WINS. I WAS TAKING CARE OF THE KIDS WHILE SHE WAS AT A FRIENDS HOUSE. YEAH RIGHT. I HAVE BEEN STUCK WITH OVER 1500.00 MONTH BY THE COURTS FOR BEING THE GOOD PARENT, BUT SHE TELLS MY KIDS HOW SORRY OF A MAN I AM. I HAVE NEVER BEEN LATE ON MY CHILD SUPPORT, UNTIL NOW. I WAS TWO WEEKS BEHIND AND SHE THREATENS ME WITH JAIL BECAUSE I WAS IN THE HOSPITAL FROM EXHAUSTION AND SHE COULDNT GO TO THE BEACH BECAUSE SHE DINT HAVE MY CHILD SUPPORT! THANK YOU COURT SYSTEM! AND THIS HAPPENS EVERY DAY. P.S. SHE SAID SHE WOULD HAVE ME LOCKED UP IF I TRIED TO HAVE MY CHILD SUPPORT REDUCED BECAUSE SHE MAKES 2/3RDS MORE MONEY THAN I DO AND SHE SAID I WANTED TO PUNISH HER FOR HAVING A GOOD JOB. SHE PUNISHED ME FOR BEING A GOOD FATHER WHO BELIVED IN HER LYING ASS TO START WITH.

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Jun 11, 2009
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Submitted by: Anonymous

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LETS STOP THE PLACING BLAME AND GET DOWN TO THE TRUTH. THE MAN IS THE ONE WHO GETS IT SHOVED INTO HIM IN EVERY DIRECTION. CASE AND POINT , I LOVE BOTH MY KIDS VERY MUCH AND IM NOT A RICH GUY, ACTUALLY QUITE POOR NOW- THANKS TO MY EX WIFE. I HAVE PAID 103,000.00 IN THE PAST 7 YEARS TO A LADY WHO HAD SAID [ REFERRING TO THE KIDS SHE LOVES SOOO MUCH] IN A CROWD OF PEOPLE WHEN OUR LAST CHILD WAS BORN - THATS JUST ANOTHER CHECK IN THE BANK. WE HAVE TWO CHILDREN / AFTER THIS LAST CHECK WAS BORN SHE DIVORCED ME. I WAS WORKING 6 DAYS A WEEK 10 HOURS A DAY AND SHE WAS OUT RUNNING AROUND ON ME. SHE GETS CAUGHT AND HER OWN PARENTS TELL ME ABOUT THIS. IT GOES TO COURT AND SHE WINS. I WAS TAKING CARE OF THE KIDS WHILE SHE WAS AT A FRIENDS HOUSE. YEAH RIGHT. I HAVE BEEN STUCK WITH OVER 1500.00 MONTH BY THE COURTS FOR BEING THE GOOD PARENT, BUT SHE TELLS MY KIDS HOW SORRY OF A MAN I AM. I HAVE NEVER BEEN LATE ON MY CHILD SUPPORT, UNTIL NOW. I WAS TWO WEEKS BEHIND AND SHE THREATENS ME WITH JAIL BECAUSE I WAS IN THE HOSPITAL FROM EXHAUSTION AND SHE COULDNT GO TO THE BEACH BECAUSE SHE DINT HAVE MY CHILD SUPPORT! THANK YOU COURT SYSTEM! AND THIS HAPPENS EVERY DAY. P.S. SHE SAID SHE WOULD HAVE ME LOCKED UP IF I TRIED TO HAVE MY CHILD SUPPORT REDUCED BECAUSE SHE MAKES 2/3RDS MORE MONEY THAN I DO AND SHE SAID I WANTED TO PUNISH HER FOR HAVING A GOOD JOB. SHE PUNISHED ME FOR BEING A GOOD FATHER WHO BELIVED IN HER LYING ASS TO START WITH.

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May 31, 2009
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somewhere
by: Anonymous

child support does not paid for everything.not these days.if the kids are out party at fifteen then maybe the other party not involed needs to step in and help out this mother.kids have lots of problems at this age.if you are a dad and have a son he needs you.same for moms with daughter.this is why kids need good romoldes in their lifes.kids need more than money.they need someone they can call on when they fell like they have the world on their shoulders.if a boy has no working man around to show him what he needs then he not going to work.girl needs a man to show her she is better then that boy who just wants to sleep with her.men women think about that.god made it so man and woman have kids.if he want one person familys then we would not need each other.it takes two to make a kid and it takes two to raise a kid.yes people do it all the time by them selfs.but they miss out on alot of good stuff with each other.both sides need to think what it was like when they were young.how did their parents play a role in their life.

May 31, 2009
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why should one pay?
by: Anonymous

how dare someone some women are out to make him pay like it is something bad.yes..women are out to make him pay for what he should be doing on his own.if dads or moms would pay then no one would have to make them pay.just like paying is hard for some.well,so is caring for the child.it is not all fun and games.why should the woman or man with the child be the only one paying?the one paying has the easy part.only thing they have to do is work and pay what is order.

May 31, 2009
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14 things for kids off the top of my head
by: Anonymous

1)love 2)water 3)electricty 4)gas 5)food 6)clothes 7)shoes 8)gas to go places 9)toys 10)hair cuts 11)med. things 12)personal supplies hygenie 13)school supplies 14)school activies these are just a few of the things that parents have to pay for.with or without help.minuse the school activies.because without help kids cannot enjoy all that they deserve.if you go years without paying and you get caught.your money ges to reinburse for these things.my exs likes to tell everyone the reason he did not pay his support is because i spend it on myself.ok.pay now or later?later, yes most likely i will be spenting it on myself.now, no it will go on bills and things they need and could use.

May 31, 2009
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COURTS DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT FATHERS!
by: Anonymous

The courts don't give a shit about the fathers suffuring and barely making it! The only thing they care about is "ARE YOU PAYING CHILD SUPPORT, IF YOU ARE PAYING, ARE YOU CURRENT! The court don't care that you can barely make ends meet. All the mother does is use the money to pay for her nails and feet, shop for herself and live like a Fat RAT AT THE MANS EXPENSE! That child support never goes to the child! CHILD SUPPORT WAS SET UP BY A WOMEN FOR WOMEN. A WOMEN USING HER POWER TO GET HER WAY. IT'S A TOOL THAT WOMEN USE TO GET BACK AT MEN. IF A WOMAN EVER PUT ME ON CHILD SUPPORT I'LL STOP WORKING AND MOVE OUT THE FUCKING COUNTRY.

May 20, 2009
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Children should come first
by: Anonymous

My son's father is almost $19,000 in arrears! This should be unacceptable in any state. He hasn't seen our son in 13 years, and wouldn't know him if he saw him on the street. Deadbeat was having his wages garnished for a while and had a good job at a hospital. He quit or got fired and hasn't filed for unemployment. I'm sure he hasn't filed on purpose. We found out that he's working "under the table". The court sent a letter saying that if he doesn't get a tax-paying position, they are revoking his driver's license. He started sending $5/week!(only for 3 weeks)What a slap in the face! It costs more to process it. I say throw him in jail. What non-custodial parents don't understand, is that the custodial parent has already paid for the things that the child/ren need. The NCP isn't giving away their money....it's a reimbursement to the custodial parent for the money he or she has already spent on the child. So when deadbeats don't want to pay; just think of it this way.....the support money goes for clothing, food, gas bill (warm heat for the child) electric, school supplies and activities, etc....not to mention hospital bills, medicine and the custodial parent raising the child and staying up at all hours of the night when the child is sick and has fevers etc....where was the NCP then? Allen County doesn't do anything.....be thankful to the ones who do!

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May 20, 2009
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Submitted by: Anonymous

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My son's father is almost $19,000 in arrears! This should be unacceptable in any state. He hasn't seen our son in 13 years, and wouldn't know him if he saw him on the street. Deadbeat was having his wages garnished for a while and had a good job at a hospital. He quit or got fired and hasn't filed for unemployment. I'm sure he hasn't filed on purpose. We found out that he's working "under the table". The court sent a letter saying that if he doesn't get a tax-paying position, they are revoking his driver's license. He started sending $5/week!(only for 3 weeks)What a slap in the face! It costs more to process it. I say throw him in jail. What non-custodial parents don't understand, is that the custodial parent has already paid for the things that the child/ren need. The NCP isn't giving away their money....it's a reimbursement to the custodial parent for the money he or she has already spent on the child. So when deadbeats don't want to pay; just think of it this way.....the support money goes for clothing, food, gas bill (warm heat for the child) electric, school supplies and activities, etc....not to mention hospital bills, medicine and the custodial parent raising the child and staying up at all hours of the night when the child is sick and has fevers etc....where was the NCP then? Allen County doesn't do anything.....be thankful to the ones who do!

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May 15, 2009
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Child support
by: Anonymous

I can understand both sides.I have an ex who is a dead beat dad.He has paid nothing in nearly 7 years.Not even so much as a birthday card or a phone call to my son.Lousy SOB was only ordered to pay 45 dollars a week in the first place.My current husband has an ex who is so disgustingly lazy,I doubt she even wipes her own behind.She draws 135.00 wk in support,food stamps,hoosier healthwise, ALL THE FREE STUFF SHE CAN GET.She does not work ! The system sucks.In my own opinion paying child support until 21 is ridiculious.I can see if they are in school trying to better themselves, but when they have quit school or graduated it's time to quit charging the parent.Grow up for GOD SAKES.This is the laziest most irresponsible generation I have ever seen.If they're old enough to quit school and party on through the night,then they need to get a job and take care of themselves.As for lazy momma she also needs to get up and get a job,just like the rest of us.Single or not and Yes I HAVE been a single parent.They shouldn't even have food stamps and welfare for those who are to lazy to work. No job no assistance.

May 13, 2009
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GROW UP......TRY RAISING A CHILD ALONE!!!!!!
by: Anonymous

There are many women out just for the money or revenge. I tell my ex...he needs to love his daughter more than he hates me or this situation. He has only paid me 5 months (our daughter is 2) and had taken me back to court to reduce the amount of his supports 3 times already. I have no furniture in my room...my dresser is plastic containers under my bed, I wear the same clothes, I do very little socializing, drive a run down car....all because my daughter comes first! The non-custodial father has never even held this child and only seen her in court....but I know he feels like I am sitting at home eating bon-bons, shopping for myself and running the streets with HIS money. He makes 3 to 4 times more money than I was making before I had her and his lifestyle has not been changed at all....but I am the greedy one. PAYING CHILD SUPPORT ALONE IS NOT BEING A GOOD FATHER. I go to court listen and tolerate all of his abuse....but in the long run....I'M THE WINNER...I have this beautiful child. I only want what the say the state says my daughter is entitled to.....NO MORE....NO LESS!!!!!

May 12, 2009
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pay or pay the price in the long run
by: Anonymous

Most people are not out for revange,yes i agree their are those who are most aren't. Pay the support or at least make the effort. You helped make these kids you can help support them.I'm sure if the tables where turn you would do anything and everything to get the money do to your kids. If you say you wouldn't then you lie. Keep in mind the money is not for the ex but for the kids who the real victims in all of this. Pay up you are just hurting the kids and yourself in the long run.

May 11, 2009
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Sick of courts backing vengful ex's
by: Anonymous

There are cases that the courts most definitly need to take action. But let me tell you there are many mnay cases where the woman is out for nothing besides revenge. Has nothing to do with the children. Cases where the woman never ever had the children in mind all she wanted to do was ruin the life of her ex and the sorry excuse for the courts, listens to her and backs her. No mam, my dear.There are just as many cases that the man has met and finished his court ordered obligations and I guarentee you if there is loser nut on the other side that cant get on with her pitiful life the courts are there to come up with something, something to turn this mans world upside down again. I think its time to turn the tables and prosecute these cases, however not aimed at the payer, but the payee.

May 11, 2009
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Childern First
by: Anonymous

Do you know how hard it is being a single parent trying the best you can to support your kids WITHOUT ANY HELP FROM YOUR EX? I do my ex is a dead beat dad who refuses to pay court order dupport for his kids. There is no excuse for this. If you love your childern you would pay the support no matter the amount even if it means working two or more jobs. Get a life and pay the support and don't coplain about it.

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I'd rather be dead