Jennifer, Mother

by jennifer
(Milw., Wis. U.S.)

Battered, in a marriage with a Waukesha Co.Wi from Sherriff, from 1986 to 1992. Had 4 children with him. Live about 1/2 time with him and 1/2 of that time with my parents. My Dad did research on the battery cycle of which I fit the book description of a battered wife, as I went back to him several times when he appealed to me to do so and each time the cycle started over again. My parents helped me out of it.

He only paid child support for a very short time when the State go after him for being a dead beat Dad. He became a balliff in the Waukesha Court system and got to know all of the judges. He also befriended a gaurdian ad litum, who has not been our childrens advocate but his. He did get primary placement of the children and I had to pay child placement money to him for seven years even though my salary as a teacher was 1/3 that of his. I am presently remaried since 2000. I am unemployed at the time due to health conditions as I cannot be in glassroom fully even for hours at a time due to hyperactive bowel syndrome. There is no placement money being paid by either of us at this time. He did have to pay me placement money for our now 19y.o. son who left his Dad's at 16.5 y.o. due to his Dad's psychological/emotional abuse pattern. Now our almost 15 y.o. daughter ran away from her Dad x2, was cutting herself. (We have medical records for this)and on a placement time with me x 3 weeks ago stated she would never go back to her Dad. she is now with me and feels safe, has told medical drs. and a psychologist this.

The attorney who continues to profess to be guardian ad litum has taken on herself to support the Dad in court as she is a personal friend of his. e.g. been to parties at his house and taken gifts of wine that we know of from him. Most recently the Dad called the Milw. Police department to assist him in getting our daughter to come and live with him. Our daughter, not in my presence, told the officers 4 times that she did not want to be with her Dad and then upset with their pressure ran upstairs. After she came home to live,she stayed in her room for two weeks and is now coming to be her happy, lively self againg. Now he is again soliciting the aid of the previous gruardian ad litum to get her back through the courts. All four of my children have told me, I do not stand a chance. Dad has all the power and that he only wants me to pay him childsupport again and that he is going to make it happen. Three of the children now live with me. The oldest because his Dad asked him to leave when he became 18 y.o. and he could not get child support from me for him. He is now 21 and working and a jr. in college. The 19 y.o. who is having difficulty getting his high school diploma due to psychological truma he experienced in his sophmere and jr. years while living his Dad with 2 coarses he cannot get passed. The third is the 14 almost 15 year old who just returned to me because her Dad would not let her have placement time with me this summer for 3.5 months and pressured her,quote "he puts to much pressure on me" " I never want to go back to my Dad, I don't see why I have to go back, he can't make me, he can't do anything about it." She sincerey believes this,because this is what he told her about being with me in my placement time. You do not have to be with your mother, she can't do anything about it.

What options do I have, how do I protect this daughter from becoming a runaway again if she has to go back to her Dad or worse from physically harming herself again and worse. We have spent much money on attorney bills as have my parents and because of this attorney previous guardain ad litum, the situation gets worse instead of better and their are more problems with my children due to the adverse influence of their father on them. I have contacted State of Wi. and local abuse facilities for help. No one knows what to do because of the control my ex husband has with the courts. Some of the judges have been fair and recused themselves and we had in the past filed for a change of venue, but my ex husband was able to get this case back into the Waukesha Court system.

My rights and that of my children have been denied and continue to be denied. Where do I go for help. If this does no good other than helping me to vent to others, but what do I do? How can the courts be so destructive to children? They claim that they are meant for the well being of children but in our case have been nothing but destructive.

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