Joseph J.

by Joseph
(Texarkana, Texas)

My story began almost seventeen years ago in the Monterey Bay area of California. I had an affair with a woman, we were both married at the time and each had one young son. She became pregnant during the course of this affair and delivered our lovely daughter. The affair (which was morally wrong), destroyed two marriages. I moved to Texas before our daughter was born in an attempt to try and save my family. This was to no avail, and justly so, for I had violated a sacred marriage covenant and betrayed my wife.

As soon as our daughter was born I began to send her Mother money to help with the support of our child. Her Mother then filed a case within the first year of my daughters life and I began to pay regular child support. By the time our daughter was two her Mother was living with a man almost twenty years her senior. She began to request that I sign away all legal rights to my daughter and then I would not have to pay support. I refused! I had already made one huge moral mistake in my life, I was not about to make another. This was my daughter, and I loved her regardless of the situation, and I vowed to fulfill my responsibility to her. I saw my daughter the first time when she was four, it was the most beautiful time of my life! She was so beautiful and whimsicle, simply adorable!, and I loved her even more.

Her Mother was still living with the same man and after my return to Texas she began in earnest to push me towards signing all my legal rights away to my daughter. I again refused!, and this began a now almost thirteen year nightmare with her Mother over visitation rights or any other kind of rights to my daughter. I have not seen my daughter but one time in her life (when she was four years old), despite having been to my home State of California many times over the years in an attempt to see her. I have fought with the California Child Support System when at eight years old her Mother completely cut me off from all communication with my daughter because I would not give up my legal rights to her, and let the man she was living with, now married too, adopt her.

I refused to pay Child Support for four years for her refusal to allow me any type of contact or communication with my daughter. Now I am still dealing with the consequences of that valiant but naive decision, and I still have not seen my daughter nor have I been able to speak to her in many, many, years. My daughter I am sure probably has been told that I do no love her, and that is why I have not been in her life. That is the farthest thing from the truth, and a lie from her Mother and the very pit of Hell. I am a committed Christian now, my life is so different from what it was almost twenty years ago. I have still not had any contact with my daughter in all these years, and I am completely sick of the System that takes Fathers who deeply love their children and try to do the right thing despite having made past wrong choices, and chews them up and spits them out, labeling them criminals with little or no recourse or hope of ever getting to know the child they love and have been separated from for so long.

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SAD
by: Anonymous

Who ever made that first response is pretty sick!!!! I am a mother who never recieved child support and I never stopped my child from seeing his biological father. If the child wasn't given the chance to know her real father due to the mother not allowing it.... The mother is just a idiot because she should be ashamed of herself for keeping them apart. She's only hurting the child, how sad! Money hungry selfish mothers give the rest of us a bad name!!! Everyone seems to forget that the important thing is to make sure the child knows he or she is loved and wasn't a mistake. Everything we do to our children now reflects who they become later.

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give it up
by: Anonymous

You should think of your child and the only fathers she has ever known and give up your rights. THAT is the right thing to do

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NOT alone
by: Anonymous

the system has failed us and needs to change we need to find a way to relate this to someone who looks beyond the money issues a nieghbor of mine similar situation his wife soon after conception moved to alaska and did everything she could to keep her true father out of the picture dispite countless attempts from him so years later his son came looking for his real father who was planning to get married and found my nieghbor and learned of all the wrongs told and all the accusatino told and to this day they have a strong relationship dispite the attempts by others to keep them apart my neighbor said it made it so much easier too deal to be able to see him and relay how things truly were and because their bond is one of a kind i can only pray that one day you get that too

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