Journey to Indigence

by Lynn
(Fort Worth, Texas)

I am a non-custodial mom. When my ex and I divorced it was agreed that our two kids would stay in their home with their father. There would be no child support and we would share the expenses. He got the house and I got the business. The business was my livelihood and as it was a new business and I was working many hours this seemed to be the best for our kids. I was never more than a few blocks away.... I rented a duplex within walking distance from the kid’s home and a year later purchased a house even closer. Our kids could literally walk back and forth and they did. The divorce was settled in a conference room and filed without any hassle.


Two years to the day of our divorce my ex filed for child support. I begged him not to do this suggesting the lawyers would get all the money and it would place a huge financial burden on me because my portion of payments would be based upon the gross income of the business. We all know.... that a new business might show a lot of money going through it but that does not mean in goes into your pocket. This was my situation and after 3 years, 4 Judges, 4 attorneys and a traumatic trip through our broken family law system here in Texas I AM BROKE. He makes $15,000 a month.... I make $1,500 a month. I now have bad credit, child support arrearages, no savings, live in an apartment and after my child support garnishment from my weekly check I AM FORCED TO LIVE ON $250.00 A WEEK. I work 45 to 50 hours a week and when my 11-year-old son comes over (which is often) I stress that I don't have enough money for food for him. I never thought I would be in this situation for a moment. I found the Texas Family Court System heartless and unjust. Even the Judge told me that she hates the decisions she has to make but "that is the law".

My question is...How is it in the best interest of my children to place their mother in such an indigent life style so their father can add $544 a month to his $15,000 a month. I am forced to work many many hours and there is no time to see my child. I think he would be better off to have his mom, not my $125 a week. I have a good relationship with my kids and they even see and know what has happened to me. They don't really want to believe that their father is such a bitter person that he would place his kids mom in this situation. Our Family Laws need to be changed. The entire process through the court system was never about the best thing for my kids. It was about MONEY. THE MONEY THE ATTORNEY'S GET, THE MONEY THAT THE COURT GETS, THE MONEY I MAKE. NO WONDER NON-CUSTODIAL PARENTS DISSAPEAR OUT OF THEIR KIDS' LIVES. THE TEXAS FAMILY LAWS GIVE PEOPLE NO CHOICE. I have to decide every week if I am going to see my kid or make extra money. Shame on you TEXAS Family Law and Greg Abbott. You did not help all the kids....just the very poor ones.

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Jan 28, 2010
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Unfortunate
by: Anonymous

While I can sympathize to a certain degree with each case here, I do not believe enough is being to done to protect the CP.

I just saw my boyfriend (CP) get drug back into court by the mother (NCP) and cry a river about not having enough money to pay $300 a month. She voluntary quit her job to stay at home and pop out 3 more kids. She actually believed that having more kids meant she would be exempt from her financial responsibilities of her eldest.

Sorry ladies, but you have just as much responsibility to your kids and the fathers do.

Mar 13, 2009
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ARE THE FATHERS BUYING CHILDREN OR ARE THEY JUST SUPPOSE TO BE PAYING ( HALF) OF THERE SUPPORT?
by: RHONDA

I NEVER KNEW THE CHILD SUPPORT SYSTEM WAS SO SCREWED UP, UNTIL I GOT WITH MY HUSBAND WHOM OWED BACK SUPPORT ON HIS 23 YR OLD SON,WE HAVE A 4 YR OLD SON AND I HAVE 4 AND 5 YR OLD DAUGHTER.THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES AND DUE TO THE LAW LAST YEAR THEY PASSED, NOW THE ATTORNEY GENERAL IS GOING AFTER OUR INCOME TAX THEY WERE ABLE TO TAKE HALF OF OUR CHILD TAX CREDIT AND ALL THE EARNED INCOME, WHAT IS REALLY SAD IS HE WOULD ONLY OWE HER ABOUT 3,000 IF IT WASNT FOR THE INTEREST THEY CHARGE OF 150.00 A MONTH PLUS THE OTHER 24,000 THAT HAS ACCUMULATED ON THERE.WELL HE CALLS HER UP AND SHE AGREES TO SETTLE ON 5,000 SHE THEN CHANGES HER MIND AND WANTS HALF THE INTEREST.WHAT GREED WE HAVE IN OUR SOCIETY.SOME OF THESE MOTHERS (NOT ALL) ARE ONLY OUT FOR WHATEVER THEY CAN GET, THEY CONFUSE HALF OF THE CHILDS SUPPORT FOR A STEADY PAYCHECK, I COMPLETELY AGREE WHICHEVER PARENT IS REQUIRED TO PAY CHILD SUPPORT SHOULD PAY THERE PART, BUT I THINK UNTIL OUR GOVERMENT REALIZES THAT EQUALLY RESPONSIBLE MEANS (EQUALLY) NOT ONE SIDED,OUR CHILD SUPPORT SYSTEM WILL REMAIN SCREWED UP, UNFAIR, AND UNJUSTIFIED.WE NEED TO GET THE LAWS CHANGED.ARE THE FATHERS BUYING THERE CHILDREN OR ARE THEY JUST SUPPOSE TO BE PAYING HALF THERE SUPPORT?

Jan 28, 2009
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I UNDERSTAND
by: houston-non custodial parent

I totally understand the system has no compassion on the non custodial parent and its not fair if the custodial parent makes more money than the non custodial parent i think that it is unfair to make the non cusodial parent put themselves in a financial bind to adhere to the court order. I have had a another child since my order and i only make 2000.00 a month brfore taxes and am ordered to make $300.00 a month in support and keep insurance from my employer which is $200.00 a month. That's $500.00 a month and was told that its against the Texas law to use my Chips insurance I had to either get private insurane or through my employer my daycare for my 2 year old is $400.00 a month they basically told me that they couldn't factor in teh fact that I had another child like that's no concern I think that the system really doesnt care about the well being of our children just about the money!!!!!

Jan 22, 2009
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Child Support: How much is too much?
by: Anonymous

How much child support is enough? How much is too much? How can we tell? See my post on the current situation in Massachusetts:

http://blogs.psychologytoday.com/blog/about-fathers/200901/child-support-how-much-is-too-much

Jan 21, 2009
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I Understand!
by: Stepmother of 3

I feel your Pain and us as NON-custodial parents need to do something about it! By writing our congress men and women. Because the AG and Greg Abbot need to relize that they are hurting the ones that are footing their bills. They are making it impossiable for us the ones paying the Child support to LIVE ourselves. While the ones collecting the child support are living high on the hog. I'm tied of seeing good people getting screwed. So e-mail me lets you and I write our congress men and women and try and get this outragous laws changed so that each parent is treated = ! gill88fan@aol.com

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