Look at an example of positivity
My husband was married previously for 11 yrs. The had a 1 daughter. At the time of their divorce he was only ordered to pay $400.00..did he? No! Instead he has been paying $600 from the get go. WHy? Because he knows that if he goes bare minimum because he can it is his daughter that will suffer in the long run. After my husband and his ex-wife discussed monthly expenses that's what he decided he could afford comfortably to help his daughter out. Being dismissive of the mother (or father) just because you two are no longer together is a H-U-G-E indication you probably aren't mature enough to breed to begin with. If she uses that child support to pay her car payment, but uses her paycheck to cover mortgage, electricity, h2o, etc...who the hell cares?? Look at the fundamentals...is she fed? Is she clothed properly? Is she in a good home in a descent neighborhood (as much as finances will allow)? Does her mom have reliable transportation to get to work to help support her daughter..and take care of childhood needs (school, Dr. appts, etc)? My husband is in the Army and we don't live near, so for visitation we have to fly his daughter in. By the decree he is responsible for that--however, her mom always pays for 1/2 the plane ticket? WHy? Because she is thankful for him helping out the rest of the time. Just because it's the decree shouldn't rule out a common goal to help each other for the sake of the child.
In 2007 my husband and I had a baby. Shortly after his daughter needed braces. Even though he is financially
responsible, his ex is mature and gracious enough to know that having a new baby is expensive (and I have 1 12 yr old that I receive no help at all for). So after they discussed it they decided to each pay for 1/2 of the braces so no one person bared an unwarranted work load.
I hate hearing & seeing people hate and trying to dig in the other person for nothing more than being the person they CHOSE to be their child's parent. It's sad and shows the best interest of the child not being a priority. I understand there are some exceptions.....but more often than not they're excuses for jealous fits. Any parent that could sit back and allow the custodial parent to suffer or vice versa if temp. down on their luck.....should not be called a parent at all and should dare not talk about their children's priorities coming 1st! You don't have to be rich to be civil...just some common courtesies 9/10 of the time go further than any court order ever could!
If anyone was to be jealous it could easily be me, I have a daughter 7 mths younger than his and I have never received a dime in child support for her. However, I could not imagine in a million years inflicting my pain on another person, never-mind child. I have made due and will continue just fine.
Sorry for the long rant, I just feel it's important to let people know it is possible to get along after a divorce/split, it can only turn ugly if YOU allow it too. It's heartbreaking for the children stuck in the middle of this mess.