Married my soul mate, so my kids mom filed

I was with my children's mother for 3 years on and off. During that time she was physically, emotionally, and verbally abusive towards me. We lived in the state of California so they're BIG on "Women's Rights" out there. I was raised to never put my hands on women because of watching my father beat on my mother all the time. I made a promise to my mother that I would never abuse any woman. I was and still am a good man.


When I met my kids mom, she was a divorcee with a two year old daughter. She was suppose to be a one night stand, but I ended up getting attached to her daughter and became a father figure in her life. I took care of her daughter as if she were my own. Her daughter's father did nothing for her. I gave her birthday parties, fed, clothed, and provided a roof over all of our heads. My ex told me she wanted to be taken care of and that she didn't want to work anymore. She was very demanding. I begged her not to quit her jobs because I was working two jobs at the time and so was she, just so we could afford rent at this high priced apartment she wanted to live in, in Canyon Country. Well, she just up and quit one of her jobs, and got fired from the other one for not showing up or being late all the time.

This forced me to work three jobs. She then got pregnant by me. So I knew I had to be a man and take care of my responsibilities. Six months into the relationship, she began physically attacking me saying crazy things like "I'm gonna make you pay for what every man has ever done to me!" She would hit me just out the clear blue for no reason. Her sister would come over to visit or spend the night and she would say to them "watch this" and walk past me while I was watching tv and just kick me in my face. She knew I would never hit women so she played on that. She would beat on me because I may not have gotten up to take the trash out right away or something stupid like that. She would ask me to do it and I would tell her in a minute. That would make her angry and she would attack me. Or if I didn't want to buy something that wasn't important to have or just if I didn't want to argue with her, she would attack me.

A year after we had our daughter, she got pregnant again with our second child together, another little girl. She would attack me in front of my kids and belittle me as a man in front of them. After she would attack me, she would call the police and tell them I beat on her and they would arrest me, even though I was the one with the marks and bruises. So I would spend foour nights in jail and then I was sentenced to 3 years of probation, having to attend DV classes and do community service. She was caught one time in broad daylight attacking me out in public, by an off duty officer and was arrested in sentenced to 3 years probation as well. I only stayed with her because of my kids, but finally I just couldn't take it anymore, so I left her after she came out and told me that she didn't love me. I felt like "well, I don't love her either. I'm only here for my kids and I'm tired of all the drama." So I left. Of course I still did for my kids. I was giving her $1200 per month out of my pocket. She and I were broken up for one whole year when I met the love of my life. I met my wife in 2006 and we got married right away, it was like love at first sight.

My ex didn't like that. She tried everything in her power to get me back and try and break up me and my wife. My wife stood strong and stood beside me. Because I wouldn't go back to my ex, she decided to attack me at my wife's and I apartment and when she found out she would probably be going to jail for violating her probation, she filed for child support. She told the child support agency that I had never done anything for my kids and hadn't seen them since birth. She was also committing welfare fraud and collecting food stamps, cash assistance, and daycare for the girls. She and I both had good jobs by the time we had split up, so she didn't need to receive public assistance. But she knows how to go on the computer, along with her sisters, and falsify documents, get false social security numbers and everything so that she can work full time and make good money and collect public assistance so that way she doesn't have to pay for food, she gets extra money, and doesn't have to pay for daycare.

She has a computer in her apartment as well as a shredder. I know all of this because not only have I seen her and her sisters do it, but her mom taught her everything she knows. She only made it to the eigth grade, but she knows alot, because her mom taught her. I have reported her to the welfare fraud department and they are currently investigating her, supposedly. She would stalk my wife and I, my wife couldn't take anymore of it, so we relocated to another state. We became homeless a few times because of my child support obligation being so high. When I was paying my ex $1200 before, I was living with my mom, so I could afford it at the time. But when I got my own place with my wife I had to pay rent ($935 for a studio), and utilities. My wife worked on and off but it was hard for her because she stayed sick alot. My wife suffers from Hyper-Thyroidism/Graves Disease, Osteopenia, and Scoliosis. Which, my ex would call and harrass and mock my wife for being sick and unable to work.

She would refer to us as "Two Mutha F***as who dodn't wanna work". My wife has gotten a little better since then and has been working. We can't afford health insurance right now, but I have to say, I am very proud of her, because even though everyday is a battle for her, she pushes herself to manage just to show her love and support for me. She knows that in order for us to have she needs to work because 50% of my paycheck goes to child support. I am tired of taking it court trying to get it modified. Everytime we take it to court, Child Support lies and says they never received the court papers for my request to have the support modified. We don't know what else to do. No one will help us and we're used to that. So we just deal, the best way we know how. We have our own place again, we have a vehicle, so I guess, that's what we have to be grateful for. We plan to move to Arizona in 2012 so I can be back closer to my kids. I don't get to speak to them, because their mom wants to conrtol me. I don't get pictures of them or anything. I haven't seen them since they were 3 and 1, now they're 6 and 4. I figure, it will be better to move to Arizona because then I will only be 4 hours away from them and not actually living back in California to be harrassed. Not only that, but just last year, I received reports from my daughter's school saying that her mom pulled her out of the school and put her some where else because the school filed a child abuse report against her because my daughter who was 4 at the time, went to school with a busted blood vessel in her eye.

When the teachers asked my daughter what happened, she said "my mommy punched me". I contacted everyone I possibly could in regards to this as soon as I had received the paperwork. Children Services in California says this to me "It doesn't matter if the mother is cracked out, a prosititute, and beating them, she has the right to do whatever she wants as long as she is putting a roof over their heads and feeding and clothing them, because that's all that matters to us." I kid you not, this is exactly what they said to me. So I basically have to wait until we move to Arizona to at least get visitation with my girls and can see for myself how they are doing. She tries to make my kids hate me by telling them I don't love them. I know this because my mom tells me that thats what she does in front of her.

My mom however, is really funny acting. One minute she acts like she's on my side and wants to help the next minute she's on the kids mom side. She didn't even care when my ex would attack me before. You would think that she would care seeing as though she was beaten by my dad all the time. Because my family doesn't like my wife because my wife refuses to see me being used by anyone, they side with my ex. So we're at a lost right now. And this isn't all of the stroy, but I written so much, I know who's ever reading this is tired so, that's just a brief or not so brief summary of what I am going through.

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YOUR STORY COULD BE OURS
by: Anonymous

MY FIANCE', ALSO MY SOUL MATE HAS GONE THROUGH A ERY SIMILAR EXPERIENCE. MY QUESTION IS, IF A COUPLE RESIDE TOGETHER, HAVE 2 KIDS BUT ARE NOT MARRIED, AND THE MAN IS WORKING, WHO IS RESPONSIBLE WHEN THE MOTHER SNEAKILY COLLECTS WELFARE FRAUDULENTLY? NOW A BILL FOR THE MONEY SHE COLLECTED HAS BEEN SENT TO THE MAN. HE DID NOTHING WRONG. WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR PAYING THE MONEY BACK?

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Outsider that listening in...
by: Anonymous

That's said I feel your pain and understand what your going threw and crazy that some woman do things like that ...My prayer go out to you

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cali situation
by: Anonymous

I feel you. I'll pray for you. Never keep trying though to contact your kids.

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